* Posts by hplasm

4145 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Boffins smear circuitry onto contact lenses

hplasm
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Happy

BTW: "Chemists have solutions."

If you're not part of the problem, you're part of the precipitate...

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: Application?

"Is this more than a solution looking for a problem?"

A contact-lens solution? Naw- we already have that...

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What's it like to work for a genius and Olympic archer who's mates with Richard Branson?

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re:For one awkward moment...

As did I...

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Microsoft showers Office 365 sellers with gold in Google snub

hplasm
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Meh

Re: M$ doesn't need to compete with Google on price...

"g-mail which uses the browser spell checker."

IE by any chance?

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: M$ doesn't need to compete with Google on price...

When they can rely on bribery.

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13 CubeSats to ride mighty US lifter

hplasm
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Black Helicopters

Re: Cube sat not so cubic

Rectangular PRISM sats?

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hplasm
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Re: Launch cost

"Do they really know what this will be used for?"

Dozens of small cube-shaped astronauts. Or pork.

Or square pigs?

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Microsoft buys SwiftKey, Britain's 'stealthiest software startup'

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Hmm, the usual comments.

"Holovision looks like the dogs bollocks too..."

Hairy and dangly and make you look odd if fastened to your face?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Counting the days

"Any hints?"

Go to app, long press- go to play store- press menu- untick auto update.

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hplasm
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Windows

By contrast, SwiftKey is world class.

For now. So was Skype...

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Pentagon can't check F-35 maintenance thanks to insecure database

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Where is the beard?

Shouldn't the guy in the picture get a new beard as he no longer has a beard?

FTFY

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Windows 10 will now automatically download and install on PCs

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: I upgraded back in November, and Windows 10 is working great.

" Windows 10 is working great. UI is almost exactly the same as Windows 10."

That's a giant leap for OS kind.

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Microsoft: Yes, we are going to kill off Enterprise Agreements

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Then again...

"I would willingly sell my house and all its contents to help Microsoft."

Click here to accept this new EULA.

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Sure, encrypt your email – while your shiny IoT toothbrush spies on you

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: Orwell

" I don' t see that happening in Western countries."

Emphasis.

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Most of the world still dependent on cash

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Eh?

"...then ordering up some beer."

This is the part that you don't want to take time.

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Feds slap Rentboy.com boss with further charges

hplasm
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Meh

"...so *why* was this one singled out?"

There's an election brewing in the good ol' US... 'morality' rears it's sleepy head.

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UK.gov plans to unveil a new Digital Bill

hplasm
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Meh

May I be the first-

to raise a Digit or two to this bill.

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Apple’s retail chief: ‘Touching customers’ key to retail success

hplasm
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Meh

What a big pile.

Of Corporate Bobbins.

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Met Police: Yes, outsourcing IT to Steria has 'risks'

hplasm
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Holmes

YAGIF

Yet Another Govt IT Foulup.

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Lincolnshire council shuts down all IT after alleged 0-day breach

hplasm
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Facepalm

Do I smell-

- MS security? Makes G4S look fabulous.

Where's the 'Bowl of Petunias' icon?

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Retailers urged to create 'CCTV-like' symbol to inform customers of mobile tracking

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: How about...

... a big picture of T May.

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Squeeze the banana to log into this office Wi-Fi

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Unfunny Hunic stuff

This is better- Banana && Raspberry PI!

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How to help a user who can't find the Start button or the keyboard?

hplasm
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Facepalm

Some people....

Really need to be put out to pasture.

With prejudice.

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Blighty's Parliament prescribed tablets to cope with future votes

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Flying The Flag

"I'm fairly sure that:

A. Some one did a cost benefit analysis."

I'm fairly sure you are wrong on that count.

"PS. It says its a surface the OS isn't specified... it could be running Linux for all you know."

I would stake the GNP of the UK on it not.

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hplasm
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Stop

Another waste of cash.

What's wrong with paper, or ebony and ivory balls?

More £££ bleeding to MS by TPTB.

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The last time Earth was this hot hippos lived in Britain (that’s 130,000 years ago)

hplasm
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Re: So it's not

hippopotamaux...

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hplasm
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It's true!

