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* Posts by hplasm

2532 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Cawing retail vultures circle dying Comet, might rip some chunks off

hplasm
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Happy

Hi

De Hi.

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hplasm
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Happy

Aaark! Aaark!

Classic.

El Reg Xmas cards with sound please.

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Sex offenders need internet access, judge rules

hplasm
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WTF?

No

Why would they?

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ROGUE PLANET WITHOUT A SUN spotted in interstellar space

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Very strange stuff

'Planet' <Noun> (gk) Wanderer

'Atmosphere' <Noun> Gaseous envelope held onto surface of Planet (q.v) by Gravity.

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Brits admit to using mobile phones during sex - and not in a good way

hplasm
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Joke

Re: It may just be me

@Tegne

Taking the piss?

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El Reg mulls commentard icon portfolio shake-up

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Omnishambles

A TIFKAM screen?

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Top prosecutor warns troll-hunting cops not to choke courts

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: harden the **** up

Sounds correct though.

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SECRET 28 'scientific experts' who Greened the BBC - Revealed!

hplasm
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Big Brother

Board of Governors

Replaced by Ministry of Truth.

Bad Show, BBC.

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This post has been deleted by a moderator

Even £9.8m on consultants can't get UK.gov network push underway

hplasm
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Devil

Re: what's 'boraband'?

It's capable of going fast, but is generally quite slow.

q.v VW Bora, the car for old farts that think the Passat is too racy.

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BOSS Bang boffins: DARK ENERGY spreading across the Universe

hplasm
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Boffin

Dark Energy-

Phlogiston Proven.

Next- Aether; Where have you been hiding?

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Brits swallow Google Nexus 4 supply 'in 30 minutes'

hplasm
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Happy

No MacBook

For you then?

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Google, Amazon, Starbucks are 'immoral' and 'ridiculous' over UK tax

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Welcome to the capitalist world...

"We all love good value for money"

That rules out Starbucks, then.

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hplasm
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Devil

Lawyers and accountants will be going bankrupt by the million.

You say that like it is a bad thing...

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Windows boss Steve Sinofsky exits Microsoft

hplasm
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Happy

Re: 8almer

Nice one.

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iFixit CEO launches open Toshiba service guide scheme

hplasm
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Unhappy

Toshiba-

Hiding behind H&S?

It's spreading worldwide like a red weed...

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UK's planned copyright landgrab will spark US litigation 'firestorm'

hplasm
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Devil

How about

Royalites for Dickens novels ripped off by the US?

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EU approves push to get the unknown security in ARM chips into use

hplasm
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Devil

Re:should've made your calculation in Excel

or not, rather.

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'Perfect' INVISIBLE SHED stuns boffinry world

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Better make the shed rock-shaped, too.

Unfortunately the chameleon circuit is bust.

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Coders grill Herb Sutter on future of C++ at Microsoft

hplasm
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Meh

Hello?

"...World..."?

Doubt it.

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Star Wars VII: The Disney Movie signs Toy Story III script genius

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Star Wars VII: Rise of the Gungans!

Gungan Style ?

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Goatse.cx opens up again - as an email provider

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: I like the idea but...

Perhaps anyone who needs an addy for '"we will not pass on your details ..." signups. Why not for $5? Better than a spam raddled Hotmail account- if you can still get one...

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Microsoft Surface Touch keyboards self-destruct – and more

hplasm
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Happy

Re: But....

The Surface clicky-clicky one with the Glee types?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Why do you enjoy seeing other people have problems?

He's a designer at MS?

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Microsoft to biz: Just so you get off XP, we don't mind if you go Win 7

hplasm
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Devil

Windows To Go

What a nice headline that would make...

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Apple-v-Samsung $1bn iPhone fine: 'Jury foreman was biased'

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Since one US Jury was drunk or stoned through most of a case

As well as the Apple/Samsung one?

Outrageous!

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At last, a bionic arm that passes the Beer, Egg and Looks Cool tests

hplasm
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Happy

Re: This is what science and technology should be doing.

using a 'mouse'.... right...

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hplasm
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Re: Good stuff.

'Flesh coloured' plastic never is, looks creepy and scares kids.

Robot stuff, shiny or CF looks cool and not scary. Unless you are Sarah Connor, of course.

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: We've got a robot hand grasping a mans penis here!

Code word...or safe word?

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Habitable HEAVY GRAVITY WORLD found just 42 light-years away

hplasm
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Re: I don't need more gravity.

That's what we need! Artificial Levity!

wizz! (For Atomms)

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Apple is granted a patent on the rectangle. No, really

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: Why...

I shall invent a device to accelerate and collide lawyers and priests at relativistic speeds, and place it in the public domain.

I wonder what esoteric particles would be produced?

Suggestions on a postcard:-

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: a cat has had a go at the rectangle with its claws.

On an iPhone 5, yes- they look like that out of the factory, apparently.

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Japanese car nuts build racecars powered by shouting 'Brrrm! Brrrrrm!'

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Braking wind

Probably applied with a 'peddle'...

grr!

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Apple seeks cooling fan patent for iPhone, iPad

hplasm
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Happy

I shall-

patent the use of audio-output jack as a whistle.

*heard it here first*

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Medical scan record that the NHS says will cost £2k to retrieve: Detail

hplasm
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FAIL

"He's just looking for attention."

Said jm83, in a string of postings...

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What made us human? Being ARMED with lethal ranged weapons

hplasm
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Go

Re: "powerful, lethal ranged weapons is a vital part of what makes us human"

...what *keeps* us human is compassion and empathy.

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Apple iPad 4 Wi-Fi only tablet review

hplasm
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Re: I just got one for work

Now *that* is a Review.

Take note.

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Microsoft offers cut-price Win 8 PCs and fondletops to UK schools

hplasm
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Windows

Shape the future

“Give me the child for his first seven years and I'll give you the Microsoft User.”

Same Old.

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Microsoft mulls 'Xbox Surface' slate for games

hplasm
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Meh

Surface to Games Slate?

Remove keyboard.

How hard can it be?

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Apple iPad Mini 8in tablet review

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Sheltered Life

Don't sit under the Apple tree, with anyone else but i...

Sing along now!

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Apple's poisonous Touch silently kills the GNOMEs of Linux Forest

hplasm
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Happy

Re: XFCE

ok, just "ooo" then...

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Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Souse versus scrapple

hplasm
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Devil

Re: I'm proud of my kids as well

Social Services?

*Put them in the curry*

/Milligan Dalek Voice

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: cultural preferences

Always interesting are people who like things until they find out what they are- then they go off them.

Freud would have a field day...

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Yukk

Nah- cat food needs salt- which is really not! good for cats; otherwise...

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Felix Baumgartner sadly turns out to be blinkered FOOL

hplasm
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Trollface

Re: Usual whining drivel from the Reg's resident Victor Meldrew

Perhaps you shoud leave off the Red Bull.

And stop reading stories you know will make you rant.

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Nobody knows what to call Microsoft's ex-Metro UI

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Acro-monious

NUTS

Nobody Uses This Shit.

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hplasm
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Devil

or

Ftumch!

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: 20 Billion for this?

I agree- call it WTF?

That's what most people will say when they start to use it.

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El Reg acquires wildly dangerous laser cannon (with lightsabre option)

hplasm
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Unhappy

'a consumer'

Is that how you see yourself?

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hplasm
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Stop

Re: Is that really a good idea?.

You'd better be wearing hi-vis and carrying a clip board when you say that...

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