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* Posts by hplasm

2569 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Microsoft: Gmail rival Outlook.com will 'look good on your iPad' 

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: It really is competition for gmail...

Unlike Gmail, then which works fine in Opera.

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Olympic athletes compete in RAYGUN SHOOTING for the first time

hplasm
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Happy

Re: You could have your eye out with that!

Wool?

or Antimatter...

hmmm...

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hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: A better explanation for the modern Pentathlon

"Just because the Lady loves...shiny Apples!"

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hplasm
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Childcatcher

Re: It's the 21st Century...

"Besides, it's harder to enjoy reloading and working up loads for a laser."

Only if it's a namby pamby laser...

I agree with Matt (!) though- where's our Mary Poppins Icon?

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Boffins puzzled over impossibly fast ice avalanches on Saturn's moon

hplasm
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Re: Not natural

"I've run the message thru the ICU- Mother doesn't think it's a message- she thinks it's a warning.-

Something about Instant Mash..."

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Twitter airport bomb joke conviction binned in common-sense WIN

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: Would this be the same CPS

Corrupt Prosecution Service?

Yep- that's them.

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Natwest freezes debit cards, online banking in fresh cock-up

hplasm
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WTF?

Re: Err...

How's the vertigo at the moment, then?

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IT departments are BRATTY TEENAGERS

hplasm
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Devil

Re: 6 months ago I couldn't even spell architect now I are one.

Infrastructure architects tend to know what they are talking about. Anyone with 'Corporate' in their title is probably a hot air generator.

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Neal Stephenson on swordplay, space and depressing SF

hplasm
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Stop

Re: update HG Wells...?!

Don't! Tom Cruise might do War of the Worlds II.

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Nationwide DOUBLES card payments in fresh banking gaffe

hplasm
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Devil

Re: IT outsourced?

Worse yet.

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Old-timer Odyssey to babysit Curiosity's Mars landing

hplasm
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Coat

Re: About a million to one......

That's what *they* said...

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hplasm
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Pint

Re: Who are you, really?

Hopefully, the future.

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hplasm
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Alien

Re: Bent pipe...event tones?

OOOOOOOLaaaaaaaaa!

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Apple CEO: Frothing fanboi iPhone 5 hype screwed our sales

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Entirely Apple's own fault

"And the number of iPad3 unit sold keeps getting higher and higher."

Well it couldn't go lower could it?

Or do things work differently in Fanspace?

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hplasm
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Gimp

Fanbois!

Even the Mothership finds you annoying!

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Microsoft unfurls patent lasso, snares Linux servers

hplasm
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Linux

Re: ...that you will be legally allowed to own

Then only outlaws will have decent kit!

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Ten... PC games you may have missed

hplasm
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Linux

Re: Perhaps 2012 will be the year mainstream gaming comes to Linux?

But then there will be no need for Windows- the gaming OS.

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UK Border Agency to create 'national allegations database'

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Really Dave

They roll it back to get a good run up to roll it out very quickly.

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hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: Good good

That would be ' doubleplus good.'

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EMC's creepy challenge: Give Big Data a 'human face'

hplasm
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Boffin

Give Big Data a Human Face

And Rat-Jellyfish tentacles.

And Bat-Lizard wings

And....

MWHAHA!

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Smart meter hack framework goes open-source

hplasm
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Happy

Re: waste of time

I have one from EBay. P&P is a killer though. 3 stars.

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Windows 8 'bad' for desktop users - Gartner's one-word review

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Balmers Reaction?

Isn't he still busy killing Google?

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Microsoft promises Metro developers 'fame and fortune'

hplasm
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Happy

Bloody stdents.

Get a Job's product.

(I jest!)

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Where there's brass, silver and gold ... there's also muck

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: horse shit cubes?

Feed them on oaty bars.

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Ocean-seeding experiment re-ignites geo-engineering debate

hplasm
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Pint

Re: Do it

You attitude intrigues me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

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Home Office doc 'not qualified' to assess McKinnon suicide risk

hplasm
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Happy

When

is your debut?

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Expert: EU Microsoft competition fine could reach $7bn

hplasm
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Windows

I'm fed up with this crap too

But they keep selling new and crappier versions that are holding back progress.

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Raspberry Pi rolls out speed surge Raspbian OS

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Daft twats

You were shifting an empty box hence box-shifter.

Christ.

What do you use the bloody Arduino for without other stuff? Scratching your arse?

Get back under the bridge,dozy twat.

Bloody Arduino lovers, worse than Dremel fanbois.

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: Bill Smith

You're just a box-shifter then?

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WTF is... WiGig

hplasm
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Happy

Re: More importantly...

wigigigigig.

Like bananananana

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Ice island snaps off Greenland: Just a fifth the size of 1962 whopper

hplasm
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Meh

Re: The Register needs a filtering system

The Register needs a filtering system for trolls at least.

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McDonalds staff 'rough up' prof with home-made techno-spectacles

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Hey, it's international cuisine alright

Merde Grand- inna bun.

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iPhone 5 to be skinniest Apple yet SHOCK

hplasm
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Re: I could not care less

1.5D graphics. They're so thin!

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Microsoft 'didn't notice' it had removed Browser Choice for 17 months

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Which joyless wankers

If IE brings you joy, you are a sad fucker indeed.

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: BDG

Strange though it may be, there is a certain truth in what you say...

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Nasa guides Mars Rover with Kinect

hplasm
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Happy

RROD?

Isn't this already built in?

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E-Cat pitching cold fusion to Australians

hplasm
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Meh

Buy one-

and prove it to us, then.

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Raspberry Pi used as flight computer aboard black-sky balloon

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Wind blows in wrong direction.....

Yeah- it might make a nasty POP!

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Seize your moment, Microsoft: iPad is RUBBISH for enterprise

hplasm
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FAIL

Meet Richto-

The Win8 of MS trolls.

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Door creaks and girl farts: computing in the real world

hplasm
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Gimp

Is it me...

or are there a lot of snarky barista types on here today?

I'll have a black coffee, with milk- when you can spare a minute from pouting.

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Computer error triggers mass rocket launch

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Visible from the moon?

So *thats* what happens when you press the 'TURBO' button on the PC...

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Numbers don't lie: Apple's ascent eviscerates Microsoft

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Why Paris?

You can, but you have to remove her ports to do so.

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Ten... alien invasions

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Daleks – Invasion Earth: 2150 A.D.

London never really recovered from the 2012 Olympics...

/retcon

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Boffins pull off room-temp quantum computing with home-grown gems

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Will they

Not unless they want the data to be corrupt.

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Bill Gates: iPad is OK, but what Apple really needs is a SURFACE

hplasm
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Happy

Re: The crucial question...

Will it Surface, or Dive?

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hplasm
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Go

Re: He's dead wrong...

Indeed; Nobody knows what the next BigThing will look like- but it won't be a 'Surface-like Device.'.

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Japan Anonymous aims to fight download law by picking up litter

hplasm
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WTF?

Re: Anti-nuclear?

No nuclear power, no cyber networks to attack. Seems a little at cross-purposes to me...

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iPhone spontaneously combusts on CCTV

hplasm
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Re: Li-Ion is so last century

I was going to get a Higgs Boson battery for my phone, but it was massive!

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GPS spoofing countermeasures: Your smartphone already has them

hplasm
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Devil

Re: The Rise of the Neo-Luddites

My map is mostly blank, apart from a 'X' and some text at the bottom about 'here be monsters'.

Could be Seattle, could be Cupertino; can't tell.

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CERN catches a glimpse of Higgs-like boson

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Gazillions

Doesn't the M25 already have an accelerator for Evil particles built into it?

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