* Posts by hplasm

3930 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Feds slap Rentboy.com boss with further charges

hplasm
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Meh

"...so *why* was this one singled out?"

There's an election brewing in the good ol' US... 'morality' rears it's sleepy head.

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UK.gov plans to unveil a new Digital Bill

hplasm
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Meh

May I be the first-

to raise a Digit or two to this bill.

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Apple’s retail chief: ‘Touching customers’ key to retail success

hplasm
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Meh

What a big pile.

Of Corporate Bobbins.

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Met Police: Yes, outsourcing IT to Steria has 'risks'

hplasm
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Holmes

YAGIF

Yet Another Govt IT Foulup.

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Lincolnshire council shuts down all IT after alleged 0-day breach

hplasm
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Facepalm

Do I smell-

- MS security? Makes G4S look fabulous.

Where's the 'Bowl of Petunias' icon?

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Retailers urged to create 'CCTV-like' symbol to inform customers of mobile tracking

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: How about...

... a big picture of T May.

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Squeeze the banana to log into this office Wi-Fi

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Unfunny Hunic stuff

This is better- Banana && Raspberry PI!

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How to help a user who can't find the Start button or the keyboard?

hplasm
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Facepalm

Some people....

Really need to be put out to pasture.

With prejudice.

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Blighty's Parliament prescribed tablets to cope with future votes

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Flying The Flag

"I'm fairly sure that:

A. Some one did a cost benefit analysis."

I'm fairly sure you are wrong on that count.

"PS. It says its a surface the OS isn't specified... it could be running Linux for all you know."

I would stake the GNP of the UK on it not.

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hplasm
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Stop

Another waste of cash.

What's wrong with paper, or ebony and ivory balls?

More £££ bleeding to MS by TPTB.

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The last time Earth was this hot hippos lived in Britain (that’s 130,000 years ago)

hplasm
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Coat

Re: So it's not

hippopotamaux...

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hplasm
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It's true!

Looking at the High Street, the hippos are still living here...

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Forget infrasound, now it's ultrasound that's making you ill (allegedly)

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Project MKUltra

MKUltra- Don't they make 13A plugs...?

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hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: What next?

"Any mysterious and invisible energy or substance in our environment..."

Damn Midichlorians!!

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Boffins: There's a ninth planet out there – now we just need to find it

hplasm
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Happy

re:Maybe call it Real Pluto and make everyone happy.

That makes me sad.

How about Pluto Zero?

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hplasm
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Stop

"You know, I really like just plain "Planet Nine"."

No, no, no no,no!

It must be Planet Ten- else what of Planet X?

Also, no matter how large it is, it will probably be classed as a 'Dwarf, Elf or Gnome World.

Pluto is a bloody planet. Get over it. Planet #9.

s/Ninth/Tenth

grr!

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Europe's satellite laser comms system set to shine

hplasm
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Happy

You forgot-

"It should be dubbed SkyNet tho"

...to start that sentence with "chan-"

Who? Me?

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Space podule outfit inks Arizona launch deal

hplasm
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Meh

Good luck with the FAA...

"US space flight firm World View has announced it'll be launching the balloon-lofted passenger podule from a new facility in its home state of Arizona, dubbed "Spaceport Tucson"."

just like LOHAN...

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Dell drops next network OS on the waiting world

hplasm
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Stop

Not another-

'OS' X, 10 , 1010 release.

It's this decade's 'Turbo'. Bloody lazy marketeers!

(Never mind anything '2000' either!!)

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The planets really will be in alignment for the next month

hplasm
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" But what's that massive glowing red cloud thing?"

It's a cloud- but it's leaving rapidly...

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: I see ...

""Jupiter's gone into Orion, and come into conjunction with Mars,

Saturn is wheeling across infinite space to its preordained place in the stars,

And I gaze at the planets in wonder, at the trouble and time they expend,

All to warn me to be careful, in dealings involving a friend"

so in short, you may want to take an umbrella with you tomorrow. Summary- Rain of Fire.

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hplasm
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Alert

In the hills above Dunwich...

something stirs.

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Hot Potato exploit mashes old vulns into Windows System 'sploit

hplasm
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Coat

Hot Potato?

Seems like a mashup...

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Microsoft: We’ve taken down the botnets. Europol: Would Sir like a kill switch, too?

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: Boom!

"They haven't enacted it, so how is it shooting themselves in the foot?"

That's what they do best. Infected PC? MS will kill it. Don't want your PC to die? Don't use MS.

Boom.

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Boom!

Footshot!!

