* Posts by hplasm

4145 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Microsoft's bigoted teen bot flirts with illegali-Tay in brief comeback

hplasm
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Meh

"You are too fast, please take a rest..."

MS slow to respond to users, as usual.

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Here's a great idea: Let's make a gun that looks like a mobile phone

hplasm
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Meh

Re: "Absolutely no one can make sense of the United States' infatuation with firearms."

". A well-armed populace employs its government instead of fearing it."

So how many guns each do you need to stop fearing your Govt? They seem to be taking the piss no matter how many guns you have.

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hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: "Absolutely no one can make sense of the United States' infatuation with firearms."

"Guns are tools on this side of the pond. Plain & simple."

Sorry Jake- It's the plain and simple Tools with Guns that are the problem on your side of the pond, not the people who need them as tools.

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Oculus Rift review-gasm round-up: The QT on VR

hplasm
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Meh

Re: He's probably right

"...what the MITS Altair was to a Windows PC."

Better?

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Surface Hub: A Howard Hughes folly, or a cunning Post It Note killer?

hplasm
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Facepalm

"... I get the feeling that I'm going to be told to buy one fairly soon."

Well, they can always get rid of some of the users to pay for it- and save the cash in not buying them PCs...

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US govt says it has cracked killer's iPhone, legs it from Apple fight

hplasm
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Happy

Re: LOL

He disguised himself as an iPhone and made friends with the TerrPhone.

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Snowden 'more helpful than dangerous' says ex-Colin Powell aide

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: Now I've come close to reading everything

Oh dear, the post-op hormones are playing up, eh ex-Tank Girl?

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Computers shouldn't smoke. Cigarettes aren't healthy for anyone

hplasm
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Happy

Time Computers-

-near Blackburn?

If so you should put their comms room up for El Reg cabling madness (can't remember the exact thread) if you can get any old pictures. More of a deathtrap than a gungy PC, it was Impossible to enter and leave without at least one cable coming loose and tripping up the unwary visitor, and woe betide any attempts at putting the plug back in wherever it came from... only Indiana Jones could traverse the web of tripwires!

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Mud sticks: Microsoft, Windows 10 and reputational damage

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Reality Check

Stockholm syndrome kicking in ok?

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hplasm
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WTF?

Re: I'll give you a clue: no, you don't. You really, really don't....

"The idea that my company needs greater OS security paranoia than a world top ten Investment Bank ...".

Hahahahhahaah!!! You've obviously never worked in a Bank's IT department...

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: So..

No, Snakes on a Plane has a certain charm...

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Microsoft did Nazi that coming: Teen girl chatbot turns into Hitler-loving sex troll in hours

hplasm
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Joke

Re: And on the other side of the world:

"...the garbage that's one English Language Literary prizes."

They can't be that bad- 'Tay' (ugh) didn't even place...

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hplasm
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Facepalm

And on the other side of the world:

http://www.digitaltrends.com/cool-tech/japanese-ai-writes-novel-passes-first-round-nationanl-literary-prize/

Good classy AI work, MS...

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Microsoft introduces yet another Skype for Windows 10

hplasm
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Happy

Re: With all the random changes of direction at Redmond-

"Does it run Hitler-loving sex-mad AI's?"

Only the NT version...

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hplasm
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Facepalm

With all the random changes of direction at Redmond-

- management meetings must look like the bridge of the Enterprise under fire, with Sadnav & Co careening off of the walls.

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Pebble axes quarter of its workers after fitness pivot

hplasm
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Unhappy

There goes Pebble-

From the best, first smartwatch to a me-too! wannabe.

It'll be running Win10 next...

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EU ministers to demand more data access after Brussels attacks

hplasm
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Facepalm

But surely...

It's not more Info they need, it's more Cops!!!

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MH-370 search loses sharpest-eyed robot deep beneath the waves

hplasm
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Alien

Re: Plane goes missing, search robot goes missing…

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!

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UK.gov kicks long awaited digi strategy into long grass, blames EU referendum

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: Bunkum as a policy

Vaizey said he wants to the UK to become a "gigabit Britain" over the next ten years.

Which means each citizen will have a gigabit of data about them on file. At least.

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Tracy Emin dons funeral shroud, marries stone

hplasm
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Pint

Listen-!

-hear the gentle song of the mighty whale! Whooook!

Shit! Hipsters- run! Before they see the Emin...

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Your money or your life! Another hospital goes down to ransomware

hplasm
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Coat

Re: And the moral is.......?

"That said, it's harder to get much lower than attacking a hospital!"

As a Microsoft reseller? True, true...

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Canuck named as next UK privacy watchdog

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Canadians slowly taking over the UK...

William Shatner for PM!

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Azure's wobbly day as three services glitch around the world

hplasm
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Meh

Re: The Cloud...

The Azure Cloud...

Somebody else's computers they have no control over.

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Clear April 12: Windows, Samba to splat curious 'crucial' Badlock bug

hplasm
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Devil

Wheatley would make better software than Microsoft

Yes, Dennis Wheatley.

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Comms 'redlining' in Brussels as explosions kill up to 30 people

hplasm
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Facepalm

"I care about not being blown to pieces when going about my daily business."

Stay in your home, citizen. Nice and safe.

Or move to the US, land of the brave- you should fit right in.

