* Posts by hplasm

4146 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

TalkTalk boss: 'Customers think we're doing right thing after attack'

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Talk Talk

Hack Hack.

Nasty cough you have there, Dido.

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Anything AWS can do: Microsoft announces UK data centre region for Azure cloud

hplasm
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Big Brother

Office 365 Delve

If that's not a snoop-sounding name...

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One Bitcoin or lose your data, hacked Linux sysadmins told

hplasm
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Meh

Re: because GCHQ et al

"Since when is Law Enforcement an intelligence agency's job?"

If not that then what?

Oh, of course- keeping themselves in a job.

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hplasm
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Linux

3-2-1...

And fixed.

Sod Off HaxxOrs- because backups.

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Flying drug mule crashes in Manchester prison

hplasm
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Holmes

Perhaps-

It's time for a bit of chickenwire over the clink?

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Trident test-shot startles West Coast Americans

hplasm
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Mushroom

If they think that was bad-

Imagine the surprise they would have felt if the warhead(s) had gone off next.

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New Horizons makes last burn for Kuiper Belt target

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Funding...

It's a shame that ALL country's governments have so many idiots running things.

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Doctor Who's good/bad duality, war futility tale in The Zygon Inversion fails to fizz

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: William Hartnell

Nope!

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: Im just wondering

Just wait until it goes on late-night Dave or UK Gold... you'll be lucky to get the same Doctor each episode.

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TPP: 'Scary' US-Pacific trade deal published – you're going to freak out when you read it

hplasm
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Devil

Where we're going, we don't need roads!

Just a handbasket...

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hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Source code

Rather than excluding Open Source it is more like:-

A Govt Dept: Hey MS, we think your Win10 may have a backdoor, and we won't buy it until you let us look at the source code.

Microsoft: You agreed to buy it. TPP says we don't have to show you the source anymore. Pony up.

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No C&C server needed: Russia menaced by offline ransomware

hplasm
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Headmaster

Eek!

"Check Point reached out..."

Don't. Just stop.

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Red Hat Enterprise Linux lands on Microsoft Azure cloud – no, we're not pulling your leg

hplasm
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Happy

Re: avoid proprietary BS.

GNUshit!

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Typical MSFT!

"Give people supported, functional software to run businesses with!"

Leopards, spots, etc.

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Music lovers move to block Phil Collins' rebirth

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: I'm not a fan but

They aren't on in every jukebox in every pub every night ever...

Arg! for the 80's!

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Please God!

Bob Marley version?

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Microsoft's OneDrive price hike has wrecked its cloud strategy

hplasm
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Devil

Re: @Krillin reality check

"The important question here is, why would anyone keep a zombie in the garage?."

The smell?

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Microsoft Windows 7 Pro: Halloween Horror for PC makers next year

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Where are the Gates and Balmers of yesteryear?

Living it up on the loot of millions.

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Windows 10 growth stalls during October

hplasm
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Happy

Re: A pedant writes...

"Since we're doing pedantry, ..."

Famous last words... "...the wings stop producing life..."

I'm sure there's a word for this.

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Next year's Windows 10 auto-upgrade is MSFT's worst idea since Vista

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Then why use Windows at all?

"And if your software is designed for controlling low-level hardware and therefore requires direct hardware access (which neither WINE nor a VM can provide) AND requires Internet access?"

Then the hardware will probably fail the Win 10 test (ie is more than 2-3 yrs old...)

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Use Skype if you want to report a crime, say cops

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: Not everyone has Skype

Face to face.

So now they have your details and your face to put in the database.

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The only GOOD DRONE is a DEAD DRONE. Y'hear me, scumbags?!

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Down A Drone Today

I hate to say it, but this is why we can't have nice things flying cars.

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Think Fortran, assembly language programming is boring and useless? Tell that to the NASA Voyager team

hplasm
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Re: No room at

If it's not a Z80, it's just a petrol-pump controller chip.

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Get 'em out for the... readers: The Sun scraps its online paywall

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Reached Out

Reminds me of the Depeche Mode hit - 'Reach out and Punch Face'

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Chrome OS is not dead, insists Google veep in charge of Chrome OS

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Bah!

"Er, it's one of Wilde's!"

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How Microsoft will cram Windows 10 even harder down your PC's throat early next year

hplasm
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Devil

Re: wsusoffline - win

"If I were your customer, I'd be looking to get shot of you with a snotty attitude like that."

