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* Posts by hplasm

2576 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

PHWOAR! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing, Prime Minister

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Two birds one cup?

One cup of bees?

Sounds like a recipe....for something.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: The devil in the detail

Block all of the news rags- they have print. Why do they need to clog up the 'net too?

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Only 1 in 5 Americans believe in pure evolution – and that's an upswing

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: @NomNomNom

He's proving that the God botherers aren't the climate Deniers he claims they are.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: equitation

A six-legged horse...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleipnir‎

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Slight confusion here

"...another persons right to believe in god..."

There is no such right.

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hplasm
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Alien

Abducted!

But why do they bring them back?

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WAR ON PORN: UK flicks switch on 'I am a pervert' web filters

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Kids gloves for everyone

Won't somebody think we're not children!

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hplasm
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Holmes

Easy Answer

"Errr, Harry, why did we opt out of that filthy porn smut filtering?"

"I'm not paying full price for half an internet, dear. That would be silly."

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hplasm
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Black Helicopters

Re: Mumsnet Black Helicopters

It's the future...

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Put the 3 Rs back in British Education: Infographics, Nextification, Chemicals

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: On actual education

6a. How to spell 'property'

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Surface RT: A plan worthy of the South Park Underpants Gnomes

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: If I follow the logic of this

Wow. That would be an Omnishambolic Clusterfuck of the highest order!

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NSA chief leaks info on data sharing tech: It's SharePoint

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Sharepoint isn't the only thing they use

"Downvoted for arrogance and tone."

What a coincidence. Have a downvote.

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UK gov's smart meter dream unplugged: A 'colossal waste of cash'

hplasm
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Meh

Re: A lot of FUD

Do you have an Economy Flush?

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hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: If the meter will have a data connection...

5Gb cap, 100kbps throughput after deep packet inspection...

Cynical, Moi?

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Five bods wrongly cuffed thanks to bungled comms snooping in UK

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: @lglethal

I doubt they can spell 'Brazil', which is ironic really.

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Ex-prez Carter: 'America has no functioning democracy' with PRISM

hplasm
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Coat

Re: "they don't give you the Nobel Peace Prize for nothing"`

"Obama got it for at least trying to change the statuesque..."

Not an easy task- have you seen the size of some of the 'Statuesque'? They're bloody enormous!

O the huge manatees!

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Tweet like escaping Hell depends on it, Twitter Catholics told

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Sin of Emission

Again with Eduction!

"(Engineering / Mechanical Engineering) the exhaust stroke of a steam or internal-combustion engine"

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hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Haha ha ha

Probably, although:-

Eduction:

To assume or work out from given facts; deduce.

...and get it all wrong, invent sky-faeries etc.

Possibly...

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Lasers to carry 622 Mbps Earth-Moon link

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Somehow

We're servers on the Moon

We're full of pirate tunes

But we cause lost sales

In Lunar retails

So they want us all shut doon...

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Google teases hush-hush Android event on July 24

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Maybe

when it gets removed (ala OtherOS), you only have AC twats like this to blame.

FTFY

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Microsoft admits it's '18 months behind' with Windows 8 slabs

hplasm
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Meh

Hmmm

...they will soon start to put the clamps on the iPad v1

There- that's more like it.

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Paypal makes man 1000x as rich as the ENTIRE HUMAN RACE

hplasm
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Happy

Re: @Zmodem

Barclays Etc are evil. Don't go near them.

Worst part of the Barclays group.

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PRISM scandal: Brit spooks operated within the law, say politicos

hplasm
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Childcatcher

Re: LMAO!

Still bleating I see.

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BT slammed for FAILING to explain why its broadband investment has shrunk

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Live in sticks

Give BT pots of cash, get worse services- it's not a new idea.

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Microsoft's next device could be a Surface Watch

hplasm
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Happy

Sinclair's Black Watch.

Will probably sell more than the MS one in total

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Hubble spots ALIEN NAVY world – and it's pelted with GLASS RAIN

hplasm
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Happy

Re: "Microsoft Azure"

Hey- it's not That bad!

