* Posts by hplasm

2658 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Blighty's schools shake on new 3-year deal with Microsoft

hplasm
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Meh

Re: alternatives

Oh No! Companies use computers not supplied by RM- our kids are doomed.

"What is the matter Miss Smith?" "Sorry sir, I can't send you that spreadsheet, the computers at school had grey keyboards, but the Company ones are black - I can't use them..."

Really...

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New tool jailbreaks Microsoft Surface slabs in 20 SECONDS

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Win 8 RT rooted

This 'love place' - are the cushioned walls chairproof?

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hplasm
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Windows

This is a whole different bucket of cod.

Still smells fishy though...

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Latest exoplanet discovery is a virtual CLONE of Earth

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Universal suburban neighborhood watch

Odd- that's just what they said...

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hplasm
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Alien

Re: May I be the first

Dasorians?

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Boffins develop microwave weed-zapper

hplasm
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Happy

Re: This isn't particularly innovative

I dunno- 80hp tractor wielding a +2500 microwave mace should be good in a melee against the Weed People...

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Review: HTC 8X Windows Phone 8 handset

hplasm
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Headmaster

"I reached out to HTC for clarification..."

'Reached out' - From Salford, not San Francisco?

GRRR!

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Just what the world needs: Android in the rice cooker

hplasm
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Happy

Re: The Windows rice cooker...

Raw potatoes though- where's the bloody start button?

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hplasm
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Re: I think the question we all want answered

No, but it does cook.

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Drop that can of sweet pop and grab a coffee - for your sanity's sake

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Caffeinated vs defcaf?

Only the mad would drink decaf.

I mean- like no-alchohol beer. Why?????

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Microsoft’s Asia-Pac head goes to post office

hplasm
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Devil

Rats leaving?

they're all getting proper jobs now...

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Microsoft burgled, only the APPLE iPADS stolen - cops confirm

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Nothing, they just thought it was cool to be seen with one !

They noticed they had gone, but thought they might come back after a reboot.

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'Not even Santa could save Microsoft's Windows 8'

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Failure / Supposition / Baseless waa waa here.

And then you awoke, and the MS bag of gold was just a dream.

Sad.

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Brazilian slammer guards nab mobe-smuggling CAT

hplasm
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Coat

Shurly-

Cat-Nav

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hplasm
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Re: cruel

It's bloody criminal...

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First rigid airship since the Hindenburg enters trials

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: How can this be viable@Mr Fuzzy

Make the outer envelope from kevlar and munitions will bounce off, often with a comedic 'boing!' sound.

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FTC clears Google in anticompetitive probe

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Off the hook...

Go Bing.

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MEGAGRAPH: 1983's UK home computer chart toppers

hplasm
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Happy

Re: wow

Tried using non solid lines on a graph. The liquid ones ran down to the bottom and the gaseous ones blew away...

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Apple supremo Tim Cook's pay packet SLASHED 99% in 2012

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Shark. Jumped.

"I've been reading The Register since around 2000-ish. "

And I'm still whining...

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2012: The year that netbooks DIED

hplasm
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Linux

Re: Netbooks were popular when they had Linux on them

I for one will never forgive MS for that.

And the rest.

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Steve Bong's 3D printing special Xmas showcase

hplasm
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Happy

New!

HP Skips Printer- from BongFoods

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Google to scan Chrome extensions, bans auto-install

hplasm
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Windows

Dur-

The posts about Surface are that-a-way...

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Brazilian-made 'iphone' runs Android 2.3 Gingerbread

hplasm
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Gimp

Re:AC

Only if you dress it up with iOS 6.

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Wikipedia doesn't need your money - so why does it keep pestering you?

hplasm
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Happy

Re: "I wonder how they resolved it"

Bought the world's dog food companies.

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High-powered luvvies given new radio home: 'But DON'T disturb the neighbours'

hplasm
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Happy

Re: The alternative view..

