Feeds

* Posts by hplasm

2605 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Ofcom flogs ex-military 4G spectrum, but ONLY the iPhone 5 can use it

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Frequencies on the up..

"... live or dead flesh - hopefully only the latter would be found in microwave ovens :-)"

Just wait a few minutes, then this is true for all cases...

0
0

Samsung Galaxy Note 3: Once, twice, three times - a Very Large Phone™

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: how RETRO

Don't let mmeier hear you say that...

0
0

Kids hooked up with free Office subs at Microsoft-addicted schools

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

365 ProPlus

A vain attempt by MS to keep people awake at their latest new cloud release...

7
1

Laptops Snowden took to Hong Kong and Russia 'just a decoy'

hplasm
Silver badge
Joke

Re: QDOS?

No backdoors, unlike MSDOS...

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: I hope Snowden didn't eat anything they might have given him

"That way if he died naturally..."

He wouldn't care any more...

4
0

Windows Phone 8 INFLATED by Microsoft ... to satisfy lonely phablets

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: You can put lipstick on a pig....people like me.

Grandmas, Trolls & Fanbois, then.

12
5

Oracle brass past and present tapped for Microsoft CEO - report

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Humans need not apply

"Imperials" - it is a US company...

3
0

Island-hopping Beardy Branson: I'm dodging rain, not taxes

hplasm
Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: So tell us Mr. Branson

To make you jealous.

3
1

Leaping SpaceX GRASSHOPPER ROCKET jumps 2,500ft, lands safely

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: extra flame

"Oh, that's just for added coolness. :-)"

Extra heat, shurely...

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Awesome soundtrack

If you watch it with the sound off, I swear you can hear the Thunderbirds theme...

9
0

MS Word deserves DEATH says Brit SciFi author Charles Stross

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: "anyone got any bat's blood?"

Dracula?

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Gates should be canonized

Do you mean tied to the front of a cannon? Just wondering...

21
0

Murdoch calls for world+dog to 'expose' Google

hplasm
Silver badge
Pirate

Re: 'What exactly was Rupert drinking?'

Whatever it was, it needs more hemlock. This, with crossbones --->

10
0

Office wage slaves face extinction at hands of ROBOTS - if bosses listen to Gartner

hplasm
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: Translation:

We'll all be 3d world countries soon...

6
0

Wanna run someone over in your next Ford? No dice, it won't let you

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Is it clever enough....

Aarg! A Badgerpheasant!

It's coming right at us! Twat it!

1
0

That 'DIAMOND SUPER EARTH' may actually be WORTHLESS ball of gas

hplasm
Silver badge
Unhappy

Pah.

Diamondium...

0
0

Microsoft covers Brit who penetrated Windows 8.1 with GOLD

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: D'you know how much a set of horse shoes cost nowadays?

have you seen the cost of MS licences?

0
0

Microsoft store staff to hold all night vigil for Surface 2

hplasm
Silver badge
FAIL

Re:[citation needed]

Haven't you got a wiki to polish?

1
1
hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: How appropriate!

Pitbull vs Bullshit!

Battle!

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Who would queue up at midnight for this?

All night vigil- or deathwatch? Time will tell.

But it's probably the latter...

0
0

Expert chat: The end of Windows XP and IE6

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Oxymoron...

Vista drivers available that work

1
1

MI5 boss: Snowden leaks of GCHQ methods HELPED TERRORISTS

hplasm
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: "Like being crushed by a walrus that's fallen from a zeppelin low."

Can we have this as an new Reg measure of 'not likely to happen'?

ta.

4
0

Happy 10th b-day, Patch Tuesday: TWO critical IE 0-day bugs, did you say?

hplasm
Silver badge

Really how crap is the WIndows OS?

About 8.

2
0

Brit inventor Dyson challenges EU ruling on his hoover's energy efficiency ratings

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: I'm not a fast driver either BTW...

In a Passat? No...

1
1

UK plant bakes its millionth Raspberry Pi

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Well done

I blame the Department for Eduction.

3
1

The Vulture 2: What paintjob should we put on our soaraway spaceplane?

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Why not...

