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* Posts by hplasm

2634 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Five-year-old discovers Xbox password bug, hacks dad's Live account

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Good on the kid for figuring this out, but

Isn't that the same technique that gave us TIFKAM?

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Nothing's as SCARY as an overly aggressive SOFTWARE PIMP

hplasm
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WTF?

Re:"Try them both on a 13" retina display..."

You have 13" eyes? Are you a squid?

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In three hours, Microsoft gave the Windows-verse everything it needed

hplasm
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Windows

Re: None of this changes anything

"We are not the modern equivalent of car-fiddling 20 somethings who brag about tiny inconsequential tweaks that took hours to sort out."

So stop installing 3d party fixes for W8's shortcomings and bragging about it.

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BEHOLD the HOLY GRAIL of TECH: The REVERSIBLE USB plug

hplasm
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Happy

Re: We have all experienced Schrödinger's USB stick

All cables have the plug on upside-down. It's a natural law.

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Puking! protester! forces! Yahoo! 'techie! scum!' to! ride! vile! bile! barf! bus! to! work!

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Die Techie Scum

Ha- beat me to it- German techno Band...

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Is this photo PROOF a Windows 7 Start Menu is coming back?

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: Please make it optional... some people aren't idiots

Original desktop too hard for some people, it seems; love W8...

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Back off, Siri! Microsoft debuts Halo beauty Cortana

hplasm
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Devil

Re: You MS haters are amusing!

MS- you are just being Siri now.

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hplasm
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Meh

"Cortana is powered by Bing,"

Holly has an IQ of 5000.

We all know how that turned out.

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El Reg's Deep Outback XP upgrade almost foiled by KILLER ARACHNIDS

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Just to be pedantic

So- are the leggy fuckers toxic, or not?

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Hotmail-gate: Windows 8 code leaker pleads guilty to theft of trade secrets

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Russian national?

" Which will look amazingly like Win 8.1 but without the suck."

The look is a major part of the suck. It is tightly integrated...

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How Microsoft can keep Win XP alive – and WHY: A real-world example

hplasm
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Linux

Re: WHY because Why waste that old Hardware, its bad for Planet Earth.

"Can Ubuntu control a lathe?"

Yes, it can.

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HTC One M8: Reg man takes spin in Alfa Romeo of smartphone world

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Windows 8 BREAKS ITSELF after system restores

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Stay with Win7

The Win9 Start Button will probably just be a PayPal button that says "Give cash to Microsoft".

And you'll have to press it on a daily basis.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: breaking news

It's breaking, bad. (ly)

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Apple vows to add racially diverse EMOJIS after MILEY CYRUS TWITTER outrage

hplasm
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Well-

"We have filed a request with the government in the hope of launching our own petition demanding that British politicians ban the use emojis altogether."

This!

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As WinXP death looms, Microsoft releases its operating system SOURCE CODE for free

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Are you insane?

"Like performance and security features - yeah what a waste of time."

Well it's not like they actually did anything...

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The plot to kill Google cloud: We'll rename Windows Azure to MICROSOFT Azure

hplasm
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Happy

Re: The comments posted here should be on SNL in the US. You Brits ROCK!

You're welcome. Please pass on our complements to your countrymen in Redmond for their comedy stylings also.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: When will the next name change be?

$500,000 would get them the Smart Price or Tesco Value branding- that would be better.

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It's 2014 and you can pwn a PC by opening a .RTF in Word, Outlook

hplasm
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Windows

"... compatibility with previous versions..."

MS Office- Crap yesterday, crap tomorrow. You can rely on it.

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EE...K: Why can't I uninstall carrier's sticky 'Free Games' app?

hplasm
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Happy

Because there is nothing on my Lumia...

apps wise.

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What does people-centric IT mean, anyway?

hplasm
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Windows

People-centric IT

MS version:-

Round up all the users in the centre of a field and put a big chain around them.

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Microsoft exec: I don't know HOW our market share sunk

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Choice versus forced...

"It was pretty obvious that Microsoft software was designed"

Ah- I can see your problem right there...

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Tornado-chasing stealth Batmobile set to invade killer vortices

hplasm
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Happy

Re: What is it with Americans

It'll be fine unless a Trenco or a zwilnik's bomb gets under the leading edge...

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'Arrogant' Snowden putting lives at risk, says NSA's deputy spyboss

hplasm
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Re: Right...

My list of people who can Fuck Right Off grows daily.

Ledgett is on it.

