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* Posts by hplasm

2573 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Galapagos tortoise 'Lonesome George' might NOT be last of his kind

hplasm
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Happy

Re: What they really need...

No, No, the hard part is teaching them to climb ladders with a stiffy.

there you go.

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Girlfriend 'tried to MURDER ME with her AMPLE BREASTS'

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Death!

By boobie!

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Sandy Island does exist - on a 1908 chart

hplasm
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Happy

Gone, it be!

Global warming has melted it!

Or the ACID OCEAN has dissolved it!

Noes!!11

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Asteroid miners hunt for platinum, leave all common sense in glovebox

hplasm
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Pirate

Re: But there is no concept of private property.

Thus: SPACE PIRATES!!

Yarr! *beep*

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Pirate cops bust LITTLE GIRL, take her Winnie-the-Pooh laptop

hplasm
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Pirate

Re: demanded that to avoid prosecution he fork over €600…

...demanded that to avoid prosecution he fork over €600…

Sound like PIRATES to me.

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BlackBerry 10: AWESOME. If the hardware matches it, RIM jobs are safe

hplasm
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Happy

Looks good.

Android, Apple and Blackberry. Plenty of competition there.

Oh and that other one. Never mind.

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Mint Linux gifts Unity haters with 'Nadia' ... plus her Mate

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: How quaint

How quaint- it lives under a bridge, look!

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Barclays Bank buys 8,500 Apple iPads in one go

hplasm
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Meh

Re: capable of doing what the bank needs.

Ego polishing, pure and simple.

It's bloody Barclays.

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WIMP-seeking detector flooded

hplasm
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Happy

Re: How are they going to find dark matter underground?

Nightvision- that explains the photomultipliers.

The xenon is there to inhale and do Darth Vader impressions while they wait.

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Lawrence 'Empire Strikes Back' Kasdan to pen future Star Wars script

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Annoying bear thingies

Invented in Yorkshire...

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Italians deploy fearsome SPY MANNEQUINS to win Fashion Wars

hplasm
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Terminator

Do they

have drop-down hands with guns in the wrists?

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AARGH! We're ALL DOOMED, bellows UN - right on schedule

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Sorry, third world, you need to STAY POOR

But- you are neglecting the contribution of... Hippo farts.

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Sam Sung found in Apple Store SHOCKER

hplasm
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Happy

Re: "Somec Unt"

Isn't there one of those high up in Nokia?

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Beeb rights swapper swaps shop to swap-shop for red-tops

hplasm
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Angel

Wow

The sub header made my head spin.

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NASA admits hiding 'really good' news from Martian soil

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Don't get excited

It'll be one for the AREOLOGISTS history books.

You're welcome.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: April the 4th of September

A complex date indeed.

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Oprah Winfrey too late to save Microsoft's Windows 8

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Is the nursery closed today?

It's like having a picture book with furry pages.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re:Windows 7 was a life boat

'Surface' is a submarine.

Dive dive dive.

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Glorious silicon globes could hold key to elusive PERFECT kilogram

hplasm
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Joke

Re: What Puzzles Me

It's compared to a bag of sugar.

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Design guru: Windows 8 is 'a monster' and 'a tortured soul'

hplasm
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Windows

Re: What's all the fuss about?

*Car Analogy Alert!*

Say you bought a car.

Would you be happy having to Pay Extra for a windcreen that was more than 10% transparent, ot a decent sized steering wheel before you could drive it as easily as your previous cars?

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Can't wait for Nvidia? Try these Italian baby ARM clusters with GPU options

hplasm
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Coat

Baby ARM

Holding an Apple?

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Woz: Microsoft's innovation lead 'worries me greatly'

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Roger Irrelevant Writes...

You mean "My Very First Smartphone"

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Author of '80s classic The Hobbit didn't know game was a hit

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Bugs...

I got stuck in the barrel room ;You got imprisoned in there, and to escape you had to get into a barrel and then dump it though the trap door into the river- do it without and you would drown. i threw the barrel out first one time, and could not proceed, so quit and reloaded from tape. This time when I was thrown into the room, there was no barrel, and it was never there ever after - this was without doing a game save- I have no idea what happened...

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Survey: Win8 only HALF as popular as Win7 among IT bosses

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Ignorant users

I think what you are saying is:-

Win 8. Windows for Monkeys.

Hmm.

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Boss wrong to demote man over anti-gay-marriage Facebook post

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Outrageous

Leave Igors out of this!

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Sydney Uni boffin wants database to track smokers

hplasm
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Happy

"Oz boffin"

Is he called Bruce?

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hplasm
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Joke

Re: Hey you, citizen! You really suck.

Roy would have been ok if he hadn't gone to Skaro.

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Fart-buster underpants selling well among Japanese salarymen

hplasm
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Happy

The graphic-

looks like it will turn into Mr Sparkle at any moment.

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Samsung readies bendy smarties for 2013

hplasm
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Happy

Rounded corners-

Are so 2D...

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Automatic Facebook couple pages: Nauseating sign of desperation

hplasm
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Happy

So

Is the Cake true now or not? I forget...

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hplasm
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Coat

It depends-

which end of the gut they go in...

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Microsoft flings free Xboxes to long-term Live lovers

hplasm
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Devil

Increased sales figures!

Every little helps...

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hplasm
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Devil

What a cruel,

and unusual punishment.

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Humans becoming steadily STUPIDER, says brainiac boffin

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Is he married?

Or Stepford grade. more like.

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Word wonks insist GIFs are really JIFs

hplasm
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Holmes

Choosy Mothers choose Jiff

'Cause it starts with a 'J'.

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: Was the vulture logo created by a jiffics artist on jiff paper?

No, Giraffic Artists on Giraffe paper.

In Giraffic Park.

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ROGUE PLANET WITHOUT A SUN spotted in interstellar space

hplasm
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Coat

Re: could be a small Dyson Sphere

Aha - A Dyson Ball. In a vacuum...

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hplasm
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Happy

Yes.

Try again on Tuesday. About 2ish.

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hplasm
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Happy

Geez-

It's put on a bit of mass...

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: Perhaps...

That's no Moon...

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Very strange stuff

'Planet' <Noun> (gk) Wanderer

'Atmosphere' <Noun> Gaseous envelope held onto surface of Planet (q.v) by Gravity.

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Mobile phone sales slump bites Nokia

hplasm
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Windows

Microsoft don't make phones-

But if they did, they'd be shit. Probably.

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Cawing retail vultures circle dying Comet, might rip some chunks off

hplasm
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Happy

Hi

De Hi.

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hplasm
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Happy

Aaark! Aaark!

Classic.

El Reg Xmas cards with sound please.

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Sex offenders need internet access, judge rules

hplasm
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WTF?

No

Why would they?

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Brits admit to using mobile phones during sex - and not in a good way

hplasm
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Joke

Re: It may just be me

@Tegne

Taking the piss?

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El Reg mulls commentard icon portfolio shake-up

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Omnishambles

A TIFKAM screen?

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Top prosecutor warns troll-hunting cops not to choke courts

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: harden the **** up

Sounds correct though.

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SECRET 28 'scientific experts' who Greened the BBC - Revealed!

hplasm
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Big Brother

Board of Governors

Replaced by Ministry of Truth.

Bad Show, BBC.

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