* Posts by hplasm

2658 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

McKinnon will not be extradited to the US, says Home Secretary

hplasm
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Trollface

Re: I'll bet a million Euro there will be Hell to pay for this decision

A million Euro- what's that? About £5?

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Microsoft Surface: Designed to win, priced to fail

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Pass the tissues

Aw Diddums- something in your eye?

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'Hypersensitive' Wi-Fi hater loses case against fiendish DEVICES

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Think of the Children!

I need a licence for my fish, Eric.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Inquiring minds...

Double blind test- poke out both eyes and see if he can tell when the wifi is on...

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Microsoft Surface ad targets preppy, Glee-watching youngsters

hplasm
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Windows

So-

Does it actually DO anything?

Doesn't look like it.

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Sky support dubs Germany 'Hitler's country'

hplasm
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Happy

Re: by all accounts, a bit of a wrong 'un

Congratulations, you have successfully mastered 'Newthink'

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Protestors target Google over that video

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Google / YouTube

What's wrong with this picture?

No boobs.

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Australian boffins have a ball with lightning maths

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Ball lighning-nuts?

Not as nuts as anal bleaching.

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How Nokia managed to drive its in-house Linux train off the rails

hplasm
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Unhappy

The last line could be Nokia's epitaph-

"It's all over, here."

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Russian Christians boosted by Pussy Riot law spank 'sinful' Apple logo

hplasm
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Re: How about the cross

Torture Porn laws?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Apple leads good Christians astray...

The Map reflects religion- it's a grey area.

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hplasm
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WTF?

Russia

First the fall of Communism, next the fall of IQ.

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Ballmer aims chair at Apple after Windows package miss

hplasm
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Meh

If you *need* Windows for the Captain's Chair

Then you are probably just playing at being Captain.

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Linux Jovial Names

Skype anyone?

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Microsoft trials Digits finger-sensing bracelet

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Me like

...and it won't work with anything decent until it's been hacked by someone.

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Boffins build program to HUNT DOWN CO2 polluters where they LIVE

hplasm
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Meh

There is a word for this.

Bollocks.

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Japanese cellco drops veil on futuristic hands-free video phone

hplasm
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WTF?

Drop the veil- again?

Lift the veil, shurely?

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Mystery martian object is relic of (our) civilisation

hplasm
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Alien

Re: Part of a ........

Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator.

Next-

Earth Shattering Kaboom.

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Microsoft to devs: Bug users about security … now!

hplasm
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Linux

A security risk has been detected.

Please format hard drive and install another OS.

I know. Flame away- I'm chilly.

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Is lightspeed really a limit?

hplasm
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Happy

Re: wow that graph

That's going on a t-shirt!

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Lunar water-prospecting rover rolls closer towards launch

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Soviet find water on the Moon in the 1970s

Checkov! Is that you?

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: A fine notion

So? Start a black latex spacesuit factory.

mmmmm!

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40,000 sign petition to oust Rep. Paul 'pit of hell' Broun

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Let's be fair: Broun knows what "hell" is.

If this guy's Fundie God exists, I'll gladly roast in Hell for eternity rather than go to Fundie Heaven.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: An important idea here.

A talking Turtle- that's proof of evolution, right there!

Or Alice in Wonderland is an OEM User manual too.

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Crazed Microsoft robot accuses BBC kids' channel of Win8 piracy

hplasm
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Happy

Metro, Notro,Modern UI-

Now AKA The CBeebies Interface.

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Boffins: Our memory film is like your girlfriend - transparent and cheap

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Lets have more gratuitous sexism.

I like my women like I like my coffee- ground up in bags in the freezer.

/saidtoomuch...

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Samsung adds iPhone 5 to patent battle v Apple

hplasm
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Devil

Re: if i was the judge

...beat of iTunes in my brain..

seems more likely

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Do they sell these Sun's in the US?

Ask Oracle.

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Simon Cowell plans X Factor for Tech

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Not X factor

Thanks for giving a shit- so we don't have to.

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Windows 8 early-bird users still love Windows 7 more - poll

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Fast boot isn't everything...

Enter the cluebat.

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'Replace crypto-couple Alice and Bob with Sita and Rama'

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Longer is better

Shouldn't there be numerics and case changes in there, just to make it roll off of the tongue better?

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US said to designate Assange 'enemy' of the state

hplasm
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Happy

Re:Don't stand too close to the windows, Julian.

Authorised to him out?

You must be thinking of Julian Clary.

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: It won't do you any good

That;s the US Govt screwed then.

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Democratic congresswomen 'less feminine in appearance' than Republicans

hplasm
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Devil

True

"It may be unnecessary for Republican men to exhibit masculinity through their appearance,"

It's obvious they're dicks...

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New Zealand Prime Minister apologizes for Dotcom spying

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: Margaret Thatcher Icon

Use this one - Thatcher with a 'Tash.

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McFlurry McMisdemeanour costs Welsh lass McJob

hplasm
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Happy

McExtras?

McSweetcorn?

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NZ bloke gets eel stuck up jacksie

hplasm
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Joke

Re: "The eel was about the size of a decent sprig of asparagus"

I agree- it's an outrage!

Oh- wait; it is an eel...

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Tesla drops veil on TOP SECRET solar Superchargers

hplasm
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Devil

Re: The cake is a lie!

Take this cake from me- after I've licked the icing off...

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Vandals break into congressman's office, install Linux on PCs

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Non-story

Linux on the Desktop!

Yes it is- how did that get there?!?

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hplasm
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Happy

Or-

iOS6!

*gasp*

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Windows Store size doubles: Now 0.3% the size of Apple's

hplasm
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Happy

Best qualitie-

much cheapness!

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Google promises autonomous cars for all within five years

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Scary stories from the Chocolate Factory

Does he use Bing?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: This brings a new meaning to...

Don't let Windows drive- solved.

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A single web link will WIPE Samsung Android smartphones

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Magic

It MUST work on iPhones- Samsungs are a direct copy, aren't they?

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Scientists: 'Castration is the key to a longer life'

hplasm
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Happy

Re: 'Castration is the key to a longer life' You first.

It is merely due to the fact that it is easier and quicker to slide down bannisters going "wheee" like a kid; this makes you feel young again, and you live longer because of it.

Also you don't whack your nuts on the bannister end...

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Events in stratosphere can affect Earth's entire climate

hplasm
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Happy

Re: I hate to piss on anyones parade but...

Bill- they don't think much of MS products...

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hplasm
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Happy

@ Andrue

Yes.

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Sorry? Whats stopping you?

I don't do religious pamphlets.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Swiss Navy

Don't forget the Ass. of All Knowing Anonymous Cowards!

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Christian footie match ends in almighty brawl

hplasm
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Happy

Re: we're all only one step down from the trees

What have I told you about annoying your toys, Jesus?

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