Feeds

* Posts by hplasm

2536 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

They didn't predict that: Astrologers! blamed! after! Yahoo! hack!

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Where's Eadon?

Obvious MS flaw is obvious.

You don't need Eadon for that.

0
0

WTO ruling emboldens pirates of the Caribbean

hplasm
Silver badge
Pirate

Yarr!

Why not!

1
0

Worst broadband notspots in the UK named and shamed

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Ah- Dudley

Jewel in Telewest's crown...

1
0

My top tip for Microsoft: Stop charging for Windows Phone 8

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: My top tip for Microsoft.

"I've developed on Solaris and Windows but never Linux."

Hardly a catalogue of success, are you?

1
2

Filter Great Firewall of China's architects at US borders - petition

hplasm
Silver badge
Headmaster

"wish you weren't hear..."

We wish you were deaf?

4
0

Don't like your cell network? Legal unlocking ends TONIGHT in US

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: American law does not acknowledge the existence of the phablet.

Tablerone.

4
0

Meet قلب, the programming language that uses Arabic script

hplasm
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: What bollocks

"Oh look I just farted, make it two."

Only another 13 minutes of fame left, then.

0
0

Sympathetic Scots scoff-house offers hard-up Apple fanbois a discount

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

100% extra charge ...

...and poor service for WinPho 8 users.

1
1

Asteroid mining and a post-scarcity economy

hplasm
Silver badge
Pirate

Re: hmm

I agree with Thorne, although it might make sense to start smaller by mining the dead satellites and other space junk first, for practice, and to clear up the junk; they are easier to get to and their positions are well known.

Space Salvage- nearly Yarr! so

<++

4
0

Raytheon to build low-orbit, disposable satellites for DARPA

hplasm
Silver badge
Terminator

Re: The Bic lighter of surveillance. Nice!

Counter? More like a target.

Wake me up when these are the size of a grape and can accelerate at 10G- I'll be zipped up in the acceleration tank...

0
1
hplasm
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: $48M a Pop

Though if it saves lives money should not matter."

Hahahah. Save lives. Good one.

12
0

Chinese boffins crack cloaking tech for camouflage

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: In aircraft combat how useful is this?

Sir, we have 3 birds on radar... they're flying at mach 2...

Meep!Meep!

3
0

Swartz suicide won't change computer crime policy, says prosecutor

hplasm
Silver badge

Re: I wouldn't dare visit America!

"Overreact much?"

OOh! Are you one of the Popular Girls?

6
0

Hydrogen on demand from silicon nanospheres - just add water

hplasm
Silver badge
Boffin

Re: I am not a chemist

Which is, in fact, the by-product. Where do you think the O2 goes?

0
0

IBM brains ponder universe, say kids will go nuts for STEAMPUNK

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: @Psyx

Or Steam Powered Giraffe...

1
0

NASA sends Mona Lisa into space by LASER

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: @It's not radio, it's laser

Bah. 'Tis all Wireless.

0
0

Google pulls 'racist' Make Me Asian app

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Krusty the Clown springs to mind

"With his flapping dickie..."

Enough of this Savile inuendo!

2
0

Microsoft's ARM blunder: 7 reasons why Windows RT was DOA

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: You can't polish a turd.

How apt on a Surface/WinRt thread!

0
0

Engineers are cold and dead inside, research shows

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Psycho-types, however-

See people as puzzles to be dissected without mercy, and love nothing better that the feel of squeezing brain matter as it oozes between their cruel fingers.

1
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Doctors caring & empathetic?

"My better half is an anesthetist..."

And your other half posts on here...

7
0

Security audit finds dev OUTSOURCED his JOB to China to goof off at work

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Fallen star

Security people don't have friends, just risk lists....

1
0

NRA: Video games kill people, not guns. And here's our video game

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

The NRA .....

Going on the offensive because they are offensive

3
0

Microsoft to give free TV ad to top-voted Windows Phone 8 app

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

A TV advert

For cyanogenmod would be interesting indeed...

4
0

Titsup Windows Phone 8 orders user to cram 'boot disc' in mobe

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: True innovation

That's what the big Tiles are hiding...

