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* Posts by hplasm

2572 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

SpaceX wins court injunction to block US Air Force buying Russian rockets

hplasm
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Happy

Re: I like Elon.

The irony of using the Govt embargo rules against the Govt.

Elon Musk is Irony Man.

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hplasm
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Meh

"What they have we don't need...."

If that was true, then you wouldn't need what they have...

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Microsoft's Azure cloud goes a bit wobbly in West Europe

hplasm
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Happy

DaaS

Downtime as a Service.

Continuing Innovation from Microsoft.

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Fix capitalism with floating cities on Venus says Charles Stross

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Good ideas Need cash

We need more Elon Musks and fewer Donald Trumps.

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New .london domains touted tomorrow amid usual tech hypegasm

hplasm
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Coat

Re: why .london instead of...

"Surely .nodnol would be for a Bulgarian site?"

surely that would be .8008135 ... if they had numbers...

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94% of Brit tech bosses just can't get the staff these days, claims bank

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Hard to get the staff?

"The punctuation in that ad would stop me applying."

The punctuation in that ad is the only attractive thing about it.

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Can't get the staff

They want contractors; then they can screw them.

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Microsoft forms 'Special Projects' black ops team

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Surely this is just Microsoft Research under a different name?

"Given that Google is developing the self-driving automobile"

But MS have had the self-crashing computer for ages...

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Huh?

And don't forget OOXML...

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Google's self-driving car breakthrough: Stop sign no longer a problem

hplasm
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Devil

Re: 700,000 miles

Deploy missiles...

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Chap builds mobe based on Raspberry Pi

hplasm
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Happy

re:"*If you want contributions to the hacking of electronics;"

Do you live near Jake?

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Look behind you, 'declining' sub-$5bn iPod. The iWatch has come... to EAT YOU

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Trouble with the ipod is, most everyone who wants one, has got one apparently.

Then again, I've long dreamed of that laser projector built into my wristwatch... (zap!!!)

FTFY

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DeSENSORtised: Why the 'Internet of Things' will FAIL without IPv6

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: is this what.....

"the decimalisation debate was like back in the 60's....?"

no, it's more like proposing the opposite- or changing from metric back to imperial measures...

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RIP net neutrality? FCC mulls FAST LANES for info superhighway

hplasm
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Megaphone

Re: A Very Strong Stink of Corruption

"There is a vital alternative media on the Internet"

For now- they will be the first targets of the New Media.

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Tooled-up Ryobi girl takes nine-inch grinder to Asus beach babe

hplasm
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Happy

Re: It's the pliers versus side-cutters polemic all over again.

She's clearly using a Chacka Demus, then.

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So, just how do you say 'the mutt's nuts' in French?

hplasm
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Happy

Re: How about in Thai?

ไข่หมา - literally meaning 'egg dog'

With noodles?

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Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise

hplasm
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Coat

Ah Kilkenny-

To be renamed 'South Park'...

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hplasm
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Alien

Re: @ Winkypoop @Don Jefe

"What's wrong with the Royal Family?"

That's a whole new kettle of worms.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Village?

Isn't a hamlet a baconated piglet?

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Oh no, Joe: WinPhone users already griping over 8.1 mega-update

hplasm
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Devil

Re: RTFM

TFM says This is a Developers Version.

Then- We've done as much as we can with it. See what you can fix for us. Thanks. MS.

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Apple fanbois eat static as Beeb, Sky web stream vids go titsup on iOS

hplasm
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Meh

Re: At the risk of being downvoted

"...just as long as it works for them"

So not at the moment then?

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Microsoft reissues Windows 8.1 Update for enterprise customers

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Windows 8.x is used in the enterprise?

Yes, but only the one with Captain Archer.

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You want an IT course? Welcome to QA Training's Week of Free

hplasm
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Happy

" Microsoft best kept ITPro secret: SCOrch"

Hahahah... Nice one.

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Windows 8.1, which you probably haven't upgraded to yet, ALREADY OBSOLETE

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Waitwhat?

In other news: Win9 ALREADY obsolete!

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You use Office 365, SQL Server or Azure, right? Great, you're invited to Microsoft's data insights

hplasm
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Meh

There are a lot of these MS 'Insights'

Do they all end with "Exit through the bridge shop"?

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Be prepared... for your Scouts-loving sprog to become tiny spin doctor

hplasm
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Facepalm

New motto!

B-Ark Prepared!

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SpaceX Falcon tests HOVERCRAFT tech – despite ISS outage

hplasm
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Happy

Re: At last!

