* Posts by hplasm

2822 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Hear that sound? It's the Windows XP PC bubble popping

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: WHAT!

"...should of done."

Have. tsk tsk...

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Cortana to form CIRCLE OF LIFE in Windows 10

hplasm
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Meh

What is the Swahili for

Steaming pile of spyware?

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Patch now: Design flaw in Windows security allows hackers to own corporate laptops, PCs

hplasm
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Devil

Oooh!

Crapsticks!

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Microsoft: Even cheapo Lumias to get slimmed down Windows 10

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Wait,,,,What?

"Windows Phone 8 - Zero known vulnerabilities. Zero known malware."

Zero known users.

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This optical disc will keep your gumble safe for 2,000 YEARS

hplasm
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Terminator

Finally-

Something for the NSA and chums to store all our (meta)data on for the forseeable future...

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$10,000 Ethernet cable promises BONKERS MP3 audio experience

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Awesome however

It is related to the word 'commode'...

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: One born every minute

The 1s are straighter and more defined, the 0s are rounder and smoother...

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Smartphones don’t dumb you down, they DUMB you UP

hplasm
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Devil

Re: GPS and SatNav

"What is the use case for this bit of tech again?"

Idiot identification.

"...Cortana"

again, idiot ID.

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SWELLING moons of ice dwarf Pluto snapped by NASA spy-probe

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Its a planet.

"Where an arbitrary line is drawn really makes little difference."

Er, the Equator is here- wants a word with you...

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hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Its a planet.

And anyone who says otherwise is a dwarf-scientist. Nyah!

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Microsoft's Nadella: Congratulations on 12 months of not being Steve Ballmer

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Barrack Obama???

It looks like you were trying to type 'Will' Do you want some help with that?

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'Tech' City hasn't got proper broadband and it's like BT doesn't CARE

hplasm
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Stop

Re: Revenue !=Profit...

Indeed. Should have stopped after "Is it necessary for state aid to subsidise BT?"

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Zoinks! Is that Mystery Machine Apple's SELF-DRIVING FAMILY WAGON? You decide

hplasm
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Happy

Re: An Apple self-drive car?

To the Apple store. And back?

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ALIENS are surely AMONG US: Average star has TWO potentially Earth-like worlds

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Aliens are among us !

Those 'debates' are necessary to ensure that we never get off this rock...

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Breaking news: BBC FINALLY spots millions of mugshots on cop database

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: What purpose?

Also: Surely the police have just one purpose?

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Spent the weekend watching Game of Thrones? You're a FAT LONELY SADDO

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Could you perhaps tone down your laddish editorial? This isn't RALPH

If you 'loose yourselves in books' there's probably a different description of you than saddo...

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Lost SPACECRAFT believed FOUND ON COMET

hplasm
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Coat

Re: GIF

Isn't a Jraph a tall horsey?

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Ugly, incomplete, buggy: Windows 10 faces a sprint to the finish

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: I still shudder...

Q: When will Windows be finally ready for the desktop?

A: An unspecified time. It's called the future. Get used to it.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Ugly, inconsistent, unfinished, and dangerous

"While we're on the subject of File Explorer... "

It has to be called that to explain the feeling that using Windows is like hacking through a dense, impenetrable jungle...

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'LOOK into my EYES: You are feeling very worried about the climate ... SO worried'

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Didn't have to look

"Mother of Crom, does the word GLOBAL mean anything to you?!?"

Crom? What use to call on him? Little he cares if men live or die.

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Didn't have to look

"...the facts ..."

You keep using those words... I think this is the point where the yoof say <citation needed>.

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Microsoft 'showers gold' on anti-Google Cyanogen and its Android alternative

hplasm
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Pint

ow!

Fucking cognitive dissonance....

Cyanogen good, MS... well you know...

Time for beer.

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Windows 10 heralds the MINECRAFT-isation of Microsoft

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Dungeons and Dragons

But... I thought that's what 3d printers were for...!

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: " an operating system that crosses the streams ......"

" high resolution textures instead of ugly 16x16 chunks..."

That didn't happen with TIFKAM, did it?

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A Bombe Called Christopher, or A Very Poor Imitation

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Yes It's terrible

"So is "Cryptonomicon", of course."

It's Hollywood. The Necronomicon is more accurate...

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Cubans defy government's home internet ban with secret home-made network

hplasm
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Happy

Re: cantenna?

"...or violate the laws of physics."

Use neutrinos- they laugh at the curve of the earth, but respect the laws of physics!

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MYSTERY RADIO SIGNAL picked up from BEYOND our GALAXY

hplasm
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Coat

Re: I find your observation...

