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* Posts by hplasm

2600 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Daft tweet by Speaker Bercow's loquacious wife DID libel lord

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Agree

A cross between a Berk and a Cow, perhaps?

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Paul Allen buys lovingly restored vintage V-2 Nazi ballistic missile

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Commentards Confess

I confess! Can I have a seat in mine?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: If I were Google

If I were Balmer

I'd buy some ARP tin hats and fire buckets...and sandbags.

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Tea, Earl Grey, hot! NASA blows $125k on Star Trek 3D FOOD PRINTER

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Primitive Food Replicator

Earl Grey. Hot.

That should do it.

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More than half of Windows 8 users just treat it like Windows 7

hplasm
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Angel

Re: WWES*

SHINY GLITTERY M$ TURD FAIL!!!

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: More than half?

"There are more Windows 8 users than Linux on desktop users combined...in my bedroom."

FTFY.

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FLABBER-JASTED: It's 'jif', NOT '.gif', says man who should know

hplasm
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Happy

Surely...

Yoint Fotojrafix Eexperts Jroup, noe?

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Soylent Corporation prepares to DEFEAT FOOD

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Free from the need to eat solids.

More like the toilet paper manufacturer's wet dream.

Probably give you the shits after about 3 days...

<--- I have a bit of tissue in the pocket, hopefully...

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James Bond inspires US bill to require smart guns for all

hplasm
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Devil

Re:Hopefully no one's working on a Lawgiver like Judge Dredd's that explodes...

Hopefully they are!

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Microsoft reveals Xbox One, the console that can read your heartbeat

hplasm
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Meh

Re: There's plenty of room for the OS on Xbox One to be snappier than the OS on PS4

Bear in mind that one of them is a Microsoft OS.

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US boffin builds 32-way Raspberry Pi cluster

hplasm
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Happy

Re: ergo:- Eadon is a machine.

Sent from the future to warn us!

(At least you can be sure he doesn't run Windows.)

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They WANT to EAT YOUR COMPUTER - welcome your ANT overlords

hplasm
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Angel

Re: Phase IV

Just squirt them with different coloured paint!

Anyone have any idea just what that was about??

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Last time CO2 was this high, the world was underwater? NO, actually

hplasm
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Devil

heheh

The models were wrong? Say it's not so!

GIGO- as true today as it's always been...

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Massive EXPLOSION visible to naked eye SEEN ON MOON

hplasm
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Coat

The future, as usual, is disappointing...

Space1999- 14 years late and woefully underfunded, was a failure.

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NASA signs off on sampling mission to Earth-threatening asteroid

hplasm
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Happy

Re: But..

Cheaper to wait- £10 for the cart, £10 for the donkey to pull it, £10 for the shovel and £2 for the six survivors to dig out the bits.

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MIT takes battery-powered robot cheetah for a gallop

hplasm
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Terminator

It's part of a montage-

Expect jumping, biting and snarling clips next.

Like the title sequences of The Six Million Dollar Man...

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Murdoch Facebook gloat: You're like my $580m, 'CRAPPY' MySpace

hplasm
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Mushroom

Re: Never accuse Murdoch

Of not telling it like he wants you to think it is.

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Microsoft conceals job ad in Bing homepage

hplasm
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Windows

Re: lol

Why, is that what happens to you just as you are about to Bing! ?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: It's great when people rush in to show how clever they are and trip over their own shoelaces...

It's cruel to laugh at the afflicted- leave MS developers alone.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: 88 Clicks as of 9am this morning...

...probably after one particular bing-head who would have all of the hoops enabled to jump through.

Are they after getting Gates back?

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Google 'DOES DO EVIL', thunders British politician

hplasm
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Meh

Re: 'You do do evil!' vs "Copyright minster: Google- better access to No 10 than me"

Emerging Markets? You do know that's predator speak for Easy Prey?

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Things that cost the same as coffee with Tim Cook - and are WAY more fun

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Let's see

£5k- that could get you some iPhones for tactical comms...

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Life on Mars means subsisting on grim diet of turd-garden spinach

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Perjorative

Lady Gardens?

