* Posts by hplasm

2884 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Who thinks Microsoft Edge SUCKS? Erm, Microsoft

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Hatters Will Hate!

And so we see the wisdom of Men Without Hats - Safety Dance.

It means to be safe, don't use edgy products from MS.

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Strange alien-like life zones found beneath Antarctic glacier

hplasm
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Terminator

"... then detour to Mars"

Shurely we should take our asses, no?

Arnie Icon...

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Windows 10 hands on: Build 10074 is for the brave - but it's pretty snazzy

hplasm
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Re: Edge

Doing!

The Win10 version of Bing!

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Ha! Win 10 preview for Raspberry Pi 2 pops out of the Microsoft oven

hplasm
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Meh

Look!

A fish riding a bicycle. How rare!

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This is Spartan? No, it's Microsoft Edge, Son of Internet Explorer

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: Close, but still no cigar

"Why can't MS do this?"

Why would anyone want it?

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Microsoft: It's TRUE, you'll get Android and iOS apps in WINDOWS

hplasm
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Meh

First Android apps on Windows-

Now iOS apps on Windows.

Whatever happened to Baby Jane...?

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Visual Studio running on OS X and Linux for free? SO close

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Yeh-but, no-but...

If Windows goes down, what will they have to develop for...?

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'Android on Windows': Microsoft tightens noose around neck, climbs on chair

hplasm
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Linux

Why stop there?

Let Windows have Systemd.

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Debian ships new 'Jessie' release with systemd AND sysvinit

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: système D

1000 Internets to you Sir!

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Why recruiters are looking beyond IT's traditional talent pool

hplasm
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Well-

"Or the IT guys in a hospital I was visiting a few months ago routing cat6 through a wall."

- perhaps that's what happens when the IT guys used to be builders?

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REVEALED: The 19 firms whose complaints form EU's antitrust case against Google

hplasm
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Meh

Microsoft-

Oozing desperation from every pore, every passing day.

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Celebrated Pakistani female online activist Sabeen Mahmud dies in shooting

hplasm
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Re: Religion - the source of all evil

"Really? What about The Quakers."

Changed their name from Earthquakers...

(Apologies to all affected by Nepal and surrounding areas.)

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Microsoft to offer special Surface 3 for schools

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Not shiny enough

"MS will have a hard time cutting it with this. Even with the 10% discount it doesn't approach shiny territory."

Pricewise it does.

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Microsoft: Profit DECIMATED because you people aren't buying PCs

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Death March

But at least their kit was good...

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What's broken in this week's Windows 10 build? Try the Start Menu, for one

hplasm
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Devil

Context is important...

They do not sound like "it's almost finished" type bugs!

Windows- it's almost finished. (For good). {Hopefully}

/flame on

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Fukushima nuke plant owner told to upgrade from Windows XP

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Please come visit Fukushima. Seriously.

Nature. If it goes wrong, it really goes wrong.

FTFY

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FBI alert: Get these motherf'king hackers off this motherf'king plane

hplasm
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Happy

Re: To be fair...

"Two rules to live by:"

What if there IS a virus on the network?

Or do you mean 'Don't say it 3 times' sort of thing?

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Re-light my diode: Trio of boffins scoop physics Nobel for BLUE LEDs

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Reducing Electricity Consumption???

"What about the bulb in your oven?"

I have a gas lamp in my oven...

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It's official: David Brents are the weakest link in phishing attacks

hplasm
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Angel

Re: Senior management super powers widely misunderstood

Jebus. What a boring way to live.

I'm not surprised they have to get paid so much.

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Yay, we're all European (Irish) now on Twitter (except Americans)

hplasm
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Re: You're damned either way

"Sorry children, the family trip to Disney World is indefinitely postponed …"

You say that like it's a bad thing. Have you seen the size of the mouse problem they have there?

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KABOOM! Billionaire fingers dud valve in ROCKET WIBBLE PRANG BLAST

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Hey Elon

Put your computer in the bin The Internet rejects you.

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Digital killed the radio star: Norway names FM switchoff date

hplasm
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Unhappy

Oh noe

This will only encourage the DAB-pushing clowns over here.

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Microsoft absorbs open-source internal startup MS Open Technology

hplasm
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Boffin

Spawn...

"Microsoft has decided it can get into bed with open source technology without needing a chaperone."

Imagine the offspring...

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RADIOACTIVE WWII aircraft carrier FOUND OFF CALIFORNIA

hplasm
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"Where does the investigation go from here?"

Underwater?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: As Lady Bracknell never quite said...

Tell that to Tsutomu Yamaguchi...

Aha- as !Spartacus has noted above.

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hplasm
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Mushroom

"This aircraft carrier-

may contain substances known to the state of California to cause cancer..."

No need to worry about Fukashima juices drifting over then, really...

