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* Posts by hplasm

2569 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Microsoft Surface popped open, poked, prodded

hplasm
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WTF?

Re: WTF is Mauve?

One word- Ecru.

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: Where's the Nokia slab?

In place above the waiting open grave?

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Ballmer bets 'all in' on Phone 8 and Windows

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Ooh! Ooh!

A monkey?

No it's dogshit on a tablet year.

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Steve Jobs' Apple-powered yacht makes belated first trip

hplasm
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Happy

Does it

hit the dock and bounce back?

Sorry, iDock...

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: Odd

Seeing iDogs?

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Pre-ordered a Microsoft Surface? So SORRY it's late, have a voucher

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Where has all the geek commonsense gone?

REAL Geeks use whatever is to hand and hack it.

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hplasm
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Angel

But...

you don't know? Has the hurricane/UPS broken your direct line to Ballmer's mind?

I'm shocked!

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Where has all the geek commonsense gone?

I refer you to:-

"Real geeks don't go near Microsoft products,"

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hplasm
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Happy

See- they have sold out all stock!

All 10 have gone!

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Operators turn UK bonking consortium into Google-killer

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Joined Up Mobile?

Good luck reading that logo if you're colourblind.

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Hurricane Sandy blows away Google Nexus launch in New York

hplasm
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Gimp

Re:

"I'm almost disappointed.."

...but it's not an iOS release, after all.

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Valve taps testers for Linux Steam

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Pop-u-lar

Just like Windows 8 isn't.

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hplasm
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FAIL

Re: This is going to be funny

"This is going to be funny"

It wasn't.

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Sinofsky: Surface 'best tablet, best laptop' he's ever used

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Captain of the fail boat

But the excremental is never overlooked...

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: Erm - plus the Surface has support for 420 milion hardware devices at launch via USB

That's a lot of chargers- is the battery life that bad?

Or else the USB hub to plug them all into must be massive!

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: In 12 months time

"Damn you, Windows 8!! You blew it all to hell!!"

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Microsoft: Just swallow this tablet ... the rest will take care of itself

hplasm
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Meh

Re: You have it wrong.

pity they don't do scanners, isn't it?

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hplasm
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Stop

Re: Here's a list for ya:

That's one sick fantasy

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: "Microsoft actually writes fantastic software"

And the rest is RTM'ed...

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: "Microsoft actually writes fantastic software."

"Utter, utter, UTTER turd"

At last- a realistic assessment of Win8.

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Paintballs proposed as defense against ASTEROID ATTACK

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Paint.

We could cure cancer,and use the publicity to raise awareness of earth-destroying asteroids- the spare money will be up for grabs!

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APPLE: SCREW YOU, BRITS, everyone else says Samsung copied us

hplasm
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FAIL

Innovative iPad

Has square corners, eh?

PS- onlysoppy US fanbois live in basements- UK types have houses.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Nicely done

Apple spell checker.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Wow, that was pathetic.

And Tim Cook extradited to the UK!

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Samsung posts record profits as Galaxy sales crush Apple

hplasm
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Happy

Shurely-

...Stuck in the middle with ewe...

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N00bs vs Windows 8: We lock six people in a room with new OS

hplasm
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Coat

Re: I think this shows one stark fact about folks in the IT profession......

IT bods don't handle change.

They use Pay-by-Bonk.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Its not difficult!

Isn't XP the Teletubbies interface?

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: New name

Crap?

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Surface RT: Freedom luvin' app-huggers beware

hplasm
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Windows

Re: quite an important feature

So the surface is as good a computer as say, a plank of wood?

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: I didn't think she could switch a machine on without assistance...

The target market, right there.

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EDF: We'll raise bills 11% - but only 2% is due to energy costs!

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Love the downvotes

Because you obviously wear a hair-shirt?

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Windows 8 unleashed! Midnight launch for world+dog

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Microsoft wants to own verbs. AC

Sorry- you both Zune and 8.

<- no Zune icon...

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Is there an emulator?

I hear it has a Windows emulator- well hidden though.

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: In before

Late to the party aren't you?

Must be Microsoft.

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Surface tablet's touch cover is ZX81 REBORN

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Now you've done it

The cheap keyboard is a bit better than a ZX81, and the dear one a bit better than a Speccy- that's positive?

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Microsoft's 'official' Windows 8 Survival Guide leaks

hplasm
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Devil

Re: A suggested subtitle...

"So you've installed W8? PANIC!"

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Are you for real?

If it's a joke, then it's serious; if it's official MS document, then it's a stupid time waste of time.

Savvy?

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Chinese boffins discover bizarro fish-oid creature with FOUR LIMBS

hplasm
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Re: Where's the pic?

It's not ready

. They've done the Zhu Min, but N Hans hasn't done his bit yet.

CSI type stuff takes time, not like TV.

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Surface tablets snapped up on pre-order, but no camping in the street

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Brits love it?

The UK hates winners, preferring second best- qv Sky vs BSB, etc.

Bloody "plucky runners" up culture.

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EC: Microsoft didn't honour browser-choice commitment

hplasm
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Happy

"Ballmer can not be so stupid."

*Citation Needed*

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Windows 8: Is Microsoft's new OS too odd to handle?

hplasm
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Stop

Re: Oracle Windows 9

*Shudder*

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: Windows task manager?

The pretty essential utility that show you which part of the OS is slowing the system to a crawl this time.

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Building a new PC

"...effectively ignore all the new crap."

Which you paid extra for?

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Microsoft has no plans for a second Windows 7 Service Pack

hplasm
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Joke

Re: "Why would I need parts for a car less than 5 years old?"

It's a Vauxhall?

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Big labels try for ISP blocking on 3 more 'pirate' sites

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Self-serving hypocrites

Just like the BPI, eh?

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US patent office prepares to kill off Apple's bounce-back patent

hplasm
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Happy

Hahaha

Also, Ha!

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Astroboffins out FREAK 'BI' GALAXY

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Excellent unit conversion maths

Agreed- particularly when measuring Kessel Run performance.

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Skype for Windows 8 is coming: Always on, always in your contacts

hplasm
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Headmaster

Dropped the veil?

Again!

It's Lifted the veil!

grr!

What- skype on Win8? Who cares- this is important!

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Why James Bond's Aston Martin Top Trumps the rest

hplasm
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Devil

Re: The DB5

Also the front machine guns were broomhandle painted black!

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EARTH was a BAKING LIFELESS DESERT for 5 MILLION years

hplasm
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Boffin

Hopefully future global warming won’t get anywhere near temperatures of 250 million years ago-

But If it did- we'll get over it.

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