And a checkered band- it needs a checkered band, just below the nose cone!

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Spy-happy Condoleezza Rice joins Dropbox board as privacy adviser

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: What's the big deal?

Got a toilet door, AC?

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USB reversible cables could become standard sooner than you think

hplasm
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Happy

Re: 100W?

I want a USB oven!

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Re:the bottom of the port

Which might be on the left, or the right hand side..or the top; which may be underneath.

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Anatomy of OpenSSL's Heartbleed: Just four bytes trigger horror bug

hplasm
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Windows

Re: A bug in a library is always worse, but...

"Who in their right mind is still running web sites on Windows 2000?"

Who in their right mind is still running web sites on Windows ?

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Solar-powered aircraft unveiled for round-the-world flight

hplasm
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Boffin

re:That's why the top speed is limited to 86MPH

To avoid time-travel problems!

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Moody Planes

It's not gravity, it's the ground trying to kill you.

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Ancient Earth asteroid strike that dwarfed dinosaur killer still felt today

hplasm
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Joke

Re: Wiped out species in existence?

"... they would have been clustered around smokers in the deep ocean..."

So after the apocalypse, life will begin again outside offices and in shelters outside of pubs.

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UFO, cosmic ray or flasher? NASA rules on Curiosity curiosity

hplasm
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Alien

Re: "or similar..."

Sadly the other camera fell right in the dark centre of the other of the two luminous rings,which were briefly projected at the rover from a strange rocky projection on the far hilltop.

Together with the luminous circles was a very deep audio signal that was also unfortunately missed by the onboard microphone, apparently wittering on about something concerning 'Mysterons' or some such gibberish... probably just the Martian wind...

Now back to NASA spokesperson, Captain Black, in Mission Control.

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Internet is a TOOL OF SATAN that destroys belief, study claims

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Alleluia, he's Saved!

Repeat after me:- The Web is not The Net.

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Beat it, freetards! Dyn to shut down no-cost dynamic DNS next month

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Meh.

I had the free service- it worked, then stopped.

I started again, and paid. It stopped working. I contacted them.

Nothing happened.

I gave up on Dying DNS.

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NASA's LADEE: A Great Gig in the Sky, now on a death dive to the Dark Side of the Moon

hplasm
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Re: yes, I do know vacuum cleaners don't function in, er, vacuum.

But they do... clean it, right?

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Five-year-old discovers Xbox password bug, hacks dad's Live account

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Good on the kid for figuring this out, but

Isn't that the same technique that gave us TIFKAM?

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Nothing's as SCARY as an overly aggressive SOFTWARE PIMP

hplasm
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WTF?

Re:"Try them both on a 13" retina display..."

You have 13" eyes? Are you a squid?

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In three hours, Microsoft gave the Windows-verse everything it needed

hplasm
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Windows

Re: None of this changes anything

"We are not the modern equivalent of car-fiddling 20 somethings who brag about tiny inconsequential tweaks that took hours to sort out."

So stop installing 3d party fixes for W8's shortcomings and bragging about it.

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BEHOLD the HOLY GRAIL of TECH: The REVERSIBLE USB plug

hplasm
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Happy

Re: We have all experienced Schrödinger's USB stick

All cables have the plug on upside-down. It's a natural law.

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Puking! protester! forces! Yahoo! 'techie! scum!' to! ride! vile! bile! barf! bus! to! work!

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Die Techie Scum

Ha- beat me to it- German techno Band...

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Is this photo PROOF a Windows 7 Start Menu is coming back?

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: Please make it optional... some people aren't idiots

Original desktop too hard for some people, it seems; love W8...

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Back off, Siri! Microsoft debuts Halo beauty Cortana

hplasm
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Devil

Re: You MS haters are amusing!

MS- you are just being Siri now.

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hplasm
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Meh

"Cortana is powered by Bing,"

Holly has an IQ of 5000.

We all know how that turned out.

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El Reg's Deep Outback XP upgrade almost foiled by KILLER ARACHNIDS

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Just to be pedantic

So- are the leggy fuckers toxic, or not?

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Hotmail-gate: Windows 8 code leaker pleads guilty to theft of trade secrets

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Russian national?

" Which will look amazingly like Win 8.1 but without the suck."

The look is a major part of the suck. It is tightly integrated...

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How Microsoft can keep Win XP alive – and WHY: A real-world example

hplasm
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Linux

Re: WHY because Why waste that old Hardware, its bad for Planet Earth.

"Can Ubuntu control a lathe?"

Yes, it can.

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