* Posts by hplasm

2660 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

SPB's mountaintop HQ menaced by WOLVES

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Good news for the Tourist industry!

Seeing as wolves only attack people in fairy tales.

3
0

The British are coming! The British are coming! And they're buying Surface fondleslabs

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

MS adopts UK Marketing strategy, ups figures-

"I say you buy one- you get one free!!"

1
0

Could a 'Zunewatch' be Microsoft's next hardware foray?

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: zune

"'Z-o-o-n' That spells Zune!"

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Zuney Bin

"The Zunewatch, as it will most certainly not be named..."

There- feel that shift in reality as the 'Zunewatch' becomes a thing?

Dosen't matter what they really call it now...

3
0

Google's driverless car: It'll just block our roads. It's the WORST

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Haven’t we forgotten something?

This does however, mean the car itself is free.

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Platooooooon - HALT!

"...Although the 1 second delay at a green light will, almost certainly, lead to more Google cars getting a shunt (though only if they're first at the light) as people *always* move in anticipation of lights turning green..."

Ha.

A 1 second delay is about 29 seconds faster than the dimwit at the front of the queue realising the light has changed. Multiply by the number of cars...

35
3

100% driverless Wonka-wagon toy cars? Oh Google, you're having a laugh

hplasm
Silver badge
Go

Re: Things I would like to see

" it’s going to be fun being a trucker again."

Hopefully down the dole office as truckers are the first to be replaced by Wonka-cars...

7
6

Microsoft's 'CEO of no' on Xbox: NO SALE

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

"Bing is actually a successful product for Microsoft"

Bing! It's no Zune!!!

6
1

It's Google's NO-WHEEL car. OMG... there aren't any BRAKES

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Total Recall

"Shouldn't there be a Johnny in the front seat?"

I'm sure there will be several...

10
0

Disney plans standalone Star Wars movies to go with the main trilogy

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: I truly HOPE the title is...

Star Wars IXa: Jar Jar Balls in a Jar Jar Ball Jar.

Ballsy but jarring...

0
0

Bing's the thing in Microsoft's push for cheap Windows devices

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Microsoft, Bing, Windows 8.1

Having distaste for Microsoft takes no energy- it's a natural ground state.

Using their products however...

10
1

Autodesk CEO: '3D printing has been way overhyped'

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: home usage

An admirable sentiment- but much cheaper to not break your washing machine so often?

0
0

Boeing CEO says no more 'moonshots' after 787 Dreamliner ordeal

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: So, 1st big firm to openly confirm Innovation is dead

Innovation is incompatible with Executive Bonuses.

7
0

You know all those resources we're about to run out of? No, we aren't

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Unobtainium-

There's loads of it. But it always just moves out of reach- that's what makes it special!

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Great Article.

As soon as I saw the Headlines in the press, I knew they were crap- now I know exactly why, and have had confirmed for once and for all, that we as a planet, are being run by a pack of idiots.

56
1

Concerning Windows Phone and its relevance to the larger business

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

re:" Microsoft,... is at least familiar with the needs of enterprise IT"

The needs of enterprise IT, as defined by Microsoft, are what they want them to buy, whether they need it or not.

11
4

China to become world's No 1 economy. And we still can't see why

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Employee share options

Perhaps a lack of faith in Western companies, or at least in their management, who would sell out the whole shebang for a bonus, is to blame here?

5
0

Google: The Internet of Things to become the Internet of ADVERTS ON YOUR THERMOSTAT

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Why is it

I agree- but I bet your watch has a maker's name on the bezel...

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: How much?

Remember- if you don't know what the product is- YOU DON'T NEED ONE.

FTFY

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Pirate

Re: Smart' Traction

Indeed- let the smart, rich guys spend zillions on developing the nice, reliable shiny hardware; then let the smarter smart guys rip into it and twist it to their, and our, visions of the future.

CyaogenMod-O-Stat 2000 anyone?

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Oh goody!

"I often wonder what the difference in sales would be across the board if we went back to say the '50s."

Hat sales would go through the roof...

1
0

Microsoft Surface 3 Pro: Flip me over, fondle me up

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Who ate all the pies?

Trusty Flickhammer!

0
0

Microsoft walks into a bar. China screams: 'Eww is that Windows 8? GET OUT OF HERE'

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Touchscreen on a Desktop?

"How on earth did MS go from something as good as W7 to the CRAP of W8?"

In terms of crapness, it's not so far.

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: This is very telling.

"Do they hate the UI or piracy prevention mechanisms?"

