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* Posts by hplasm

2408 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Barclaycard site falls over, web payments impossible

hplasm
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Devil

Re: More 'cloud' fun

Not the cloud.

More like the way Barclays & Co treat their IT staff like sh1t.

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Indiana cops arrest violent 6-year-old

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Bah!

Lucky Barstards! We used to dream of having a school maggot pit...

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hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Bad position

"I come from a family of teachers, my farther(sic) was an inner city head. Let me assure you that we are all scared of the bullies and their families."

There- fixed up that particular situation for you.

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Linux Left 4 Dead port fuels Steam for Ubuntu talk

hplasm
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Happy

Finally-

You don't need Windows to start posts with "As a gamer..."

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Billionaire astro mining venture long on hype and timescale

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: using gravity to lift something has never worked, and never will...

Damn.

Time to get out of the hydro power business then...

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EU privacy body slams ACTA as 'unacceptable'

hplasm
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Pirate

re:PAEDOTERRORISTS

But- I wanted to be a Pirate!

Yarr!

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Theresa May: No emails sniffed in web super-snoop law

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: It's a win-win situation.

Only the cost of removing all bins in public places.

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Courier mishap sends woman's corpse to shopping club

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Instead of 'perishable', it should have said:

"Perished."

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Microsoft mulls backside display for mobiles

hplasm
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FAIL

As a protective case

This would probably last as long as a Kindle screen.

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Workers' comp covers sex-related injuries, judge rules

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Sex the same as playing cards

Yes it is-

Poker and brag.

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Metallic Glass iPhone 5 to battle pottery Samsung Galaxy S3

hplasm
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Happy

Re: iphone liquidmetal

Or machines for the simple?

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Office 365: Win a 25 seat, 12 mth license

hplasm
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Stop

Re: If you want to go Office...

Now I can see Ballmer in an afro wig...

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Microsoft tears the wraps off Windows 8 Enterprise

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Boot from USB?

But iPads don't have USB to boot from.... What? There are other BYODs?

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Techie stages 'strip down' protest at TSA 'harassment'

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Think of the children!

Don't let the cops grasp your title!

Caught by the fuzz.

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hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Google has all his personal info

Oh do piss off, Ellison.

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Nokia loses $1.7bn in Q1, sales chief falls overboard

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Heading in the right direction-

Which is down the plughole...

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Irish national telco gets 100 days to escape €4bn debt hell

hplasm
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Devil

1000 jobs to go?

From the deckhands, not those that drove the ship onto the rocks, one assumes.

As usual.

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Met issues mug-shot gallery mobe app to finger wanted crooks

hplasm
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Happy

The Nebulous Them

A fine 80's band!

/the rest is true also...

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Swiss, German physicists split the electron

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Hmm, I wonder what the fundamental particle of rabid control-freakery is called?

The Nannyon?

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hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Am I biting the hand that feeds it? Oh yes!

Pah!

The Register has been seperating trolls from bridges for years.

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Vodafone fights India's retrospective tax grab

hplasm
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Devil

Vodafone pay tax?

Who knew?

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Windows 8 diet exposes Microsoft's weak ARM

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: I imagine... all the people, living with Linux....

CAD? Isn't that for MACs...

Oh wait- OSX nix..

tit.

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: Windows is a brand, as you well know

Yes.

They brand cattle, not usually sheep though.

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hplasm
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Linux

Re: The Windows 8 Disaster.

A seperate OS?

Then why Windows Anything?

It should really have a different name.

Might I suggest LossDos?

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Moody's downgrades Nokia to near-junk status

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Well programmed robot sheep

I take it they are not the Microsoft ones then?

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Lesser-spotted Raspberry Pi FINALLY dished up

hplasm
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Happy

Re: It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

For serious computing you need a Carroty Bit.

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Himalayan glaciers actually GAINING ice, space scans show

hplasm
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Trollface

He does-

report on a lot of 'anti-science'.

Mainly about AGW.

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Star sacrifices 2,000 comets a DAY to cloak twin planets in dust

hplasm
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Unhappy

A bit too chilly

for Integral Trees.

Pity.

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Culture jammers connect Lego clones with 3D printer files

hplasm
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Meh

No Meccano?

Meh.

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FCO splashes millions on Johnny Foreigner's energy 'awareness'

hplasm
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Thumb Down

Re: God forbid

God forbid these things should be funded by anyone else but us! What would the neighbours think?

The Empire days are gone. Stop giving all our cash away to assuage a guilty conscience nobody actually has.

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Lords give automatic smut censorship bill the once-over

hplasm
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Happy

Re: as you can see the police state coming in now

Finally- the voice of reason.

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Vote now for the WORST movie EVER

hplasm
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FAIL

ORLY?

Google "Twilight Moms"

Guys would never get away with it...

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Every day on SyFy

I see your SyFy (wtf were they thinking?) and raise you the Horror Channel...

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hplasm
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Re: The worst of the best

The most fantastically bad film was offered Free on an IPTV channel.

Kung Fu Mummy.

Try it- you must.

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Microsoft: Keep Moto vid codec patent fight in US, not Germany

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Expert

Rather- a spurt is a Drip under pressure...

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Amazon boss finds Apollo 11 engines on seabed

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Toxic

Yes, that pesky poison dihydrogen monoxide strikes again....

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CD: The indestructible music format that REFUSES TO DIE

hplasm
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Meh

Simon Cowell?

What connection does he have with *music* ?

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James Cameron back from dive to world's deepest point

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Shooting in 3D of absolutely nothing and collecting no samples.

To be fair- you can't go any lower...

Well done JC.

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Rovio: Actually there will be Angry Birds Space on Windows Phone

hplasm
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Clarification post. $SexualDeviance is the price, in USD.

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Space probe in orbit above Mercury sees signs of polar ice

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: Liquid water

It's not fully tidally locked: it has a long day, rotating 3 times for 2 revolutions of the Sun.

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New iPad can't get its Wi-Fi up

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Apples just work...

Slapping won't help. Give it a good thump.

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'Now we understand what's required to explode a supernova' - NASA

hplasm
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Alien

Obviously-

Two FTL palnets crushing a star in a pincer movement.

qv. 'Ploor'...

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Man FLIES with Android-powered homemade bird wings

hplasm
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Happy

Not an iThing-

His wings would have melted...

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Windows 8 for Kindle-like gear hinted by Microsoft bigwig

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Anyone want

Anybody?

Still no...

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hplasm
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Angel

Re: ERP

ERP!

Pardon me!

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Metro on TV?

So you can buy my new invention; The Finglonger. Oh my, yes!

/Farnsworth

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Pirate Bay plans sky-high flying proxy servers

hplasm
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Pirate

International Waters?

Wouldn't that make it an act of REAL piracy?

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Austrian daredevil Baumgartner skydives from 71,581ft

hplasm
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Happy

Standard for jumping out of a plane.

Without expletives - not the first jump...

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hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: looks

That's *next* year...

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Xbox 360 video cable boasts NOISE VIRUS protection

hplasm
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Happy

That's-

The Small Print.

Don't read it carefully.

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