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* Posts by hplasm

2536 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Microsoft 'didn't notice' it had removed Browser Choice for 17 months

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Which joyless wankers

If IE brings you joy, you are a sad fucker indeed.

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: BDG

Strange though it may be, there is a certain truth in what you say...

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Nasa guides Mars Rover with Kinect

hplasm
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Happy

RROD?

Isn't this already built in?

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E-Cat pitching cold fusion to Australians

hplasm
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Meh

Buy one-

and prove it to us, then.

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Raspberry Pi used as flight computer aboard black-sky balloon

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Wind blows in wrong direction.....

Yeah- it might make a nasty POP!

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Seize your moment, Microsoft: iPad is RUBBISH for enterprise

hplasm
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FAIL

Meet Richto-

The Win8 of MS trolls.

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Door creaks and girl farts: computing in the real world

hplasm
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Gimp

Is it me...

or are there a lot of snarky barista types on here today?

I'll have a black coffee, with milk- when you can spare a minute from pouting.

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Computer error triggers mass rocket launch

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Visible from the moon?

So *thats* what happens when you press the 'TURBO' button on the PC...

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Numbers don't lie: Apple's ascent eviscerates Microsoft

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Why Paris?

You can, but you have to remove her ports to do so.

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Ten... alien invasions

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Daleks – Invasion Earth: 2150 A.D.

London never really recovered from the 2012 Olympics...

/retcon

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Boffins pull off room-temp quantum computing with home-grown gems

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Will they

Not unless they want the data to be corrupt.

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Bill Gates: iPad is OK, but what Apple really needs is a SURFACE

hplasm
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Happy

Re: The crucial question...

Will it Surface, or Dive?

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hplasm
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Go

Re: He's dead wrong...

Indeed; Nobody knows what the next BigThing will look like- but it won't be a 'Surface-like Device.'.

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Japan Anonymous aims to fight download law by picking up litter

hplasm
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WTF?

Re: Anti-nuclear?

No nuclear power, no cyber networks to attack. Seems a little at cross-purposes to me...

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iPhone spontaneously combusts on CCTV

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Li-Ion is so last century

I was going to get a Higgs Boson battery for my phone, but it was massive!

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GPS spoofing countermeasures: Your smartphone already has them

hplasm
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Devil

Re: The Rise of the Neo-Luddites

My map is mostly blank, apart from a 'X' and some text at the bottom about 'here be monsters'.

Could be Seattle, could be Cupertino; can't tell.

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CERN catches a glimpse of Higgs-like boson

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Gazillions

Doesn't the M25 already have an accelerator for Evil particles built into it?

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Do you work in IT at RBS? Or at the next place to get hit ...?

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Help your manager look good?

If you haven't worked in Banking, you won't understand...

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Dimming the lights on smart(arse) TV

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: All those functions?

True, so true.

Netflix makes it worse.

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Half the team at the heart of the RBS disaster WERE in India

hplasm
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Mushroom

Re: Reeks of Daily Fail

The problem being is that the Execs ARE plug-compatible empty suits. That's why they can fuck up, fuck off and wander into a new position and carry on.

Kill them all with fire.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: in management terms

But IT guys can talk shit too!

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Obama is best Pres 'to beat alien invasion'

hplasm
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Happy

Re: most US voters?

Most US voters think they sneak over the border.

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Ministers consult public on 'opt in for smut' plans

hplasm
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Re: I like the idea!

Party political sites should be banned anyway.

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hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: If I don't opt in for smut-

Well, at least it will put a stop to advertising it as 'Unlimited'...

Yes, of course it will......

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hplasm
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Stop

If I don't opt in for smut-

Will I only have to pay 1/1000 of the normal price for the full internet connection?

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Microsoft to open UK retail store early next year

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Good News!

Somewhere to get refunds!

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Microsoft's offices gutted in Athens arson attack

hplasm
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Windows

Proof

That the Greeks really don't like Metro.

