* Posts by hplasm

4146 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

NEW ERA for HUMANITY? NASA says something 'major' FOUND ON MARS

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Come on..

"Actually, the Pope is very open to the possibility of alien life."

Theeeee SpacePope!!

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hplasm
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Re: It'll be a rock

"No, socks are the pupa stage of coat hangers"

Which are in turn the larval stage of shopping carts.

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SAUCY INCEST and brutal VIOLENCE boosts UK space sector

hplasm
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Unhappy

GoT notwithstanding-

Isn't it sad that bloody Sky counts as a major part of the UK's 'space' industry.

It's a bit like claiming Matchbox as one of the world's most prolific car makers.

(Unfair to compare Matchbox to Murdochsat, but it's all I could come up with... which is also sad.)

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VW: Just the tip of the pollution iceberg. Who's to blame? Hippies

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: re: I still don't understand the irrational fear of nuclear power though.

"just bury it in the ground so it poisons our children"

Why are your children underground?

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KARMA POLICE: GCHQ spooks spied on every web user ever

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Hello...

"Come and help figure out how."

Do you have a large box of 'V' masks?

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hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Meanwhile, back in the real world....

Who says who is a crim, and who isn't, eh...

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PETA monkey selfie lawsuit threatens wildlife photography, warns snapper at heart of row

hplasm
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Facepalm

How will PETA-

prove that, should they win, every penny in damages goes to the monkey?

Cupid Stunts.

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Homeland Security in CYBER POPE 'net chatter-check bulk up

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Not to belittle people of faith.. but

OOk!

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Only paying for Microsoft software that you use? It's coming

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Already happening here

"Yep. $0.00 and worth every cent."

So you run everything MS has ever made?

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Microsoft Office 2016 for Windows: The spirit of Clippy lives on

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Not available

"Yeah..."

That's what you get for running OO on a Surface.

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hplasm
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Devil

Overall-

Still the dog's dinner, rather than the dog's bollocks, then?

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It's 2015 and a text file can hack your Apple Watch. IS THIS THE FUTURE YOU WANTED?

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Sounds like previous version was garbage.

"...careful redo from scratch."

Doesn't he live in Ankh-Morpork now? I didn't know he did iStuff development...

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It's alive! Farmer hides neglected, dust-clogged server between walls

hplasm
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Re: H.P. BOFHcraft: "The HP Servers in the Wall"

This does, of course, demand a book...

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China launches 'pollution-free' rocket

hplasm
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Boffin

Pollution free?

Kerosene? Surely LOX and LH are the most pollution free.

Excluding whatever Carbon Boots are used to produce the liquids in the first place, natch.

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Doctor Who storms back in fine form with Season 9 opener The Magician's Apprentice

hplasm
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Meh

Re: UPDATE!

Sheep went to X-factor.

Baaa.

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Microsoft to splurge $75m on computer training for kids

hplasm
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Windows

Re: $75 M? Not so much a donation...

"...so they think they're an important majority and are always shocked it turns out that there are actually only nineteen of them."

Sounds like commentards to me- the ones that are M$ apologists...

(That $ was funny, 20 years ago, when Microsoft were relevant. These days not so much. But still funny enough- it makes foam-flecked spittle marks on Surface screens...)

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SPACED OUT: NASA's manned Orion podule pushed back to 2023

hplasm
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Facepalm

"...you can send an amazeball fuckload (that's a technical term) of machines."

Good idea. You could call them Wall-E or something. No, don't get up...

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hplasm
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Meh

"Astronauts will fly for the first time on EM-2

EM-2 - Elon Musk 2, by SpaceX.

Help us, Elon Musk- you're our only hope... - NASA Astronauts

51 years! Fingers out, NASA!!

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Windows RT gets new Start menu – but no Cortana or Win 10 apps

hplasm
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Coat

Personal Touch.

The update was delivered to each RT user in person, together with a fruit basket.

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Ahmed's clock wasn't a bomb, but it blew up the 'net and Zuckerberg, Obama want to meet him

hplasm
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Re: 0iq

"0iq"

I'm having that term, thanks!

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What Reg readers really think will affect IT in the next three years...

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

The meteoric plunge

of Windows?

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Arctic summer ice cover is 31st HIGHEST EVER RECORDED

hplasm
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Happy

Re: This again?

"there's money to be made in poking easily-offended people with a sharp stick."

Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. As long as it doesn't contain noisy ads."

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: This again?

"There's no conceivable evidence..."

That seems to be the problem with all of this AGW stuff.

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Uber is killing off iconic black cabs, warns Zac Goldsmith

hplasm
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Meh

No black cabs?

What will Britain London do?

As a wise man once said:- "Oh dear. How sad. Never mind."

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Wi-Gig signals are bouncing off the walls, can't settle on the sofa

hplasm
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Holmes

Ah but-

It's not about the tech- it's about flogging off the spectum that is freed up.

