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* Posts by hplasm

2400 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Surface: Because Microsoft does so well making hardware?

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Re: Joerg

To be fair, it seems that MS have managed to replicate Apple's most elusive product when it comes to the Surface- The Jobsian Reality Distortion Field.

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Amount of meat we eat will barely affect future climate change

hplasm
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IT Angle

Re:IT angle?

2 degrees- see TFA.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re:Re: Only one number that really matters

You want him to shoot you- with your own gun? That's rather sporting of you!

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Microsoft's uncloaks Phone 8 developer preview

hplasm
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Happy

Re: iPhones 'are all fart and no poo'

All poo and a few fanbois...

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IBM US nuke-lab beast 'Sequoia' is top of the flops (petaflops, that is)

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Don't be silly

Ok then- can it run Metro* and do more than two tasks?

/ducks and runs

* In a VM- I'm not that optimistic...

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Linus Torvalds drops F-bomb on NVIDIA

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Great now we have a child

A more tempered response, such as hurling chairs around?

< ---- That's you, that is.

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Windows Metro Maoist cadres reach desktop, pound it flat

hplasm
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Windows

Re: I like Aero

And me- I like the minty one.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Don't care....

It won't matter- they are working toward full monochrome for the next release...

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Another investor pulls out of Habbo Hotel after grooming claims

hplasm
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Happy

Re: The plural of 'chaos'

Is 'Internets'

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Reborn UK internet super-snooper charter to be unveiled today

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: "No Ms Harmon..."

hard to tell the difference, really...

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Torvalds splits 2012 Millennium Technology Prize with gene scientist

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Dont get it

Who? BillG?

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Blighty's new anti-bribe law will do more HARM than good

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Oh for god's sake

Ok- go for it.

. And don't forget to save the slush fund to replace the kit the now 'non-offended' dock workers have 'accidentally' dropped in the ocean.

It may not be gentlemanly conduct, but some people aren't gentlemen, and greasy-palmed officials doubly so.

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Hitchhiker shot while researching 'Kindness of America'

hplasm
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Pirate

Re: Nice strereotype.

Defence against gun carriers?

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Windows is the OS of the cloud, says Microsoft

hplasm
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Devil

I've seen used dog food before.

Such an apt description of what they do at Redmond.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: In all fairness...

The way it's going, soon the spelling will be Micro¢oft.

Happy?

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hplasm
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Linux

Windows is the OS of the Cloud

Where 'Cloud' is a subset of 'Fog'.

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NASA cuts inspire 'Planetary Exploration Car Wash & Bake Sale'

hplasm
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Unhappy

Sad.

Odd how this never needs to happen when there are people that need 'Democracy' dropping on them.

Or

prayers to be rented.

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You know what Google needs? Another Street View data-slurp probe

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Not this again

It's more like complaining that people are eavsdropping when shouting down a cellphone on the train.

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Flying Dutchman creates dead cat quadcopter

hplasm
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Devil

What!!

Why would you rip your cat's balls off?

Why do you seek attention for your arsehole?

I suppose you would have no interest in a DeadKittyBlimp then...?

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Room for improvement

But it's already fitted with Catseyes!

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hplasm
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Happy

#dogperson?

Is that like Manbearpig?

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hplasm
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Holmes

Re: I've never eaten dead cat.

Think now. Can you be absolutely certain about that...?

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Credit due?

What!? Sir Elt passed up a chance to do Camel With The Wind one more time?

Blimey!

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Windows 8: Not even Microsoft thinks businesses will use it

hplasm
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Pint

Re: When does thing launch again? @Graham

Have one of these- even go want to do, like!

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10m years ago there was less CO2 - but the Earth was WARMER

hplasm
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FAIL

However-

Their spelling is better than yours...

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hplasm
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Trollface

Well your profile says

you started on Wednesday 16th May 2012 08:40 GMT.

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Samsung Galaxy Tab 'a harmful drug', says Apple in ban bid fail

hplasm
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Gimp

Wow.

What harmful drugs are Apple on to try that line?

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Dual-screen, detachable and Windows 8 star at Computex

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Android apps on Windows

I hope quickly too. Android apps would only make W8 usable.

