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* Posts by hplasm

2600 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Japanese car nuts build racecars powered by shouting 'Brrrm! Brrrrrm!'

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Braking wind

Probably applied with a 'peddle'...

grr!

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Apple seeks cooling fan patent for iPhone, iPad

hplasm
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Happy

I shall-

patent the use of audio-output jack as a whistle.

*heard it here first*

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Medical scan record that the NHS says will cost £2k to retrieve: Detail

hplasm
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FAIL

"He's just looking for attention."

Said jm83, in a string of postings...

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What made us human? Being ARMED with lethal ranged weapons

hplasm
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Go

Re: "powerful, lethal ranged weapons is a vital part of what makes us human"

...what *keeps* us human is compassion and empathy.

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Apple iPad 4 Wi-Fi only tablet review

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: I just got one for work

Now *that* is a Review.

Take note.

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Microsoft offers cut-price Win 8 PCs and fondletops to UK schools

hplasm
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Windows

Shape the future

“Give me the child for his first seven years and I'll give you the Microsoft User.”

Same Old.

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Microsoft mulls 'Xbox Surface' slate for games

hplasm
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Meh

Surface to Games Slate?

Remove keyboard.

How hard can it be?

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Apple iPad Mini 8in tablet review

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Sheltered Life

Don't sit under the Apple tree, with anyone else but i...

Sing along now!

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Apple's poisonous Touch silently kills the GNOMEs of Linux Forest

hplasm
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Happy

Re: XFCE

ok, just "ooo" then...

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Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Souse versus scrapple

hplasm
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Devil

Re: I'm proud of my kids as well

Social Services?

*Put them in the curry*

/Milligan Dalek Voice

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: cultural preferences

Always interesting are people who like things until they find out what they are- then they go off them.

Freud would have a field day...

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Yukk

Nah- cat food needs salt- which is really not! good for cats; otherwise...

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Felix Baumgartner sadly turns out to be blinkered FOOL

hplasm
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Trollface

Re: Usual whining drivel from the Reg's resident Victor Meldrew

Perhaps you shoud leave off the Red Bull.

And stop reading stories you know will make you rant.

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Nobody knows what to call Microsoft's ex-Metro UI

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Acro-monious

NUTS

Nobody Uses This Shit.

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hplasm
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Devil

or

Ftumch!

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: 20 Billion for this?

I agree- call it WTF?

That's what most people will say when they start to use it.

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El Reg acquires wildly dangerous laser cannon (with lightsabre option)

hplasm
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Unhappy

'a consumer'

Is that how you see yourself?

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hplasm
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Stop

Re: Is that really a good idea?.

You'd better be wearing hi-vis and carrying a clip board when you say that...

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Asus: we ship a million Google's Nexus 7s monthly

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: There is a lot more value to the iPad than just the price.

No. No there isn't.

The retina display is wasted on the blinkered and the blind.

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Forgetting Microsoft: How Steve Ballmer's Surface could win

hplasm
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Meh

Re: I'm buying a surface.

It must be better than being a dimensionless entity, I suppose...

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: "Nun on nun action"

Penguin Wrestling.

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: We are not the product-

Demographics are worth nothing except to demographics companies that sell them :)

Stupid consumers are where the money lies.

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hplasm
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Holmes

We are not the product-

We are the target.

You can ignore an advert (GOOG )- you can't ignore an invoice. (MS)

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Sandy takes out NYC colo facility

hplasm
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Coat

Re: A bit unlucky

A server centre without ports? At least it's secure...

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Volunteers sought to see if anyone actually can hear you scream in space

hplasm
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Devil

Er-

How many cell towers will this phone confuse?

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hplasm
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Facepalm

WTF?

here's another experiment-

Give me a £20 note, and see if I can make it disappear.

Look! It's gone.

Let's see if I can do it again- give me another twenty...

heh heh heh

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WinPho 8 fans now able to order HTC handsets

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Weird, isn't it.....

So looking like a nerk is the new cool? Who knew?

Timmy Mallet for fashion icon

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Hitachi buys Horizon to save UK's nuclear future

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Lord Brunel Resurrection!

A Steampunk Revolution?

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hplasm
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Thumb Up

Finally!

A step forwards. Everything seems to have been going backwards recently into darkness and gloom, lit only by the optimistic glow of LCD backlights.

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Ballmer bets 'all in' on Phone 8 and Windows

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: bean counters

Power.

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: Ooh! Ooh!

A monkey?

No it's dogshit on a tablet year.

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Microsoft Surface popped open, poked, prodded

hplasm
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Linux

Re: betting on linux to rule the worlld

Whilst you were pissing about with MS, it did.

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hplasm
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WTF?

Re: WTF is Mauve?

One word- Ecru.

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: Where's the Nokia slab?

In place above the waiting open grave?

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Steve Jobs' Apple-powered yacht makes belated first trip

hplasm
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Happy

Does it

hit the dock and bounce back?

Sorry, iDock...

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: Odd

Seeing iDogs?

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Pre-ordered a Microsoft Surface? So SORRY it's late, have a voucher

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Where has all the geek commonsense gone?

REAL Geeks use whatever is to hand and hack it.

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hplasm
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Angel

But...

you don't know? Has the hurricane/UPS broken your direct line to Ballmer's mind?

I'm shocked!

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Where has all the geek commonsense gone?

I refer you to:-

"Real geeks don't go near Microsoft products,"

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hplasm
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Happy

See- they have sold out all stock!

All 10 have gone!

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Operators turn UK bonking consortium into Google-killer

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Joined Up Mobile?

Good luck reading that logo if you're colourblind.

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Hurricane Sandy blows away Google Nexus launch in New York

hplasm
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Gimp

Re:

"I'm almost disappointed.."

...but it's not an iOS release, after all.

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Valve taps testers for Linux Steam

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Pop-u-lar

Just like Windows 8 isn't.

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hplasm
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FAIL

Re: This is going to be funny

"This is going to be funny"

It wasn't.

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Sinofsky: Surface 'best tablet, best laptop' he's ever used

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Captain of the fail boat

But the excremental is never overlooked...

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Microsoft: Just swallow this tablet ... the rest will take care of itself

hplasm
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Meh

Re: You have it wrong.

pity they don't do scanners, isn't it?

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hplasm
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Stop

Re: Here's a list for ya:

That's one sick fantasy

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: "Microsoft actually writes fantastic software"

And the rest is RTM'ed...

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Paintballs proposed as defense against ASTEROID ATTACK

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Paint.

We could cure cancer,and use the publicity to raise awareness of earth-destroying asteroids- the spare money will be up for grabs!

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APPLE: SCREW YOU, BRITS, everyone else says Samsung copied us

hplasm
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FAIL

Innovative iPad

Has square corners, eh?

PS- onlysoppy US fanbois live in basements- UK types have houses.

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