Feeds

* Posts by hplasm

2598 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Windows 8 'bad' for desktop users - Gartner's one-word review

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Balmers Reaction?

Isn't he still busy killing Google?

4
0

Microsoft promises Metro developers 'fame and fortune'

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Bloody stdents.

Get a Job's product.

(I jest!)

1
0

Where there's brass, silver and gold ... there's also muck

hplasm
Silver badge
Boffin

Re: horse shit cubes?

Feed them on oaty bars.

1
0

Ocean-seeding experiment re-ignites geo-engineering debate

hplasm
Silver badge
Pint

Re: Do it

You attitude intrigues me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

0
1

Home Office doc 'not qualified' to assess McKinnon suicide risk

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

When

is your debut?

1
0

Expert: EU Microsoft competition fine could reach $7bn

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

I'm fed up with this crap too

But they keep selling new and crappier versions that are holding back progress.

0
0

Raspberry Pi rolls out speed surge Raspbian OS

hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Daft twats

You were shifting an empty box hence box-shifter.

Christ.

What do you use the bloody Arduino for without other stuff? Scratching your arse?

Get back under the bridge,dozy twat.

Bloody Arduino lovers, worse than Dremel fanbois.

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Bill Smith

You're just a box-shifter then?

3
0

WTF is... WiGig

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: More importantly...

wigigigigig.

Like bananananana

0
0

Ice island snaps off Greenland: Just a fifth the size of 1962 whopper

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: The Register needs a filtering system

The Register needs a filtering system for trolls at least.

6
0

McDonalds staff 'rough up' prof with home-made techno-spectacles

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Hey, it's international cuisine alright

Merde Grand- inna bun.

1
1

iPhone 5 to be skinniest Apple yet SHOCK

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: I could not care less

1.5D graphics. They're so thin!

0
0

Microsoft 'didn't notice' it had removed Browser Choice for 17 months

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Which joyless wankers

If IE brings you joy, you are a sad fucker indeed.

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: BDG

Strange though it may be, there is a certain truth in what you say...

1
0

Nasa guides Mars Rover with Kinect

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

RROD?

Isn't this already built in?

1
0

E-Cat pitching cold fusion to Australians

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Buy one-

and prove it to us, then.

2
1

Raspberry Pi used as flight computer aboard black-sky balloon

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Wind blows in wrong direction.....

Yeah- it might make a nasty POP!

0
0

Seize your moment, Microsoft: iPad is RUBBISH for enterprise

hplasm
Silver badge
FAIL

Meet Richto-

The Win8 of MS trolls.

1
1

Door creaks and girl farts: computing in the real world

hplasm
Silver badge
Gimp

Is it me...

or are there a lot of snarky barista types on here today?

I'll have a black coffee, with milk- when you can spare a minute from pouting.

2
0

Computer error triggers mass rocket launch

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Visible from the moon?

So *thats* what happens when you press the 'TURBO' button on the PC...

2
0

Numbers don't lie: Apple's ascent eviscerates Microsoft

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Why Paris?

You can, but you have to remove her ports to do so.

0
0

Ten... alien invasions

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Daleks – Invasion Earth: 2150 A.D.

London never really recovered from the 2012 Olympics...

/retcon

0
0

Boffins pull off room-temp quantum computing with home-grown gems

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Will they

Not unless they want the data to be corrupt.

1
0

Bill Gates: iPad is OK, but what Apple really needs is a SURFACE

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: The crucial question...

Will it Surface, or Dive?

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Go

Re: He's dead wrong...

Indeed; Nobody knows what the next BigThing will look like- but it won't be a 'Surface-like Device.'.

2
0

Japan Anonymous aims to fight download law by picking up litter

hplasm
Silver badge
WTF?

Re: Anti-nuclear?

No nuclear power, no cyber networks to attack. Seems a little at cross-purposes to me...

