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* Posts by hplasm

2576 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Sony patents LASER-FIRING Wi-Fi SMARTWIG with sideburn buttons

hplasm
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Pirate

Can I get one-

With a bluetooth Cybertash?

Or better yet- a Bluebeard!

Yarr- because...

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Star Wars exec: These ARE THE DROIDS I was LOOKING FOR

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Lucky Barstands!

Talk about dream jobs...

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Prime Minister David Cameron in TWITTER HOOKER SHAME

hplasm
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Happy

Re: It's not news, it's the latest Twitter scandal

"...wrong account..."

It's called Plausible Deniability - hence the similarity of the names...

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3D printing: 'Third industrial revolution' or a load of old cobblers?

hplasm
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Big Brother

re:What if a part in the 3D printer breaks?

You print another one, and then the police claim it's part of a gun.

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The ULTIMATE cuppa showdown: And the winner is...

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

@Zmodem

Are you saying the piss isn't optional?

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WHO ate all the PIs? Sales of Brit mini-puter pass 2 MEELLION

hplasm
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Coat

Re: "Which part of "Foundation" did you not comprehend?"

Well, the second book dragged on a bit...

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Murdoch stands between your kids and filth with BSkyB network-level SHIELD

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Oi Murdoch!

At least two people like to pay more for less, I see.

Advertisers dream.

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hplasm
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Flame

Oi Murdoch!

Do you charge less the more filtered your feed is?

Thought not.

Sod off now, you odious crinkly worm.

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Linux backdoor squirts code into SSH to keep its badness buried

hplasm
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Pint

Re: Let the whining

Blimey!

I stand, pleasantly surprised!

Keep up the high standard of well reasoned commenting - the bridge dwellers slumber on, it seems...

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hplasm
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Meh

Let the whining

commence.

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Microsoft bags another glamorous Office 365 customer

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Watch the fees rise.

There is an agreement- MS don't hike the prices.

Poundland shift Win8.1 and Surface....

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Brit boffin brews INSTANT HANGOVER RELIEF

hplasm
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Happy

Re:"Does it make a good mixer with Scotch?

:Wrong series- sounds more like the joyless STNG Synthohol.

Besides- it'll never get a licence - it's a 'legal high" Shock Horror Probe!!

Expect Prof Nutt to end up in jail for this...

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RETRO-GASM: The Fuze electronics kit for the Raspberry Pi

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: Arduino action

Why not get both- they go together well.

But for 'electronics engineers'- the software really is overkill.

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hplasm
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Re: Sub standard

" Playmobile reconstructions..."

It's been a while- far too long...

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KRAKOOM! iPad Air EXPLODES in FIREBALL, terrified fanbois FLEE Apple store

hplasm
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Coat

Re: unlike you I have had sex with another person

Close relatives don't count - unless up to twenty, on their toes...

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hplasm
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Terminator

Re: Acme Products?

"ACME products? I'm 80% ACME products!"

iBender.

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Snowden: Hey fellow NSA worker, mind if I copy your PASSWORD?

hplasm
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WTF?

NSA- anexample of:-

North American Insecurity or Unsecurity?

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Canadian Vultures shave bare for winter

hplasm
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Coat

Sorry...

Came looking for pictures of shaved bear.

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Sail HO! Look out Bay Area - it's the GOOGLE GALLEON

hplasm
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Coat

At least:-

"Baal is a three-headed demon with a spider's body and tonnes of spider legs,"

- it's a European conspiracy...

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Economical Indian MOM whips up her eggs en route to Mars

hplasm
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Re: US$74 Million

Rather less Pork, in India. They prefer and revere, the beef.

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Microsoft Excel fingering, Captain Jack Sparrow clog Minneapolis election

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Part of the problem...

The trouble with politics:- Too much ordinance, not enough ordnance.

Not even in the US...

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Your kids' chances of becoming programmers? ZERO

hplasm
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Flame

Re: Z80 vs 6502?

Z80- decent 8-bit multipurpose micoprocessor

65xx- Petrol pump brain or washing machine controller.

Flame on! Back to the '80s!

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'Only NUCLEAR power can SAVE HUMANITY', say Global Warming high priests

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Warming of rivers used for coolant by reactors

And how much for other generating plant- as opposed to windmills etc?

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Inventor whips lenscap off 3D-printed pinhole camera

hplasm
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Happy

I had one of these-

But it cost 50p and squirted water out of the hole when you squeezed it.

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Horrific FLESH-EATING PLATYPUS once terrorised Australia

hplasm
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Go

Now it's here!

Selling banking- run!

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Galaxy is CRAMMED with EARTH-LIKE WORLDS – also ALIENS (probably)

hplasm
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Coat

Re: BOFFINS: BILLIONS OF EARTH-LIKE LIFE-FRIENDLY ALIEN WORLDS IN GALAXY

"... Itanium; it is NOT in the periodic table of elements."

oddly, neither is Euphonium- the element all 'brass' instruments are made of...

Perhaps they are more common on these other Earths?

