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* Posts by hplasm

2536 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Microsoft walks into a bar. China screams: 'Eww is that Windows 8? GET OUT OF HERE'

hplasm
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Windows

Re: breaking news!

Surface 3 launch.

Not news... just another product launch burp.

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Uncivil engineering: US society skewers self-published science

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

What happens-

if you publish in the 'open' sites first, then with the ASCE?

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'Executed ex' of Norkers' bonkers Kim Jong-un rises FROM THE GRAVE

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Hyon Song-wol is ...

"Hyon Song-wol is ... "

The NK answer to Schrodingers Cat?

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hplasm
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Devil

Re:God alone knows what the real truth is.

Yes- but which one?

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BEAM ME UP SCOTTY: Boffins to turn PURE LIGHT into MATTER

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: Star Trek Replicators

Pah.

What we need now is an inertialess engine to generate this matter inside of...

and an intertialess ship on the end of it.

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Urinating teen polluted 57 Olympic-sized swimming pools - cops

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Urine is sterile

"And the bottled water came from WHERE originally...?"

I'll have you know that the water has been passed by Mr Grylls personally!

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Space Station in CRISIS: Furious Russia threatens to BAN US from ISS

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: "the irreplaceable orbital station"

Not the last- there's still the Axiom... http://pixar.wikia.com/Axiom

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Russia to suspend US GPS stations in tit-for-tat spat

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Potty @Anonymous Coward

"... whereas you rabidly bleat it at every opportunity."

Don't 'bleat' Trevor- Matt will sue for infringement of his raison d'etre...

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The weird and wonderful mind of H.R Giger is no more

hplasm
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Unhappy

Adieu, great artist.

The world will be more mundane without your vision.

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Microsoft throws Kinect under a bus, slashes Xbox One to $399

hplasm
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Devil

Ah-

The sound of another MS U-turn- featuring samples of the lyrical stylings of M Thatcher...

Play on.

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Stop bullying SUPER FAT GODZILLA, urge movie stars

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

"It's been sixty years..."

Trying to block out the last Hollywood version, then?

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Boffinry breakthrough: First self-replicating life with 'alien' DNA

hplasm
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Happy

Re: I for one welcome

Life imitating Prometheus... (The film, not the firebringer...)

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Britain'll look like rural Albania without fracking – House of Lords report

hplasm
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Unhappy

A new Dark Ages?

Or an Idiocracy?

The future looks rather bleak for anything good to happen, one way or another.

TGIF tomorrow...

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Microsoft: You know we said NO MORE XP PATCHES? Well ...

hplasm
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Happy

Re: XP

WINDOWS

Surely the old yeller of operating systems.

Surely Microsoft should get the rifle out for it now

FTFY

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SpaceX wins court injunction to block US Air Force buying Russian rockets

hplasm
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Happy

Re: I like Elon.

The irony of using the Govt embargo rules against the Govt.

Elon Musk is Irony Man.

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hplasm
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Meh

"What they have we don't need...."

If that was true, then you wouldn't need what they have...

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Microsoft's Azure cloud goes a bit wobbly in West Europe

hplasm
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Happy

DaaS

Downtime as a Service.

Continuing Innovation from Microsoft.

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Fix capitalism with floating cities on Venus says Charles Stross

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Good ideas Need cash

We need more Elon Musks and fewer Donald Trumps.

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New .london domains touted tomorrow amid usual tech hypegasm

hplasm
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Coat

Re: why .london instead of...

"Surely .nodnol would be for a Bulgarian site?"

surely that would be .8008135 ... if they had numbers...

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94% of Brit tech bosses just can't get the staff these days, claims bank

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Hard to get the staff?

"The punctuation in that ad would stop me applying."

The punctuation in that ad is the only attractive thing about it.

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Can't get the staff

They want contractors; then they can screw them.

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Microsoft forms 'Special Projects' black ops team

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Surely this is just Microsoft Research under a different name?

"Given that Google is developing the self-driving automobile"

But MS have had the self-crashing computer for ages...

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Huh?

And don't forget OOXML...

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Google's self-driving car breakthrough: Stop sign no longer a problem

hplasm
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Devil

Re: 700,000 miles

Deploy missiles...

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Chap builds mobe based on Raspberry Pi

hplasm
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Happy

re:"*If you want contributions to the hacking of electronics;"

Do you live near Jake?

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Look behind you, 'declining' sub-$5bn iPod. The iWatch has come... to EAT YOU

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Trouble with the ipod is, most everyone who wants one, has got one apparently.