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Oz has to go nuclear, says Adelaide U scientist

hplasm
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Holmes

not enough water for cooling?

Don't use water. It's bad.

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1930s photos show Greenland glaciers retreating faster than today

hplasm
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Megaphone

Re: "So why the ad-hominems?"

It seems an increase in solar output leads to an increase in the number of arseholes.

I wish the sky would fall on the lot of them.

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US officials confirm Stuxnet was a joint US-Israeli op

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Fukushima

Weak.

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hplasm
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Linux

Re: Fukushima

Anyone using Windows for any life-crucial tasks should be taken out and shot.

It says so in the EULA...

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hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: OK...

Voldemort's a hacker? Who knew!

Seriously- can anyone sue for damages? These ones are real, not like McKinnons 'repair' bill...

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Terror cops hunt laptop snatched from retired MI5 spookmistress

hplasm
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Happy

Re: It's OK...

It is Ok- when the thieves open it, a jet of poison gas will shoot out of the screen.

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Windows 8 Release Preview open for download

hplasm
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Windows

Re: We can't afford the CPU, hard drive, video, etc upgrades MS thinks are necessary

Perhaps they pay them more, rather than wasting money on overspecced hardware to run overpriced bloatware?

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Universe has more hydrogen than we thought

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: Echidnas?

But what is the mass of a football pitch, in Kangaroos?

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I need to multitask, but Windows 8's Metro won't let me

hplasm
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Windows

Re: first concorde, now the UI (It is called Cargo -Cult)

"...The thing about Win8 and Metro is they are shaping up to be absolutely fantastic on mobile devices and tablets."

fan·tas·tic (fn-tstk) also fan·tas·ti·cal (-t-kl)

adj.

1. Quaint or strange in form, conception, or appearance.

2. Unrestrainedly fanciful; extravagant:

3. Bizarre, as in form or appearance; strange:

4. Based on or existing only in fantasy; unreal: fantastic ideas about her own superiority.

5. Wonderful or superb; remarkable:

1 out of 5 ain't bad...

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Steve Jobs was top of the flops, says Apple's Tim Cook

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Foxconn-rebranding company.

Turd-polishing comapany is already taken by Microsoft.

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Olympic Wenlock plod cops condemnation from Amazon wags

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Is it just me....

Perhaps- but it does make the Police look like dicks...

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HTC slips One X, Evo 4G past Apple US patent ban

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: "innovated"

Er...*whoosh*...

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Assange loses appeal against extradition to Sweden

hplasm
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Happy

Re: execute people on the Reg forums

Capital punishing- for TYPING in CAPS??

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hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: definition

I love to watch rape.

Such lovely yellow fields, waving in the breeze.

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The more science you know, the less worried you are about climate

hplasm
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Angel

Re: Science == skepticism

Correct! Bozons are not real- unlike Bosons...

Bozos on the other hand are many, and like to think the sky is falling.

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hplasm
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Headmaster

That would be-

toe the line. Not tow.

Psht! "experts..."

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Sheer weight of Brits' interest knackers new tax tool

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Be interesting if...

Within 6 months Whitehall and Co would be running Bring and Buy sales to raise money.

It might be nice to see Bake Sales for Bullets instead of Hospices though.

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Microsoft invades Iraq, installs first distributor

hplasm
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Windows

How evil!

So much for hearts and minds- that's just low.

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Dole office to roll out digital benefits to north-west – 6 months early

hplasm
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Childcatcher

Easier to claim-

Does it have a Win Metro interface, with tiles for the different types of benefit?

Press Red square for Housing Cash, Green square for Heating cash, etc.

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Facebook needs Opera - to rescue it from dependence on Apple

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Opera - top dog. AC@17:17

By the mindless.

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Dell Windows 8 tablet, hybrid details leak

hplasm
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Happy

Look carefully-

Part tablet, part laptop, part tea-trolley. Where are the castors though?

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Virgin Media wipes out websites with routing blackhole

hplasm
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Linux

Aha

That's where El Reg went.

All else seemed ok though.

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