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* Posts by hplasm

2603 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Scan your branes LIVE IN REAL-TIME, thanks to GPU-surfin' boffins

hplasm
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Boffin

Sigh.

Recently- 'Speak you're Branes' (ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/)

As any fule kno.

Kids today...

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Spanish Linux group files antitrust complaint against Microsoft

hplasm
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Mushroom

RedmondRoller.

I agree. Take it and go.

Then the EU can revoke copyright on the crap.

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Experts agree: Your next car will be smarter than you

hplasm
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Devil

AUDI-

It's German for ADHD.

(Not really...)

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Microsoft LOVES YOU: Free Wi-Fi on the British railways for a month

hplasm
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Devil

Office 365 vs British Railways

Most reliable? Discuss.

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Next from Microsoft: 'Blue', the Windows 8 they hope you don't hate

hplasm
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Happy

Re: I like W8.

Lose W8. For your future health.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re:King Zongo

i think you're confusing Eadon with 'Clueless Wintards'.

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Microsoft splashes coat of paint on Windows 8 comms apps

hplasm
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Meh

Re: That is work, not life.

"improvements to your Windows experience"

I draw your attention to the above, and restate- the only improvement would be it's absence.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Re-arrange the following words

Like putting a pig under lipstick. Fool the masses...

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hplasm
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Meh

"improvements to your Windows experience across your whole life"

Only if I didn't have to use it.

Mr LeBlanc talks some utter donkeyballs.

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Roomba dust-bust bot bods one step closer to ROBOBUTLERS

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Needs to be housewife proof

Then it would need to be connected to a massive bank of other computers- possibly all of them- to do Female Logic

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hplasm
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Happy

The ability-

To tell the difference between Pringles and toilet paper is paramount in a Robo-butler; unless you have a penchant for that sort of thing...

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No Skype traffic released to cops or spooks, insists Microsoft

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Only believe a rumour

Blimey- what a knob AC!

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iPads in education: Not actually evil, but pretty close

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Loads of artists just fat brushes!

Just try calling one that...

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hplasm
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Meh

*IT as in

I have a copy of the IT curriculum.

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Branson, Berners-Lee, Google, £2m: LET'S SAVE THE WORLD

hplasm
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Meh

Re: it's life or death to some poor wretch!

The chief exec of a UK charity?

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Furious Stephen Fry blasts 'evil' Reg and 'TW*T' Orlowski

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: GPS

Sometimes 'Lies to children' are necessary.

hat-tip to Mr Pratchett.

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Help save the endangered QUANTUM OWL, pleads Reg man

hplasm
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Unhappy

argh!

The RI server is down- hopefully the Slashdot effect of lots of people with money!

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Dongle smut Twitstorm claims second scalp

hplasm
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Megaphone

and

Keep your nose out of other peoples private conversations you nosey git!

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Oi, Microsoft, where's my effin' toolbar gone?

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Probably a memory issue

So 640k is NOT enough for Word? Seems like an MS problem right enough...

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hplasm
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Windows

Word.

People pay for this crap. (The sw, not the article).

Hilarious (Life, and the article).

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Movie, TV ads annoying? You ain't seen nothin' yet

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Clever people make. Clever people break!

I'd buy that for a dollar!

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Virgin Media boss to Osbo: Bung city fibre cash into small biz

hplasm
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Meh

Well

VM cable is already FTTC- just wait; as soon as the new BT cab fills up, it will slow to a crawl too.

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Researcher sets up illegal 420,000 node botnet for IPv4 internet map

hplasm
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Meh

Re: This is why they make prisons

I agree- Jail for all AC posters.

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National Security Letters ruled unconstitutional

hplasm
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Re: The US had a regime change.

Some wrinkly Sith Senator got thrown down a shaft?

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New nuke could POWER WORLD UNTIL 2083

hplasm
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Re: Thorium is not next to worthless. It has a negative value.

let's get fracking, and I can make a killing on gas mantles!