You rotten swine, you...

2
0

Sysadmins fail to fix NHS IT snafu, HUNDREDS of appointments cancelled

hplasm
Silver badge

Re: This is what happens...

If you're BillG's brother, perhaps...

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

AD problems

So it seems.

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

"network problems"

Ah- that old chestnut.

2
0

Beat this, cloud giants! Musk rocket flings 1TB hard drive into SPAAACE

hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Microsoft planned a similar service

They replaced the satellites with a series of blimps.

Some of them are still in charge there.

0
0

Apple hires streaming vid bloke: Nurse, the corpse of Apple monster telly is twitching again

hplasm
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: An "open plane" would just crash.

Which one; X, Y or Z?

2
0

A £30,000, 295bhp 4G MODEM?!? Must be the Audi S3 Quattro, then

hplasm
Silver badge
Devil

How about a voice alert to remind Audi drivers-

To use their fucking indicators!

15
1

Former Microsoftie in AUTOMATIC BEER MAKER funding plea

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: A few other ingredients

"Shtop! This Ex-M$ beer is not ready!"

6
0

Hackers just POURING through unpatched Internet Explorer zero-day hole

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

Re: It doesn't matter what browser you use.. @hplasm

"...do you realise that trotting out the same old crap here is likely to have zero effect..."

Indeed- see Microsoft sales.

0
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Holmes

It doesn't matter what browser you use..

If it is as shitty and unpatched as IE,that is.

No matter how much it is "improved", using it is like Groundhog Day.

Time after time, the same headline... you could use a rubber stamp.

Don't use it.

14
5

Windows Phone market share hits double digits in UK and France

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Here we go again

"There are plenty of Nokias to be seen about on public transport in the City of London, and around the square mile..."

Which proves something- but I don't think it's as good as you might imagine...

3
1

WHY didn't Microsoft buy RIM? Us business blokes would have queued for THAT phone

hplasm
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: WTF indeed.

Get back in Marketing.

2
0

Douglas Adams was RIGHT! TINY ALIENS are invading Earth, say boffins

hplasm
Silver badge
Alien

Eek!

I know that photo...

Andromeda.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066769/

1
0

Fanbois shun 'crappy plastic' iPhone 5C

hplasm
Silver badge
WTF?

" the tech savvy who formed the queues"

Whaaat?

A new spin on the words 'tech' and 'savvy' perhaps?

13
0

Boffins: Earth will be habitable for only 1.75 BEEELLION more years

hplasm
Silver badge
Alien

Re: Gliese 581d, getting there

"creatures that make velicoraptors look like koala bears by comparison."

I take it you're not aquainted with the Ob'enn, then?

Velocirapters, pah.

1
0

Ex-CEO Elop's plunder to total $25m in voyage from Nokia to Microsoft

hplasm
Silver badge
Meh

It's always

Make Out Like a Pirate Day, in the US

1
0

One year to go: Can Scotland really declare gov IT independence?

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Will they want their own super-duper computer/

No need- the bit of seaweed works well!

2
0

Windows Phone overtakes Apple's market share ... in India

hplasm
Silver badge
Windows

I love the smell-

of PR spin in the morning.

It smells like....desperation.

5
7

IBM proffers $1bn for Linux development on Power

hplasm
Silver badge
Linux

Re: Nice

Enough to see it as a threat?

3
0

THE TRUTH about beaver arse milk in your cakes: There's nothing vanilla about vanilla

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: @Robin: financially viable ?

It's not like real vanilla grows on trees...

5
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Coat

Beaver juice-

Not fishy?

2
0

Microsoft relents: 'Go ahead, install Windows 8.1 on clean PCs'

hplasm
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Generating a lot of "EH"

8H8 !

4
0
hplasm
Silver badge
Gimp

Why cut MS some slack?

Just give them enough rope.

And a gag for the fanbois.

3
0
hplasm
Silver badge

Re: Insane

Where do you want to go today? WRONG ANSWER!

9
0

Microsoft puts something hard and sensitive in your pocket

hplasm
Silver badge
Headmaster

Surely-

"Bring success to our company, this will not .."

3
0