* Posts by hplasm

3148 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Dormant ALIEN SLIME LIFE frozen in SPEEDING comet will AWAKEN - boffins

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: This whole panspermia idea...

"I think life is created inside stars."

It's life, Nom, but not as we know it.

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: This whole panspermia idea...

"Life almost certainly evolved on earth."

Ah- you're confusing and conflating 'started' and 'evolved' Even the godsquads get a look-in on that error..

1
1

Export control laws force student to censor infosec research

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Security by Obscurity wins out again,

"We would be better off restricting ^H^H^H^H^H encouraging the export of mentally retarded law makers..."

Surely...

6
0

Another day, ANOTHER Windows 10 build for us Insiders

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Special???

"... Surely most visitors will know what an ISO file is, and what to do with it?"

If they are that desperate, perhaps not...

1
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Microsoft Wi-Fi

"... the Skype brand."

isn't that doomed by Murdoch Inc?

3
0

Looking forward to getting Windows 10 the day it ships? Yeah, about that...

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Be the first in your street to own Windows 10!

...so get it now, and get the arrows in your front!

4
0

Azure Australia went TITSUP for about seven hours

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Well...

Azure IS the colour of a sky without clouds in it...

1
0

Microsoft rushes out latest Windows 10 build. 300 fixes? Pff, whatever

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Dear Microsoft

"When you are dammed if you do and dammed if you don't, maybe you should just do what you think is best..."

i.e. Go to Hell, Microsoft?

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Old is new

" when the glitter wears off and they discover the chocolate inner..."

...is brown, but isn't chocolate...

9
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: How can this be?

"You apparently have the same broken Caps Lock key problem as Eadon..."

Probably a Win 10 significant_unknown_error

1
2

Rise of the Machines: ROBOT KILLS MAN at Volkswagen plant

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Tasteless

I find your username alarming...

/pot

1
0

Windows 7 and 8.1 market share surge, XP falls behind OS X

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: " the number "9" stands for hardship and suffering in some Asian cultures"

As does the word "Microsoft" in many Western ones.

9
3

Linux Mint 17.2: If only all penguinista desktops were done this way

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Goodness.

If Windows 10 gets anything near this positive a review on ANY tech site next month - bias or not I'll show your arse in ASDA.

5
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

"...the penguins who flood every article about windows"

Have probably used and suffered Windows.

Still a good satire though...

9
0

Microsoft: This Windows 10 build has 'NO significant known issues'

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Hallelujah - File Explorer's file path limit is not 256 any more !

"Microsoft Stool"

Is that the internal codename for Win 10, like "Longhorn" etc?

I like it!

4
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Angel

Re: Hallelujah - File Explorer's file path limit is not 256 any more !

"That path length is substantially more than required to give a seperate folder to every atom in the universe..."

What!? Just one...? Not very far thinking, that.

edit:- What!? Just one universe...? Not very far thinking, that either!.

3
0

Universal Credit white elephant needs 'urgent breakthrough' says MP

hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

So many white elphants in Whitehall now.

An ivory sale could cancel the national debt.

9
0

Windows 10 is due in one month: Will it be ready?

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Linux on the Desktop "just works"? .

"I understand the things I use all the time and thus can easily get them working to my satisfaction."

Not a Win 10 user, then?

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

QOTW right here!

"I wouldn't trust Microsoft's updates as far as I could spit a lightly fried stoat in a bun..."

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Gimp

" Why would you even be remotely interested in reading a Windows 10 thread?"

Apple aren't staging a 'queue round the block' release for their zombie crew at the moment.

0
0

Abort, abort! Metal-on-metal VIOLENCE as Google's robo-car nearly CRASHES

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Road Network (LACP)

Use full duplex- "where we;re going, we don't need lanes!" at least no more than one, for both directions ...

0
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Highly suprising

Even the automated Audi dosn't have working indicators. Bet the factory just leaves the unused wiring out now to save money...

8
0

Microsoft's new mission statement: It's all about doing MAGICAL THINGS

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: We came in peace for all mankind.....

"We stand in awe of what humans dare to achieve"

We have the gall to charge you for this pile of glittercaque, and we dare you to buy it!

1
0

Microsoft's magic hurts: Nadella signals 'tough choices' on the way

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Old rant...

"Microsoft: Do One Thing Well."

Yes they do. Take money for old rope.

10
1

BOFH: Don't go changing on Friday evenings, I don't wanna work that hard

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Reach out...

Reach out and punch face...

/D-mode

6
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Its a small change!

"I don't understand...."

Simple - no changes on a Friday, because you have to deal with the fallout on Monday.