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Forecast cloudy as Office 365 pushes into 38 new markets

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: the Microsoft steaming (pile of) installer

How did you get past AdBlocker?

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Screw it, says NSA leaker Snowden: I'm applying for asylum in Russia

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Not a problemo

Well, perhaps he can talk to our Mr Bryant at length in there, during Happy Hour.

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Forget Snowden: What have we learned about the NSA?

hplasm
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Trollface

Re: alain williams Secret laws

BLEAT LESS!

Good advice. Why don't you just do that?

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Anonymous Cowpatbrain Did William Hague know about PRISM spying?

Your rock. Back under it. Nothing for you to fawn over here, Doormatt.

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JOBS from beyond grave: I AM NOT A CROOK, it was an 'aikido move'

hplasm
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Happy

Re: "the whole service will have to rely on clerical data entry, "

That would be an ecumenical matter...

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STEVE BALLMER KILLS WINDOWS

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Not actual substance or anything resembling an argument.

But this isn't an argument -it's more of a joyful anticipation!

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: ya

"all them profits are the result of terrible performance...."

Not just that- don't forget customer lock-in and stupid inertia.

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hplasm
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Windows

Re: Adapt or deserve to die.

Are you listening, Microsoft?

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Oh please, PLEASE bring back Xbox One's hated DRM - say Xbox loyalists

hplasm
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Meh

"...consumers were uninformed..."

Weasel Words.

fuck right off you shill.

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Big Beardie is watching you: Lord Sugar gets into facial recognition

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Beardie (did Branson lose that title when he posed as a stewardess?)

Keep Beardie for Branson.

May I propose Prune-Faced Spiv for Sugar?

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BT earmarks super-speedy 300Mbit/s broadband for 50 exchanges

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Great, but will BT prioritise those areas that need this?

Follow the money...

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Are driverless cars the death knell of the motor biz?

hplasm
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Terminator

Re: At night ......

HONK! HONK!

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hplasm
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Pint

Re: Own the box rent the motor (again)

This *could* work- but only when we live in cities like the Jetsons. Existing infrastructure wouldn't support it, it would be like bin-collection day every half-hour, every day.

Sadly.

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Google loses Latitude in Maps app shake-up

hplasm
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Happy

Re: B0rked

"I tried to set my old man up on Open Maps..."

Are you the Cerne Abbas Giant?

Devon was the clue...

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US Congress proposal: National Park will be FOUND ON MOON

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Russia ...claiming the North Pole

If they want it, they can bloody well haul it away. Otherwise...

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Universal Credit: ONLY 6 job centres to get new dole system in October

hplasm
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Happy

Glenda 1

I & D Smiths both -100

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Ciseco Pi-Lite: Make a Raspberry Pi trip light fantastic with 126 LEDs

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Any one remember ...

POV displays. Clocks come to mind, but very popular on Instructables etc.

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Brits: Give us £1m and we'll build a crack ALIEN-HUNTING TEAM

hplasm
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WTF?

Re: Who will be first to discover Alien life here on earth ??

Wow.

What colouri s your breath when you exhale?

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Microsoft: Still using Office installed on a PC? Gosh, you squares

hplasm
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Devil

Re: A text editor would be more attractive than Microsoft Office

Emacs or Vi?

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hplasm
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Happy

If you're on a plane, you might be in the cloud!

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Microsoft preps UK Surface Pro 'pilot', tiptoes around Win 8 OEM rivals

hplasm
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Meh

"It is a pilot, the reason we are calling it a pilot..."

So we can blame 'pilot error' when it crashes and burns.

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Radar gremlins GROUND FLIGHTS across southern Blighty

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: I'm going on holidays in two weeks

Two weeks in Gitmo.

You're doomed!

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Snowden: US and Israel did create Stuxnet attack code

hplasm
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Meh

Re: "the Queen's selfies to the pool boy"

And yet you keep posting...

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Samsung Galaxy S3 explodes, turns young woman into 'burnt pig'

hplasm
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Linux

Re: @ Daniel B.

"unbuckle my belt, drop my pants and run."

Icon - because... :)

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