1
0

iPhone spontaneously combusts on CCTV

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Li-Ion is so last century

I was going to get a Higgs Boson battery for my phone, but it was massive!

0
0

GPS spoofing countermeasures: Your smartphone already has them

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: The Rise of the Neo-Luddites

My map is mostly blank, apart from a 'X' and some text at the bottom about 'here be monsters'.

Could be Seattle, could be Cupertino; can't tell.

2
0

CERN catches a glimpse of Higgs-like boson

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Gazillions

Doesn't the M25 already have an accelerator for Evil particles built into it?

4
0

Do you work in IT at RBS? Or at the next place to get hit ...?

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Help your manager look good?

If you haven't worked in Banking, you won't understand...

3
0

Dimming the lights on smart(arse) TV

hplasm
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: All those functions?

True, so true.

Netflix makes it worse.

0
0

Half the team at the heart of the RBS disaster WERE in India

hplasm
Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: Reeks of Daily Fail

The problem being is that the Execs ARE plug-compatible empty suits. That's why they can fuck up, fuck off and wander into a new position and carry on.

Kill them all with fire.

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: in management terms

But IT guys can talk shit too!

0
0

Obama is best Pres 'to beat alien invasion'

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: most US voters?

Most US voters think they sneak over the border.

2
0

Ministers consult public on 'opt in for smut' plans

hplasm
Silver badge

Re: I like the idea!

Party political sites should be banned anyway.

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: If I don't opt in for smut-

Well, at least it will put a stop to advertising it as 'Unlimited'...

Yes, of course it will......

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Stop

If I don't opt in for smut-

Will I only have to pay 1/1000 of the normal price for the full internet connection?

13
0

Microsoft to open UK retail store early next year

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Good News!

Somewhere to get refunds!

9
0

Microsoft's offices gutted in Athens arson attack

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Proof

That the Greeks really don't like Metro.

10
0

Be co-founder mows BT's long grass in bid for fibre success

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

"...annoyed being called BT Openreach...."

Usually referred to as BT Opencrotch in these parts...

(Used to be Openwound/ world)

0
0

Raspberry Pi to skipper microship across Atlantic

hplasm
Silver badge
Pirate

Pirates!

They will board it and add a huge disk array full of goodies and a sat link. Yarr!

4
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Itanium

The SS Itanic ?

Awesome... perhaps not.

0
1

Microsoft's Surface plan means the world belongs to Android now

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Many people saying Android has failed on tablets..

"Hmmm, cause nobody wants to buy it. That is typically how you judge a product as a failure...."

So much for Win8 and surface then.

7
0

'Inexperienced' RBS tech operative's blunder led to banking meltdown

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: You get what you pay for

In this case, bigger yachts for the execs, smaller UK payroll for staff.

22
0

Mensch pal Bozier defends Menshn security, dubs critics 'snippy geeks'

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: "Oops! Google Chrome could not connect to menshn.com"

Oo- it's back- now reports:- "Your browser is too modern- please download IE6 or earlier."

4
0

Blighty laid bare as historic aerial snaps archive goes online

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Re. Mystery Location

Giant Moth.

So it must be Tokyo.

Oh, wait...

0
0

Are you a hot BABE in heels and a short skirt? SCIENCE is for YOU

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re:When I read that...

See- the adverts for PaedoTerrorGeddon are working! Stay away from the Daily Mail etc as much as you can and try to breathe slowly...

0
0

Samsung to probe Galaxy S III blaze claim

hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: The area that burned up

It doesn't charge via the USB? Pray tell more...

0
0

Surface: Because Microsoft does so well making hardware?

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Re: Joerg

To be fair, it seems that MS have managed to replicate Apple's most elusive product when it comes to the Surface- The Jobsian Reality Distortion Field.

0
0

Amount of meat we eat will barely affect future climate change

hplasm
Silver badge
IT Angle

Re:IT angle?

2 degrees- see TFA.

0
0