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* Posts by hplasm

2536 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Are driverless cars the death knell of the motor biz?

hplasm
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Pint

Re: Own the box rent the motor (again)

This *could* work- but only when we live in cities like the Jetsons. Existing infrastructure wouldn't support it, it would be like bin-collection day every half-hour, every day.

Sadly.

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Universal Credit: ONLY 6 job centres to get new dole system in October

hplasm
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Happy

Glenda 1

I & D Smiths both -100

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Ciseco Pi-Lite: Make a Raspberry Pi trip light fantastic with 126 LEDs

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Any one remember ...

POV displays. Clocks come to mind, but very popular on Instructables etc.

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Brits: Give us £1m and we'll build a crack ALIEN-HUNTING TEAM

hplasm
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WTF?

Re: Who will be first to discover Alien life here on earth ??

Wow.

What colouri s your breath when you exhale?

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Microsoft: Still using Office installed on a PC? Gosh, you squares

hplasm
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Devil

Re: A text editor would be more attractive than Microsoft Office

Emacs or Vi?

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hplasm
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Happy

If you're on a plane, you might be in the cloud!

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Microsoft preps UK Surface Pro 'pilot', tiptoes around Win 8 OEM rivals

hplasm
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Meh

"It is a pilot, the reason we are calling it a pilot..."

So we can blame 'pilot error' when it crashes and burns.

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Radar gremlins GROUND FLIGHTS across southern Blighty

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: I'm going on holidays in two weeks

Two weeks in Gitmo.

You're doomed!

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Snowden: US and Israel did create Stuxnet attack code

hplasm
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Meh

Re: "the Queen's selfies to the pool boy"

And yet you keep posting...

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Samsung Galaxy S3 explodes, turns young woman into 'burnt pig'

hplasm
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Linux

Re: @ Daniel B.

"unbuckle my belt, drop my pants and run."

Icon - because... :)

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Microsoft to ship Windows 8.1 in 'late August'

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Windows 8.1 Blended Background...

Mini Metro- that explains the previous TIFKAM name!

And the shitness!

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PEAK SAMSUNG? Shares slide ahead of BEELLLIONS in profit

hplasm
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Re: Stock Market

Screw them right in their faces with a big greasy moose dick.

Sideways?

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Elon Musk's Grasshopper tops 300m, lands safely

hplasm
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Re: Pretty... but pointless

"They could have produced exactly the same results with a parachute..."

-or by not taking off in the first place.

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hplasm
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Boffin

Re: why doesn't it just topple over?

Rocket Science.

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Europe: OK, we'll 'backload' carbon emissions - but we'd better not lose big biz

hplasm
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Meh

Carbon Trading my Arse!

It's a money-making scam.

The only way to reduce 'Carbon Footprints'' (FFS) is to ban Firewalking.

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Microsoft offloads heap of critical fixes in 'ugly' Patch Tuesday

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Bah!

"Hundreds and hundreds of issues."

Not this week- what was he running- potato?

I smell porkies.

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: "I was hoping the first Post-Eadon Patch Tuesday......

"..."brain-deads" actually used to upvote him...."

Windows buyers voting EADON UP?

How rare.

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: Tiresome

Don't like shitty smells?

Don't try to cover them up- stop making shit in the first place!

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Upturned boat sails to Shed of the Year title

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Old news

Don't they have houses there yet?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Jealous

Nah-not so popular, he's Jamie Oliver!

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hplasm
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Great shed!

Lovely stove!

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INVASION of the UNDEAD ANDROIDS: Hackers can pwn 'nearly all' devices

hplasm
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Devil

" I bet we'd all be hearing a different tune if that was windows 8 in the title..."

But only 2 people would be affected, so why bother?

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Win 8 man Sinofsky's 'retirement' deal: $14m shares, oath of silence

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Why are you suprised?

Except people might like to buy a Honda Civic with tractor tyres- that would be awesome!

Unlike DoggedOS, which is not.

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: I'll believe in a conspiracy...

" You rarely if ever hear the phrase "ew, the new orange on this hammer is so yucky, what a horror. I'm going back to bashing nails in with my head", do you?"