Again...

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Knock yourselves out, Microsoft.

Oh- that IS what you will do, isn't it?

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Microsoft herds biz users to Windows 10 by denying support for Win 7 and 8 on new CPUs

hplasm
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Trollface

Re: The hate energy from El Reg is high today!

"I used to visit this site to laugh with El Reg, now I laugh at you."

No, you didn't.

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Russian Pastafarian wins right to bear colander

hplasm
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FAIL

Fighting talk!

" "Pastafarian is not actually a religion. Rather it is a philosophy that mocks religion.""

Replace Pastafarian with any other religion and see what happens.

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No escape: Microsoft injects 'Get Windows 10' nagware into biz PCs

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Perfectly understandable

"Digital interface would be fingers poked in eyes surely"

Not if the digits are tightly packed...

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: Perfectly understandable

"My I make make my fist available to your face?"

Digital Interface!

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: I am not a fucking product.

"but id much rather be blowing stuff up on Just Cause 3."

Cause Windows is a toy OS.

Where's the whiny manchild icon?

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2015 was the Year of the Linux Phone ... Nah, we're messing with you

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: every year is the year of the moped.

You can pull a caravan with your moped?

wow.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Moving on up!

"At the very least we'll be ready for a big push when Microsoft follows Digital into self-inflicted oblivion."

And people mourn Digital going.

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Microsoft wants you, yes you, to write bits of Windows 10. For free

hplasm
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Devil

Re: An opportunity

you mean- ook ook ook ook ook ?

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Learn you Func Prog on five minute quick!

hplasm
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Happy

May I just be the first to say-

EEK!

Thanks.

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NASA photos: Dawn's December deep-dive haul arrives on Earth

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Hmmmm

Dantooine?

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Boozing is unsafe at ‘any level’, thunders chief UK.gov quack

hplasm
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Pint

Aiee!

"it is approximately the same risk that someone has when they do an every day task such as driving a car."

Well, if it ain't safe to have a drink, it ain't safe to go to work. I quit!

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Smartphone hard, dudes, like it’s the end of the world!

hplasm
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"the M25" Definitely one to avoid.

That, according to pterry* IS a particle accelerator- and seeing as it is chock full of knobs, could be called a Large Hardon Collider...

*Good Omens, + Neil Gaiman

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Chinese unleash autonomous airborne taxi

hplasm
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Happy

There we go-

The Future is here, and it is Chinese.

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Apple buys mood sniffer AI firm Emotient. Stop rolling your eyes at me, user

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Just wait... Until your iPhone gets fecal recognition...

"Siri- what is Windows 10?"

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Did North Korea really just detonate a hydrogen bomb? Probably not

hplasm
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Re: Of course there is the possibility...

Perhaps the Heavy water was damp?

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ISPs: UK.gov should pay full costs of Snooper's Charter hardware

hplasm
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Meh

Perhaps-

Terrrrrsa May could pay for it, and claim it back on expenses?

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GCHQ mass spying will 'cost lives in Britain,' warns ex-NSA tech chief

hplasm
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Big Brother

Looking for Terrorists?

Check your Government.

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Thinking of buying a Surface? Try a modular OLED Thinkpad first

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Has Lenovo given up their spy/adware?

It seems that it does have Win 10.

Make of that what you may.

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SpaceX makes rocket science look easy: Falcon 9 passes tests

hplasm
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Happy

Re: How many times?

" me vomiting whilst a crewmate (or rather, flight attendant) pulls down my trousers and injects a syringe of anti-nausea medication into my buttock."

And people think a vegetarian option on air flights is progress.

How much extra would you pay for this service?

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Aroused Lycra-clad cyclist prompts Manchester cop dragnet

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Perhaps the commentard meant

Tucking into waistband after passing over collar and tying a good old Windsor knot.

Stops the tip curling up, like Dilbert's... tie.

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hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: Nips?

To the Moralist, all the human body is disgusting.

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What did we learn today? Microsoft has patented the slider bar

hplasm
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Windows

Re: MSFT Baaaad!

"So MSFT aren't allowed intellectual property rights?"

No, MSFT aren't allowed to own others intellectual property rights. Nor dictate them.

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US Marines kill noisy BigDog robo-mule for blowing their cover

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: mental disconnect

See! Who said the US never won anything?

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After Death Star II blew: Dissecting the tech of Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens

hplasm
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Alien

Technology

Any decent tech capable of interstellar flight should have a usable lifetime measured in thousands of years- alien tech doubly so. Anything less, probably MoD spec'ced...

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