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* Posts by hplasm

2564 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Won't follow Apple Store rules? How 'bout an iTASER TREAT!

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: @Trevor Marron

AC -sounds like you are scared of little Chinese people, just like the big macho cops?

Diddums.

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Grinchy Google to shut down another batch of services

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Sigh...... "unloved and little-used services"

Isn't AOL still going?

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Next IPCC climate assessment due 2014 now everywhere online

hplasm
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Devil

Like any serial fiction

Each book is written years before release, to a pre-determined story arc.

Who'd have thunk it?

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NASA to smash its spacecraft INTO THE MOON

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: 5 days?

This 'crash' is of course a subtle fix for the woo-woo claims that "The moon keeps turning upside down!!"

www.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D7ABqxAd3V38&ei=fUTLUKmvGtKz0QXj1oG4Dg&usg=AFQjCNGFHTLRrIJaMW6n5BLzv98ohU-juA&bvm=bv.1355325884,d.d2k

oh dear...

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Stephen Hawking pushes for posthumous pardon for Alan Turing

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Why stop at Turing?

These are the sort of laws that arise when morals are based on tutting, handwringing and looking down the nose at society's 'undesirables'.

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John Lewis agrees to flog Microsoft's Surface RT tablets

hplasm
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Meh

Demand has been phenominal.

No demand is one phenomenon.

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NASA reveals secrets of Curiosity’s selfies

hplasm
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Happy

As usual-

The angle makes the rover look far more svelte that it actually is...

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Worldwide Gmail crash was due to Google Sync bug

hplasm
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Happy

Re: "There is WRONG in the cloud. "

"As if millions of raindrops suddenly cried out in terror.."

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North Korean rocket works, puts something into orbit

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: And in the West...

Virgin Galactic- yes indeed, and a private one at that; the Govt decided there was no future in space launching a long time ago, preferring to embark on a downward slope instead.

Good luck, Mr Branson- the Govt don't deserve the future.

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hplasm
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Unhappy

And in the West...

The UK slips down another notch in space launch history.

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Revealed: The Brit-built GRAVITY-powered light that costs $5

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Pedantry...

Not if you assemble it up a hill...

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Microsoft licence cops kick in TWICE as many customers' doors as rivals

hplasm
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Devil

So, Nom^3...

Either you admit MS are murdering extortionists, or you have lied to us.

When did you stop beating your wife?

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Bio-integrated circuitry melds man and machine

hplasm
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Terminator

Ultimate iDevice

"If you think about an iPhone," he said, "it's a wonderful tool, but what if you wanted to take this kind of device functionality and wrap it around your brain?"

Fanborg.

I'd call it a downgrade.

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Samba 4 arrives with full Active Directory support

hplasm
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Meh

Re: "does not need monthly critical vuln patching"

And how many reboots required?

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YES! It's the TARDIS PC!

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Time computers?

That would explain why the Doctor has to keep hitting it, and the showers of sparks.

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Microsoft Surface to hit third-party stores on Wednesday

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: I'm Confused

A Touch device that you can't touch...

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New transistor tech could beat silicon and save Moore's Law

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Molecular beam epitaxy

Indium Gallium Arsenide-ey implants?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: May I be the first to say....

"...for I believe in the Epitaxial growth, and the diffusion of Gallium. For ever and ever, Arsenide."

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'UK DNA database by stealth' proposed in £100m NHS project

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Is it just a Monday thing...

No, 77 was Sunset Strip.

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2020AD: Space tourists will be FOUND ON MOON

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Will the super-rich really go for this?

The only Billionaires who would want to go, are the ones who would probably provide the hardware anyway.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Ryan Air Are Doing It For £50

The Ryanair Moon flight lands in Florida- near enough to the Moon...

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China plans astro-farms on Mars

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Hi, Chinese Space Agency

Congratulations and Good Luck!

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Slash A THIRD off Surface RT price or it's toast, Microsoft told

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Anybody know what Surface does?

Clicks.

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Hero Playmonaut lost at sea as SPEARS ditches in Channel

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: fitting

wrong icon, methinks...

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hplasm
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Stop

Re: "tethered to the structure with a safety line"

SPB must not combine with H&S...

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hplasm
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Pirate

Re: RIP

Not so fast!

He's exploring the depths!

Onwards and downwards- yoho!