You do when it turns out that the 'hammer' you thought you were buying turns out to be an orange on a stick.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Eadon hols?

Eadon is Sinofsky - he had to go as the terms of his golden parachute kicked in.

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: the difference between them and a mere mortal

Did they let you kiss their awesome behind?

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Rest your head against a train window, hear VOICES in your SKULL

hplasm
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Happy

Re: What is Sky Go?

SkyGo, SkyDrive, SkyTrain.

Next? SkyDive.... (we can hope...)

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: WTF is a train conductor

It's like a Bus Conductor, but on a train, see?

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hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: More subtle than an axe

I see this as a public service, and a new way to enjoy boring train journeys!

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AMD joins LibreOffice, adds GPU grunt to free software suite

hplasm
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Linux

Another nail in the MS Office Coffin...

Excellent! Full speed ahead, guys!

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Vulcan? Not on our tiny balls. Pluto moons named Kerberos, Styx

hplasm
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Happy

Re: So the "Vulcan" name was a bad candidate to begin with?

They must be out of their Vulcan minds!

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Windows 8 apps pass 100K, Windows 8 passes Vista

hplasm
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Windows

Do Apple-toting baristas work in these 'Linux bistros'?

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Modern-day Frankenstein invents CURE for BEHEADING

hplasm
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Happy

Re: I'll make the obvious comment.

Jarheads?

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Cloud computers are like bananas, says Deutsche Börse

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Yup. Just like bananas.

Bananas don't roll very well because they are bent and faceted. Clouds are bumpy and nebulous so they probably don't roll too well either.

You may well have a good point there!

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Surface Pro for enterprise: We name the dates and the lucky partners

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Having just spent today using one...

There will always be cheap laptops- not necessarily MS ones.

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Microsoft's murder most foul: TechNet is dead

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Peoples simply have a mistaken definition of testing

No need to test- MS products are becoming increasingly unsuitable.

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'The Apprentice' is a load of old codswallop, says biz prof

hplasm
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Happy

No Jihad on the moon with less than 8 D size though.

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Snowden speaks from Moscow: 'Obama lies'

hplasm
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Big Brother

"...but in the end they will be held accountable for their crimes..."

Who? The US Govt? Fat Chance.

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Windows 8.1: Here at last, but is it good enough?

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: "Why would 'Professionals' want to deal with such an amateurish OS"

" it is part of their job..."

No, it isn't.

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Well...

"My 14 year old loves Windows 8..."

I rest my case.

The target demographic.

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: I see that some at least of the....

Why would 'Professionals' want to deal with such an amateurish OS?

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Microsoft's MoodScope app predicts smartphones users' feelings

hplasm
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Windows

User is...

Using Windows- yes

Predicted mood- Unhappy/Angry.

Not rocket surgery, is it?

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Idaho patriots tool up to battle Jihad with pork bullets

hplasm
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Boffin

Rather-

Where the fireball touches the ground- used to determine possible fallout.

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hplasm
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Alert

In an emergency-

will they just use a pork sausage as a silencer?

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Flippin' Equus! Unfeasibly old horse bone DNA triumph

hplasm
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Happy

Re: How

In the beginning was the Horse...

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Home Office launches £4m cyber security awareness scheme

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Might like to start with the House of Commons

Which strain? Red, Blue or Yellow.

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Spaniards deploy self-propelled ROBOT BALLS

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Two hundred years from now.....

The carnage was awful. "we have all seen too many body bags and ball sacks" said Kissinger's Head,

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Cuba bound? Edward Snowden leaves Hong Kong

hplasm
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Meh

@fibbles

TSA: "What is this Commie bullshit!?"

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Sadly

They did go away when I answered holding an inflated rubber glove, and said I was a little busy...

(a pretend udder if you must know... That doesn't help, does it...?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Sadly

Wear a t-shirt with a picture of a gun on it, or Osama, or some Arabic; or as suggested, put 'yes' in all the boxes that no-one in their right mids would ever pick- "Are you or have you ever been a Communist/ Terrorist/Democrat/ Member of New Model Army?"

They have no sense of humo(u)r and will boot you right back out.

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