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We shall CRUSH you, puny ROBOT... with CHESS

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Clever stuff!

...polish [your|you're] [armor|armour] for free.

Int'l version...

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Drunk driving: No more dangerous than talking on handsfree mobe

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: Texting whilst driving leads to arrest

It's an Animal Farm reference.

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eBay: Our paid Google advertising was a total waste of money

hplasm
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Happy

Re:@Lockwood: How big was it?

One.

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Microsoft unveils even more tempting Kinect offering: Open source

hplasm
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Holmes

... Guinness World Record for fastest selling consumer electronics device:

I knew I should have got one when they came out- £25 in Asda... aha

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Self-healing chips survive repeated LASER BLASTS

hplasm
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Re: Ivor Catt should get a mention

Ouida Dogg, I seem to recall...

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Rise Of The Machines: What will become of box-watchers, delivery drivers?

hplasm
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Devil

Re: I for one welcome our new driverless cars

d) is the answer- driverless bicycles.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: But How

It won't knock. Or indeed arrive- you will get an email saying "You were out..."

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Microsoft backs law banning Google Apps from schools

hplasm
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Re: So MS lobbying to protect their cash cow and keep Google out

That explains the Bear- he's Temporary Pope.

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Google's Wi-Fi sniffing to result in $7 million fine

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Rewardomg Bad Behaviour

You stuff a mouse up it's trunk.

Then run.

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Seattle drinking den bans Google Glass geeks

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Hmmm..

Whatever next - no droids?

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BAN SMUT, rage MEPs: Purpose of internet must be EXTERMINATED

hplasm
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Facepalm

Really?

You can't make up stuff like this- unless the EU pay you to.

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Georgia Tech proposes terabit NFC antenna

hplasm
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Boffin

How about

An orbiting THz telescope? Might be interesting stuff to see (not just alien videos...).

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BRITAIN MUST DECLARE WAR on Cervinaean menace

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Can we have some bears too?

o mi?

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Next Windows 8 version can ditch bits of Metro

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Making Windows 8 look like Windows 7 isn't a climbdown?

"...at least seriously read a book..."

Isn't that splitting an infinitive?

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Making Windows 8 look like Windows 7 isn't a climbdown?

Apple generate a Reality Distortion field.

Microsoft just use a really big hammer.

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'Million-strong' zombie army devours Raspberry Pi's crunchy base

hplasm
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Re: Open Letter

I second Botty Lord for the wazzocks behind botnets!

Or Botti Boi...

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Carrie Fisher dusts off THAT bikini for Star Wars VII

hplasm
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Happy

Re: "Elderly"?

When 400 years old she is, look so good, she will not...

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Bank whips out palm-recognition kit - and a severed hand won't work

hplasm
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Happy

Re: I wonder how they tested the "will not work with a severed hand" part.

I can do better than that, I can give you Fifteen!

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Cruel Microsoft will drive us into arms of iOS, Android, warn resellers

hplasm
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Windows

Re: MS is squeezing the enterprise and channel

Don't confuse Popular with Endemic.

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SpaceX Dragon eventually snared by ISS

hplasm
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Happy

Re: It's rocket _engineering_ that's difficult.

But Rocket Surgery- that's a right swine...

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Tito's Mars mission to use HUMAN WASTE as radiation shield

hplasm
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Happy

But-

does crap even stick to aerogel?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: @Eadon If crap stops radiation in its tracks

Mr Young asked for the "It wasn't me" kid... the customer is king.

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Microsoft Surface Pro will land in UK in WEEKS*

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: I would buy one for the sole reason that it will annoy you.

Then it will annoy you, and you will be £1k down...

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Gosh

"so you would be buying something inferior.,"

A Surface Pro?

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So much noise on WinMob, but Microsoft's silent on lovely WinPhone

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: I'm not suprised

How can you have *fun* without a soul?

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