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Every little helps: Dirty MOLE BANDITS clean out Tesco ATM from BELOW

hplasm
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Happy

There I was...

Diggin' this 'ole

'Ole in the ground,

Big and sort of round it was-

And then I found myself surrounded by the Plod, M'lud.

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QUIDOCALYPSE: Blighty braces for £100 MILLION cost of new £1 coin

hplasm
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Joke

Re: Coin recognition

ISIS will make the machines more expensive, as each one has to hold a copy of the link-state routing table...

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: "it has 15 faces (12 bevels, obverse, reverse, outer edge)"

Looks pretty much like a cow to me too- ( NOT Liz...).

Moreso than Tesco milk, anyway...

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Monkey steals iPod touch, loses interest in minutes

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Stormi-Lee

Or a Marvel/ X-men connection?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re:Strange, my son used to enjoy chewing the corners...

Not an Apple device then?

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Keep your quinoa, hipsters: Boffins back healthy slabs of choc

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: Almost daily ...

"Imagine the irony if you were to get run over by a bus tomorrow...."

Lying there, in a pool of dark liquid deliciousness as it seeps from your squashed torso...

/that was odd...

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Bing accused of out-censoring the Great Firewall

hplasm
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Happy

Never confuse malice-

With a crappy search engine.

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Microsoft's SQL Server 2014 early code: First look

hplasm
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Windows

Re: There's a news article on this?

"Guess what, it's a big world out there and we like this little thing called 'Choice'."

Lock-in beats Choice like Lizard beats Spock.

It is inevitable.

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Osbo's booze, bingo, biz and big data Budget

hplasm
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Re: New homes for the south

Is there any other country that is so capital-city centric in terms of wealth creation?

Not off the Discworld, no.

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NSA spies recorded an entire COUNTRY'S phone calls for a MONTH: Report

hplasm
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Happy

Re: not the most important question

.docx ?

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Eight hour cleansing to get all the 'faggots' and 'bitches' OUT of Github

hplasm
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Happy

Surely-

1) It's "Ghengis Khaaaaaaaaan!!!!!!"

We are talking PC nerds (and MAC nerds and *NIX nerds) after all...

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Daring danger-drone dives into VOLCANIC eruption – what happens next has to be seen

hplasm
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Flame

Re: All it was missing...

didn't you see the tiny, legless figure burning and waving his arm?

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Spend zero notes to take all notes with OneNote: Microsoft makes app free, builds it for OS X

hplasm
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Windows

Straws!

Beware! The clutching continues!!

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ZEPPELINS to replace Goodyear blimps in American skies

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Zeppelin NT?

Zeppelin 8x yet to take off...

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iPhone 6 FEELS your heat, wetness... and it'll TELL Apple – report

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Tinfoil hat

"But at least it is a stylish cop, right?"

Crockett or Tubbs?

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hplasm
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Re: NFC?

So effiing what If a man is looking at anything, do you really think they want to see adverts for anything?

FTFY

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iOS 7's weak random number generator stuns kernel security – claim

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Apple are to computers as

Fisher Price? I thought that was MS?

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Windows hits the skids, Mac OS X on the rise

hplasm
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Meh

Re: @Matt: reasons to switch away from Windows

"...The vast majority of enterprises require a) documents to be interchanged seemlessly and look the same at source and destination"

That's MS Office out of the game then.

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Is Microsoft hinting at a fully fondleslab-friendly future for Office 365?

hplasm
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Linux

Re: "... the right Office for everyone . . ."

tricky.

OpenOffice or LibreOffice?

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Target IGNORED hacker alarms as crooks took 40m credit cards – claim

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Minor correction

In this case, Target is a target.

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Amazon wants me to WEAR NAPPIES?! But I'm a 40-something MAN

hplasm
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Happy

re:"I am against nuke plants, vehemently..."

At least Amazon don't try to sell you new-fangled stocking looms or anything like that...

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That NSA denial in full: As of right now, we're not pretending to be Facebook or Twitter

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: We are not spying on you, honestly

We are not spying on you, honestly

Dishonestly, however....

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Not sure if you're STILL running Windows XP? AmIRunningXP.com to the rescue!

hplasm
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Happy

Re: What does it say if you're running, say, Win98?

"Wake up, Neo. the Matrix has you. Follow the White Rabbit"

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Microsoft was 'willing' to buy WhatsApp says Bill Gates

hplasm
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Linux

“When you have a lot of money, it allows you to go down a lot of dead ends,”

TIKFKAM

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