Then again, I've long dreamed of that laser projector built into my wristwatch... (zap!!!)

FTFY

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DeSENSORtised: Why the 'Internet of Things' will FAIL without IPv6

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: is this what.....

"the decimalisation debate was like back in the 60's....?"

no, it's more like proposing the opposite- or changing from metric back to imperial measures...

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RIP net neutrality? FCC mulls FAST LANES for info superhighway

hplasm
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Megaphone

Re: A Very Strong Stink of Corruption

"There is a vital alternative media on the Internet"

For now- they will be the first targets of the New Media.

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Tooled-up Ryobi girl takes nine-inch grinder to Asus beach babe

hplasm
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Happy

Re: It's the pliers versus side-cutters polemic all over again.

She's clearly using a Chacka Demus, then.

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So, just how do you say 'the mutt's nuts' in French?

hplasm
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Happy

Re: How about in Thai?

ไข่หมา - literally meaning 'egg dog'

With noodles?

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Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise

hplasm
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Coat

Ah Kilkenny-

To be renamed 'South Park'...

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hplasm
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Alien

Re: @ Winkypoop @Don Jefe

"What's wrong with the Royal Family?"

That's a whole new kettle of worms.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Village?

Isn't a hamlet a baconated piglet?

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Oh no, Joe: WinPhone users already griping over 8.1 mega-update

hplasm
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Devil

Re: RTFM

TFM says This is a Developers Version.

Then- We've done as much as we can with it. See what you can fix for us. Thanks. MS.

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Apple fanbois eat static as Beeb, Sky web stream vids go titsup on iOS

hplasm
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Meh

Re: At the risk of being downvoted

"...just as long as it works for them"

So not at the moment then?

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Microsoft reissues Windows 8.1 Update for enterprise customers

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Windows 8.x is used in the enterprise?

Yes, but only the one with Captain Archer.

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You want an IT course? Welcome to QA Training's Week of Free

hplasm
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Happy

" Microsoft best kept ITPro secret: SCOrch"

Hahahah... Nice one.

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Windows 8.1, which you probably haven't upgraded to yet, ALREADY OBSOLETE

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Waitwhat?

In other news: Win9 ALREADY obsolete!

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You use Office 365, SQL Server or Azure, right? Great, you're invited to Microsoft's data insights

hplasm
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Meh

There are a lot of these MS 'Insights'

Do they all end with "Exit through the bridge shop"?

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Be prepared... for your Scouts-loving sprog to become tiny spin doctor

hplasm
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Facepalm

New motto!

B-Ark Prepared!

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SpaceX Falcon tests HOVERCRAFT tech – despite ISS outage

hplasm
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Happy

Re: At last!

And a checkered band- it needs a checkered band, just below the nose cone!

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Spy-happy Condoleezza Rice joins Dropbox board as privacy adviser

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: What's the big deal?

Got a toilet door, AC?

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USB reversible cables could become standard sooner than you think

hplasm
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Happy

Re: 100W?

I want a USB oven!

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Re:the bottom of the port

Which might be on the left, or the right hand side..or the top; which may be underneath.

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Anatomy of OpenSSL's Heartbleed: Just four bytes trigger horror bug

hplasm
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Windows

Re: A bug in a library is always worse, but...

"Who in their right mind is still running web sites on Windows 2000?"

Who in their right mind is still running web sites on Windows ?

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Solar-powered aircraft unveiled for round-the-world flight

hplasm
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Boffin

re:That's why the top speed is limited to 86MPH

To avoid time-travel problems!

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Moody Planes

It's not gravity, it's the ground trying to kill you.

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Ancient Earth asteroid strike that dwarfed dinosaur killer still felt today

hplasm
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Joke

Re: Wiped out species in existence?

"... they would have been clustered around smokers in the deep ocean..."

So after the apocalypse, life will begin again outside offices and in shelters outside of pubs.

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UFO, cosmic ray or flasher? NASA rules on Curiosity curiosity

hplasm
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Alien

Re: "or similar..."

Sadly the other camera fell right in the dark centre of the other of the two luminous rings,which were briefly projected at the rover from a strange rocky projection on the far hilltop.

Together with the luminous circles was a very deep audio signal that was also unfortunately missed by the onboard microphone, apparently wittering on about something concerning 'Mysterons' or some such gibberish... probably just the Martian wind...

Now back to NASA spokesperson, Captain Black, in Mission Control.

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Internet is a TOOL OF SATAN that destroys belief, study claims

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Alleluia, he's Saved!

Repeat after me:- The Web is not The Net.

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