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* Posts by hplasm

2536 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Raspberry Pi DUMBS DOWN to target world+dog

hplasm
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WTF?

Re: Not dumbing down

Shall we get off your fucking lawn too, AC?

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Internet pioneer Vint Cerf predicts the future, fears Word-DOCALYPSE

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Vint says:-

If they hasn't won documents would still be in someone ELSE'S proprietary format.

Perhaps...

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hplasm
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Meh

Vint says:-

"I'm not blaming Microsoft..."

Why the hell not? It's their fault.

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Microsoft parades Windows 8.1, the version you may actually want

hplasm
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Windows

Re: a zoo where every device works a tad different, speaks different formats etc.

Sounds like MS Office to me.

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: we don't need a start menu/screen that takes up a whole screen

" You can't use any apps while the menu is open "

Why would you? Tiles are for 'apps', menus have Programs.

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hplasm
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FAIL

Re: What would really make a huge difference is fixing the license

"Thanks but no thanks. I stick to free licences like Apache"

I think you mis-spelled 'Unenforceable shrinkwrapped EULA; there.

Might have been a slip of the penable pen.

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Start Icon != Start Menu. This the problem.

What key? I ask, you tit- this is a tablet.

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It's a fiddle! Funnyman's Irish tax flashmob floods Apple flagship store

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: $100Bn cash pile

It's the US tax way- even the 2012 Olympics winners from the US had to pay tax on the cash and a percentage of the medal's worth...

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New Tosh 'droid slabs include Newton-like scrawl-pad: We try it out

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Easy to see that Win8...

"Professional organisations need professional products. Bear that in mind and say 'No' to Windows 8"

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Microsoft waves white flag: We'll put Outlook on Windows RT slabs

hplasm
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Meh

We'll put Outlook on Windows RT slabs

Like that is supposed to be an improvement? Outloook!

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Steelie Neelie: Crack down on wicked ISPs so we can Skype

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Tabloid tone?

ooo- it's back again. Ta.

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hplasm
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WTF?

Re: Tabloid tone?

Hey- I can't edit any more... where's my badge gone???

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hplasm
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Unhappy

Tabloid tone?

You haven't read the tabloids recently, have you?

El Reg is not 99% shit.

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Pen+tablet bandwagon finally rolling, Nvidia leaps aboard

hplasm
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Happy

Where's mmeier?

He's missing this- penables!

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Boffins build gesture recognition using WiFi

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Spying

You may be interested in my pattern for brillo-pad underwear?

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Exclusive Halo game coming to Windows 8 and WinPhone 8

hplasm
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Meh

Also meh.

What next? A free hat?

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Microsoft touts business features of Windows 8.1

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Too little, too late ....

Not to burst your bubble, but no-one gives a fuck about Windows anymore.

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hplasm
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Devil

"how easy it will be to use these new "features"...?"

It will probably require CMD and Powershell and much RegEdit...

It just works.

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hplasm
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Meh

An impressive selection of features.

I wonder how many will work?

Remember Longhorn. That turned out well.

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Shorteurs rejoice as Vine comes to Android

hplasm
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Gimp

Wow-

aren't the Appletwatters getting their knickers in a twist?

O dear how sad, never mind.

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Review: Philips Hue network enabled multicolour lightbulbs

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: blutooth

There are X10 versions- they need X10 adapters for the power to the lamps though.

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Ex-Microsoft man plans brand of consumer marijuana 'fine cigars'

hplasm
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Happy

Re: I thought it was de criminalised in the uk

Nah- they just changed the subnet mask.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Paper Clip returns

Just Bing for Bong!

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Win8 SP1

Maybe it's exactly that, the ability to think sideways.

And scroll sideways!

I think you may be on to something there...

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hplasm
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Alert

Win8 SP1

Puff. Puff...Oh wow....look! It does make sense now!!

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Graphene QUILT: A good trampoline for elephants in stiletto heels

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Another SF scenario in the making

Stand on Zanzibar, by John Brunner. A terrorist/activist attack on a bus- only one fatality, IIRC, whose head was turning when it was severed- the rest, had decaptations that just joined back up due to the thinness of the cut...

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Doctor Who? 12th incarnation sought after Matt Smith quits

hplasm
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Meh

Re: dr normal

Wow. Aren't you dull?

