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* Posts by hplasm

2606 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Glorious silicon globes could hold key to elusive PERFECT kilogram

hplasm
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Joke

Re: What Puzzles Me

It's compared to a bag of sugar.

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Oprah Winfrey too late to save Microsoft's Windows 8

hplasm
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Devil

Re:Windows 7 was a life boat

'Surface' is a submarine.

Dive dive dive.

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Design guru: Windows 8 is 'a monster' and 'a tortured soul'

hplasm
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Windows

Re: What's all the fuss about?

*Car Analogy Alert!*

Say you bought a car.

Would you be happy having to Pay Extra for a windcreen that was more than 10% transparent, ot a decent sized steering wheel before you could drive it as easily as your previous cars?

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Can't wait for Nvidia? Try these Italian baby ARM clusters with GPU options

hplasm
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Coat

Baby ARM

Holding an Apple?

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Woz: Microsoft's innovation lead 'worries me greatly'

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Roger Irrelevant Writes...

You mean "My Very First Smartphone"

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Author of '80s classic The Hobbit didn't know game was a hit

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Bugs...

I got stuck in the barrel room ;You got imprisoned in there, and to escape you had to get into a barrel and then dump it though the trap door into the river- do it without and you would drown. i threw the barrel out first one time, and could not proceed, so quit and reloaded from tape. This time when I was thrown into the room, there was no barrel, and it was never there ever after - this was without doing a game save- I have no idea what happened...

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Survey: Win8 only HALF as popular as Win7 among IT bosses

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Ignorant users

I think what you are saying is:-

Win 8. Windows for Monkeys.

Hmm.

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Boss wrong to demote man over anti-gay-marriage Facebook post

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Outrageous

Leave Igors out of this!

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Sydney Uni boffin wants database to track smokers

hplasm
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Happy

"Oz boffin"

Is he called Bruce?

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hplasm
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Joke

Re: Hey you, citizen! You really suck.

Roy would have been ok if he hadn't gone to Skaro.

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Fart-buster underpants selling well among Japanese salarymen

hplasm
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Happy

The graphic-

looks like it will turn into Mr Sparkle at any moment.

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Samsung readies bendy smarties for 2013

hplasm
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Happy

Rounded corners-

Are so 2D...

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Automatic Facebook couple pages: Nauseating sign of desperation

hplasm
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Happy

So

Is the Cake true now or not? I forget...

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hplasm
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Coat

It depends-

which end of the gut they go in...

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Microsoft flings free Xboxes to long-term Live lovers

hplasm
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Devil

Increased sales figures!

Every little helps...

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hplasm
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Devil

What a cruel,

and unusual punishment.

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Humans becoming steadily STUPIDER, says brainiac boffin

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Is he married?

Or Stepford grade. more like.

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Word wonks insist GIFs are really JIFs

hplasm
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Holmes

Choosy Mothers choose Jiff

'Cause it starts with a 'J'.

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: Was the vulture logo created by a jiffics artist on jiff paper?

No, Giraffic Artists on Giraffe paper.

In Giraffic Park.

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ROGUE PLANET WITHOUT A SUN spotted in interstellar space

hplasm
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Coat

Re: could be a small Dyson Sphere

Aha - A Dyson Ball. In a vacuum...

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hplasm
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Happy

Yes.

Try again on Tuesday. About 2ish.

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hplasm
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Happy

Geez-

It's put on a bit of mass...

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: Perhaps...

That's no Moon...

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Very strange stuff

'Planet' <Noun> (gk) Wanderer

'Atmosphere' <Noun> Gaseous envelope held onto surface of Planet (q.v) by Gravity.

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Mobile phone sales slump bites Nokia

hplasm
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Windows

Microsoft don't make phones-

But if they did, they'd be shit. Probably.

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Cawing retail vultures circle dying Comet, might rip some chunks off

hplasm
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Happy

Hi

De Hi.

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hplasm
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Happy

Aaark! Aaark!

Classic.

El Reg Xmas cards with sound please.

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Sex offenders need internet access, judge rules

hplasm
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WTF?

No

Why would they?

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Brits admit to using mobile phones during sex - and not in a good way

hplasm
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Joke

Re: It may just be me

@Tegne

Taking the piss?

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El Reg mulls commentard icon portfolio shake-up

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Omnishambles

A TIFKAM screen?

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Top prosecutor warns troll-hunting cops not to choke courts

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: harden the **** up

Sounds correct though.

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SECRET 28 'scientific experts' who Greened the BBC - Revealed!

hplasm
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Big Brother

Board of Governors

Replaced by Ministry of Truth.

Bad Show, BBC.

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This post has been deleted by a moderator

Even £9.8m on consultants can't get UK.gov network push underway

hplasm
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Devil

Re: what's 'boraband'?

It's capable of going fast, but is generally quite slow.

q.v VW Bora, the car for old farts that think the Passat is too racy.

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BOSS Bang boffins: DARK ENERGY spreading across the Universe

hplasm
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Boffin

Dark Energy-

Phlogiston Proven.

Next- Aether; Where have you been hiding?

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Brits swallow Google Nexus 4 supply 'in 30 minutes'

hplasm
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Happy

No MacBook

For you then?

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Google, Amazon, Starbucks are 'immoral' and 'ridiculous' over UK tax

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Welcome to the capitalist world...

"We all love good value for money"

That rules out Starbucks, then.

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hplasm
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Devil

Lawyers and accountants will be going bankrupt by the million.

You say that like it is a bad thing...

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Windows boss Steve Sinofsky exits Microsoft

hplasm
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Happy

Re: 8almer

Nice one.

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iFixit CEO launches open Toshiba service guide scheme

hplasm
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Unhappy

Toshiba-

Hiding behind H&S?

It's spreading worldwide like a red weed...

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UK's planned copyright landgrab will spark US litigation 'firestorm'

hplasm
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Devil

How about

Royalites for Dickens novels ripped off by the US?

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EU approves push to get the unknown security in ARM chips into use

hplasm
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Devil

Re:should've made your calculation in Excel

or not, rather.

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'Perfect' INVISIBLE SHED stuns boffinry world

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Better make the shed rock-shaped, too.

Unfortunately the chameleon circuit is bust.

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Coders grill Herb Sutter on future of C++ at Microsoft

hplasm
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Meh

Hello?

"...World..."?

Doubt it.

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Star Wars VII: The Disney Movie signs Toy Story III script genius

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Star Wars VII: Rise of the Gungans!

Gungan Style ?

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Goatse.cx opens up again - as an email provider

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: I like the idea but...

Perhaps anyone who needs an addy for '"we will not pass on your details ..." signups. Why not for $5? Better than a spam raddled Hotmail account- if you can still get one...

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Microsoft Surface Touch keyboards self-destruct – and more

hplasm
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Happy

Re: But....

The Surface clicky-clicky one with the Glee types?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Why do you enjoy seeing other people have problems?

He's a designer at MS?

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Microsoft to biz: Just so you get off XP, we don't mind if you go Win 7

hplasm
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Devil

Windows To Go

What a nice headline that would make...

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Apple-v-Samsung $1bn iPhone fine: 'Jury foreman was biased'

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Since one US Jury was drunk or stoned through most of a case

As well as the Apple/Samsung one?

Outrageous!

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