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* Posts by hplasm

2572 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Steelie Neelie: Crack down on wicked ISPs so we can Skype

hplasm
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WTF?

Re: Tabloid tone?

Hey- I can't edit any more... where's my badge gone???

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hplasm
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Unhappy

Tabloid tone?

You haven't read the tabloids recently, have you?

El Reg is not 99% shit.

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Microsoft touts business features of Windows 8.1

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Too little, too late ....

Not to burst your bubble, but no-one gives a fuck about Windows anymore.

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hplasm
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Devil

"how easy it will be to use these new "features"...?"

It will probably require CMD and Powershell and much RegEdit...

It just works.

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hplasm
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Meh

An impressive selection of features.

I wonder how many will work?

Remember Longhorn. That turned out well.

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Shorteurs rejoice as Vine comes to Android

hplasm
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Gimp

Wow-

aren't the Appletwatters getting their knickers in a twist?

O dear how sad, never mind.

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Review: Philips Hue network enabled multicolour lightbulbs

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: blutooth

There are X10 versions- they need X10 adapters for the power to the lamps though.

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Ex-Microsoft man plans brand of consumer marijuana 'fine cigars'

hplasm
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Happy

Re: I thought it was de criminalised in the uk

Nah- they just changed the subnet mask.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Paper Clip returns

Just Bing for Bong!

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Win8 SP1

Maybe it's exactly that, the ability to think sideways.

And scroll sideways!

I think you may be on to something there...

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hplasm
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Alert

Win8 SP1

Puff. Puff...Oh wow....look! It does make sense now!!

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Graphene QUILT: A good trampoline for elephants in stiletto heels

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Another SF scenario in the making

Stand on Zanzibar, by John Brunner. A terrorist/activist attack on a bus- only one fatality, IIRC, whose head was turning when it was severed- the rest, had decaptations that just joined back up due to the thinness of the cut...

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Doctor Who? 12th incarnation sought after Matt Smith quits

hplasm
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Meh

Re: dr normal

Wow. Aren't you dull?

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Sacred islet Rockall defeats Brit adventurer

hplasm
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Happy

Britannia does rule the waves.

But sometimes the waves win.

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Motorola shows off tattoo and swallowable password hardware

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: But 666 is a wonderful number!!

Caustic means it burns- acid or alkali, it doesn't matter.

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NASA: Trip to Mars would exceed 'fatal cancer' radiation risk

hplasm
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Coat

And don't rely on-

any anti-radiation drugs from those hippies on Skaro- didn't work for Roy Castle...

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Former Microsoft Windows chief: I was right to kill the Start button

hplasm
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FAIL

He killed the Start Button.

But he didn't make sure it was dead, and just like in the movies, it came back and killed him.

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Microsoft's Windows 8.1 secrets REVEALED ... sort of

hplasm
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Meh

"Their customers have not been screaming for a Start Menu."

True. They are Win8 customers, and therefore merely screaming because of that.

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Windows 8.1 Start button SPOTTED in the wild

hplasm
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Meh

This seems rather half-arsed

and I don't think it will satisfy the requirements of the masses.

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Tim Cook: Wearable tech's nice, but Google Glass will NEVER BE COOL

hplasm
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Meh

Cook says:-

"Nothing that will convince a kid that's never worn glasses or a band to wear one* - until we stick a half-eaten fruit logo on it?

He's also never heard of sunglasses...

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Gigabyte's BRIX fall into place

hplasm
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Coat

Re: "brix"?

If you do run W8 or another Legacy OS, would that make them LegOS Brix?

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May threatens ban on 'hate-inciting' radicals, even if they don't promote violence

hplasm
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Childcatcher

Re: LOL!

Who keeps lifting your rock?

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Daft tweet by Speaker Bercow's loquacious wife DID libel lord

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Agree

A cross between a Berk and a Cow, perhaps?

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Paul Allen buys lovingly restored vintage V-2 Nazi ballistic missile

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Commentards Confess

I confess! Can I have a seat in mine?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: If I were Google

If I were Balmer

I'd buy some ARP tin hats and fire buckets...and sandbags.

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Tea, Earl Grey, hot! NASA blows $125k on Star Trek 3D FOOD PRINTER

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Primitive Food Replicator

Earl Grey. Hot.