Same thing, aren't they?

4
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: breaking news!

Surface 3 launch.

Not news... just another product launch burp.

7
1

Uncivil engineering: US society skewers self-published science

hplasm
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

What happens-

if you publish in the 'open' sites first, then with the ASCE?

0
0

'Executed ex' of Norkers' bonkers Kim Jong-un rises FROM THE GRAVE

hplasm
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Hyon Song-wol is ...

"Hyon Song-wol is ... "

The NK answer to Schrodingers Cat?

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re:God alone knows what the real truth is.

Yes- but which one?

0
0

BEAM ME UP SCOTTY: Boffins to turn PURE LIGHT into MATTER

hplasm
Silver badge
Boffin

Re: Star Trek Replicators

Pah.

What we need now is an inertialess engine to generate this matter inside of...

and an intertialess ship on the end of it.

2
0

Urinating teen polluted 57 Olympic-sized swimming pools - cops

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Urine is sterile

"And the bottled water came from WHERE originally...?"

I'll have you know that the water has been passed by Mr Grylls personally!

1
0

Space Station in CRISIS: Furious Russia threatens to BAN US from ISS

hplasm
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: "the irreplaceable orbital station"

Not the last- there's still the Axiom... http://pixar.wikia.com/Axiom

0
0

Russia to suspend US GPS stations in tit-for-tat spat

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Potty @Anonymous Coward

"... whereas you rabidly bleat it at every opportunity."

Don't 'bleat' Trevor- Matt will sue for infringement of his raison d'etre...

6
3

The weird and wonderful mind of H.R Giger is no more

hplasm
Silver badge
Unhappy

Adieu, great artist.

The world will be more mundane without your vision.

3
0

Microsoft throws Kinect under a bus, slashes Xbox One to $399

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Ah-

The sound of another MS U-turn- featuring samples of the lyrical stylings of M Thatcher...

Play on.

10
1

Stop bullying SUPER FAT GODZILLA, urge movie stars

hplasm
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

"It's been sixty years..."

Trying to block out the last Hollywood version, then?

5
0

Boffinry breakthrough: First self-replicating life with 'alien' DNA

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: I for one welcome

Life imitating Prometheus... (The film, not the firebringer...)

0
0

Britain'll look like rural Albania without fracking – House of Lords report

hplasm
Silver badge
Unhappy

A new Dark Ages?

Or an Idiocracy?

The future looks rather bleak for anything good to happen, one way or another.

TGIF tomorrow...

1
0

Microsoft: You know we said NO MORE XP PATCHES? Well ...

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: XP

WINDOWS

Surely the old yeller of operating systems.

Surely Microsoft should get the rifle out for it now

FTFY

3
0

SpaceX wins court injunction to block US Air Force buying Russian rockets

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: I like Elon.

The irony of using the Govt embargo rules against the Govt.

Elon Musk is Irony Man.

25
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

"What they have we don't need...."

If that was true, then you wouldn't need what they have...

6
0

Microsoft's Azure cloud goes a bit wobbly in West Europe

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

DaaS

Downtime as a Service.

Continuing Innovation from Microsoft.

32
3

Fix capitalism with floating cities on Venus says Charles Stross

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Good ideas Need cash

We need more Elon Musks and fewer Donald Trumps.

26
1

New .london domains touted tomorrow amid usual tech hypegasm

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: why .london instead of...

"Surely .nodnol would be for a Bulgarian site?"

surely that would be .8008135 ... if they had numbers...

0
0

94% of Brit tech bosses just can't get the staff these days, claims bank

hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Hard to get the staff?

"The punctuation in that ad would stop me applying."

The punctuation in that ad is the only attractive thing about it.

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Can't get the staff

They want contractors; then they can screw them.

12
0

Microsoft forms 'Special Projects' black ops team

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Surely this is just Microsoft Research under a different name?

"Given that Google is developing the self-driving automobile"

But MS have had the self-crashing computer for ages...

10
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Huh?

And don't forget OOXML...

5
0

Google's self-driving car breakthrough: Stop sign no longer a problem

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: 700,000 miles

Deploy missiles...

2
0

Chap builds mobe based on Raspberry Pi

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

re:"*If you want contributions to the hacking of electronics;"

Do you live near Jake?

12
1

Look behind you, 'declining' sub-$5bn iPod. The iWatch has come... to EAT YOU

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Trouble with the ipod is, most everyone who wants one, has got one apparently.

Then again, I've long dreamed of that laser projector built into my wristwatch... (zap!!!)

FTFY

0
0

Forums