* Posts by hplasm

5610 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

SpaceX gets ready to crash barge-land ANOTHER rocket

hplasm
Happy

"...WITHOUT BURNING ANY OF THE DECK CHAIRS."

Version 3...

hplasm
Joke

re:Thunderbirds Are GO

That's version 2.

(Not V2, that lands much harder on the house)

RBS sticks it to customers once again as IT woes continue

hplasm
Black Helicopters

Won't all of these cock-ups

drop the share price to a suspiciously low level.

Just before the Govt sells them off...

Microsoft sez soz over Windows 10 'freebie' balls-up

hplasm
Devil

Re: Free for a year

Then turns (back) into a pumpkin.

Anakin Skywalker chased by cops, crashes podracer into tree

hplasm
Meh

Whilst driving-

was the defendant heard to say "Wheee!" ?

hplasm
Happy

"...Jar jar binks was shot and killed in a 7-11 robbery."

Nothing to see here, move along. Move along."

/waves hand.

Police robot duo storm Colorado house, end four-day siege

hplasm
Paris Hilton

Why did they want to re-arrest him?

Beacuse nobody was home to look after him???

Microsoft U-turns on 'free' Windows 10 upgrade promise for ALL previewers

hplasm
Happy

"You can happily use Windows"

Citation needed.

Sun like it hot: Philae comet probe wakes up, phones home again

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: Not Necking Celery

just hope they DO find a black obelisk.....

FTFY

Open-source Linux doesn't pay, said no one ever at Red Hat

hplasm
Gimp

Re: Even if it doesn't pay.

"...If you can't deal with change...waahhh"

SystemD is like paying in Euro and getting your change in Peso.

Raspberry Pi guys want you to go topless in the heat

hplasm
Happy

Re: Why the long decision process?

yum toast, or yum dead-badger?

hplasm
Linux

Why the long decision process?

Surely it can't be hard to choose between a gutted toaster and a hollowed out dead badger?

apt-get coat...

Sharing Economy latest: Women's breast milk is the new 'liquid gold' of the internet

hplasm
Coat

Re: Mmm...

Pull the udder one...

hplasm
Coat

"...wouldn't the milk have to be pasteurised?"

Pasteurised is best- but I don't care if it just comes up to my chest!

/Ernie

Microsoft unzips $120,000 in FREE gizzits for cloudy upstarts

hplasm
Devil

Re: Getting 'free' stuff from Microsoft...

You get stuffed -for free!

NatWest IT cock-up sees 600,000 transactions go 'missing'

hplasm
Meh

Re: It'll keep happening....

Because to fix it costs money, and Exec Yachts must get forever bigger. ^H^H^H^H^H show growth year on year...

hplasm
Happy

"...I have been there wearing a Morticia wig a couple of times, for no particular reason."

I saw you there. Nice legs.

The insidious danger of the lone wolf control freak sysadmin

hplasm
Devil

Re: It happens

Pour petrol on it.

"That xxx? Oh Tim's dealing with it. Project Y? Tim's dealing with it. Bog's blocked?- go and see Tim."

Watch the burnout.

Mwahahaha!!

Apple seeks fawning 'journalists' for in-house 'news' self pluggery

hplasm
Happy

R C-J

Darn - beat me to it!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/correspondents/rorycellanjones

POD RACING: SpaceX will build the Hyperloop railgun tube-way – you bring the ride

hplasm
Happy

Re: No human will ride

Each pod must contain 1 (one) cheese.

Also: This ain't no train- it's a test-bed magneti-gun spaceship launcher!

Bing to encrypt search traffic by default

hplasm
Devil

Re: Bing

Bing has search traffic?

OPEN WIDE: Microsoft Live Writer authoring tool going open source

hplasm
Meh

Re: What licence?

"So you go straight to 'Trap' without waiting to see what occurs rather than actually looking at the direction Microsoft do seem to be taking now-a-days?"

Safest bet.

Microsoft says its latest, dodgy Windows 10 build is good for (almost) everyone

hplasm
Devil

"my car makes a really terrible boat..."

Mi Crosoft makes a really terrible Operating System.

FTFY

In memoriam: Christopher Lee, Hammer's Count Dracula

hplasm
Unhappy

R.I.P Prince of Darkness

And all your other excellent characters. We shall miss you.

(Insert garlic coment here after respectful pause)

Indie review of UK surveillance laws: As you were, GCHQ

hplasm
Stop

Re: "strong and vital powers"

"...a nice uniform with dangling runes,"

Hey- I want one of those- let the bad guys use swastikas or something that's already ruined!

