Feeds

* Posts by hplasm

2531 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Forgetting Microsoft: How Steve Ballmer's Surface could win

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: I'm buying a surface.

It must be better than being a dimensionless entity, I suppose...

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: "Nun on nun action"

Penguin Wrestling.

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: We are not the product-

Demographics are worth nothing except to demographics companies that sell them :)

Stupid consumers are where the money lies.

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Holmes

We are not the product-

We are the target.

You can ignore an advert (GOOG )- you can't ignore an invoice. (MS)

4
2

Sandy takes out NYC colo facility

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: A bit unlucky

A server centre without ports? At least it's secure...

2
0

Volunteers sought to see if anyone actually can hear you scream in space

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Er-

How many cell towers will this phone confuse?

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

WTF?

here's another experiment-

Give me a £20 note, and see if I can make it disappear.

Look! It's gone.

Let's see if I can do it again- give me another twenty...

heh heh heh

5
0

WinPho 8 fans now able to order HTC handsets

hplasm
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: Weird, isn't it.....

So looking like a nerk is the new cool? Who knew?

Timmy Mallet for fashion icon

1
1

Hitachi buys Horizon to save UK's nuclear future

hplasm
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Lord Brunel Resurrection!

A Steampunk Revolution?

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Finally!

A step forwards. Everything seems to have been going backwards recently into darkness and gloom, lit only by the optimistic glow of LCD backlights.

2
0

Ballmer bets 'all in' on Phone 8 and Windows

hplasm
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: bean counters

Power.

0
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Ooh! Ooh!

A monkey?

No it's dogshit on a tablet year.

1
0

Microsoft Surface popped open, poked, prodded

hplasm
Silver badge
Linux

Re: betting on linux to rule the worlld

Whilst you were pissing about with MS, it did.

4
5
hplasm
Silver badge
WTF?

Re: WTF is Mauve?

One word- Ecru.

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Where's the Nokia slab?

In place above the waiting open grave?

0
0

Steve Jobs' Apple-powered yacht makes belated first trip

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Does it

hit the dock and bounce back?

Sorry, iDock...

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Odd

Seeing iDogs?

6
0

Pre-ordered a Microsoft Surface? So SORRY it's late, have a voucher

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Where has all the geek commonsense gone?

REAL Geeks use whatever is to hand and hack it.

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Angel

But...

you don't know? Has the hurricane/UPS broken your direct line to Ballmer's mind?

I'm shocked!

3
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Where has all the geek commonsense gone?

I refer you to:-

"Real geeks don't go near Microsoft products,"

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

See- they have sold out all stock!

All 10 have gone!

9
6

Operators turn UK bonking consortium into Google-killer

hplasm
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: Joined Up Mobile?

Good luck reading that logo if you're colourblind.

1
0

Hurricane Sandy blows away Google Nexus launch in New York

hplasm
Silver badge
Gimp

Re:

"I'm almost disappointed.."

...but it's not an iOS release, after all.

0
0

Valve taps testers for Linux Steam

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Pop-u-lar

Just like Windows 8 isn't.

3
0
hplasm
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: This is going to be funny

"This is going to be funny"

It wasn't.

4
0

Sinofsky: Surface 'best tablet, best laptop' he's ever used

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Captain of the fail boat

But the excremental is never overlooked...

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Erm - plus the Surface has support for 420 milion hardware devices at launch via USB

That's a lot of chargers- is the battery life that bad?

Or else the USB hub to plug them all into must be massive!

0
3
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: In 12 months time

"Damn you, Windows 8!! You blew it all to hell!!"

8
0

Microsoft: Just swallow this tablet ... the rest will take care of itself

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: You have it wrong.

pity they don't do scanners, isn't it?

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Stop

Re: Here's a list for ya:

That's one sick fantasy

1
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: "Microsoft actually writes fantastic software"

And the rest is RTM'ed...

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: "Microsoft actually writes fantastic software."

"Utter, utter, UTTER turd"

At last- a realistic assessment of Win8.

14
4

Paintballs proposed as defense against ASTEROID ATTACK

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Paint.

We could cure cancer,and use the publicity to raise awareness of earth-destroying asteroids- the spare money will be up for grabs!

1
0

APPLE: SCREW YOU, BRITS, everyone else says Samsung copied us

hplasm
Silver badge
FAIL

Innovative iPad

Has square corners, eh?

PS- onlysoppy US fanbois live in basements- UK types have houses.

4
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Nicely done

Apple spell checker.

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Wow, that was pathetic.

And Tim Cook extradited to the UK!

1
0

Samsung posts record profits as Galaxy sales crush Apple

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Shurely-

...Stuck in the middle with ewe...

13
0

N00bs vs Windows 8: We lock six people in a room with new OS

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: I think this shows one stark fact about folks in the IT profession......

IT bods don't handle change.

They use Pay-by-Bonk.

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Its not difficult!

Isn't XP the Teletubbies interface?

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: New name

Crap?

2
1

Surface RT: Freedom luvin' app-huggers beware

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: quite an important feature

So the surface is as good a computer as say, a plank of wood?

4
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: I didn't think she could switch a machine on without assistance...

The target market, right there.

8
0

EDF: We'll raise bills 11% - but only 2% is due to energy costs!

hplasm
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Love the downvotes

Because you obviously wear a hair-shirt?

17
14

Windows 8 unleashed! Midnight launch for world+dog

hplasm
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: Microsoft wants to own verbs. AC

Sorry- you both Zune and 8.

<- no Zune icon...

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Is there an emulator?

I hear it has a Windows emulator- well hidden though.

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: In before

Late to the party aren't you?

Must be Microsoft.

1
0

Surface tablet's touch cover is ZX81 REBORN

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Now you've done it

The cheap keyboard is a bit better than a ZX81, and the dear one a bit better than a Speccy- that's positive?

2
1

Microsoft's 'official' Windows 8 Survival Guide leaks

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: A suggested subtitle...

"So you've installed W8? PANIC!"

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Are you for real?

If it's a joke, then it's serious; if it's official MS document, then it's a stupid time waste of time.

Savvy?

0
3

Chinese boffins discover bizarro fish-oid creature with FOUR LIMBS

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Where's the pic?

It's not ready

. They've done the Zhu Min, but N Hans hasn't done his bit yet.

CSI type stuff takes time, not like TV.

2
0