Feeds

* Posts by hplasm

2605 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Paypal makes man 1000x as rich as the ENTIRE HUMAN RACE

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: @Zmodem

Barclays Etc are evil. Don't go near them.

Worst part of the Barclays group.

3
0

PRISM scandal: Brit spooks operated within the law, say politicos

hplasm
Silver badge
Childcatcher

Re: LMAO!

Still bleating I see.

3
1

BT slammed for FAILING to explain why its broadband investment has shrunk

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Live in sticks

Give BT pots of cash, get worse services- it's not a new idea.

4
0

Microsoft's next device could be a Surface Watch

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Sinclair's Black Watch.

Will probably sell more than the MS one in total

0
1

Hubble spots ALIEN NAVY world – and it's pelted with GLASS RAIN

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: "Microsoft Azure"

Hey- it's not That bad!

0
0

Forecast cloudy as Office 365 pushes into 38 new markets

hplasm
Silver badge
Gimp

Re: the Microsoft steaming (pile of) installer

How did you get past AdBlocker?

6
0

Screw it, says NSA leaker Snowden: I'm applying for asylum in Russia

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Not a problemo

Well, perhaps he can talk to our Mr Bryant at length in there, during Happy Hour.

1
0

Forget Snowden: What have we learned about the NSA?

hplasm
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: alain williams Secret laws

BLEAT LESS!

Good advice. Why don't you just do that?

2
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Gimp

Re: Anonymous Cowpatbrain Did William Hague know about PRISM spying?

Your rock. Back under it. Nothing for you to fawn over here, Doormatt.

3
1

JOBS from beyond grave: I AM NOT A CROOK, it was an 'aikido move'

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: "the whole service will have to rely on clerical data entry, "

That would be an ecumenical matter...

3
0

STEVE BALLMER KILLS WINDOWS

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Not actual substance or anything resembling an argument.

But this isn't an argument -it's more of a joyful anticipation!

11
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: ya

"all them profits are the result of terrible performance...."

Not just that- don't forget customer lock-in and stupid inertia.

8
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Adapt or deserve to die.

Are you listening, Microsoft?

6
0

Oh please, PLEASE bring back Xbox One's hated DRM - say Xbox loyalists

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

"...consumers were uninformed..."

Weasel Words.

fuck right off you shill.

34
2

Big Beardie is watching you: Lord Sugar gets into facial recognition

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Beardie (did Branson lose that title when he posed as a stewardess?)

Keep Beardie for Branson.

May I propose Prune-Faced Spiv for Sugar?

3
0

BT earmarks super-speedy 300Mbit/s broadband for 50 exchanges

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Great, but will BT prioritise those areas that need this?

Follow the money...

1
0

Are driverless cars the death knell of the motor biz?

hplasm
Silver badge
Terminator

Re: At night ......

HONK! HONK!

2
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Pint

Re: Own the box rent the motor (again)

This *could* work- but only when we live in cities like the Jetsons. Existing infrastructure wouldn't support it, it would be like bin-collection day every half-hour, every day.

Sadly.

0
0

Google loses Latitude in Maps app shake-up

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: B0rked

"I tried to set my old man up on Open Maps..."

Are you the Cerne Abbas Giant?

Devon was the clue...

3
0

US Congress proposal: National Park will be FOUND ON MOON

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Russia ...claiming the North Pole

If they want it, they can bloody well haul it away. Otherwise...

0
0

Universal Credit: ONLY 6 job centres to get new dole system in October

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Glenda 1

I & D Smiths both -100

3
0

Ciseco Pi-Lite: Make a Raspberry Pi trip light fantastic with 126 LEDs

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Any one remember ...

POV displays. Clocks come to mind, but very popular on Instructables etc.

0
0

Brits: Give us £1m and we'll build a crack ALIEN-HUNTING TEAM

hplasm
Silver badge
WTF?

Re: Who will be first to discover Alien life here on earth ??

Wow.

What colouri s your breath when you exhale?

1
0

Microsoft: Still using Office installed on a PC? Gosh, you squares

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: A text editor would be more attractive than Microsoft Office

Emacs or Vi?

6
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

If you're on a plane, you might be in the cloud!

