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* Posts by hplasm

2403 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Inventor whips lenscap off 3D-printed pinhole camera

hplasm
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Happy

I had one of these-

But it cost 50p and squirted water out of the hole when you squeezed it.

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Horrific FLESH-EATING PLATYPUS once terrorised Australia

hplasm
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Go

Now it's here!

Selling banking- run!

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Galaxy is CRAMMED with EARTH-LIKE WORLDS – also ALIENS (probably)

hplasm
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Re: BOFFINS: BILLIONS OF EARTH-LIKE LIFE-FRIENDLY ALIEN WORLDS IN GALAXY

"... Itanium; it is NOT in the periodic table of elements."

oddly, neither is Euphonium- the element all 'brass' instruments are made of...

Perhaps they are more common on these other Earths?

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iPad Air BARES ALL, reveals she's a high maintenance lady

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Is there anybody who approves of this?

"...but glue is lighter than any fastener that would stand the strain."

If Apple was as smart as they like people to think they are, then they would design clips to hold everything together that are part of the case and fittings, strong and light, and would be seen as elegant solutions.

Instead- bodge it with glue like a 4-year old's macaroni picture.

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SR-71 Blackbird follow-up: A new TERRIFYING Mach 6 spy-drone bomber

hplasm
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Black Helicopters

Re: For this aircraft to be built....

"...it will need a justification. A justification in terms of a threat."

A threat like refusing the US any more credit?

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iPad Air not very hot: Apple fanbois SHUN London fondleslab launch

hplasm
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Meh

rather-

My old WiFi-only iPad 3 listed on eBay now for £250 give or take some.

Free postage.

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hplasm
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Meh

8am until 9am

was spent in the nearest coffee shop, talking about the new iPad.

And drinking latte.

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Snowden: Oh, PLEASE let me come to Germany and help Merkel with her phone

hplasm
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Trollface

Annoying Ac is annoying.

Nothing to say?

No?

Shut up.

J.J.Burnel

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Milky Way 'POPS PILLS and SNORTS GAS', insist boffins

hplasm
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Pirate

After the Galactic Coalescence-

Of the Smith Cloud and our own Galaxy, the rise of Boskonia was inevitable.

Space Pirates --->

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Mars defends: HUMANS to SEND UFO to Red Planet by 2016

hplasm
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Coat

Re: has to be

I couldn't eat a whole Mars...

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Nokia emerges smothered in red ink, manages to flog cheapo Windows Phones

hplasm
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Devil

Just hope-

they don't fail to Surface (RT).

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Three million Adobe accounts hacked? Sorry, make that 38 MILLION

hplasm
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Happy

Re: What's in a zero anyways?

Before you 'loose the cloud', at least be polite and open the window.

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Moto sets out plans for crafty snap-together PODULAR PHONES

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: That endoskeleton...

This will appeal to Tetris addicts then!

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Don't crack that Mac: Almost NOTHING in new Retina MacBook Pros can be replaced

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: Genuine Question:

Hot melt glue is the devil's jizz.

It's just not very good. Batteries might just fall out after a few years.

However, bear in mind the metal content of all of those screws - recyclers are interested in gold plating, for instance, and that can be microns thick.

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Is it barge? Is it a data center? Mystery FLOATING 'Google thing'

hplasm
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Pirate

Re: Less likely

"I haff a plan- an Escape Plan..."

/spoiler

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Please, PLEASE, Skype... Don't kill our apps and headsets, plead devs

hplasm
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Windows

An award has been awarded!

For the world's longest oxmoron-

"...an indispensable tool like any other MS Office tool"

unless you know otherwise!

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Ofcom: By 2017, even BUMPKINS will have superfast broadband

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Bumkins?

No, it's a small fluffy bum.

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Microsoft: You've got it all WRONG. It's Apple's iPad playing catch-up with our Surface

hplasm
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Devil

Re:Tell me, does the Surface still run Windows 8?

Up until the next upgrade...

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: literally

Seriously?

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hplasm
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Happy

Haha!

...rivals are now quivering in the shadow of the new Surface machines.

Trying not to laugh out loud...

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Microsoft: Ha ha, my Wall Street friends - THIS time the victory is OURS

hplasm
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Devil

Re:I. Just. Need. Shit. To. Work.

And now you have some.

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Hard-as-woodpecker-lips MOUSE GOBBLES live scorpion, LAUGHS off stings to face

hplasm
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Coat

Grasshopper Mouse-

Student of Mouster Po.

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SEX CRAZED FISH keeping hapless Southamptonites awake

hplasm
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Re: So teach them the words...

The fish hum because they are ... Surströmming!

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Capita splashes £57.5m on Eye-of-Sauron car-park watchdog biz

hplasm
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Devil

Can't wait for the ink to dry on this one.

Just before the Govt decide to make such Car-park CCTV illegal.

