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* Posts by hplasm

2635 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Internet Explorer makes modest gains against Google Chrome

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: Meanwhile in the DPRK...

Kim Jong-Un uses drugs...

Distilled from the tears of the NK people...

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Will Google's rivals swallow the 'labelling remedy' pill?

hplasm
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FAIL

Great.

Harrison Bergeron comes to the internet.

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Wales slams Amazon over lack of Kindle support

hplasm
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Meh

Re: The welsh lobby

A BBC programme that wasn't London-centric. That must have been a shock, alright.

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LOHAN chap to launch Raspberry Pi eye in the sky

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Pi. High.

Touch the sky!

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Microsoft Xbox exec quits after ENRAGING the INTERWEBS

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Holier than thou wankers

Shutit, Orth.

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Foot-long slab too big? Microsoft 'has a 7-incher' to stroke

hplasm
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Meh

New ads!

Higher pitched clicking!

Dancing midgets!

Now with extra WTF!

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Hard luck lads, todger size DOES matter: Official

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Also

That's not very wide!

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Microsoft follows Apple into the dock over warranty terms in China

hplasm
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Meh

I would lay odds-

That there will be very few Surfaces about in two years, alive or dead.

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Microsoft squashes 9 bugs with Patch Tuesday fixes

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: "Plugs holes in IE10"

" I'm not putting myself, my family or my employer at risk in any way by posting on the Internet."

Just by espousing Windows...

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Climate change set to bumpify transatlantic flights, say researchers

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Excuse me, I need to paper the shelves in my kitchen cabinets.

The Sun's output has nothing to do with climate- the IPCC said so!

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Microsoft leads charge against Google's Android in EU antitrust complaint

hplasm
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Windows

Ha!

Cheeky Bastards!

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BT boss barks at TalkTalk for being 'copper Luddites'

hplasm
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Boffin

Nearly

BT fibre to the cab, as do VM- the it's BT cooper to the house, and VM run 2x copper pairs for phone lines and co-ax for broadband/TV, all in one cable.

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Windows XP support ends a year from … now!

hplasm
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Happy

Re: "Windows XP dies a year from … now!"

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh XP T'urtle's wgah'nagl fhtagn

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Website which 'could have prevented Rwandan genocide' goes live

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: Nonsense

Sounds like a job for... Zombie Thatcher.

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Hold on! Degrees for all doesn't mean great jobs for all, say profs

hplasm
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Happy

Re: How Victorian.

Close but only banana/2 for you...

Those who can, do.

Those who can learn to pass tests, teach.

Those without clues become the rulers...

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Microsoft: 'Facebook Home just copies Windows Phone'

hplasm
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Windows

is it a fan? is it a boy?

Sadly, both.

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hplasm
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Happy

Dwarf Linux

Like DSL* , but with a beard.

* Damn Small Linux, for the unanointed.

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Android's US market share continues to slip

hplasm
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Happy

Re: The real success story ...

Nokia are pining for the fjords!

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Microsoft's developer conference sells out at $2,095 per head

hplasm
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Happy

Re: If You Don't Like The Surface...

And leave with a nasty infection.

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Steve Jobs' 'spaceship' threatened by massive cost overruns

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Honestly

Area=1 iDonut

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Tech is the biggest problem facing archiving

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: No archive

"Is required to have..." is not the same as "need to have..."

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Federal lawyers, MIT threatened following Aaron Swartz' death

hplasm
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Happy

Re: And two rights don't make a wrong

Three rights do make a left, though.

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Copyright troll Prenda refuses to explain legal strategy

hplasm
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FAIL

Thanks for your input.

Back to work Dredd.

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Microsoft's summer update will be called Windows 8.1

hplasm
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Devil

Re: 8.1? but then what would they call 8.3?

I Can't Believe It's Still Crap!

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How the iPad ruined the lives of IT architects

hplasm
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Devil

A testing!

iPad vs Fryingpan.

iPad can have the first swing.

Let the games commence!

