* Posts by hplasm

2657 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Tito's Mars mission to use HUMAN WASTE as radiation shield

hplasm
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Happy

Re: @Eadon If crap stops radiation in its tracks

Mr Young asked for the "It wasn't me" kid... the customer is king.

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Microsoft Surface Pro will land in UK in WEEKS*

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: I would buy one for the sole reason that it will annoy you.

Then it will annoy you, and you will be £1k down...

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Gosh

"so you would be buying something inferior.,"

A Surface Pro?

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So much noise on WinMob, but Microsoft's silent on lovely WinPhone

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: I'm not suprised

How can you have *fun* without a soul?

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hplasm
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Meh

Microsoft Marketing people

have souls?

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Super-fast super-massive black hole spins at nearly light-speed

hplasm
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Pint

These things-

should be the best place to find exotic matter and other space-time detritus such as we haven't a hope of replicating here. If there is an anti-gravity particle or a sub-ether wave to be found and harnessed, this is the place- if they aren't, well the future is going to be boring as Earth slowly goes back to the stone-age.

Beer- for optimism...

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Strategic SIEGE ROBOTS defeated by 'heavily intoxicated' man, 62

hplasm
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Terminator

Re: Alternative solution

Nutritional paste to the eye stalk or a fetching rubbery cloak over the top have proved to be effective in the past- or was it the future?

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Microsoft unwraps sysadmin-friendly Office 365 for biz update

hplasm
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Happy

"Facepalm because obviously..."

...Ex-Lax was taken.

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: The Preferred Business Model

Nobody wants it on those terms. Difficult for MS to stick it?

Too bad.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Pro Plus?!

A bit of an eye-opener...

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: TL:DR

It's Microsoft.

It's expensive.

It's value is debatable.

it smells fishy.

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Trekkies detect Spock's Vulcan homeworld ORBITING PLUTO

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Intollerable!

Bah!

That's Tesla's Aether Propeller!

What are they teaching in the schools these days? Indeed!!

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hplasm
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Joke

How about-

Coolio?

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Nokia wants to build the Google of human behaviour - and share it

hplasm
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Meh

This sounds familiar-

Wasn't this predicted to be happening... ooh about now?

All the 'tell us who your friends are and what you are doing and we'll tell you where your tribe is meeting' things that have been pushed forward up to now just don't catch on- nobody wants tracking to that extent- and nor will this.

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Stop saying 'Cyber Pearl Harbor,' RSA boss pleads

hplasm
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Happy

Surely if it's "Cyber" (!) anything

Then it should be "Perl Harbor" (Harbour).

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That Firefox OS mobe: The sorta phone left behind after a mugging

hplasm
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Meh

Graph with *3* lines on it

One for Windows Phone 8- it's not 'success'...

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India launch puts Canadian microsats into orbit

hplasm
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Coat

Re: "places the size of wales that you would never notice if they disappeared"

Wales?

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US insurer punts 'bestiality' to wide-eyed kiddies, gasp 'mums'

hplasm
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Devil

"right- minded citizens..."

As in "your mind is as closed as ours, right?"

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Fujitsu to get oldsters out the house and thoroughly caned

hplasm
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Unhappy

"...all that is missing is a mechanism to remind you why you went there in the first place..."

That's what I would want one for!

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Climate scientists link global warming to extreme weather

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: ...some cause, X...

That would be what enlightened souls have called *the Sun* for many millenia.

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Microsoft's own code should prevent an Azure SSL fail: So what went wrong?

hplasm
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Happy

Re: So if you want a good, stable Cloud coputing system do you choose:-

I think you mean MS are an Outlaw company...

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hplasm
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Devil

So if you want a good, stable Cloud coputing system do you choose:-

a. Microsoft, A 'Software Company' or

b. Amazon, a bookshop?

Answers on a Valid Certificate...

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Yahoo! and! Microsoft! have! long! way! to! go! in! account! hijack! fight!

