* Posts by hplasm

4033 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Understand 'Safe Harbor', Schrems v Facebook in under 300 words

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Better renamed?

Pearl Harbour. (Too soon?)

1
1

Microsoft, the VW family sedan of IT, wants to be tech's new Rolls-Royce

hplasm
Silver badge
Angel

Re: Microsoft have turned into Goople!

Goople! Do no Weebl!

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: May they get their wish

"... not as good as they are hyped. And relative to the competition, long since surpassed by many rivals in all but brand cachet and marketing."

So just like MS- I stand corrected.

3
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Reality check?

Waiting for Windows is always boring. Never gets old, just boring.

Apple is as Apple does; but they do seem to do, rather than fart about.

1
2
hplasm
Silver badge
Gimp

Re: Reality check?

Windows doesn't run, it sort of staggers about drunkenly. And then falls over.

13
7
hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: May they get their wish

"Microsoft, the VW family sedan of IT"

Except VW do make good cars.

Microsoft, the gold-flashed Trabant of IT.

FTFY

4
2

Team Microsoft: Device Police... 'Are you pumped? I'm pumped'

hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

See icon

See title.

6
2

Apollo 15 commander's lunar timepiece goes under the hammer

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: It would've been better if ..

It does- it's round!

2
0

Surface Book: Microsoft to turn unsuccessful tab into unsuccessful laptop

hplasm
Silver badge
WTF?

Re: You know you can

Make a really heavy macbookoid?

0
0

Microsoft, Tesla, build battery that knows how much (energy) you suck

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Now

even MS batteries spy on you!

10
5

Miss Brittany dethroned for posting 'nude' Facebook pics

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Double standards?

"Only we, ze judges, may see ze big boobies!"

29
0

GENUINE STARSHIP as used by PRINCESS LEIA sold for just $450k

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Maybe not just SW...

Battle Beyond The Stars

yes... that was a bit of a copypastafest, for sure.

0
0

Microsoft gobbles Chipzilla's Havok 3D physics unit in cloud gaming play

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Microsoft play well with others?

Play (Well) for Sure.

0
0

Is the world ready for a Raspberry Pi-powered Lego Babbage Engine?

hplasm
Silver badge
Alien

Re: Working model ?

"A non-working model would be a lump of plastic."

Her name is Casey!

6
0

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Oculus Rift-

For when you can't see the wood for the trees.

2
0

CIOs: Tell us about your biggest disaster and how you survived it

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

CIO response in a nutshell.

It all went bang! I jumped, and floated away on my golden parachute.

The End.

16
0

Three mobile data network GOES TITSUP across Blighty

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Storm

in a Threecup?

1
1

Mars water discovery is a liberal-muslim plot, cry moist conspiracy theorists

hplasm
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Ak

"Ak, ak, ak ak AK!"

Akbar? Are you trying to say akbar? Aha!

3
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

Ow!

I read that Limbaugh thing, and now my brain is sore.

I see now why any 'dissent' (reasonable skepticism, not GOP-style shouting) about global warming is jumped on so strongly...

3
0

Slander-as-a-service: Peeple app wants people to rate and review you – whether you like it or not

hplasm
Silver badge
Flame

Re: Things...

"introduce bullet points. Or a powerpoint upload."

With regard to Powerpoint, you really need to use hollow-nosed bullets. And then cleansing fire.

10
0

Weird garbled Windows 7 update baffles world – now Microsoft reveals the truth

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Not taking the bait

"Microsoft is the Volkswagen of software."

no, MS is the White Audi of software..

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: About that Intergalactic Bypass........

Where is The Vogon when he is actually needed to comment...??

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Alert

Ia

Ballmer fhtagn..

4
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Ha!

"give Windows 10 users pause"

Would't that make them unable to type?

/furry

7
0

AF-FIR-MAT-IVE: Second suspension for robot-voice helldesker

hplasm
Silver badge
Angel

Boredom-

is a terrible thing. It can lead to all sorts of weird behaviour...

And 'professional' as a word, is highly overrated.

Wibble.

16
0

Lies from VW: 'Our staff acted criminally but board didn't know'

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Dieselgate

Wastegategate. It is turbodiesel after all...

