* Posts by hplasm

3071 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Borked your iDevice? Pay EVEN MORE to have it fixed by Applecare

hplasm
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Headmaster

A Ye Olde Shoppe

Is a "Ye Olde Shoppe".

I don't see your problem with this meme.

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Feds use Instagram pic of delicious steak dinner to nab ID thieves

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Shoddy reporting

The steak was later found to be Horse, with a fake ID

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Android is a mess and needs sprucing up, admits chief

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Windows 8 'sales' barely half as good as Microsoft claims

hplasm
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Stop

Spork!

There's nothing wrong with sporks- they do a good job as a spoon, and a reasonable fork impression.

Win 8 on the other hand...

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Microsoft splashes big bucks to blast Google Apps

hplasm
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Meh

Re: FUD train?

No alternative? Yes there is- send it back and tell them to use a proper format.

DOCX- i'm looking at you...

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Brits' phone tracking, web history touted to cops: The TRUTH

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Its not very anonymous is it..My career as an MP is over.

No it isn't- it's going pretty much as people expect!

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On the hunt for a new ampere

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Just define the number of electrons in a coulomb, stupids!

1 Ampere = 1 Hogshead of electrons.

Job done!

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'Liberator': Proof that you CAN'T make a working gun in a 3D printer

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Well its a proof of concept.

Not so cheap... $2 worth of ABS costs $1000 in printerland...

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hplasm
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Happy

Welcome to El Reg

I take it you are new here...

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Dropping the 3d printer on them

Is more likely to kill someone than this gun, so perhaps they should be banned.

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ZX Spectrum cassette player lost? There's an app for that

hplasm
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Happy

Re: mirror-universe counterpart.

With evil goatee....

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Love it

But it's iOS!!

Er, FAIL?

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Builder-in-a-hole outrage sparks Special Projects Bureau safety probe

hplasm
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Excellent!

is there such a word as 'Underkill' ?

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Standard Model goes PEAR-SHAPED in CERN experiment

hplasm
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: No doubt some wintards think that the sun does get rebooted, that's what night is.

I need new brew now!

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Snoopers' charter rests in shallow grave - likely to rise again

hplasm
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Happy

Re:Just tattoo an IP address to my face

I agree- but not mine...

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M&S shoppers make quarter of a million NFC payments a WEEK

hplasm
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Re:Their goods are undeniably higher quality as well*

I deny that

. £5 for two baking spuds.... right....oh, they've been washed so the help doesn't have to... ok then!

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hplasm
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Happy

You can buy food in M&S for under £20 ?

Blimey!

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Queen's Speech: 'Problem of matching IP addresses' to be probed

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: You are not going to connect an xbox directly to the internet

Really...?

Er, XBox owners...

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Microsoft: Subscription-only apps? Not for us, yet

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Not worth it

People pay for Photoshop? Who knew?

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Google not sabotaging YouTube on Windows Phone after all

hplasm
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Windows

Re: I suppose...

And I'm sure Andrex Labrador owners are glad they have something else to wipe their arses on other than a WinPhone...

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Coke? Windows 8 is Microsoft's 'Vista moment'. Again

hplasm
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Re: Telemetry Bullshit

Wallet Garden! +1 for truth!

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hplasm
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Meh

"...It's just you really have to work at it."

At least you don't have to mess about with like Linux, eh?

Oh, wait...

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The Metro experiment is dead: Time to unleash Windows Phone+

hplasm
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Windows

Re: As predictable as night following day

Funny, the comments seem to be mainly from mongs who say W8 is soooo much easier than older versions; ie "My old computer was too complicated for me..."

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Windows Blue preview to land at end of June

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Are small biz owners naturally mentally deficient?

Only the ones who embrace W8.

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Get your very own open source nematode

hplasm
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Happy

Its it written...

in elegant C?

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India introduces Central Monitoring System

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: Eventually (in a few centuries maybe) all governements will realize this is *not* a solution

In India, manpower is still relatively cheap- 250,000 people with headphones on in a call centre could probably do this for £47m... but the annual pencil and notepad bill would be ever increasing, together with the cost of filing cabinets.

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Self-assembling robot inches towards WORLD DOMINATION

hplasm
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Alert

I'll be back....

inches away, slowly...

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Oz chap blows his own Google Glass

hplasm
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The bag it is open;

The cat is no longer inside.

(All this needs is a 3D printer angle~ all else is 'open, freedom, etc'.)

Still, good work!

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Scramjet X-51 finally goes to HYPER SPEED above Pacific

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Will you be allowed

Bottled water shouldn't be carried anywhere. Fill the empty bottle up when you get there.

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hplasm
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Flame

Well done-

Next- Thunderbird 1.

Hypersonic Fire

<===

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Plans for fully 3D-printed gun go online next week

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Awesome!

Point one of these at me and see how far you get.

I'll print up an F16 and nuke you with a printed a-bomb.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: So the solution....

As is sticking a musket down the back of your pants.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: The point is-

Mr Zip...

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hplasm
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Terminator

The point is-

Any idiot can make stuff now.... after someone has done the skilled bit once.

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TV gesture patent bombshell: El Reg punts tech into public domain

hplasm
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Happy

Wave hands madly and-

" Enhance 57 to 19. Track 45 left. Stop. Enhance 15 to 23. Give me a hard copy right there."

Job done.

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How did something so small and pink cause so much trouble?

hplasm
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Meh

Re: To add to that...

Which is probably a very good thing.

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Debian 7 debuts

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Oh, dear...

Hah. It's better than '8'...

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Impoverished net user slams 'disgusting' quid-a-day hack

hplasm
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Re: Sanctimony

This!

if you don't like the rules- don't play!

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Yet another Cabinet-level ID card farce

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: manifesto

written 'sham manifesto'

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The UK's copyright landgrab: The FAQ

hplasm
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Excellent summary.

Please keep us up to date!

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Dunkin' Donuts temps S Korea with ultrasonic tags

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Breakfast Dining ???

Worse yet- have you seen the new 'Breakfast Biscuits' for 'Breakfast on the go' ?

FFS.... some people are sooooo busy these days....

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Thousands rally behind teen girl cuffed, expelled in harmless 'explosion'

hplasm
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Flame

It's the handwringing twats-

that never did anything "dangerous" when they were young that are slowly turning this planet into fucking Vogsphere...

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Forget choice: 50% of firms will demand you BYOD by 2017

hplasm
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WTF?

Re: wonder what the ratio is now

How is life in the ant farm?

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UK.gov's love affair with ID cards: Curse or farce?

hplasm
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Happy

Re: ...and thus allowed to roam freely round Europe?

Talk slowly and in capitals with trouser legs rolled up and knotted hanky on head.

How else?

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Weary quid-a-day nosh hack fears colonal mass ejection

hplasm
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No naked wobbling!

Oh the huge manatee!

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Is this the first ever web page? If not, CERN would like to know

hplasm
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Happy

Re: 404

Schrodinger's LOLCat...

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CLIMATE CHANGE forces women into PROSTITUTION - US politicians

hplasm
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Happy

Re: If climate change forces women into prostitution...

That would require two prostitutes....

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Brit horologist hammers out ‘first’ ATOMIC-POWERED watch

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Too many moving parts...

Only if they are Nixie tubes...

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Google Now lands on iOS

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Linguistics

Loogabaroougah!

(Loughborough - 'nuff said...)

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Branson's SpaceShipTwo succeeds in first rocket-powered flight

hplasm
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Re: Sending kids?

There's more danger to kids in the 'Happy' Meal...

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