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Microsoft and Yahoo! are way behind Google in search, clouds, etc too

Abu Hamza doesn't like Win8 Touch Screen kit for some reason.

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Open source port-a-thon brings Ubuntu to more phones, tablets

hplasm
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Linux

There's a storm coming-

Better board up your Windows.

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Best Buy takes axe to touchy Windows 8 PCs - lops $100 off price

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Customers are happier with Win8 touch-

Er- the customers are supposed to be happier with them- so how come they 'aren't aware' of the products?

Tut tut.

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hplasm
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FAIL

Customers are happier with Win8 touch-

So much that they aren't buying them, so we are dropping the price to make them happier, not to shift the things...

Riiiight...

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Itsy-bitsy Wi-Fi brings pay-by-bonk to all

hplasm
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Happy

PayPal

Bumpay?

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Linus Torvalds in NSFW Red Hat rant

hplasm
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Trollface

Re: Once again...

Point and laugh, everyone, point and laugh.

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Microsoft coughs up compensation for Azure cloud cock-up

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Is this new?

Azure- Blue Sky (What Was I ) Thinking...

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Quantum computer one step closer after ‘true’ quantum calculation

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: Meanwhile...

...a lab worker in one of Fort Meade's basements is reading this article and getting nostalgic for when they will at some time in the near future, manage to do this a few years ago...

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The cheap 3D craft pen that scribbles over 3D printing hype

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: There are basically two types of people on the world....

The coathanger in turn is the pupal stage of the shopping trolley.

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Microsoft latest to 'fess up to Java-based Mac attack

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Uh.. how do you think they write Office for Mac?

Half-heartedly.

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Is world's first space tourist Dennis Tito planning a trip to Mars?

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Buried on Mars

@Swarthy= Are you Mr Burns ? :)

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hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: He isn't walking on Mars...

Mars 8

Get your mission patch.

Mars 11, July 2019.......

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Council IT bod in the dock for flogging scrap work PC parts

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: Wee legal note

And if you don't fill your bin, but recycle it yourself- prepare for a fine- as it 'belongs' to the council to flog off, suddenly.

(There is a case of a 'green' farmer who fell foul of this but it's Friday so can't be arsed to find a link...)

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Ubuntu Preview alpha arrives for fondleslabs and phones

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: What about the fragmentation issue?

Who are you calling a fud?

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Google reveals Glass details in patent application

hplasm
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Happy

Re: I would guess...

You can pretty much guarantee someone will complain of eye strain right after putting them on.

Now Right Ear Strain from that big rectangular bit...

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Chromebook app launcher touted to Chrome browser users

hplasm
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WTF?

Re:This one

You think you are Jackie Chan?

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Drone quadracopters throw and catch inverted pendulum

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: BAE's "Gorgon Stare"?

Ahem- "Wikipedia says:"

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Bill Gates: 'Microsoft didn't MISS cell phone' bandwagon

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: El Presidente

Unfortunately it would probably be a waste of about £100M...

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New blow for Microsoft Surface: Touch Chromebooks 'on sale in 2013'

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Desktop Wars!!!!!

SithCo disagrees...

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Different kinds of products

Look, there's a dungfly buzzing around. Oh wait it's the fans in the Surface going nuts...

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hplasm
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WTF?

Re: Can someone please call

Scroll up? Or are you using a Surface?

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: I used to post crap like you... @hplasm

Sorry if you are reading it wrong, Try again.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Not sure what to make of the Surface

A skateboard?

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: I was GIVEN a Chromebook last year...

maybe it IS You...?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: What's a Microsoft Surface?

Shiny and bald, rounded- a bit sweaty.

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Hipsters have spoken: Microsoft is 'hip to be square'

hplasm
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Devil

"One hundred percent of all Xboxes go to the consumers..."

...54.2% come back again.

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Google takes Chromebook upmarket with touchy-feely Pixel

hplasm
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Windows

Re: 3:2

No.

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: Seriously

Seriously?Are you 12?

But I agree- the Surface is pile of shite.

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