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* Posts by hplasm

2569 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

As WinXP death looms, Microsoft releases its operating system SOURCE CODE for free

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Are you insane?

"Like performance and security features - yeah what a waste of time."

Well it's not like they actually did anything...

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Windows 8 BREAKS ITSELF after system restores

hplasm
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Devil

Re: breaking news

It's breaking, bad. (ly)

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The plot to kill Google cloud: We'll rename Windows Azure to MICROSOFT Azure

hplasm
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Happy

Re: The comments posted here should be on SNL in the US. You Brits ROCK!

You're welcome. Please pass on our complements to your countrymen in Redmond for their comedy stylings also.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: When will the next name change be?

$500,000 would get them the Smart Price or Tesco Value branding- that would be better.

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It's 2014 and you can pwn a PC by opening a .RTF in Word, Outlook

hplasm
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Windows

"... compatibility with previous versions..."

MS Office- Crap yesterday, crap tomorrow. You can rely on it.

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EE...K: Why can't I uninstall carrier's sticky 'Free Games' app?

hplasm
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Happy

Because there is nothing on my Lumia...

apps wise.

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What does people-centric IT mean, anyway?

hplasm
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Windows

People-centric IT

MS version:-

Round up all the users in the centre of a field and put a big chain around them.

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Microsoft exec: I don't know HOW our market share sunk

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Choice versus forced...

"It was pretty obvious that Microsoft software was designed"

Ah- I can see your problem right there...

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Tornado-chasing stealth Batmobile set to invade killer vortices

hplasm
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Happy

Re: What is it with Americans

It'll be fine unless a Trenco or a zwilnik's bomb gets under the leading edge...

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'Arrogant' Snowden putting lives at risk, says NSA's deputy spyboss

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Right...

My list of people who can Fuck Right Off grows daily.

Ledgett is on it.

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Every little helps: Dirty MOLE BANDITS clean out Tesco ATM from BELOW

hplasm
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Happy

There I was...

Diggin' this 'ole

'Ole in the ground,

Big and sort of round it was-

And then I found myself surrounded by the Plod, M'lud.

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QUIDOCALYPSE: Blighty braces for £100 MILLION cost of new £1 coin

hplasm
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Joke

Re: Coin recognition

ISIS will make the machines more expensive, as each one has to hold a copy of the link-state routing table...

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: "it has 15 faces (12 bevels, obverse, reverse, outer edge)"

Looks pretty much like a cow to me too- ( NOT Liz...).

Moreso than Tesco milk, anyway...

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Monkey steals iPod touch, loses interest in minutes

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Stormi-Lee

Or a Marvel/ X-men connection?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re:Strange, my son used to enjoy chewing the corners...

Not an Apple device then?

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Keep your quinoa, hipsters: Boffins back healthy slabs of choc

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: Almost daily ...

"Imagine the irony if you were to get run over by a bus tomorrow...."

Lying there, in a pool of dark liquid deliciousness as it seeps from your squashed torso...

/that was odd...

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Bing accused of out-censoring the Great Firewall

hplasm
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Happy

Never confuse malice-

With a crappy search engine.

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Microsoft's SQL Server 2014 early code: First look

hplasm
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Windows

Re: There's a news article on this?

"Guess what, it's a big world out there and we like this little thing called 'Choice'."

Lock-in beats Choice like Lizard beats Spock.

It is inevitable.

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Osbo's booze, bingo, biz and big data Budget

hplasm
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Re: New homes for the south

Is there any other country that is so capital-city centric in terms of wealth creation?

Not off the Discworld, no.

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NSA spies recorded an entire COUNTRY'S phone calls for a MONTH: Report

hplasm
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Happy

Re: not the most important question

.docx ?

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Eight hour cleansing to get all the 'faggots' and 'bitches' OUT of Github

hplasm
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Happy

Surely-

1) It's "Ghengis Khaaaaaaaaan!!!!!!"

We are talking PC nerds (and MAC nerds and *NIX nerds) after all...

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Daring danger-drone dives into VOLCANIC eruption – what happens next has to be seen

hplasm
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Flame

Re: All it was missing...

didn't you see the tiny, legless figure burning and waving his arm?

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Spend zero notes to take all notes with OneNote: Microsoft makes app free, builds it for OS X

hplasm
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Windows

Straws!

Beware! The clutching continues!!