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hplasm
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Mushroom

Re: Not only in the capital

If the bastards win, that's when they will start the serious killing. Presumably all "infidel"s?

Infidels with nukes... won't end well.

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Hands on with the BBC's Micro:Bit computer. You know, for kids

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: Oh man

T connectors?

Not token ring- maybe Appletalk, econet or 10Base2 Ethernet...

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Ofcom wants to crack down on pisspoor BT Openreach biz lines

hplasm
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Meh

"... where the finance for the next generation of BT's network is supposed to come from."

Easy. Taxpayer handouts, again.

Don't expect results though.

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Boffins find a way to put your facial expression on Donald Trump's mug

hplasm
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Happy

Arnie has previous-

Framed as the Butcher of Bakersfield!

www.imdb.com/title/tt0093894/

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Microsoft sets date for SQL Server on Linux

hplasm
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Pirate

Re: This is a severe comment (or, maybe, severed?)

"Nah, they are al too busy writing apps in the 'R' language."

Like software Pirates? RRRRR!!

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Too Naked for the Nazis streaks to literary glory

hplasm
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Coat

A Cultural History of the Anus

Sequel to the poplular work 'Prehistoric Anuses.'

A forerunner to Hansard.

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Microsoft's Linux Inquisitor Grand Master is off to Spotify

hplasm
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Devil

I suppose-

That Spotify will only be updated on Win10 versions in the future...?

</see Skype>

(Yes, I know, it's more like a Nokia scenario...)

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Secure email bods ProtonMail open signup floodgates to world+dog

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Price

" Admittedly I'm one of a vanishingly small set of people who use both windows phone and protonmail!"

Vanishing due to the logical syllogism of the combination...

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hplasm
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Coat

'Appy apps...

From 'Appy Valley, not Silicon Valley! Eeee!

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Mighty Soyuz stands proud at Baikonur

hplasm
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Happy

...and the humans are normal human sized (I assume ...)

No, they're astro(cosmonauts) so bigger than normal, by default, being engorged with the Right Stuff!

(Not actually larger...physically.)

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Brits seek rousing name for polar research vessel

hplasm
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Coat

In Memoriam, Fr Jack Hackett...

RRS Feck!

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Microsoft throws $$$$s at resellers who snare shiny new cloudy punters

hplasm
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Devil

The smell of desperate bean-counters.

It sounds as though they are expecting a bad end-of-year report, eh?

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Get lost, Windows 10 and Phone fans: No maps HERE on Microsoft's OS

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Developer support depends on Microsoft delivering the right eco-system

"...a 4 hp motor spinning at 19,000 rpm with suitable tooling attached..."

Doesn't the Windows EULA specifically say not to do just that very thing? Eek!

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Attackers packing malware into PowerShell

hplasm
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Meh

Re: So...

So...

...it has to get past your email spam defenses,

then pass the AV defenses,

then it's in.

FTFY

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Oops! Microsoft says its 'Bitcoin ban' was a bug, not a feature

hplasm
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Holmes

Impressive-

A bug that can generate a web page, complete with different header, sub-header, fonts and text.

Pity other MS products aren't as good.

Where's the BS icon?

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Like masochism? Run a PC? These VXers want to help you pwn yourself

hplasm
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Devil

Sounds like a W10 upgrade...

" PC users are told to click on “More Information” -> “Download anyway” "

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Nest: It's no longer all about you. Now it can recognize your kids, too

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: What is the obsession

"So we know one more thing about you: smug but meaningless."

Aren't you going to tell the class what it is you know, not how you feel about it? Or are you not as sure as your handle might suggest?

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hplasm
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Re: What is the obsession

The aggression comes from your assumption that your life is so important and much busier and better than mine or anyone else that doesn't share your joy at this gewgaw. It seems to certainly be making you hot under the collar. Perhaps your fancy nest-o-stat is not as great as you may think?

You don't have to sod off- that was me being grumpy, I concede.

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hplasm
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IT Angle

Re: What is the obsession

"...Of course there are many people with slightly more complicated lives"

Ah- I see you fall into the snowflake category as well.

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hplasm
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Flame

Re: What is the obsession

You missed the troll icon. You know nothing about me, but now I can guess that you love shiny.

Some people use technology to make their lives easier.. Some people are lazy- I understand that.

I could guess that you are one, but I won't.

Now sod off.

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hplasm
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Facepalm

What is the obsession

with frobnicating your thermostat from a distance? It's on the damn wall- get up and change it.

If you're not in- don't mess with it. Heating has had timers since the days of clockwork.

Or is it that Snowflakes might melt of they come home to the wrong temperature...

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Behold, Microsoft SQL Server on Linux – and a firm screw-you to Oracle

hplasm
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Meh

Super Excited...

Why is it whenever someone at MS is 'super excited' it never really trickles down?

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David Cameron hints at Budget law change to end mobile not-spots

hplasm
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Coat

How about...

one or two really tall masts- you could cover the whole country if they were tall enough...

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Ad-slinger Opera adds ad-blocking tech to its browser

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Eh?

Opera always used to have a nice point-and-click blocker for adverts and unwanted screen crap. I wonder where that went- probably discarded along with the original browser engine?

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Cisco says CLI becoming interface of last resort

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: History repeats itself

"In my own experience,the introduction of GUIs for use by DBAs ..."

DBAs aren't network engineers...

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