5
0

Microsoft preps UK Surface Pro 'pilot', tiptoes around Win 8 OEM rivals

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

"It is a pilot, the reason we are calling it a pilot..."

So we can blame 'pilot error' when it crashes and burns.

4
0

Radar gremlins GROUND FLIGHTS across southern Blighty

hplasm
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: I'm going on holidays in two weeks

Two weeks in Gitmo.

You're doomed!

1
0

Snowden: US and Israel did create Stuxnet attack code

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: "the Queen's selfies to the pool boy"

And yet you keep posting...

6
3

Samsung Galaxy S3 explodes, turns young woman into 'burnt pig'

hplasm
Silver badge
Linux

Re: @ Daniel B.

"unbuckle my belt, drop my pants and run."

Icon - because... :)

4
0

Microsoft to ship Windows 8.1 in 'late August'

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Windows 8.1 Blended Background...

Mini Metro- that explains the previous TIFKAM name!

And the shitness!

0
0

PEAK SAMSUNG? Shares slide ahead of BEELLLIONS in profit

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Stock Market

Screw them right in their faces with a big greasy moose dick.

Sideways?

0
0

Elon Musk's Grasshopper tops 300m, lands safely

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Re: Pretty... but pointless

"They could have produced exactly the same results with a parachute..."

-or by not taking off in the first place.

4
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Boffin

Re: why doesn't it just topple over?

Rocket Science.

10
0

Europe: OK, we'll 'backload' carbon emissions - but we'd better not lose big biz

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Carbon Trading my Arse!

It's a money-making scam.

The only way to reduce 'Carbon Footprints'' (FFS) is to ban Firewalking.

8
1

Microsoft offloads heap of critical fixes in 'ugly' Patch Tuesday

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Bah!

"Hundreds and hundreds of issues."

Not this week- what was he running- potato?

I smell porkies.

4
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Gimp

Re: "I was hoping the first Post-Eadon Patch Tuesday......

"..."brain-deads" actually used to upvote him...."

Windows buyers voting EADON UP?

How rare.

4
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Tiresome

Don't like shitty smells?

Don't try to cover them up- stop making shit in the first place!

3
6

Upturned boat sails to Shed of the Year title

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Old news

Don't they have houses there yet?

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Jealous

Nah-not so popular, he's Jamie Oliver!

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Great shed!

Lovely stove!

0
0

INVASION of the UNDEAD ANDROIDS: Hackers can pwn 'nearly all' devices

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

" I bet we'd all be hearing a different tune if that was windows 8 in the title..."

But only 2 people would be affected, so why bother?

11
2

Win 8 man Sinofsky's 'retirement' deal: $14m shares, oath of silence

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Why are you suprised?

Except people might like to buy a Honda Civic with tractor tyres- that would be awesome!

Unlike DoggedOS, which is not.

1
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: I'll believe in a conspiracy...

" You rarely if ever hear the phrase "ew, the new orange on this hammer is so yucky, what a horror. I'm going back to bashing nails in with my head", do you?"

You do when it turns out that the 'hammer' you thought you were buying turns out to be an orange on a stick.

15
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Eadon hols?

Eadon is Sinofsky - he had to go as the terms of his golden parachute kicked in.

4
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Gimp

Re: the difference between them and a mere mortal

Did they let you kiss their awesome behind?

3
1

Rest your head against a train window, hear VOICES in your SKULL

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: What is Sky Go?

SkyGo, SkyDrive, SkyTrain.

Next? SkyDive.... (we can hope...)

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: WTF is a train conductor

It's like a Bus Conductor, but on a train, see?

0
0

AMD joins LibreOffice, adds GPU grunt to free software suite

hplasm
Silver badge
Linux

Another nail in the MS Office Coffin...

Excellent! Full speed ahead, guys!

19
3

Vulcan? Not on our tiny balls. Pluto moons named Kerberos, Styx

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: So the "Vulcan" name was a bad candidate to begin with?

They must be out of their Vulcan minds!

3
0

Windows 8 apps pass 100K, Windows 8 passes Vista

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Do Apple-toting baristas work in these 'Linux bistros'?

1
0