(If ever...)

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Surface 2 and iPad Air: Prepare to meet YOUR DOOM under a 'Landfill Android' AVALANCHE

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Fanboi is as fanboi does

FTA-

"Somewhat surprisingly, one problem highlighted by McKinsey was interoperability with some office documents. But it was clearly noted that a simple update on all Linux desktops to the latest versions of OpenOffice could fix that particular issue.

A second study last year by the consultancy group found that a shift to a pure Windows environment on the German Foreign Office's desktop computers would be costly and work-intensive"

Facts, eh. Just as inconvenient as 'OOXML is a Standard' Standards...

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hplasm
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Unhappy

I hope that-

is true for "pro-sumer" too.

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hplasm
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Gimp

Fanboi is as fanboi does

"...as the Germans found out when they tried the switch. Epic fail."

"A person who make a decision based on ideology or dogma is zealot aka "Fanboi"."

Yes, you do seem to fit the criteria of your own argument.

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: MS will win

"OOXML (an ISO standard no less)"

Don't make me laugh, Fanboi.

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hplasm
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Devil

Haha

Cheap good quality crap sells better than expensive low quality crap. Wow.

Apple still does well too with expensive high quality crap.

What was that word- fragmentation? Looks like MS has that to worry about, more than Android.

And landfill- another word that fits their disposable unloved slabs better than the competition.

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Anonymous and pals gather in support of girl at centre of rape case

hplasm
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Happy

Re: What a strange concept of pleasure you must have

"I can honestly say I've never enjoyed anything sufficiently to soil my underwear."

Then you have never had a decent curry.

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HAD IT with Planet Earth? There are 12 alien worlds left to try out

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Gravity

Probably the ones with a similar size and mass...

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Oz racehorse shod with 3D-printed titanium hoofwear

hplasm
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Happy

Re: If only someone had told them..

"This is one side of a horse. the other side is much the same."

N. Molesworth.

As any fule kno...

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Surface Pro 2: It's TOOL-PROOF and ultimately destined for LANDFILL

hplasm
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Coat

Re: haha

Well, it doesn't have many fans outside of it...

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HP CEO Whitman: We've built the PC that GOD wants

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Oh?

Well, gods don't run Windows.

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Microsoft boffins test rival 'Google Glass' geek goggles, say insiders

hplasm
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Devil

Re: The new Microsoft

"They will have been doing this for years."

What-

"...running round desperately (and badly) copying Google and Apple several years later."

Ah, true.

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Surface 2 MYSTERY: Haswell's here, so WHY the duff battery life?

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Ditch Windows, save the planet?

"Probably them all..."

That explains the state of the economy in a nutshell then...

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Bacteria-chomping phages could kill off HOSPITAL SUPERBUGS

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: One question...

Because each type of phage eats one type of bacteria- nothing like antibiotics.

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hplasm
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Facepalm

About time!

Someone has been holding back research on these.

Anyone wonder why?

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Windows 8.1: A bit square, sure, but WAIT! It has a Start button

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Just an idea

Right and wrong.

The future doesn't have Microsoft in it

If it did,it wouldn't be the future- just a bad and more expensive version of the past. .

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: No point in saying you like W8 around here.

You just get slagged off as a heretic...

It's official- Win 8 is a religion.

Fire at will!

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hplasm
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Linux

Re: Ashamed to say

Oh mmeier,

Pen, is envy?

Get a Mac or an A3 pad..Windows has no future in Germany.

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Ashamed to say

"Christ, these people who bitch about Win8 are computer illiterates."

And yet, not stupid enough to like it. Funny that,

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Annoying - and not the OS

"Stop whining! Enjoy the bounty."

Not where MS are trying to shove it.

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'Microsoft Word is a tyrant of the imagination'

hplasm
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Re: Mircosoft makes 'Productivity Software' sound like an xymoron

an xymoron - an idiot with a graph.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: A tard...

Perhaps he was channeling Troy Tempest?

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Windows 8.1: Read this BEFORE updating - especially you, IT admins

hplasm
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Windows

Re: No internet for the rest of the month ?

Come on, it's 2013, get a better OS provider

FTFY.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Microsoft Partner Downloads

Windows Servers running Windows Server?

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METEORITES, not MEN, are FROM MARS: NASA rover's shock discovery

hplasm
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Happy

Re: And the answer to the Ultimate Question...

Dougla?

There were more than one of him? Who knew...

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Ofcom flogs ex-military 4G spectrum, but ONLY the iPhone 5 can use it

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Frequencies on the up..

"... live or dead flesh - hopefully only the latter would be found in microwave ovens :-)"

Just wait a few minutes, then this is true for all cases...

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Samsung Galaxy Note 3: Once, twice, three times - a Very Large Phone™

hplasm
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Happy

Re: how RETRO

Don't let mmeier hear you say that...

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