Follow the £££.

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WARM, WOBBLING MOON believed to hide MOIST CRADLE of life

hplasm
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Happy

Re: no pithy comment.

...raises one eyebrow.

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Microsoft's 'anti-malware Device Guard' in Windows 10: How it works, what you need

hplasm
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Devil

Re: @AC - WTF, Mark!

"Why have the software there and maintain it, then?"

Lazy coding- it is MS after all.

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The ONE WEIRD TRICK which could END OBESITY

hplasm
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Childcatcher

Personal anti-favourite-

Adding a bag of crisps to a hydrogenated-oil snadwitch and a can of fizzy sugar does not make it a "meal".

Making portions smaller means that fatties will buy two.

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Brown kid with Arab name arrested for bringing home-made clock to school

hplasm
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Facepalm

Time-

to take all modern technology from these cops.They don't understand it. Let them live in the dark ages that they so fear.

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Viper sinks fangs into unwary Indian farmer's todger

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Milder hazards in England

You must have missed the educational video...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wW6rENTfaU

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Disney's light-bulb moment: build TCP into LEDs for IoT comms

hplasm
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Happy

What make you think-

a) The flicker is due to the lightning? *

b) The flicker is not due to the 'kill all humans with lightning' signal?

* That's what they want you to think...

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Don't want to upgrade to Windows 10? You'll download it WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT

hplasm
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Mushroom

SYN packets?

You would need to do it ANONYMOUSly...

Where's the BatSignal icon when you need it?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: we need a class action lawsuit ...

"Were did 7-10GB come from?"

Microsoft. Do try and keep up, 007!

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hplasm
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Re: All praise the glorious prophet Eadon!

RegStuff T-Shirt!!

Eadon Was Right!

on the front!

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Don't ya just hate it when...

"Utter irrationality is not a good start for IT."

true- it ends up with people 'never get fired for buying MS'

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: oh nos!

Now you know it doesn't have good mouse drivers yet, don't you?

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hplasm
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Pirate

Re: Something Missing

A 3Gb unwanted use of your bandwidth? People should consider billing MS for stealing their connectivity. It's like 'piracy' - Win10 is 'like a cancer'... (ooo deja vu!)

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WinPhone community descends into CANNIBALISM and WOE

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Should be a new build of Windows 10 mobile today

You forgot to mention the free packet of unicorn farts!

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Let's NUKE MARS to make it more like home says Elon Musk

hplasm
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Happy

Re: The chances of anything coming from earth are a million to one he said.

"... it's better done using a critical pile releasing a lot of heat continuously..."

There's a documentary about this very thing-http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100802/

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Microsoft names September 22nd as the date for Office party

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Bilbo Baggins

The start of a long arduous trip into a land of dark evil?

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iPhone 6 gives bloke 'painful, lumpy' skin condition in trouser storage

hplasm
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Happy

It's forming a battery!

He's one electrode, the fruitmobe the other, and the sweaty pocket cloth is the electrolyte.

He should find a way to us it to charge the phone- with the battery life of iThings as it is, they'll be queueing up to get a rashy leg if it doesn't mean they have to carry a charger around...

Or is this a case of iBalls?

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End mass snooping and protect whistleblowers, MEPs yell at EU

hplasm
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Trollface

Re: Reality theater

"Snowden will be held accountable for his damage to society."

And Anonymous Cowards will be rounded up and sent to gulags for their re-education.

Your point, again?

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Ubuntu Wily gaggle builds 15.10 beta beachhead

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: "No Dibble or Grub"

"Trumpton...."

whoosh?

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It's still 2015, and your Windows PC can still be pwned by a webpage

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: It's 2015...

"...and I still haven't seen any time-travelling DeLoreans flying around our skies."

Doc Brown did insist on trying Win 10 to control the flux-capacitor. He was wrong about the Libyans, and he was wrong about that.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Hmm

"Long gone are the days of blindly trusting MS..."

Just after DOS 6 then?

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Windows 10 to grow up, turn extra enterprise-y beginning this month

hplasm
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Joke

Re: I'm linking rollout to a h/w refresh

"But all (I hope) of the "telemetry" can be disabled via registry changes,..."

Hope is always good on your CV...

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: I'm linking rollout to a h/w refresh

"I've pencilled in 2,000 users in my organisation..."

Jeez- do you even need to pay extra for Notepad in Win 10?

Still - remember what they did to Mussolini...

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NASA wants to send HEDGEHOGS to Mars

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Damn...

"...eyethankewe"

Hence resistant to alien 'probing'...

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French woman gets €800 a month for electromagnetic-field 'disability'

hplasm
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Stop

Well-

If they feel they must award money for this, then there should be a condition; it must be spent on psychiatric treatment.

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Windows 10 now on 75 million devices, says Microsoft

hplasm
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FAIL

Are you the replacement anti-eadon?

You're not very good, are you?

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