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Bing uncloaks Klingon translator

hplasm
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Happy

Re: If the value of yituhxo, the enemy dujey

Isn't that part of the Windows Source Code?

It might explain why nobody can rewrite it...

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: Oh, come on.

"Proof-of-concept for transliteration engine in a language..."

Proof that you can put any old tosh in a Bing result, and no body will know if it's right or not, nor care...

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New Lumia 925: This, loyalists, is the BIG ONE you've waited for

hplasm
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Windows

Re: It's almost as if the marketers have realised that those garish rectangles are deterring people

No shift key on W8 keyboards?

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hplasm
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Pint

Re: Waterproof?

"Sodcasting"

+1 pint!

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hplasm
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Trollface

Ta da...

"The best just got better......" The new Galaxy S4.

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Microsoft: Next WinPhone 8 update to arrive this summer

hplasm
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WTF?

Why-

Would anyone make hardware specifically for an 'operating system; that doesn't support it's features?

And conversely why not support hardware that was built for your OS specially?

Something doesn't add up in MS world. But that has happened before too...

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Borked your iDevice? Pay EVEN MORE to have it fixed by Applecare

hplasm
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Headmaster

A Ye Olde Shoppe

Is a "Ye Olde Shoppe".

I don't see your problem with this meme.

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Feds use Instagram pic of delicious steak dinner to nab ID thieves

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Shoddy reporting

The steak was later found to be Horse, with a fake ID

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Android is a mess and needs sprucing up, admits chief

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Windows 8 'sales' barely half as good as Microsoft claims

hplasm
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Stop

Spork!

There's nothing wrong with sporks- they do a good job as a spoon, and a reasonable fork impression.

Win 8 on the other hand...

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Microsoft splashes big bucks to blast Google Apps

hplasm
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Meh

Re: FUD train?

No alternative? Yes there is- send it back and tell them to use a proper format.

DOCX- i'm looking at you...

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Brits' phone tracking, web history touted to cops: The TRUTH

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Its not very anonymous is it..My career as an MP is over.

No it isn't- it's going pretty much as people expect!

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On the hunt for a new ampere

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Just define the number of electrons in a coulomb, stupids!

1 Ampere = 1 Hogshead of electrons.

Job done!

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'Liberator': Proof that you CAN'T make a working gun in a 3D printer

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Well its a proof of concept.

Not so cheap... $2 worth of ABS costs $1000 in printerland...

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hplasm
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Happy

Welcome to El Reg

I take it you are new here...

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Dropping the 3d printer on them

Is more likely to kill someone than this gun, so perhaps they should be banned.

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ZX Spectrum cassette player lost? There's an app for that

hplasm
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Happy

Re: mirror-universe counterpart.

With evil goatee....

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Love it

But it's iOS!!

Er, FAIL?

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Builder-in-a-hole outrage sparks Special Projects Bureau safety probe

hplasm
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Excellent!

is there such a word as 'Underkill' ?

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Standard Model goes PEAR-SHAPED in CERN experiment

hplasm
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: No doubt some wintards think that the sun does get rebooted, that's what night is.

I need new brew now!

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Snoopers' charter rests in shallow grave - likely to rise again

hplasm
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Happy

Re:Just tattoo an IP address to my face

I agree- but not mine...

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M&S shoppers make quarter of a million NFC payments a WEEK

hplasm
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Re:Their goods are undeniably higher quality as well*

I deny that

. £5 for two baking spuds.... right....oh, they've been washed so the help doesn't have to... ok then!

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hplasm
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Happy

You can buy food in M&S for under £20 ?

Blimey!

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Queen's Speech: 'Problem of matching IP addresses' to be probed

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: You are not going to connect an xbox directly to the internet

Really...?

Er, XBox owners...

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Microsoft: Subscription-only apps? Not for us, yet

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Not worth it

People pay for Photoshop? Who knew?

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Google not sabotaging YouTube on Windows Phone after all

hplasm
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Windows

Re: I suppose...

And I'm sure Andrex Labrador owners are glad they have something else to wipe their arses on other than a WinPhone...

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Coke? Windows 8 is Microsoft's 'Vista moment'. Again

hplasm
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Re: Telemetry Bullshit

Wallet Garden! +1 for truth!

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