Condoleezza to China: 'The rules' mean cyber-spying isn't allowed

hplasm
Happy

Re:WTF ?

"Sorry man - your 'Semper Fi' tat should be on your arm..."

hplasm
Meh

Sorry Leezzzeee

You soured your goodwill by your time with big W.

Nobody cares what you think anymore, particularly in the Civilised World.

Gonna RUB MYSELF against the WALL: Microsoft's Surface Hub 84" monster-slab

hplasm
Joke

Only in America...

"...the size of the screens is so unusual in today's market that Microsoft couldn't find an existing assembly line in Asia that could handle them."

Because they are specified in inches, rather than metric...

Top Eurocop: People are OK with us snooping on their phone calls

hplasm
Big Brother

Re: He seems to have forgotten to include

"In his mind: May == Always"

also In his mind: May == His Snooping Ally in the UK

Life in plastic, it's fantastic: Playmobil supremo dies at 81

hplasm
Trollface

Re: Big fucking deal

Meh - you're not anywhere close to the icon here.

Let's kill off the meaningless concept of SW-defined storage

hplasm
Boffin

Re: Please kill "Layer 3 Switch" as well

To be fair, Layer 3 switches understand routing (to a certain degree) whereas just Data Switches don't.

And Layer Cake switches will shoot you in the face if you try to make them route packets, whether they have a mockney accent bit set or not.

Brit plods' post-TETRA radio omnishambles comes home to roost

hplasm
Joke

Re: Jamming.

"And you think the Home Office aren't able to find jammers and send the operators to jail?"

I think you forgot this icon...

Google: Our self-driving cars would be tip-top if you meatheads didn’t crash into them

hplasm
Meh

Re: To those here hailing the arrival of Google cars

"I'm confident I can drive myself a car ..."

Nothing personal, but that right there is the heart of the problem.

ESA shortlists three medium-sized missions for 2025 launch

hplasm
Paris Hilton

Re: Arial

"As its a bit more 'sexy' "

That sounds a little ...fishy...

Gremlins in the first six months? It's the seller's problem – EU court

hplasm
Windows

Re: Windows 10

It's only free if your time is worth nothing...

hplasm
Devil

Windows 10

Better be up to scratch then...

Ed Snowden should be pardoned, thunders Amnesty Int'l

hplasm
Unhappy

Sadly

true.

Microsoft spunks $500m to reinvent the wheel. Why?

hplasm
Devil

Re: I object in the strongest possible terms!

"They made it triangular, with one less bump! So There!"

But with the move back towards 2D, would the MS Wheel not just be a line?

That would explain the bumpy ride...

Plod IT spending fails to fall down the stairs as taxpayers cough £385m

hplasm
Coat

"The body has taken four-years to get off the ground"

Did it leave behind a white outline ?

Why did Snowden swipe 900k+ US DoD files? (Or so Uncle Sam claims)

hplasm
FAIL

Re: I know I'm in a minority on here

" Do the deed, have the balls to face the repercussions."

said the AC...

Windows 8.1 market share grows, Windows 7 slips, Windows 10 lurks

hplasm
Devil

Re: Not just a service pack

"I'm not aware that there has ever been an authoritative definition of what constitutes a Windows service pack"

Different bugs, and probably more of them...

HMRC ditches Microsoft for Google, sends data offshore

hplasm
Gimp

Re: i bet....

Idiot MS users will, as always, hate google apps.

hplasm
Meh

Re: The US government

have ALWAYS been granted access to all our tax records.

FTFY

Hackers steal files on 4 million US govt workers

hplasm
Holmes

Begun-

This cyberwar has...

Yoda ^H^H^H^H Some crinkly Republican Congressman.

Virgin Galactic will get into space 'within 18 months to two years'

hplasm
Coat

Re: At 250K a pop.

""We are democratising plutocracising plutocratising space."

Dwarf-Planetising, shurely?

hplasm
Facepalm

Re: Unless you go round at least once ...

So Phineas Fogg was the first spaceman -FACT!

(I know he's fictional...)

Hubble spots Pluto's moons are a chaotic mess of tumbling rock

hplasm
Happy

Re: Pluto is simply spawning.

Dog eggs?

hplasm
Happy

That's is no moons...

That's is a dwarfes's - oh never minds...

Science teacher jammed his school kids' phones, gets week suspension

hplasm
Facepalm

Re: Whatever happened to 'respect'???

It got replaced with the fuzzy concept of "Disrespec' '"

grr...

Large Hadron Collider gives young ALICE a black-hole ray gun

hplasm
Happy

Re: Quark-gluon plasma

@DAM

What are birds?