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* Posts by hplasm

2533 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Microsoft conceals job ad in Bing homepage

hplasm
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Windows

Re: lol

Why, is that what happens to you just as you are about to Bing! ?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: It's great when people rush in to show how clever they are and trip over their own shoelaces...

It's cruel to laugh at the afflicted- leave MS developers alone.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: 88 Clicks as of 9am this morning...

...probably after one particular bing-head who would have all of the hoops enabled to jump through.

Are they after getting Gates back?

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Google 'DOES DO EVIL', thunders British politician

hplasm
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Meh

Re: 'You do do evil!' vs "Copyright minster: Google- better access to No 10 than me"

Emerging Markets? You do know that's predator speak for Easy Prey?

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Things that cost the same as coffee with Tim Cook - and are WAY more fun

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Let's see

£5k- that could get you some iPhones for tactical comms...

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Life on Mars means subsisting on grim diet of turd-garden spinach

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Perjorative

Lady Gardens?

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Bing uncloaks Klingon translator

hplasm
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Happy

Re: If the value of yituhxo, the enemy dujey

Isn't that part of the Windows Source Code?

It might explain why nobody can rewrite it...

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: Oh, come on.

"Proof-of-concept for transliteration engine in a language..."

Proof that you can put any old tosh in a Bing result, and no body will know if it's right or not, nor care...

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New Lumia 925: This, loyalists, is the BIG ONE you've waited for

hplasm
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Windows

Re: It's almost as if the marketers have realised that those garish rectangles are deterring people

No shift key on W8 keyboards?

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hplasm
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Pint

Re: Waterproof?

"Sodcasting"

+1 pint!

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hplasm
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Trollface

Ta da...

"The best just got better......" The new Galaxy S4.

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Microsoft: Next WinPhone 8 update to arrive this summer

hplasm
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WTF?

Why-

Would anyone make hardware specifically for an 'operating system; that doesn't support it's features?

And conversely why not support hardware that was built for your OS specially?

Something doesn't add up in MS world. But that has happened before too...

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Borked your iDevice? Pay EVEN MORE to have it fixed by Applecare

hplasm
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Headmaster

A Ye Olde Shoppe

Is a "Ye Olde Shoppe".

I don't see your problem with this meme.

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Feds use Instagram pic of delicious steak dinner to nab ID thieves

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Shoddy reporting

The steak was later found to be Horse, with a fake ID

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Android is a mess and needs sprucing up, admits chief

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Windows 8 'sales' barely half as good as Microsoft claims

hplasm
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Stop

Spork!

There's nothing wrong with sporks- they do a good job as a spoon, and a reasonable fork impression.

Win 8 on the other hand...

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Microsoft splashes big bucks to blast Google Apps

hplasm
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Meh

Re: FUD train?

No alternative? Yes there is- send it back and tell them to use a proper format.

DOCX- i'm looking at you...

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Brits' phone tracking, web history touted to cops: The TRUTH

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Its not very anonymous is it..My career as an MP is over.

No it isn't- it's going pretty much as people expect!

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On the hunt for a new ampere

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Just define the number of electrons in a coulomb, stupids!

1 Ampere = 1 Hogshead of electrons.

Job done!

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'Liberator': Proof that you CAN'T make a working gun in a 3D printer

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Well its a proof of concept.

Not so cheap... $2 worth of ABS costs $1000 in printerland...

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hplasm
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Happy

Welcome to El Reg

I take it you are new here...

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Dropping the 3d printer on them

Is more likely to kill someone than this gun, so perhaps they should be banned.

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ZX Spectrum cassette player lost? There's an app for that

hplasm
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Happy

Re: mirror-universe counterpart.

With evil goatee....

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Love it

But it's iOS!!

Er, FAIL?

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Builder-in-a-hole outrage sparks Special Projects Bureau safety probe

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Excellent!

is there such a word as 'Underkill' ?

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Standard Model goes PEAR-SHAPED in CERN experiment

hplasm
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: No doubt some wintards think that the sun does get rebooted, that's what night is.

I need new brew now!

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Snoopers' charter rests in shallow grave - likely to rise again

hplasm
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Happy

Re:Just tattoo an IP address to my face

I agree- but not mine...

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M&S shoppers make quarter of a million NFC payments a WEEK

hplasm
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Thumb Down

Re:Their goods are undeniably higher quality as well*

I deny that

. £5 for two baking spuds.... right....oh, they've been washed so the help doesn't have to... ok then!

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hplasm
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Happy

You can buy food in M&S for under £20 ?

Blimey!

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Queen's Speech: 'Problem of matching IP addresses' to be probed

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: You are not going to connect an xbox directly to the internet

Really...?

Er, XBox owners...

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Microsoft: Subscription-only apps? Not for us, yet

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Not worth it

People pay for Photoshop? Who knew?

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Google not sabotaging YouTube on Windows Phone after all

hplasm
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Windows

Re: I suppose...

And I'm sure Andrex Labrador owners are glad they have something else to wipe their arses on other than a WinPhone...

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Coke? Windows 8 is Microsoft's 'Vista moment'. Again

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Telemetry Bullshit

Wallet Garden! +1 for truth!

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hplasm
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Meh

"...It's just you really have to work at it."

At least you don't have to mess about with like Linux, eh?

Oh, wait...

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The Metro experiment is dead: Time to unleash Windows Phone+

hplasm
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Windows

Re: As predictable as night following day

Funny, the comments seem to be mainly from mongs who say W8 is soooo much easier than older versions; ie "My old computer was too complicated for me..."

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Windows Blue preview to land at end of June

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Are small biz owners naturally mentally deficient?

Only the ones who embrace W8.

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Get your very own open source nematode

hplasm
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Happy

Its it written...

in elegant C?

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India introduces Central Monitoring System

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: Eventually (in a few centuries maybe) all governements will realize this is *not* a solution

In India, manpower is still relatively cheap- 250,000 people with headphones on in a call centre could probably do this for £47m... but the annual pencil and notepad bill would be ever increasing, together with the cost of filing cabinets.

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Self-assembling robot inches towards WORLD DOMINATION

hplasm
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Alert

I'll be back....

inches away, slowly...

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Oz chap blows his own Google Glass

hplasm
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Thumb Up

The bag it is open;

The cat is no longer inside.

(All this needs is a 3D printer angle~ all else is 'open, freedom, etc'.)

Still, good work!

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Scramjet X-51 finally goes to HYPER SPEED above Pacific

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Will you be allowed

Bottled water shouldn't be carried anywhere. Fill the empty bottle up when you get there.

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hplasm
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Flame

Well done-

Next- Thunderbird 1.

Hypersonic Fire

<===

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Plans for fully 3D-printed gun go online next week

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Awesome!

Point one of these at me and see how far you get.

I'll print up an F16 and nuke you with a printed a-bomb.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: So the solution....

As is sticking a musket down the back of your pants.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: The point is-

Mr Zip...

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hplasm
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Terminator

The point is-

Any idiot can make stuff now.... after someone has done the skilled bit once.

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TV gesture patent bombshell: El Reg punts tech into public domain

hplasm
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Happy

Wave hands madly and-

" Enhance 57 to 19. Track 45 left. Stop. Enhance 15 to 23. Give me a hard copy right there."

Job done.

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How did something so small and pink cause so much trouble?

hplasm
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Meh

Re: To add to that...

Which is probably a very good thing.

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Debian 7 debuts

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Oh, dear...

Hah. It's better than '8'...

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Impoverished net user slams 'disgusting' quid-a-day hack

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Sanctimony

This!

if you don't like the rules- don't play!

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