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* Posts by hplasm

2403 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Hands on with the Apple iPad 3

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Ports?

You are considering purchasing a practicing homosexual for a friend?

How kind!

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: non standard Apple 2048 x 1536 V a real Samsung WQXGA panel at 2560 x 1600, no contest

True.

Perhaps Adequate is adequate for Apple?

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Nuke clock incapable of losing time chimes with boffins

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: A measure

This should have been a reply to "What is a Jedward?"

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hplasm
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Happy

A measure

of extreme density.

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LYING iPhone 4S mobes claim 4G connection on 3G network

hplasm
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Gimp

Reality-

Is merely being distorted.

It's not that big of a deal.

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Ofcom probes deeper, wider in BSkyB 'fit and proper' test

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Probe and probe hard!

Any whilst their eyes are still watering, get someone to hack their phones.

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Top Brit authors turn flamethrowers on barmy IPO

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Abso-bloody-lutely

Why don't you just do it then?

Oh- lack the talent, perhaps; they say that everyone has a novel in them...but that's where 99% of them should stay.

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Warp drives are PLANET KILLERS, Sydney Uni students find

hplasm
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Just proves Niven's idea

That any good space drive also makes a good weapon.

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Citrix drops Rush Limbaugh over 'slutgate' slurs

hplasm
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Devil

First Citrix drop him.

Hopefully SpaceX , Virgin Galactic or NASA can drop him soon. Literally , and onto someone who deserves it.

Odious Bastard.

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Tony Blair closes RSA 2012, denounces WikiLeaks

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Wow

Now you have achieved enlightenment, Grasshopper, try to imagine this infinitely larger.

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Metro breakdown! Windows 8 UI is little gain for lots of pain

hplasm
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Windows

Re: And here come the OSX and Linux users...

Missionaries?Don't flatter yourself. Nobody is interested in Windows castoffs, not even fanboys.

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hplasm
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Linux

Re: You can turn metro off

The trouble with Windows is it seems you can't do much without messing about in the command line...

tsk!

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Windows 8: Sugar coating on Microsoft's hard-to-swallow tablet

hplasm
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Hard to swallow?

New virtual keyboard here please!

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hplasm
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Re: Microsoft Tiles™

Doors? You get to things behind doors... It might make more sense.

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Microsoft's Azure cloud down and out for 8 hours

hplasm
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Happy

Azure Screen

Of Death.

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Child abuse suspect won't be forced to decrypt hard drive

hplasm
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Trollface

Re: Re: what

You have it in for rappers now?

Troll.

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Death to Office or to Windows - choose wisely, Microsoft

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: How rude can the loosing set get?

What has been loosed can be tightened.

But seriously, it's so good to hear from a real live expert; good job you came along when you did.

Do stick around, I'm certain that we can organise a collection from the grateful.

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Hey Commentard! - or is that Commenter?

hplasm
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Happy

Re: We're all special now

Where does that leave Special Ops personnel?

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hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Push back the limits

I agree! Down with Handwringing Tuttards!

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: 3rd option?

In with the other cheerleader stuff? Have you tried the pompom locker?

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hplasm
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Trollface

Re: Freetard and Commentard are very appropriate

Aha! Trolltard!

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hplasm
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Boffin

Re: Commenterino

Didn't you post this tomorrow?

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hplasm
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FAIL

Ah, I see- you dont Understand....

Just say you don't get it then. No shame in that.

Or are you just being Victor Mature?

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NASA sniffs little black hole's 20-million-MPH wind

hplasm
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Happy

Re: 'Black' holes... Does high school physics say they shouldn't be black?

Pictures or I can't picture it!

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hplasm
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WTF?

Space is big- really big.

Even bigger than Texas.

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Labour targets Tories' Google problem

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Bing...

Yes, there is Bing- perhaps that's just what she meant.

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Spitzer spots first solid buckyballs in stellar disc

hplasm
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Happy

Hmm- the sign says-

"Caution! Things at work. Heavy Planets Crossing. Ringworld under construction."

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OPERA grabs spanner, fixes kit, and slows down neutrinos

hplasm
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Unhappy

Let me be amongst the first to say-

Oh Bugger.

...and now back to the X-Factor.

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CRACK made by quakes FOUND ON MOON

hplasm
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Happy

Hot Soup!

Dragons!

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Squirrelled away: seeds survive 30,000-year winter

hplasm
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Happy

Aha!

Tesco has been selling this fruit for ages!

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Pirate Bay AND its users violate labels' copyright - judge

hplasm
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FAIL

First they came for the copyright infringers-

And nobody said anything much.

Then they came for the trolls, and everyone cheered.

Anonymous internet tough guys- sound like pirates to me...

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Canadians revolt over draconian internet privacy bill

hplasm
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Big Brother

The ISPs need to-

disconnect the Govt- surely they have the 'right to refuse service' like any shopkeep etc?

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Boffins claim breakthrough in hovering robothopter experiments

hplasm
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Happy

poo!

Flying middens!

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hplasm
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Pirate

Me too

I would like a mighty 'thoptercraft!

How else can I get down from the most powerful weapon in the universe?

Yrs,

Stanley H Tweedle

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Space: 1999 returning to TV?

hplasm
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Stop

CHiPs...

Careful now...

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hplasm
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Coat

...That's no Moon!

sorry.

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hplasm
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Happy

I must agree-

Bain and Landau always seemed to come as a matched pair after that,no matter what the programme was. I think they were married eventually(?), but it did tend to spoil things, knowing the other one would turn up sooner or later. Shame really,as Mr Landau was quite interesting in whatever part he played.

Rumour has it they came in a velvet lined presentation case...

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IT guy answers daughter's Facebook rant by shooting her laptop

hplasm
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FAIL

You can't be

seriouls?

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hplasm
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FAIL

FacebookIS blocked on her laptop.

Permanently.

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hplasm
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Devil

The 45 was missed out, sadly.

From the Windows toolbox article...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/02/09/windows_tools_of_the_trade_not_always_best_for_the_job/

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hplasm
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Happy

The hammer is only

in the Standard Issue IT toolkit.

He has the Delux.

/Don't fuck with the BOFH!

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IT crowd sorts out the Mars Science Lab

hplasm
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WTF?

Well, it's not rocket science....

And brain surgeons know little about semiconductors and CPU registers, so...

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Coming to a continent near you: America

hplasm
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Holmes

But of course, old bean-

One doesn't want to get too chummy with the neighbours.

PipPip!

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hplasm
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Happy

Half buried starship.

With the engine going, to restart the Earth's rotation...

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hplasm
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Happy

In the end-

Civilisation will arrive in the New World.

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What's in the box, Windows sysadmin?

hplasm
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Windows

It was about Tools for Windows admin...

Big Fucking Hammer.

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Greenpeace releases meaningless 'Cool IT' rankings

hplasm
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Devil

Just for balance...

I thought the pro- warming lot were the sheep-fondlers?

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Russians drill into buried 20 million-year-old Antarctic lake

hplasm
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Joke

Waiter! This ice cube's got a hole in it!

That's no ice cube Sir, that's my wife!

/boom *tish*

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hplasm
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Happy

Underwater fire!

That would be very cool...

(Perhaps the extra O2 would balance out the nasty CO2 we have to keep climbing over, so it's not all bad news!)

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hplasm
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Happy

"He actually wrote 'aaaaiiiiiiieeeeeee' did he?"

"Well....maybe he was dictating..."

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