Looking at the High Street, the hippos are still living here...

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Forget infrasound, now it's ultrasound that's making you ill (allegedly)

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Project MKUltra

MKUltra- Don't they make 13A plugs...?

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hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: What next?

"Any mysterious and invisible energy or substance in our environment..."

Damn Midichlorians!!

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Boffins: There's a ninth planet out there – now we just need to find it

hplasm
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Happy

re:Maybe call it Real Pluto and make everyone happy.

That makes me sad.

How about Pluto Zero?

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hplasm
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Stop

"You know, I really like just plain "Planet Nine"."

No, no, no no,no!

It must be Planet Ten- else what of Planet X?

Also, no matter how large it is, it will probably be classed as a 'Dwarf, Elf or Gnome World.

Pluto is a bloody planet. Get over it. Planet #9.

s/Ninth/Tenth

grr!

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Europe's satellite laser comms system set to shine

hplasm
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Happy

You forgot-

"It should be dubbed SkyNet tho"

...to start that sentence with "chan-"

Who? Me?

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Space podule outfit inks Arizona launch deal

hplasm
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Meh

Good luck with the FAA...

"US space flight firm World View has announced it'll be launching the balloon-lofted passenger podule from a new facility in its home state of Arizona, dubbed "Spaceport Tucson"."

just like LOHAN...

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Dell drops next network OS on the waiting world

hplasm
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Stop

Not another-

'OS' X, 10 , 1010 release.

It's this decade's 'Turbo'. Bloody lazy marketeers!

(Never mind anything '2000' either!!)

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The planets really will be in alignment for the next month

hplasm
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" But what's that massive glowing red cloud thing?"

It's a cloud- but it's leaving rapidly...

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: I see ...

""Jupiter's gone into Orion, and come into conjunction with Mars,

Saturn is wheeling across infinite space to its preordained place in the stars,

And I gaze at the planets in wonder, at the trouble and time they expend,

All to warn me to be careful, in dealings involving a friend"

so in short, you may want to take an umbrella with you tomorrow. Summary- Rain of Fire.

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hplasm
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Alert

In the hills above Dunwich...

something stirs.

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Hot Potato exploit mashes old vulns into Windows System 'sploit

hplasm
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Hot Potato?

Seems like a mashup...

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Microsoft: We’ve taken down the botnets. Europol: Would Sir like a kill switch, too?

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: Boom!

"They haven't enacted it, so how is it shooting themselves in the foot?"

That's what they do best. Infected PC? MS will kill it. Don't want your PC to die? Don't use MS.

Boom.

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Boom!

Footshot!!

Again...

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Knock yourselves out, Microsoft.

Oh- that IS what you will do, isn't it?

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Microsoft herds biz users to Windows 10 by denying support for Win 7 and 8 on new CPUs

hplasm
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Trollface

Re: The hate energy from El Reg is high today!

"I used to visit this site to laugh with El Reg, now I laugh at you."

No, you didn't.

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Russian Pastafarian wins right to bear colander

hplasm
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FAIL

Fighting talk!

" "Pastafarian is not actually a religion. Rather it is a philosophy that mocks religion.""

Replace Pastafarian with any other religion and see what happens.

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No escape: Microsoft injects 'Get Windows 10' nagware into biz PCs

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Perfectly understandable

"Digital interface would be fingers poked in eyes surely"

Not if the digits are tightly packed...

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: Perfectly understandable

"My I make make my fist available to your face?"

Digital Interface!

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: I am not a fucking product.

"but id much rather be blowing stuff up on Just Cause 3."

Cause Windows is a toy OS.

Where's the whiny manchild icon?

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2015 was the Year of the Linux Phone ... Nah, we're messing with you

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: every year is the year of the moped.

You can pull a caravan with your moped?

wow.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Moving on up!

"At the very least we'll be ready for a big push when Microsoft follows Digital into self-inflicted oblivion."

And people mourn Digital going.

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Microsoft wants you, yes you, to write bits of Windows 10. For free

hplasm
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Devil

Re: An opportunity

you mean- ook ook ook ook ook ?

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Learn you Func Prog on five minute quick!

hplasm
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Happy

May I just be the first to say-

EEK!

Thanks.

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