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Rocket boffinry in pictures: Gulp the Devil's venom and light a match

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: I aim for the stars

More likely that UK politicians are denser than a dwarf star and more myopic than cave fish.

And greedy- don't forget. Short term wins over long term every time.

Bastards.

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Congress plans to make computer crime law much, much worse

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Pick & choose laws

I think they only come in one type now- competition has been eliminated.

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Microsoft says WinPhone outselling iPhone, BlackBerry

hplasm
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Windows

Re: How to LIE witih selective STATISTICS

We will be successful with WinPhone. We are successful with all of our major investments. We have time, money and experience on our side. We are Borg.

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Pyongyang Photoshop tomfoolery shows wet Norks, skirts blown up

hplasm
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Happy

Yes

A big one and a slightly smaller but otherwise identical one.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: i can't see the obvious fakery either

second wave (clone of clones brush) has 16 hovercraft. And so on.

That's a lot of eels!

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Forget the invisibility cloak: Boffins invent INVISIBILITY FISHNETS

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Invisiblity fishnets

"I can't feel my legs!"

"What legs?"

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Wealthy London NIMBYs grit teeth, welcome 'ugly' fibre cabinets

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Abusing the legislation

In a word- Cantenna!

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Scan your branes LIVE IN REAL-TIME, thanks to GPU-surfin' boffins

hplasm
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Boffin

Sigh.

Recently- 'Speak you're Branes' (ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/)

As any fule kno.

Kids today...

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Spanish Linux group files antitrust complaint against Microsoft

hplasm
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Mushroom

RedmondRoller.

I agree. Take it and go.

Then the EU can revoke copyright on the crap.

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Experts agree: Your next car will be smarter than you

hplasm
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Devil

AUDI-

It's German for ADHD.

(Not really...)

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Microsoft LOVES YOU: Free Wi-Fi on the British railways for a month

hplasm
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Devil

Office 365 vs British Railways

Most reliable? Discuss.

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Next from Microsoft: 'Blue', the Windows 8 they hope you don't hate

hplasm
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Happy

Re: I like W8.

Lose W8. For your future health.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re:King Zongo

i think you're confusing Eadon with 'Clueless Wintards'.

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Microsoft splashes coat of paint on Windows 8 comms apps

hplasm
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Meh

Re: That is work, not life.

"improvements to your Windows experience"

I draw your attention to the above, and restate- the only improvement would be it's absence.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Re-arrange the following words

Like putting a pig under lipstick. Fool the masses...

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hplasm
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Meh

"improvements to your Windows experience across your whole life"

Only if I didn't have to use it.

Mr LeBlanc talks some utter donkeyballs.

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Roomba dust-bust bot bods one step closer to ROBOBUTLERS

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Needs to be housewife proof

Then it would need to be connected to a massive bank of other computers- possibly all of them- to do Female Logic

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hplasm
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Happy

The ability-

To tell the difference between Pringles and toilet paper is paramount in a Robo-butler; unless you have a penchant for that sort of thing...

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No Skype traffic released to cops or spooks, insists Microsoft

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Only believe a rumour

Blimey- what a knob AC!

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iPads in education: Not actually evil, but pretty close

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Loads of artists just fat brushes!

Just try calling one that...

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hplasm
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Meh

*IT as in

I have a copy of the IT curriculum.

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Branson, Berners-Lee, Google, £2m: LET'S SAVE THE WORLD

hplasm
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Meh

Re: it's life or death to some poor wretch!

The chief exec of a UK charity?

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Furious Stephen Fry blasts 'evil' Reg and 'TW*T' Orlowski

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: GPS

Sometimes 'Lies to children' are necessary.

hat-tip to Mr Pratchett.

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Help save the endangered QUANTUM OWL, pleads Reg man

hplasm
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Unhappy

argh!

The RI server is down- hopefully the Slashdot effect of lots of people with money!

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Dongle smut Twitstorm claims second scalp

hplasm
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Megaphone

and

Keep your nose out of other peoples private conversations you nosey git!

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