Have a look tomorrow night when live radar pictures of approaching doom are broadcast from Jodrell Bank...

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Little spider makes big-spider-puppet CLONE of itself out of dirt

hplasm
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Devil

Re: ummm

Wait. Wait until they produce metallic silk.... indestructable giant spider puppets.

Then panic.

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Former Windows boss Sinofsky lands Harvard teaching gig

hplasm
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Meh

Professor Sinofsky:

How to screw up a monopoly 101. (and get away with it)

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Boffins spot planet that could support life... just 12 light years away

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Nothing to stablilise it

Apart from the great big star right overhead,that is...

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Baby got .BAT: Old-school malware terrifies Iran with del *.*

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Frightened by del *.*?

Doesn't work.

++Out of Cheese Error++

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AFACT wants ushers to confront pirates

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: If fimlming in cinemas is such a problem ...

The Odeon chain does now!

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hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Babies in Cinema

Unfortunately they are heard, rather than seen.

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Polar drilling effort hits snag: Boffins' search for life put on ice

hplasm
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Happy

Oh Noes-

The ancient knowledge has been lost!

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Judge: There'll be no US Samsung ban, BUT no new trial with Apple either

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Isn't lying during void dire an offense by itself?

Blownded up, y'all.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: "void dire"

Missing curly brackets more like...

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Plasma boffins' POWERFUL wind now a key clue to fiery Sun

hplasm
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Happy

Yes-

But not Precious Tritium, just the normal stuff- so all is well.

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North Korea's satellite a dud, say US astroboffins

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Meanwhile Britain

No, I'm Lewis- and so is my wife...

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Shh! Proxima Centauri can hear us!

hplasm
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Happy

Re: 4 years from now

The mighty Sword of Talent is a myth- but let's send them anyway.

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Second Higgs possibility pops up in CERN data

hplasm
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Angel

Re: Twin peaks?

For the slack?

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'We are screwed!' Fonts eat a bullet in Microsoft security patch

hplasm
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Happy

So if the fonts are being patched ...

Does that mean that the Windows kernel is *all* patches now?

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Well just gone thorugh all the fonts on my web designer GF's machine.

Punchline:- she uses a Mac...

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iPad mini to outsell iPad, get Retina Display? iPad to slenderize?

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Steve-O was wrong, people do want a small tablet.

A little black one marked with a skull & crossbones to take when they realise they are trapped forever in the Walled Garden of Shiny ...

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Nancy Boys

Not a series of the adventures of a group of young hermaphrodite detectives then?

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hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: @ Jim in Hayward

Whilst I agree, I have seen it explained as:- "I could care less <but I can't be bothered>."

Which is quite annoying.

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Won't follow Apple Store rules? How 'bout an iTASER TREAT!

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: @Trevor Marron

AC -sounds like you are scared of little Chinese people, just like the big macho cops?

Diddums.

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Grinchy Google to shut down another batch of services

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Sigh...... "unloved and little-used services"

Isn't AOL still going?

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Next IPCC climate assessment due 2014 now everywhere online

hplasm
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Devil

Like any serial fiction

Each book is written years before release, to a pre-determined story arc.

Who'd have thunk it?

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NASA to smash its spacecraft INTO THE MOON

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: 5 days?

This 'crash' is of course a subtle fix for the woo-woo claims that "The moon keeps turning upside down!!"

www.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D7ABqxAd3V38&ei=fUTLUKmvGtKz0QXj1oG4Dg&usg=AFQjCNGFHTLRrIJaMW6n5BLzv98ohU-juA&bvm=bv.1355325884,d.d2k

oh dear...

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Stephen Hawking pushes for posthumous pardon for Alan Turing

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Why stop at Turing?

These are the sort of laws that arise when morals are based on tutting, handwringing and looking down the nose at society's 'undesirables'.

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John Lewis agrees to flog Microsoft's Surface RT tablets

hplasm
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Meh

Demand has been phenominal.

No demand is one phenomenon.

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