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Demonstrates that Windows NT code still lurks under the surface of Windows Phone 8

That's the whole POINT of W8 that it is built on a crippled PC kernel for the first time, not a crippled CE/mobile OS like WP 7.5.

FTFY.

1
2
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Lol.Here is how it works...

You certaiinly don't work for Microsoft, then.

0
0

Bubble baron treats Space Station crew to blowup model

hplasm
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Re: Nothing New

Indeed- see Icon....

Another Balloon that has absorbed a lot of Hotel Tycoon's money- but of far less use...

0
3

White House rejects Death Star petition: '$850qn too pricey'

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: This

Them's not bears- them's Wookies, an' the little onesa Ewoks...

/JarJar

4
0

Blighty's schools shake on new 3-year deal with Microsoft

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: alternatives

Oh No! Companies use computers not supplied by RM- our kids are doomed.

"What is the matter Miss Smith?" "Sorry sir, I can't send you that spreadsheet, the computers at school had grey keyboards, but the Company ones are black - I can't use them..."

Really...

0
0

New tool jailbreaks Microsoft Surface slabs in 20 SECONDS

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Win 8 RT rooted

This 'love place' - are the cushioned walls chairproof?

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

This is a whole different bucket of cod.

Still smells fishy though...

3
0

Latest exoplanet discovery is a virtual CLONE of Earth

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Universal suburban neighborhood watch

Odd- that's just what they said...

0
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Alien

Re: May I be the first

Dasorians?

1
0

Boffins develop microwave weed-zapper

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: This isn't particularly innovative

I dunno- 80hp tractor wielding a +2500 microwave mace should be good in a melee against the Weed People...

0
0

Review: HTC 8X Windows Phone 8 handset

hplasm
Silver badge
Headmaster

"I reached out to HTC for clarification..."

'Reached out' - From Salford, not San Francisco?

GRRR!

1
0

Just what the world needs: Android in the rice cooker

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: The Windows rice cooker...

Raw potatoes though- where's the bloody start button?

7
0
hplasm
Silver badge

Re: I think the question we all want answered

No, but it does cook.

0
0

Drop that can of sweet pop and grab a coffee - for your sanity's sake

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Caffeinated vs defcaf?

Only the mad would drink decaf.

I mean- like no-alchohol beer. Why?????

5
0

Microsoft’s Asia-Pac head goes to post office

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Rats leaving?

they're all getting proper jobs now...

1
1

Microsoft burgled, only the APPLE iPADS stolen - cops confirm

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Nothing, they just thought it was cool to be seen with one !

They noticed they had gone, but thought they might come back after a reboot.

0
0

'Not even Santa could save Microsoft's Windows 8'

hplasm
Silver badge
Gimp

Re: Failure / Supposition / Baseless waa waa here.

And then you awoke, and the MS bag of gold was just a dream.

Sad.

8
5

Brazilian slammer guards nab mobe-smuggling CAT

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Shurly-

Cat-Nav

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge

Re: cruel

It's bloody criminal...

3
0

First rigid airship since the Hindenburg enters trials

hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: How can this be viable@Mr Fuzzy

Make the outer envelope from kevlar and munitions will bounce off, often with a comedic 'boing!' sound.

4
0

FTC clears Google in anticompetitive probe

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Off the hook...

Go Bing.

2
2

MEGAGRAPH: 1983's UK home computer chart toppers

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: wow

Tried using non solid lines on a graph. The liquid ones ran down to the bottom and the gaseous ones blew away...

5
0

Apple supremo Tim Cook's pay packet SLASHED 99% in 2012

hplasm
Silver badge
Gimp

Re: Shark. Jumped.

"I've been reading The Register since around 2000-ish. "

And I'm still whining...

1
1

2012: The year that netbooks DIED

hplasm
Silver badge
Linux

Re: Netbooks were popular when they had Linux on them

I for one will never forgive MS for that.

And the rest.

4
1

Steve Bong's 3D printing special Xmas showcase

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

New!

HP Skips Printer- from BongFoods

1
0