That should do it.

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More than half of Windows 8 users just treat it like Windows 7

hplasm
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Angel

Re: WWES*

SHINY GLITTERY M$ TURD FAIL!!!

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: More than half?

"There are more Windows 8 users than Linux on desktop users combined...in my bedroom."

FTFY.

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FLABBER-JASTED: It's 'jif', NOT '.gif', says man who should know

hplasm
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Happy

Surely...

Yoint Fotojrafix Eexperts Jroup, noe?

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Soylent Corporation prepares to DEFEAT FOOD

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Free from the need to eat solids.

More like the toilet paper manufacturer's wet dream.

Probably give you the shits after about 3 days...

<--- I have a bit of tissue in the pocket, hopefully...

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James Bond inspires US bill to require smart guns for all

hplasm
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Devil

Re:Hopefully no one's working on a Lawgiver like Judge Dredd's that explodes...

Hopefully they are!

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Microsoft reveals Xbox One, the console that can read your heartbeat

hplasm
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Meh

Re: There's plenty of room for the OS on Xbox One to be snappier than the OS on PS4

Bear in mind that one of them is a Microsoft OS.

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US boffin builds 32-way Raspberry Pi cluster

hplasm
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Happy

Re: ergo:- Eadon is a machine.

Sent from the future to warn us!

(At least you can be sure he doesn't run Windows.)

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They WANT to EAT YOUR COMPUTER - welcome your ANT overlords

hplasm
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Angel

Re: Phase IV

Just squirt them with different coloured paint!

Anyone have any idea just what that was about??

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Last time CO2 was this high, the world was underwater? NO, actually

hplasm
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Devil

heheh

The models were wrong? Say it's not so!

GIGO- as true today as it's always been...

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Massive EXPLOSION visible to naked eye SEEN ON MOON

hplasm
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Coat

The future, as usual, is disappointing...

Space1999- 14 years late and woefully underfunded, was a failure.

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NASA signs off on sampling mission to Earth-threatening asteroid

hplasm
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Happy

Re: But..

Cheaper to wait- £10 for the cart, £10 for the donkey to pull it, £10 for the shovel and £2 for the six survivors to dig out the bits.

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MIT takes battery-powered robot cheetah for a gallop

hplasm
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Terminator

It's part of a montage-

Expect jumping, biting and snarling clips next.

Like the title sequences of The Six Million Dollar Man...

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Murdoch Facebook gloat: You're like my $580m, 'CRAPPY' MySpace

hplasm
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Mushroom

Re: Never accuse Murdoch

Of not telling it like he wants you to think it is.

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Microsoft conceals job ad in Bing homepage

hplasm
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Windows

Re: lol

Why, is that what happens to you just as you are about to Bing! ?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: It's great when people rush in to show how clever they are and trip over their own shoelaces...

It's cruel to laugh at the afflicted- leave MS developers alone.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: 88 Clicks as of 9am this morning...

...probably after one particular bing-head who would have all of the hoops enabled to jump through.

Are they after getting Gates back?

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Google 'DOES DO EVIL', thunders British politician

hplasm
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Meh

Re: 'You do do evil!' vs "Copyright minster: Google- better access to No 10 than me"

Emerging Markets? You do know that's predator speak for Easy Prey?

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Things that cost the same as coffee with Tim Cook - and are WAY more fun

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Let's see

£5k- that could get you some iPhones for tactical comms...

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Life on Mars means subsisting on grim diet of turd-garden spinach

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Perjorative

Lady Gardens?

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Bing uncloaks Klingon translator

hplasm
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Happy

Re: If the value of yituhxo, the enemy dujey

Isn't that part of the Windows Source Code?

It might explain why nobody can rewrite it...

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: Oh, come on.

"Proof-of-concept for transliteration engine in a language..."

Proof that you can put any old tosh in a Bing result, and no body will know if it's right or not, nor care...

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New Lumia 925: This, loyalists, is the BIG ONE you've waited for

hplasm
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Windows

Re: It's almost as if the marketers have realised that those garish rectangles are deterring people

No shift key on W8 keyboards?

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hplasm
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Pint

Re: Waterproof?

"Sodcasting"

+1 pint!

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hplasm
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Trollface

Ta da...

"The best just got better......" The new Galaxy S4.

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