Surely...

^0^

</Spock off>

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Why so tax-shy, big tech firms? – Bank of England governor

hplasm
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Devil

Re: "the challenge will be for people to develop skills that cannot be displaced by machines"

"...a machine that costs less than 130'000 GBP."

Wait until you see the new MS perpetual licence scheme...

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Doomsday Clock says 3 MINUTES to MIDNIGHT. Again

hplasm
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Coat

It's obvious-

The clock has advanced due to the threat of Page 3 being removed...

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Free Windows 10 could mean the END for Microsoft and the PC biz

hplasm
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Facepalm

"It's apparently a chargeable upgrade..."

I read that as a charitable upgrade...

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Microsoft will give away Windows 10 FREE - for ONE year

hplasm
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Windows

Re: and a new device to be announced later today.

"the new Super-Duper Microsoft ZuneBob Bingthing,"

They have announced the name of the new Surface 4 as well?

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hplasm
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Linux

Re: The unasked question

It doesn't understand the concept- as usual... Does Not Play Well With Others V10.

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Windows 10, day ZERO ... Will Nadella be the HERO?

hplasm
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Devil

"although the absolute ignorance of software"

There is MS's problem, in a nutshell.

Well done for pointing that out.

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Wizard of Oz OFFICIALLY 'most significant movie' EVER, says PNAS

hplasm
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Devil

What if...

They reference a book, and then 30 years later, the book is made into a film- and then a film is made that refers to the film that refers to the original book...

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NASA probe snaps increasingly detailed shots of MOIST DWARF goddess

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

So-

IF Pluto is ('nt) a dwarf planet, and Ceres is a dwarf planet, how many bloody planets are in the 'Solar System' now?

8, 9 or 10 (or more...)?

CBA Googling- it's snowing...

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MARS NEEDS BROADBAND, insists Elon Musk

hplasm
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Devil

Newsflash 2050

Mars Colony 3 still has faster broadband than UK.

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GRENADE! Project Zero pops pin on ANOTHER WINDOWS 0-DAY

hplasm
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Windows

"The guy seems like exactly what MS needs."

An administrator?

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NINETY new DOOM ASTEROIDS found in 2014

hplasm
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Facepalm

Surely-

Rocks like these are where we should be spending billions of "Terror Threat" monies?

(Not actually on them...)

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: 1.5 MILLION SCOVILLE masala omelette

hplasm
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Flame

Re: I did a whole Bhut Jolokia

The best mouth extinguisher I have found is Cointreau, neat. For some reason it kills the heat stone dead.

It may ignite though- perhaps I've been lucky so far...

Does nothing for the other end.

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Microsoft rolls out even cheaper 'Notkia' Lumias

hplasm
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Devil

After Landfill Android

Comes Ballast Lumia...

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Demon Internet goes TITSUP: Outage borks ancient ISP

hplasm
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Coat

Re: AFTER 13:45

It implies sometime after the late 14th Century...

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Warning: Using encrypted email in Spain? Do not pass go, go directly to jail

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Choose the right fight

Arrested for discussing pliers now!

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Preserve the concinnity of English, caterwauls American university

hplasm
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Holmes

"Apparently this form has superseded the old way."

No. From time immemorial, teachers have been known to be Wrong.

They don't like it when you tell them either.

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hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: funny

q.v. The quaint verse, "One man went to mow."

Look it up yerselves....

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Sesquipedalian Bollocks.

Bollock back...

It just provide that Pols should stick to words of one syllable, or preferably, fewer.

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SpaceX drone hovership ROCKET LANDER BURN: Musk to try again

hplasm
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Happy

God speed-

Is that faster than Ludicrous Speed?

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This $10 phone charger will wirelessly keylog your boss

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Decrypt any Microsoft wireless keyboard: MUH TRUSTED COMPUTING!!

" It's true that they don't say it's reasonably sniffproof, just "suitable for use in a commercial setting"."

But they don't even indemnify their OSs as"suitable for use in a commercial setting". Or anywhere else, for that matter...

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Hawking and friends: Artificial Intelligence 'must do what we want it to do'

hplasm
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Stop

Re: "Our AI systems must do what we want them to do"

" I fear that the "three laws" would make such systems impossible."

I hope that the "three laws" would make such systems impossible.

FTFY

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Question for people here smarter than me...

"A self aware car might crash because it was day dreaming about flowers."

We've got people for that already.

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French Google fund to pay for 1 million print run of Charlie Hebdo next week

hplasm
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Flame

So-

"I wonder who is behind this post?"

Internet Tough Guy. They love basking in someone else's anything.

Je suis Charlie.

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