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ZEPPELINS to replace Goodyear blimps in American skies

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Zeppelin NT?

Zeppelin 8x yet to take off...

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iPhone 6 FEELS your heat, wetness... and it'll TELL Apple – report

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Tinfoil hat

"But at least it is a stylish cop, right?"

Crockett or Tubbs?

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hplasm
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Re: NFC?

So effiing what If a man is looking at anything, do you really think they want to see adverts for anything?

FTFY

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iOS 7's weak random number generator stuns kernel security – claim

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Apple are to computers as

Fisher Price? I thought that was MS?

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Windows hits the skids, Mac OS X on the rise

hplasm
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Meh

Re: @Matt: reasons to switch away from Windows

"...The vast majority of enterprises require a) documents to be interchanged seemlessly and look the same at source and destination"

That's MS Office out of the game then.

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Is Microsoft hinting at a fully fondleslab-friendly future for Office 365?

hplasm
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Linux

Re: "... the right Office for everyone . . ."

tricky.

OpenOffice or LibreOffice?

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Target IGNORED hacker alarms as crooks took 40m credit cards – claim

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Minor correction

In this case, Target is a target.

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Amazon wants me to WEAR NAPPIES?! But I'm a 40-something MAN

hplasm
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Happy

re:"I am against nuke plants, vehemently..."

At least Amazon don't try to sell you new-fangled stocking looms or anything like that...

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That NSA denial in full: As of right now, we're not pretending to be Facebook or Twitter

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: We are not spying on you, honestly

We are not spying on you, honestly

Dishonestly, however....

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Not sure if you're STILL running Windows XP? AmIRunningXP.com to the rescue!

hplasm
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Happy

Re: What does it say if you're running, say, Win98?

"Wake up, Neo. the Matrix has you. Follow the White Rabbit"

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Microsoft was 'willing' to buy WhatsApp says Bill Gates

hplasm
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Linux

“When you have a lot of money, it allows you to go down a lot of dead ends,”

TIKFKAM

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O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Friday is Pi Day

hplasm
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Re: I prefer to celebrate Pie day.

Pi day? e! (by gum)

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SATANIC 'HELL DIAMOND' tells of sunless subterranean sea

hplasm
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Angel

Re: Satanic??

It's come up from beneath- where Satan lives.

With Saddam.

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BuzzGasm: 9 Incredible Things You Never Knew About PLIERS!

hplasm
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Re: needle nose mole grips

Nothing better for those tricky star-nosed moles...

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hplasm
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Coat

A lot of moaning about this article...

Must be from software 'engineers'...

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Brawling neighbours challenge 'quiet' cul-de-sac myth

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: Uh ...

"Cul-de-sacs are legendarily considered peaceful havens of tranquility"

...until you try to dare to park in one...

curtain twitching begins...

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Five unbelievable headlines that claim Tim Berners-Lee 'INVENTED the INTERNET'

hplasm
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Pirate

Re: Protocol breakdown by traffic

nmap

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Macs ARE PCs.

Most 'users' call it 'The hard drive'... grr.

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Satisfy my scroll: El Reg gets claws on Windows 8.1 spring update

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Windows 9?

Unless Win 9 is tomorrow's Vista.

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NASA to programmers: Save the Earth and fatten your wallet

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: If my algorithm finds a solid gold asteroid...

Certainly- just as the price of gold crashes...

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X marks the... They SAID there was a mystery planet there – NASA

hplasm
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Alien

Of course it's not there-

It swanned off to Alderaan...

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Why can’t I walk past Maplin without buying stuff I don’t need?

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Matrix Broad?

Veroboard, you insensitive clod!

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hplasm
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Re: Arrghgghghghg MAAPLIIIIIIIIIIIN

I think that was Arthur C Clarke, Tales of the White Hart - but I could be wrong.

If I am, just read that anyway- it's well worth it!

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hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Two way adapters

"...if you ask her where she's put it, wherever she says, it will not be there."

What- you don't get "I haven't touched it." Even if if you saw her with it?

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Blighty teen boffin builds nuclear reactor INSIDE CLASSROOM

hplasm
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Re:Molesworth/Peason atom smasher

Apply the boost! Flog the reactor!

Why did i not marry a mekanic, etc?

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hplasm
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Boffin

"...will any of those do?"

No, they are mine. I have dibs.

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