* Posts by hplasm

4025 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Microsoft won't back down from Windows 10 nagware 'trick'

hplasm
Silver badge
Joke

Re: the craziest thing about it is

"We would be praising them."

Who you calling 'we' paleface? </Tonto>

7
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: From Microsoft dialog boxes UI guidelines....

"It can't be an enjoyable department to work in."

Why shouldn't they suffer too?

9
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Upgrade losses

"I've moved several ex-friends to Win10 on purpose..."

FTFY...

37
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

MS couldn't even jump the shark properly-

without getting eaten.

And people still give them money.

Enablers.

I know winX is free. So is the clap- but easier to avoid.

32
1

US nuke arsenal runs on 1970s IBM 'puter waving 8-inch floppies

hplasm
Silver badge
Boffin

Re: well...

Don't forget the half-dozen or so HP(?) programmable calculators velcro'ed onto the dashboard to show the next AOS* for the approaching ground stations when orbiting.

* Aquisition of Signal- when the next Big Dish comes up over the horizon and can be used.

3
0

Microsoft's Windows Phone folly costs it another billion dollars

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Surely some sort of confusion?

Non-working props? I suppose they count as 'market share'.

And have more apps...

3
1
hplasm
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: It's a shame

"Yep. Windows 10 Mobile is Betamax to Android's VHS."

Haha. Betamax was good. And people bought it.

Try again- oh, no, don't bother...

3
6
hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

" He decided to jump."

Then, eventually, sank without trace.

5
1

Former Sun CEO Scott McNealy has data on 1/14th of humanity

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Let's all send Scott-

lots of Golf Sale ads! Gotta check them all out!

8
0

G4S call centre staff made 'test' 999 calls to hit performance targets

hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Criminals can go straight-

Read the post- 'ex-cops' is a clue to the clueless.

1
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Criminals can go straight-

Why can't bent ex-cops? (rental or otherwise).

9
5

The ‘Vaping Crackdown’ starts today. This is what you need to know

hplasm
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: About time

I'm tired of seeing AC trolls flaunt their filthy addiction in public. It's a disgusting habit as is smoking.

7
1

'Acts of war in a combat zone are not covered by your laptop warranty'

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Bullshit.

Bullshit happens all the time.

5
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: It's not "Help Desk"

It's not "ITIL"

It's PHB Wank.

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

The user was unnamed...

A Mr Stark, would have been priceless.

17
0

A UK digital driving licence: What could possibly go wrong?

hplasm
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: "People are living increasingly social lives"

"As for the plastic driving license, I have actually seen one though it was not mine. I only have a pink and green paper job that I got for free and have never had to pay to renew it."

Wait. Once it next expires, they will charge, and it will be a plastic one.

2
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Big Brother

What could possible go wrong with a fully digital government database?...

Citizen- your licence to drive has been (suddenly) revoked. You are now a criminal. Step away from the car and kneel.

26
0

Airbus to build plane that's even uglier than the A380

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: A380 ugly?

That 'Beluga' pic would look better with a number '2' on the tails- and a dark green with yellow piping paintjob.

Mine has the keys to Fab 1 in it...

9
0

Theranos bins two years of test results

hplasm
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Theranos Breakthrough: Corrected Results From Even Smaller Blood Samples

"How do you supply corrected results after two years without a new blood sample?"

New data: Sample donor is dead.

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

There ain't no justice, else.

Theranos, meet Thanatos.

3
0

The Sons of Kahn and the Witch of Wookey

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Thus spake-

the Oracle! (TM)

2
0

Would we want to regenerate brains of patients who are clinically dead?

hplasm
Silver badge
Alert

Re: No Thanks

The answer is of course 'Scream and Leap'.

Then eat their brain.

1
0

Manchester cops to strap on 3K bodycams

hplasm
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: Secure?

"I wonder if these "police bosses" are confident enough to put their bank details in the same place?"

Probably. Worrying, isn't it?

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: In Manchester??

Should be ok as long as they stay out of Salford.

2
0

Queen’s Speech: Digital Bill to tackle radicalisation, pirates

hplasm
Silver badge
Pirate

Queen voice:

"You do realise, Dread Pirate Man,that if you do make a lot of copies of Steamboat Willie, you will go to jail, and One will probably be dead when you come out. Stop smirking, Charles!"

"Yarr!"

6
2

The Windows 10 future: Imagine a boot stamping on an upgrade treadmill forever

hplasm
Silver badge
Gimp

Re: If there's one thing...

"We have already been through this numerous times, and on each occasion you have been shown how each example can get an Enterprise license."

Well, put your cash where your mouth is, and offer to pay the SMBs for it.

Thought not.

3
4

Art heist 'pranksters' sent down for six months

hplasm
Silver badge
Pint

Re: Only in England

+1 Internet for 'Excited States'

Have a pint.