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Be co-founder mows BT's long grass in bid for fibre success

hplasm
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Happy

"...annoyed being called BT Openreach...."

Usually referred to as BT Opencrotch in these parts...

(Used to be Openwound/ world)

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Raspberry Pi to skipper microship across Atlantic

hplasm
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Pirate

Pirates!

They will board it and add a huge disk array full of goodies and a sat link. Yarr!

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Itanium

The SS Itanic ?

Awesome... perhaps not.

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Microsoft's Surface plan means the world belongs to Android now

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Many people saying Android has failed on tablets..

"Hmmm, cause nobody wants to buy it. That is typically how you judge a product as a failure...."

So much for Win8 and surface then.

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'Inexperienced' RBS tech operative's blunder led to banking meltdown

hplasm
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Devil

Re: You get what you pay for

In this case, bigger yachts for the execs, smaller UK payroll for staff.

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Mensch pal Bozier defends Menshn security, dubs critics 'snippy geeks'

hplasm
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Devil

Re: "Oops! Google Chrome could not connect to menshn.com"

Oo- it's back- now reports:- "Your browser is too modern- please download IE6 or earlier."

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Blighty laid bare as historic aerial snaps archive goes online

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Re. Mystery Location

Giant Moth.

So it must be Tokyo.

Oh, wait...

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Are you a hot BABE in heels and a short skirt? SCIENCE is for YOU

hplasm
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Happy

Re:When I read that...

See- the adverts for PaedoTerrorGeddon are working! Stay away from the Daily Mail etc as much as you can and try to breathe slowly...

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Samsung to probe Galaxy S III blaze claim

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: The area that burned up

It doesn't charge via the USB? Pray tell more...

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Surface: Because Microsoft does so well making hardware?

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Re: Joerg

To be fair, it seems that MS have managed to replicate Apple's most elusive product when it comes to the Surface- The Jobsian Reality Distortion Field.

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Amount of meat we eat will barely affect future climate change

hplasm
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IT Angle

Re:IT angle?

2 degrees- see TFA.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re:Re: Only one number that really matters

You want him to shoot you- with your own gun? That's rather sporting of you!

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Microsoft's uncloaks Phone 8 developer preview

hplasm
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Happy

Re: iPhones 'are all fart and no poo'

All poo and a few fanbois...

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IBM US nuke-lab beast 'Sequoia' is top of the flops (petaflops, that is)

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Don't be silly

Ok then- can it run Metro* and do more than two tasks?

/ducks and runs

* In a VM- I'm not that optimistic...

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Linus Torvalds drops F-bomb on NVIDIA

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Great now we have a child

A more tempered response, such as hurling chairs around?

< ---- That's you, that is.

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Windows Metro Maoist cadres reach desktop, pound it flat

hplasm
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Windows

Re: I like Aero

And me- I like the minty one.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Don't care....

It won't matter- they are working toward full monochrome for the next release...

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Another investor pulls out of Habbo Hotel after grooming claims

hplasm
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Happy

Re: The plural of 'chaos'

Is 'Internets'

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Reborn UK internet super-snooper charter to be unveiled today

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: "No Ms Harmon..."

hard to tell the difference, really...

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Torvalds splits 2012 Millennium Technology Prize with gene scientist

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Dont get it

Who? BillG?

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Blighty's new anti-bribe law will do more HARM than good

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Oh for god's sake

Ok- go for it.

. And don't forget to save the slush fund to replace the kit the now 'non-offended' dock workers have 'accidentally' dropped in the ocean.

It may not be gentlemanly conduct, but some people aren't gentlemen, and greasy-palmed officials doubly so.

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Hitchhiker shot while researching 'Kindness of America'

hplasm
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Pirate

Re: Nice strereotype.

Defence against gun carriers?

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Windows is the OS of the cloud, says Microsoft

hplasm
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Devil

I've seen used dog food before.

Such an apt description of what they do at Redmond.

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