19
0

Massive global cooling process discovered as Paris climate deal looms

hplasm
Silver badge
Boffin

So-

A model is just a model. It's not actually the real thing, in a little box (other containers are available), and if you look closely, you can see the differences.

Well blow me down...

Will anyone listen to this, or is the carreering gravy train too loud?

28
2

Fiorina: I rushed out HP servers to power NSA snooping. Mwahahaha!

hplasm
Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: She's a PATRIOT

As in PATRIOT missile defence? Expensive, and doesn't work, but makes a lot of noise.

2
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Destroyed All Braincells

"Uh, he's actually describing excessive criticism as ranting."

You wouldn't be ranting about Obama, then?

0
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: So-

"You talking about Obama?"

No. Now you look like a dick.

8
4
hplasm
Silver badge
Big Brother

So-

Not only a piss-poor CEO but a Fascist to boot... no wonder the hard-line Repubs love her.

39
3

WATERPROOF iPhone 6Ss? Old news. Check out the OTHER 7 SECRET FEATURES

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: NFZD chip

"Sadly the app is still in development."

It keeps going off every time the user comes near to the iPhone...

3
0

Sky 'fesses up to broken fibre cables as cause of outage woes

hplasm
Silver badge
Terminator

Skynet is broken!

Regards, John Connor.

0
0

WATER SURPRISE: Liquid found on Mars, says NASA

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Pure water can exist only between zero and 10 degrees centigrade???

" Frozen water can be found anywhere."

Volcanoes?

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Alien

Re: Tasty Morsel

Nobody could have imagined, in the early years of the 21st century...

</DanDanDaaaaan!>

1
0

Overheating iPhone 6S+ BLINDED my cam, cries flashgate fanboy

hplasm
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

iPhone6S?

That's hot!

1
0

'We can handle politicos, OUR ISSUE IS JUDGES', shout GCHQ docs

hplasm
Silver badge
Big Brother

GCHQ

Gestapo Central HQ?

22
3

NEW ERA for HUMANITY? NASA says something 'major' FOUND ON MARS

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Come on..

"Actually, the Pope is very open to the possibility of alien life."

Theeeee SpacePope!!

0
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: It'll be a rock

"No, socks are the pupa stage of coat hangers"

Which are in turn the larval stage of shopping carts.

5
0

SAUCY INCEST and brutal VIOLENCE boosts UK space sector

hplasm
Silver badge
Unhappy

GoT notwithstanding-

Isn't it sad that bloody Sky counts as a major part of the UK's 'space' industry.

It's a bit like claiming Matchbox as one of the world's most prolific car makers.

(Unfair to compare Matchbox to Murdochsat, but it's all I could come up with... which is also sad.)

1
1

VW: Just the tip of the pollution iceberg. Who's to blame? Hippies

hplasm
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Re: re: I still don't understand the irrational fear of nuclear power though.

"just bury it in the ground so it poisons our children"

Why are your children underground?

32
2

KARMA POLICE: GCHQ spooks spied on every web user ever

hplasm
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: Hello...

"Come and help figure out how."

Do you have a large box of 'V' masks?

0
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Meanwhile, back in the real world....

Who says who is a crim, and who isn't, eh...

1
0

PETA monkey selfie lawsuit threatens wildlife photography, warns snapper at heart of row

hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

How will PETA-

prove that, should they win, every penny in damages goes to the monkey?

Cupid Stunts.

3
0

Homeland Security in CYBER POPE 'net chatter-check bulk up

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Not to belittle people of faith.. but

OOk!

1
0

Only paying for Microsoft software that you use? It's coming

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Already happening here

"Yep. $0.00 and worth every cent."

So you run everything MS has ever made?

0
0

Microsoft Office 2016 for Windows: The spirit of Clippy lives on

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Not available

"Yeah..."

That's what you get for running OO on a Surface.

0
2
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Overall-

Still the dog's dinner, rather than the dog's bollocks, then?

20
12

It's 2015 and a text file can hack your Apple Watch. IS THIS THE FUTURE YOU WANTED?

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Sounds like previous version was garbage.

"...careful redo from scratch."

Doesn't he live in Ankh-Morpork now? I didn't know he did iStuff development...

0
0

It's alive! Farmer hides neglected, dust-clogged server between walls

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: H.P. BOFHcraft: "The HP Servers in the Wall"

This does, of course, demand a book...

1
0

Forums