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You! GOOGLE! HAND OVER the special SAUCE, says Senate (of France)

hplasm
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Happy

"AND put links to three competitors on your homepage"

Why? Can't they just Google for them?

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What's that THUD sound? It's your Lumia's best feature after unflashing Windows 10

hplasm
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Devil

The Red* Brick of Death

* other fancy colours are available!

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NASA probe sent to faraway planet finds DWARF world instead: Pics

hplasm
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Happy

"...ground features on Pluto.."

"Your advert could be here!"

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Google’s plan for WORLD DOMINATION takes shape. And it begins with a patent

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Clearly, we need a clone army, to counter the robot army

Tut tut.

"Clearly, the robot army to counter , a clone army we need.

Hmmm."

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WHAT did GOOGLE do SO WRONG to get a slapping from the EU?

hplasm
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Meh

Sometimes, just sometimes

The competition just isn't up to much.

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Android lands on Microsoft's money-machine island fortress

hplasm
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Devil

Excellent!

No more ATM BSOD.

Wait- I hear torches and pitchforks and drooling approaching!

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Easy ... easy ... Aw CRAP! SpaceX rocket ALMOST lands on ocean hoverbase

hplasm
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Happy

Re: - "Dang it!"

"But the third one stayed up! One day, Elon, all this will be yours"

"What? The curtains?"

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Which is it?

Next: Spacex deliver to the ISS a machine to make a substance almost entirely but not quite unlike tea... unrest is born and spreads throughout the galaxy.

Inhabitants warned "Not to Panic"...

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Radio 4 and Dr K on programming languages: Full of Java Kool-Aid

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Algol you fools!

"""""""""""""""""""""""Sane! """""""""""""""""""""""

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hplasm
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Happy

In C

About 5%... judging by his discography.

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What would have stopped TV5Monde hack? Yup, MOAR LAWS

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: So easy to protect, not

"Digital Commissioner" - on the BatTablet under the cake-dome?

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Rand Paul puts Hillary Clinton's hard drive on sale

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Email servers

" enormous databases of the ravings of lunatics."

Or political manifestos, as they are commonly known.

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Urine for a treat this Monday, ISS 'nauts: SpaceX to launch pee-powered coffee pot

hplasm
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Happy

Re: You do know that ...

Well personally, I only drink water specially imported from the Oort cloud.

In all fairness, I do try to only inhale oxygen that has passed through at least one historical figure.

I did a fart once that smelled of Hitler- it must have gone down the wrong way.

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Microsoft, Getty settle image snatch 'suit

hplasm
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Alien

Re: Eddor meets Ploor

True, true- but they had to meet up at one time...then it was game on.

The Delgonians did indeed know how to party though.

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hplasm
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Happy

Eddor meets Ploor

Treaties signed.

Hilarity ensures.

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Microsoft uses Windows Update to force Windows 10 ads onto older PCs

hplasm
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Happy

There may be-

trouble ahead...

la la la

Do sing along!

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ISIS: You bomb us, we’ll interrupt your TV transmissions

hplasm
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"Yves Bigot, "

"...the network director,.."

Ah- they are the target of the cyberclowns, right there...

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Instead of public sector non-jobbery, Martha, how about creating REAL entrepreneurs?

hplasm
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Meh

Re: @hplasm: Just remember, in the 1980s

"Thatcher did not crucify the British car industry."

No need to.

She did make sure that cross and nail manufacturing shares were available to all though. And then sold off the companies that made them.

Trebles all round!

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hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Just remember, in the 1980s

for a sneeze of time, the UK was regarded as the world leader in IT education. US policymakers would visit, and return back to Uncle Sam broken men.

Can't imagine what happened.

Thatcher.

FTFY

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Microsoft sounds 100-day DOOM KLAXON for Windows Server 2003

hplasm
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Meh

"As someone who's worked for schools with little money to spend on IT ..."

...(including one that could not afford textbooks one year)

Microsoft's licencing costs will do that.

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Astronomers battle plague of BLADE-WIELDING ROBOTS

hplasm
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Happy

Re: The simple solution

How about drones that are attracted to the beacons and crop-spray the area with Agent Orange ( Tartrazine Free, of course). All problems solved and an extra head for free.

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Boffins: Large Hadron Collider NOW movin', we're getting down and crush groovin'

hplasm
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Happy

Pffzt!

Pop. Bip.

Bzzert!

Tentacles everywhere.

Excellent!

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EU Commission looking for ways to DECLARE WAR on Google

hplasm
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Meh

To effectively 'compete' -

in search

with Google, all the rest need is a simple slogan:

"Don't be shit."

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hplasm
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Meh

The future...

Harrison Bergeron: (On Bing) "Google? What was that?"

Bing: Here is a picture of a camel, two bars of Hail to the Chief and an article about ants. Thank you for u-u-u-using Mi-mi-mi-crosoft Bing. Please insert Two Hundred Eurodollars. Bzzt!"

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