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iPad Air BARES ALL, reveals she's a high maintenance lady

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Is there anybody who approves of this?

"...but glue is lighter than any fastener that would stand the strain."

If Apple was as smart as they like people to think they are, then they would design clips to hold everything together that are part of the case and fittings, strong and light, and would be seen as elegant solutions.

Instead- bodge it with glue like a 4-year old's macaroni picture.

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SR-71 Blackbird follow-up: A new TERRIFYING Mach 6 spy-drone bomber

hplasm
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Black Helicopters

Re: For this aircraft to be built....

"...it will need a justification. A justification in terms of a threat."

A threat like refusing the US any more credit?

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iPad Air not very hot: Apple fanbois SHUN London fondleslab launch

hplasm
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Meh

rather-

My old WiFi-only iPad 3 listed on eBay now for £250 give or take some.

Free postage.

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hplasm
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Meh

8am until 9am

was spent in the nearest coffee shop, talking about the new iPad.

And drinking latte.

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Snowden: Oh, PLEASE let me come to Germany and help Merkel with her phone

hplasm
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Trollface

Annoying Ac is annoying.

Nothing to say?

No?

Shut up.

J.J.Burnel

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Milky Way 'POPS PILLS and SNORTS GAS', insist boffins

hplasm
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Pirate

After the Galactic Coalescence-

Of the Smith Cloud and our own Galaxy, the rise of Boskonia was inevitable.

Space Pirates --->

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Mars defends: HUMANS to SEND UFO to Red Planet by 2016

hplasm
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Coat

Re: has to be

I couldn't eat a whole Mars...

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Nokia emerges smothered in red ink, manages to flog cheapo Windows Phones

hplasm
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Devil

Just hope-

they don't fail to Surface (RT).

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Three million Adobe accounts hacked? Sorry, make that 38 MILLION

hplasm
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Happy

Re: What's in a zero anyways?

Before you 'loose the cloud', at least be polite and open the window.

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Moto sets out plans for crafty snap-together PODULAR PHONES

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: That endoskeleton...

This will appeal to Tetris addicts then!

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Don't crack that Mac: Almost NOTHING in new Retina MacBook Pros can be replaced

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: Genuine Question:

Hot melt glue is the devil's jizz.

It's just not very good. Batteries might just fall out after a few years.

However, bear in mind the metal content of all of those screws - recyclers are interested in gold plating, for instance, and that can be microns thick.

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Is it barge? Is it a data center? Mystery FLOATING 'Google thing'

hplasm
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Pirate

Re: Less likely

"I haff a plan- an Escape Plan..."

/spoiler

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Please, PLEASE, Skype... Don't kill our apps and headsets, plead devs

hplasm
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Windows

An award has been awarded!

For the world's longest oxmoron-

"...an indispensable tool like any other MS Office tool"

unless you know otherwise!

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Ofcom: By 2017, even BUMPKINS will have superfast broadband

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Bumkins?

No, it's a small fluffy bum.

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Microsoft: You've got it all WRONG. It's Apple's iPad playing catch-up with our Surface

hplasm
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Devil

Re:Tell me, does the Surface still run Windows 8?

Up until the next upgrade...

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: literally

Seriously?

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hplasm
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Happy

Haha!

...rivals are now quivering in the shadow of the new Surface machines.

Trying not to laugh out loud...

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Microsoft: Ha ha, my Wall Street friends - THIS time the victory is OURS

hplasm
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Devil

Re:I. Just. Need. Shit. To. Work.

And now you have some.

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Hard-as-woodpecker-lips MOUSE GOBBLES live scorpion, LAUGHS off stings to face

hplasm
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Coat

Grasshopper Mouse-

Student of Mouster Po.

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SEX CRAZED FISH keeping hapless Southamptonites awake

hplasm
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Re: So teach them the words...

The fish hum because they are ... Surströmming!

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Capita splashes £57.5m on Eye-of-Sauron car-park watchdog biz

hplasm
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Devil

Can't wait for the ink to dry on this one.

Just before the Govt decide to make such Car-park CCTV illegal.

(If ever...)

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Surface 2 and iPad Air: Prepare to meet YOUR DOOM under a 'Landfill Android' AVALANCHE

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Fanboi is as fanboi does

FTA-

"Somewhat surprisingly, one problem highlighted by McKinsey was interoperability with some office documents. But it was clearly noted that a simple update on all Linux desktops to the latest versions of OpenOffice could fix that particular issue.

A second study last year by the consultancy group found that a shift to a pure Windows environment on the German Foreign Office's desktop computers would be costly and work-intensive"

Facts, eh. Just as inconvenient as 'OOXML is a Standard' Standards...

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Anonymous and pals gather in support of girl at centre of rape case

hplasm
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Happy

Re: What a strange concept of pleasure you must have

"I can honestly say I've never enjoyed anything sufficiently to soil my underwear."

Then you have never had a decent curry.

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HAD IT with Planet Earth? There are 12 alien worlds left to try out

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Gravity

Probably the ones with a similar size and mass...

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