Feeds

* Posts by hplasm

2569 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Do you work in IT at RBS? Or at the next place to get hit ...?

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Help your manager look good?

If you haven't worked in Banking, you won't understand...

3
0

Dimming the lights on smart(arse) TV

hplasm
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: All those functions?

True, so true.

Netflix makes it worse.

0
0

Half the team at the heart of the RBS disaster WERE in India

hplasm
Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: Reeks of Daily Fail

The problem being is that the Execs ARE plug-compatible empty suits. That's why they can fuck up, fuck off and wander into a new position and carry on.

Kill them all with fire.

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: in management terms

But IT guys can talk shit too!

0
0

Obama is best Pres 'to beat alien invasion'

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: most US voters?

Most US voters think they sneak over the border.

2
0

Ministers consult public on 'opt in for smut' plans

hplasm
Silver badge

Re: I like the idea!

Party political sites should be banned anyway.

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: If I don't opt in for smut-

Well, at least it will put a stop to advertising it as 'Unlimited'...

Yes, of course it will......

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Stop

If I don't opt in for smut-

Will I only have to pay 1/1000 of the normal price for the full internet connection?

13
0

Microsoft to open UK retail store early next year

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Good News!

Somewhere to get refunds!

9
0

Microsoft's offices gutted in Athens arson attack

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Proof

That the Greeks really don't like Metro.

10
0

Be co-founder mows BT's long grass in bid for fibre success

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

"...annoyed being called BT Openreach...."

Usually referred to as BT Opencrotch in these parts...

(Used to be Openwound/ world)

0
0

Raspberry Pi to skipper microship across Atlantic

hplasm
Silver badge
Pirate

Pirates!

They will board it and add a huge disk array full of goodies and a sat link. Yarr!

4
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Itanium

The SS Itanic ?

Awesome... perhaps not.

0
1

Microsoft's Surface plan means the world belongs to Android now

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Many people saying Android has failed on tablets..

"Hmmm, cause nobody wants to buy it. That is typically how you judge a product as a failure...."

So much for Win8 and surface then.

7
0

'Inexperienced' RBS tech operative's blunder led to banking meltdown

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: You get what you pay for

In this case, bigger yachts for the execs, smaller UK payroll for staff.

22
0

Mensch pal Bozier defends Menshn security, dubs critics 'snippy geeks'

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: "Oops! Google Chrome could not connect to menshn.com"

Oo- it's back- now reports:- "Your browser is too modern- please download IE6 or earlier."

4
0

Blighty laid bare as historic aerial snaps archive goes online

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Re. Mystery Location

Giant Moth.

So it must be Tokyo.

Oh, wait...

0
0

Are you a hot BABE in heels and a short skirt? SCIENCE is for YOU

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re:When I read that...

See- the adverts for PaedoTerrorGeddon are working! Stay away from the Daily Mail etc as much as you can and try to breathe slowly...

0
0

Samsung to probe Galaxy S III blaze claim

hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: The area that burned up

It doesn't charge via the USB? Pray tell more...

0
0

Surface: Because Microsoft does so well making hardware?

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Re: Joerg

To be fair, it seems that MS have managed to replicate Apple's most elusive product when it comes to the Surface- The Jobsian Reality Distortion Field.

0
0

Amount of meat we eat will barely affect future climate change

hplasm
Silver badge
IT Angle

Re:IT angle?

2 degrees- see TFA.

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re:Re: Only one number that really matters

You want him to shoot you- with your own gun? That's rather sporting of you!

2
2

Microsoft's uncloaks Phone 8 developer preview

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: iPhones 'are all fart and no poo'

All poo and a few fanbois...

1
0

IBM US nuke-lab beast 'Sequoia' is top of the flops (petaflops, that is)

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Don't be silly

Ok then- can it run Metro* and do more than two tasks?

/ducks and runs

* In a VM- I'm not that optimistic...

0
0

Linus Torvalds drops F-bomb on NVIDIA

hplasm
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Great now we have a child

A more tempered response, such as hurling chairs around?

< ---- That's you, that is.

19
3

Windows Metro Maoist cadres reach desktop, pound it flat

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: I like Aero

And me- I like the minty one.

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Don't care....

It won't matter- they are working toward full monochrome for the next release...

0
0

Another investor pulls out of Habbo Hotel after grooming claims

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: The plural of 'chaos'

Is 'Internets'

2
0

Reborn UK internet super-snooper charter to be unveiled today

hplasm
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: "No Ms Harmon..."

hard to tell the difference, really...

8
0

Torvalds splits 2012 Millennium Technology Prize with gene scientist

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Dont get it

Who? BillG?

0
0

Blighty's new anti-bribe law will do more HARM than good

hplasm
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: Oh for god's sake

Ok- go for it.

. And don't forget to save the slush fund to replace the kit the now 'non-offended' dock workers have 'accidentally' dropped in the ocean.

It may not be gentlemanly conduct, but some people aren't gentlemen, and greasy-palmed officials doubly so.

7
0

Hitchhiker shot while researching 'Kindness of America'

hplasm
Silver badge
Pirate

Re: Nice strereotype.

Defence against gun carriers?

5
0

Windows is the OS of the cloud, says Microsoft

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

I've seen used dog food before.

Such an apt description of what they do at Redmond.

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: In all fairness...

The way it's going, soon the spelling will be Micro¢oft.

Happy?

8
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Linux

Windows is the OS of the Cloud

Where 'Cloud' is a subset of 'Fog'.

11
0

NASA cuts inspire 'Planetary Exploration Car Wash & Bake Sale'

hplasm
Silver badge
Unhappy

Sad.

Odd how this never needs to happen when there are people that need 'Democracy' dropping on them.

Or

prayers to be rented.

9
2

You know what Google needs? Another Street View data-slurp probe

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Not this again

It's more like complaining that people are eavsdropping when shouting down a cellphone on the train.

8
4

Flying Dutchman creates dead cat quadcopter

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

What!!

Why would you rip your cat's balls off?

Why do you seek attention for your arsehole?

I suppose you would have no interest in a DeadKittyBlimp then...?

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Room for improvement

But it's already fitted with Catseyes!

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

#dogperson?

Is that like Manbearpig?

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: I've never eaten dead cat.

Think now. Can you be absolutely certain about that...?

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Credit due?

What!? Sir Elt passed up a chance to do Camel With The Wind one more time?

Blimey!

0
0

Windows 8: Not even Microsoft thinks businesses will use it

hplasm
Silver badge
Pint

Re: When does thing launch again? @Graham

Have one of these- even go want to do, like!

4
0

10m years ago there was less CO2 - but the Earth was WARMER

hplasm
Silver badge
FAIL

However-

Their spelling is better than yours...

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Trollface

Well your profile says

you started on Wednesday 16th May 2012 08:40 GMT.

2
1

Samsung Galaxy Tab 'a harmful drug', says Apple in ban bid fail

hplasm
Silver badge
Gimp

Wow.

What harmful drugs are Apple on to try that line?

17
0

Dual-screen, detachable and Windows 8 star at Computex

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Android apps on Windows

I hope quickly too. Android apps would only make W8 usable.

0
1

Oz has to go nuclear, says Adelaide U scientist

hplasm
Silver badge
Holmes

not enough water for cooling?

Don't use water. It's bad.

0
0

1930s photos show Greenland glaciers retreating faster than today

hplasm
Silver badge
Megaphone

Re: "So why the ad-hominems?"

It seems an increase in solar output leads to an increase in the number of arseholes.

I wish the sky would fall on the lot of them.

2
2

US officials confirm Stuxnet was a joint US-Israeli op

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Fukushima

Weak.

0
0