Pre-booked *annual-leave somewhere inacessable, on the other hand...

* it pays to keep up with the Change Management schedule, well in advance :)

1
0

SpaceX to blast Microsoft's HoloLens visors into SPAAAAACE

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Hmpf!

""Remote Expert Mode" will link the astronauts via Skype to technicians on the ground, who will then be able to see what's going on in the ISS and draw annotative notes that can be used to guide repairs (for example)."

"Remote Expert Mode" will sometimes link the astronauts via Skype to technicians on the ground, when the stars are right, who will then occasionally be able to see what's going on in the ISS, but sometimes just hear noises accompanied by what seems to be a slowly changing picture from the lunar surface circa Apollo 11, and then draw annotative notes that could be used to guide repairs if they were not strangely locked in sharepoint, and have to be retrieved from the Russian or Chinese (or Brazillian) space scientists whose governments got them from the NSA backup (for example).

FTFT...

0
0

Samsung caught disabling Windows Update to run its own bloatware

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Solution

What!? And let all the Winfans get their grubby mitts all over it!!!???!! 1111tyone!

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Surprise, surprise, surprise

"good, and for the 99.99% of the rest of the world who are not Techies?"

They won't be reading this...

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Pint

Re: solution?

You READ the EULA ?

Have another pint!

1
0

Killer ChAraCter HOSES almost all versions of Reader, Windows

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Quote from Wikipedia:

"I like the way you think but actually it's "straw"."

Mostly horseshit then?

3
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Compared to this...

"Good try but ..."

I think you need to read it again, perhaps?

Compared to this, Heartbleed IS but a fleshwound...

/whoosh

3
2
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Compared to this...

Heartbleed? Tis but a fleshwound.

8
2

Wake up, sheeple! If you ask Siri about 9/11 it will rat you out to the police!

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: I clicked on the article. You won't believe what happened next!

Did he shit bricks?

0
0

Amazon enrages authors as it switches to 'pay-per-page' model

hplasm
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Use Large Fonts.

The original 'word count' used by publishers was 1 page per 250 words of 10pt Courier.

Many other 'standards' now exist...

1
0

This whopping 16-bit computer processor is being built by hand, transistor by transistor

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Really?

"Some people have far too much spare time and money on their hands!"

Yes, and spend them on Sky TV and paying for footy millionaire's cars.

4
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Yes!

I seem to remember a ladybird book ( I think) with a computer made from wood and OC71 germanium transistors, and some dairy/milk Co series* of many-how to booklets that did the same sort of thing.

Where are these sort of things now...?

*can't find them on Goog - they were thin, square and white, with blue titles etc.

0
0

SpaceX gets ready to crash barge-land ANOTHER rocket

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

"... hole in the middle of the Round House."

TB3...

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

"...WITHOUT BURNING ANY OF THE DECK CHAIRS."

Version 3...

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Joke

re:Thunderbirds Are GO

That's version 2.

(Not V2, that lands much harder on the house)

1
0

RBS sticks it to customers once again as IT woes continue

hplasm
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Won't all of these cock-ups

drop the share price to a suspiciously low level.

Just before the Govt sells them off...

13
0

Microsoft sez soz over Windows 10 'freebie' balls-up

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Free for a year

Then turns (back) into a pumpkin.

7
1

Anakin Skywalker chased by cops, crashes podracer into tree

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Whilst driving-

was the defendant heard to say "Wheee!" ?

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

"...Jar jar binks was shot and killed in a 7-11 robbery."

Nothing to see here, move along. Move along."

/waves hand.

7
0

Police robot duo storm Colorado house, end four-day siege

hplasm
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Why did they want to re-arrest him?

Beacuse nobody was home to look after him???

6
0

Microsoft U-turns on 'free' Windows 10 upgrade promise for ALL previewers

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

"You can happily use Windows"

Citation needed.

9
0

Sun like it hot: Philae comet probe wakes up, phones home again

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Not Necking Celery

just hope they DO find a black obelisk.....

FTFY

0
0

Open-source Linux doesn't pay, said no one ever at Red Hat

hplasm
Silver badge
Gimp

Re: Even if it doesn't pay.

"...If you can't deal with change...waahhh"

SystemD is like paying in Euro and getting your change in Peso.

11
2

Raspberry Pi guys want you to go topless in the heat

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Why the long decision process?

yum toast, or yum dead-badger?

0
0

Sharing Economy latest: Women's BREAST MILK is the new 'liquid GOLD' of the internet

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Mmm...

Pull the udder one...

1
0

Forums