Said millions of ex-Windows users, to Microsoft as WinX is forced on more and more unsuspecting machines.

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Seagate unveils enlarged spy drive with support for 64 spycams

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: The difference between a Surveillance Drive and a Hard Drive is..

I'm surprised they din't go the whole hog* and make the model #1984...

* 4 legs good...

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Cops use terror powers to lift BBC man's laptop after ISIS interview

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Works for me

Easily scared, aren't you.

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Raspberry Pi grows the pie with new deal allowing custom recipes

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Careful!

"What would one of the ports be for?"

A moisture sensor to keep an eye on the levee...

- saves a drive, and Chevys drink gas.

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Microsoft's 'Arrow' Android launcher flies into Play store

hplasm
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Devil

Re: tsk tsk.

"...what photos exactly would end up on my phone"

Every day, bing(e) would deliver a picture of TIKFAM as your desktop.

One day....

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Way t o go...

"...rather than from the top down as you would in Android. "

Another 'Steering wheel now on floor, we know best' moment from Redmond.

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Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

hplasm
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Oh my...

I really hope the networks are ready for my 16k television - Ol' Gil really needs this job...

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Bacon as deadly as cigarettes and asbestos

hplasm
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Coat

Re: what's the point in pigs?

Ask Cameron...

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Sea change in "allowed" foods

— Deuteronomy & Leviticus

The best Big Books of Things to Do on Opposite Day. Vol I & II

Praise Calvin!

(and Hobbes!)

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Sales down, profit up, 1,000 bods chopped: Your one-minute guide to Planet Microsoft

hplasm
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Angel

Re: We are making strong progress across each of our three ambitions...

"Well, I did write this ages ago, in the fist week after I took over..." - 'Nad.

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Laid-off IT workers: You want free on-demand service for what now?

hplasm
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Devil

Re: They don't call El Reg a redtop for nothing...

"They don't call El Reg a redtop for nothing..."

I prefer the term 'Red-headed Stepchild' myself...

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Windows 10 out, users happy, PCs upgraded, my work here is done – says Microsoft OS chief

hplasm
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Devil

Re: After a Project That Size

"Windows 10 out, users happy, PCs upgraded..."

Pick any one.

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Wait a minute, Doc! Are you telling me that you built a self-driving car ... out of a DeLorean!?

hplasm
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Happy

How long does the battery last?

1.21 GW is quite a heavy drain...

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GCHQ to pore over blueprints of Chinese built Brit nuke plants

hplasm
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Re: "selling property overseas to invest in its own future."

"Bollocks to London."

T-shirt please!

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hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Maybe a stupid question...

Because the asylum is run by accountants and lawyers.

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Elderly? Disabled? You clearly need a .38" Palm Pistol

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Oops

They could call it the 'Pistorius'.

edit- AC in before me!

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Steve Ballmer praises Twitter job cuts after buying 4% stake in ailing micro-blab site

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Balmer-

Do enlighten us - and don't forget to add value to the thread...

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hplasm
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Meh

Balmer-

Noun: Long for twat.

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Kidnapped IT bod Peter Moore: My journey to Iraq began in Guyana

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Fascinating article.

"I'm genuinely interested - what is at the heart of your cavalier risk-seeking attitude?"

A desire to own a Tardis?

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Microsoft now awfully pushy with Windows 10 on Win 7, 8 PCs – Reg readers hit back

hplasm
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Alert

Re: Stupid move

<nightmare>As a penance, they should be forced to open-source DirectX</nightmare>

FTFY

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Amazon Echo: We put Jeff Bezos' always-on microphone-speaker in a Reg family home

hplasm
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Happy

Re: More customization desired in these voice powered assistants

"So if the device needs "fixing", do I need to develop Avon like skills and carry a combined tester, pen-kit and screwdriver in the sole of my boot?"

You don't already...? Get off to /. !!

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hplasm
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Terminator

Re: So....

"Siri is a great app. I'm different. Cortana is a spooky bitch."

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Microsoft mavens promise proper quantum computer in 10 years

hplasm
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Devil

But

MS can't even produce a normal computer properly.

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US taxman slammed: Half of the IRS's servers still run doomed Windows Server 2003

hplasm
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Happy

Sympathy where it is due, after all...

Not here, I imagine.

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Ring Chime: Needy wireless doorbell or $30 bling t'ing?

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Will it at least still work...

""On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog."

Now you do; I'll have to sniff you out and bite you.

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