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Brr, feeling cold? Galaxy is home to plenty of WARMER Earth twins

hplasm
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Devil

Aha-

The more fossil fuels we use, the greater the percentage of unused radioactives in our crust; thus the climate warms!!

discuss...

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Chinese student fails job interview because of iPhone

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Remember when it was the fashion to leave a gap between your tie knot and collar?

Alice from Dilbert?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: "Working at our company is tough. It calls for someone who can take the pain and suffering."

"Where do I apply!"

Microsoft PR Dept.

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John McAfee 'captured'

hplasm
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Happy

Re: I bet he used ReiserFS

"The *chap* who wrote ReiserFS..."

That would be Reiser FFS!!

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Microsoft Security Essentials loses AV-TEST certification

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Get the commercial ones for free anyways..

The banks may dole them out for free, but I bet they don't use them internally.

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El Reg Movember lads sprout mighty Unix beards for cancer charity

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Great work raising the money...

Sounds like the BMJ see an unwelcome rise in men actually visiting their doctors for a change.

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Prisoner found with phone + charger in anal cavity

hplasm
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Happy

Was it star shaped?

Or Chocolate starfish shaped...

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HP boffin: Honey! I shrank the PC. To nanometre size, dammit

hplasm
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Happy

But-

Cache is £, surely?

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Microsoft claims Windows Phone sales up 300%

hplasm
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Devil

Re: So they sold...

"I said- you buy one, get three free!"

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Windows 8 launch outdoes Windows 7's, says Microsoft bigwig

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Oh dear

"No, they just needed a new machine."

Not quite- they just were told they needed one.

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Annual reviews: It's high time we rid the world of this insanity

hplasm
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Happy

Re: And this is why I'm an IT contractor

Nearly-

if the firm was making any money after the Chief's Bonuses are paid out they wouldn't have had to have the redundancies.

FTFY.

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Hotel blames burglaries on hacked Onity card locks

hplasm
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Happy

And

cougars behind the rest...

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Antarctic discovery: ALIEN LIFE may be FOUND ON MOON of Jupiter

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Everything is relative

But that means they exist at the temperature of molten ice! Outrageous!

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Bash Street bytes: Do UK schools really need the Raspberry Pi?

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Seriously!?

“So we’re going to spend five to ten minutes at the start of every lesson, and the same again at the end,getting out tools, sweeping up and putting things away again?"

Glad he wasn't my Woodwork teacher at school. Lazy git.

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Their One Year Mission: To boldly find the effects of null G on humans

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Couple

Re:PS Sounds like the plot of Saturn 3...

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Galapagos tortoise 'Lonesome George' might NOT be last of his kind

hplasm
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Happy

Re: What they really need...

No, No, the hard part is teaching them to climb ladders with a stiffy.

there you go.

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Girlfriend 'tried to MURDER ME with her AMPLE BREASTS'

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Death!

By boobie!

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Sandy Island does exist - on a 1908 chart

hplasm
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Happy

Gone, it be!

Global warming has melted it!

Or the ACID OCEAN has dissolved it!

Noes!!11

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Asteroid miners hunt for platinum, leave all common sense in glovebox

hplasm
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Pirate

Re: But there is no concept of private property.

Thus: SPACE PIRATES!!

Yarr! *beep*

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Pirate cops bust LITTLE GIRL, take her Winnie-the-Pooh laptop

hplasm
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Pirate

Re: demanded that to avoid prosecution he fork over €600…

...demanded that to avoid prosecution he fork over €600…

Sound like PIRATES to me.

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BlackBerry 10: AWESOME. If the hardware matches it, RIM jobs are safe

hplasm
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Happy

Looks good.

Android, Apple and Blackberry. Plenty of competition there.

Oh and that other one. Never mind.

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Mint Linux gifts Unity haters with 'Nadia' ... plus her Mate

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: How quaint

How quaint- it lives under a bridge, look!

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Barclays Bank buys 8,500 Apple iPads in one go

hplasm
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Meh

Re: capable of doing what the bank needs.

Ego polishing, pure and simple.

It's bloody Barclays.

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WIMP-seeking detector flooded

hplasm
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Happy

Re: How are they going to find dark matter underground?

Nightvision- that explains the photomultipliers.

The xenon is there to inhale and do Darth Vader impressions while they wait.

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