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Sacred islet Rockall defeats Brit adventurer

hplasm
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Happy

Britannia does rule the waves.

But sometimes the waves win.

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Motorola shows off tattoo and swallowable password hardware

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: But 666 is a wonderful number!!

Caustic means it burns- acid or alkali, it doesn't matter.

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NASA: Trip to Mars would exceed 'fatal cancer' radiation risk

hplasm
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Coat

And don't rely on-

any anti-radiation drugs from those hippies on Skaro- didn't work for Roy Castle...

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Former Microsoft Windows chief: I was right to kill the Start button

hplasm
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FAIL

He killed the Start Button.

But he didn't make sure it was dead, and just like in the movies, it came back and killed him.

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Microsoft's Windows 8.1 secrets REVEALED ... sort of

hplasm
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Meh

"Their customers have not been screaming for a Start Menu."

True. They are Win8 customers, and therefore merely screaming because of that.

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Windows 8.1 Start button SPOTTED in the wild

hplasm
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Meh

This seems rather half-arsed

and I don't think it will satisfy the requirements of the masses.

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Tim Cook: Wearable tech's nice, but Google Glass will NEVER BE COOL

hplasm
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Meh

Cook says:-

"Nothing that will convince a kid that's never worn glasses or a band to wear one* - until we stick a half-eaten fruit logo on it?

He's also never heard of sunglasses...

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Gigabyte's BRIX fall into place

hplasm
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Coat

Re: "brix"?

If you do run W8 or another Legacy OS, would that make them LegOS Brix?

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May threatens ban on 'hate-inciting' radicals, even if they don't promote violence

hplasm
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Childcatcher

Re: LOL!

Who keeps lifting your rock?

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Daft tweet by Speaker Bercow's loquacious wife DID libel lord

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Agree

A cross between a Berk and a Cow, perhaps?

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Paul Allen buys lovingly restored vintage V-2 Nazi ballistic missile

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Commentards Confess

I confess! Can I have a seat in mine?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: If I were Google

If I were Balmer

I'd buy some ARP tin hats and fire buckets...and sandbags.

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Tea, Earl Grey, hot! NASA blows $125k on Star Trek 3D FOOD PRINTER

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Primitive Food Replicator

Earl Grey. Hot.

That should do it.

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More than half of Windows 8 users just treat it like Windows 7

hplasm
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Angel

Re: WWES*

SHINY GLITTERY M$ TURD FAIL!!!

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: More than half?

"There are more Windows 8 users than Linux on desktop users combined...in my bedroom."

FTFY.

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FLABBER-JASTED: It's 'jif', NOT '.gif', says man who should know

hplasm
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Happy

Surely...

Yoint Fotojrafix Eexperts Jroup, noe?

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Soylent Corporation prepares to DEFEAT FOOD

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Free from the need to eat solids.

More like the toilet paper manufacturer's wet dream.

Probably give you the shits after about 3 days...

<--- I have a bit of tissue in the pocket, hopefully...

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James Bond inspires US bill to require smart guns for all

hplasm
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Devil

Re:Hopefully no one's working on a Lawgiver like Judge Dredd's that explodes...

Hopefully they are!

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Microsoft reveals Xbox One, the console that can read your heartbeat

hplasm
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Meh

Re: There's plenty of room for the OS on Xbox One to be snappier than the OS on PS4

Bear in mind that one of them is a Microsoft OS.

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US boffin builds 32-way Raspberry Pi cluster

hplasm
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Happy

Re: ergo:- Eadon is a machine.

Sent from the future to warn us!

(At least you can be sure he doesn't run Windows.)

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They WANT to EAT YOUR COMPUTER - welcome your ANT overlords

hplasm
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Angel

Re: Phase IV

Just squirt them with different coloured paint!

Anyone have any idea just what that was about??

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Last time CO2 was this high, the world was underwater? NO, actually

hplasm
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Devil

heheh

The models were wrong? Say it's not so!

GIGO- as true today as it's always been...

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Massive EXPLOSION visible to naked eye SEEN ON MOON

hplasm
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Coat

The future, as usual, is disappointing...

Space1999- 14 years late and woefully underfunded, was a failure.

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