3
0

Microsoft phone support contractors told to hang up after 15 minutes

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: rubbish

*ring ring*

"Hello, Microsoft Tech Support- how may I help you today?"

"My computer has just upgraded itself to Windows 10 and ..."

*click*

16
1

We're calling it: World hits peak Namey McNameface

hplasm
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: bollocks-filter

"Don''t forget 'methinks'."

Nothing wrong with 'methinks' as such. However, almost every comment post on any forum that starts or contains the phrase "I think..." usually proves the opposite to be true in very short order, methinks.

10
0

A cracked window on the International Space Station? That's not good

hplasm
Silver badge
Angel

Re: Time out

Nah- extend the Turner prize to space debris, and watch Emin* and Hurst* knock themselves out over it. Might get a nice ring out of it.

Oh, and they can stay up there to polish it.

*Other random 'Artists' are available...

2
0

First successful Hyperloop test module hits 100mph in four seconds

hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: So many luddites...

" I suppose you were one of the cheerleaders for Segway when it was announced, too?"

And I suppose that you are over 150 and were afraid that steam power would kill us all.

See- I can 'suppose', too. Now I shall also get off your lawn.

8
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

So many luddites...

...so little optimism.

Is everyone just waiting for the new Fall of Rome?

Oh wait! X-Factor is on!!!

16
2

Windows 10 build 14342: No more friendly Wi-Fi sharing

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Without a doubt

"In the longer term though, I wonder if a feature-rich OS such as Windows is going to be relevant,"

Keep waiting- it's losing more and more features with every 'update'.

1
1

Archaeologists find oldest ever ground-edge stone axe

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: "...the date of the invention to some 49,000 years."

A bit like 'The world's fastest runner! (That showed up at the race).

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Hold on a gosh darned minute...

Eee, but t'years wer much longer in t'old days...

2
0

A UK-wide fibre broadband investment plan? Don't ask awkward questions

hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

"...the only thing that matters is profit..."

Welcome to the future. Or the present, forever.

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Mushroom

Ban BT snouts from the public trough.

Give the 'grants' (tax money) to someone who actually intends to spend it on infrastructure, not TV sport.

8
0

French duck-crushing device sells for €40k

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Absolutely horrendous...

Not just now- it's Owl Stretching Time.

6
0

Linux Mint to go DIY for multimedia

hplasm
Silver badge
Gimp

Re: Er... NO!!!!

"...something that your granny can use without having to phone you every two minutes."

Not Windows, then.

12
3

London NHS trust fined £180,000 after second bcc fail on HIV email list

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

But but...isn't Outlook email?

No, but it thinks it is.

11
4

Windows 10 free upgrade offer ends on July 29th

hplasm
Silver badge
Joke

Re: No more nagware?

"But do they recognise jokes when they see them?"

Unless they are the ones they keep writing and foisting on poor PCs, then maybe...

1
0

Microsoft half-bricks Asus Windows 7 PCs with UEFI boot glitch

hplasm
Silver badge
Gimp

MS Magic Roundabout...

Here it comes again! Grit your teeth...

14
3

Official: Microsoft's 'Get Windows 10' nagware to vanish from PCs in July

hplasm
Silver badge
WTF?

Re: SatNad is my favorite M$ CEO EVER!!1!

Taxi for Mr Poe?

4
0

'I thought my daughter clicked on ransomware – it was the damn Windows 10 installer'

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

"It is ransomware - they just haven't posted the ransom notes yet."

They did- but they are stuck in Exchange.

14
0

Learn a scripting language and play nicely: How to get a DevOps job

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Not asking much then?

Also- 'Beware of a programmer carrying a screwdriver'

7
0

The 'new' Microsoft? I still wouldn't touch them with a barge pole

hplasm
Silver badge
Holmes

Are Google and Apple any better?

Yes.

17
3
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Ah, but....

"Microsoft make a number of truly fantastic technologies and they are legitimately at the cutting edge of a number of hybrid cloud technologies."

...I see the problem. Clouds shouldn't have cutting edges!

28
0

'Apple ate my music!' Streaming jukebox wipes 122GB – including muso's original tracks

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: 122GB ? Pah. Windows 10 OneDrive client ate over 200GB of my files!

"It's astonishing that this issue has not received wider coverage."

It has- check out all the 'Windows 10 is rubbish' articles.

3
2

Brits who live in 'smart cities' don't really know or care

hplasm
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: More fluff....

"I don't want to be surprised by muggers or feral dogs or something"

To be fair- they would have to keep still whilst waiting to attack you....or you would see them.

0
0

Cops deploy StingRay anti-terror tech against $50 chicken-wing thief

hplasm
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: Curiouser and curiouser

"Four legs good, two legs better!"

Stingrays have no legs- no legs best!

3
0

Forums