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* Posts by hplasm

2637 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Ofcom: By 2017, even BUMPKINS will have superfast broadband

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Bumkins?

No, it's a small fluffy bum.

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Microsoft: You've got it all WRONG. It's Apple's iPad playing catch-up with our Surface

hplasm
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Devil

Re:Tell me, does the Surface still run Windows 8?

Up until the next upgrade...

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: literally

Seriously?

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hplasm
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Happy

Haha!

...rivals are now quivering in the shadow of the new Surface machines.

Trying not to laugh out loud...

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Microsoft: Ha ha, my Wall Street friends - THIS time the victory is OURS

hplasm
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Devil

Re:I. Just. Need. Shit. To. Work.

And now you have some.

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Hard-as-woodpecker-lips MOUSE GOBBLES live scorpion, LAUGHS off stings to face

hplasm
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Coat

Grasshopper Mouse-

Student of Mouster Po.

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SEX CRAZED FISH keeping hapless Southamptonites awake

hplasm
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Coat

Re: So teach them the words...

The fish hum because they are ... Surströmming!

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Capita splashes £57.5m on Eye-of-Sauron car-park watchdog biz

hplasm
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Devil

Can't wait for the ink to dry on this one.

Just before the Govt decide to make such Car-park CCTV illegal.

(If ever...)

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Surface 2 and iPad Air: Prepare to meet YOUR DOOM under a 'Landfill Android' AVALANCHE

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Fanboi is as fanboi does

FTA-

"Somewhat surprisingly, one problem highlighted by McKinsey was interoperability with some office documents. But it was clearly noted that a simple update on all Linux desktops to the latest versions of OpenOffice could fix that particular issue.

A second study last year by the consultancy group found that a shift to a pure Windows environment on the German Foreign Office's desktop computers would be costly and work-intensive"

Facts, eh. Just as inconvenient as 'OOXML is a Standard' Standards...

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hplasm
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Unhappy

I hope that-

is true for "pro-sumer" too.

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hplasm
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Gimp

Fanboi is as fanboi does

"...as the Germans found out when they tried the switch. Epic fail."

"A person who make a decision based on ideology or dogma is zealot aka "Fanboi"."

Yes, you do seem to fit the criteria of your own argument.

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: MS will win

"OOXML (an ISO standard no less)"

Don't make me laugh, Fanboi.

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hplasm
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Devil

Haha

Cheap good quality crap sells better than expensive low quality crap. Wow.

Apple still does well too with expensive high quality crap.

What was that word- fragmentation? Looks like MS has that to worry about, more than Android.

And landfill- another word that fits their disposable unloved slabs better than the competition.

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Anonymous and pals gather in support of girl at centre of rape case

hplasm
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Happy

Re: What a strange concept of pleasure you must have

"I can honestly say I've never enjoyed anything sufficiently to soil my underwear."

Then you have never had a decent curry.

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HAD IT with Planet Earth? There are 12 alien worlds left to try out

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Gravity

Probably the ones with a similar size and mass...

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Oz racehorse shod with 3D-printed titanium hoofwear

hplasm
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Happy

Re: If only someone had told them..

"This is one side of a horse. the other side is much the same."

N. Molesworth.

As any fule kno...

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Surface Pro 2: It's TOOL-PROOF and ultimately destined for LANDFILL

hplasm
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Coat

Re: haha

Well, it doesn't have many fans outside of it...

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HP CEO Whitman: We've built the PC that GOD wants

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Oh?

Well, gods don't run Windows.

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Microsoft boffins test rival 'Google Glass' geek goggles, say insiders

hplasm
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Devil

Re: The new Microsoft

"They will have been doing this for years."

What-

"...running round desperately (and badly) copying Google and Apple several years later."

Ah, true.

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Surface 2 MYSTERY: Haswell's here, so WHY the duff battery life?

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Ditch Windows, save the planet?

"Probably them all..."

That explains the state of the economy in a nutshell then...

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Bacteria-chomping phages could kill off HOSPITAL SUPERBUGS

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: One question...

Because each type of phage eats one type of bacteria- nothing like antibiotics.

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hplasm
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Facepalm

About time!

Someone has been holding back research on these.

Anyone wonder why?

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Windows 8.1: A bit square, sure, but WAIT! It has a Start button

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Just an idea

Right and wrong.

The future doesn't have Microsoft in it

If it did,it wouldn't be the future- just a bad and more expensive version of the past. .

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: No point in saying you like W8 around here.

You just get slagged off as a heretic...

It's official- Win 8 is a religion.

Fire at will!

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hplasm
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Linux

Re: Ashamed to say

Oh mmeier,

Pen, is envy?

Get a Mac or an A3 pad..Windows has no future in Germany.

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Ashamed to say

"Christ, these people who bitch about Win8 are computer illiterates."

And yet, not stupid enough to like it. Funny that,

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Annoying - and not the OS

"Stop whining! Enjoy the bounty."

Not where MS are trying to shove it.

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'Microsoft Word is a tyrant of the imagination'

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Mircosoft makes 'Productivity Software' sound like an xymoron

an xymoron - an idiot with a graph.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: A tard...

Perhaps he was channeling Troy Tempest?

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Windows 8.1: Read this BEFORE updating - especially you, IT admins

hplasm
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Windows

Re: No internet for the rest of the month ?

Come on, it's 2013, get a better OS provider

FTFY.

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Microsoft Partner Downloads

Windows Servers running Windows Server?

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METEORITES, not MEN, are FROM MARS: NASA rover's shock discovery

hplasm
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Happy

Re: And the answer to the Ultimate Question...

Dougla?

There were more than one of him? Who knew...

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Ofcom flogs ex-military 4G spectrum, but ONLY the iPhone 5 can use it

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Frequencies on the up..

"... live or dead flesh - hopefully only the latter would be found in microwave ovens :-)"

Just wait a few minutes, then this is true for all cases...

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Samsung Galaxy Note 3: Once, twice, three times - a Very Large Phone™

hplasm
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Happy

Re: how RETRO

Don't let mmeier hear you say that...

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Kids hooked up with free Office subs at Microsoft-addicted schools

hplasm
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Devil

365 ProPlus

A vain attempt by MS to keep people awake at their latest new cloud release...

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Laptops Snowden took to Hong Kong and Russia 'just a decoy'

hplasm
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Joke

Re: QDOS?

No backdoors, unlike MSDOS...

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hplasm
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Holmes

Re: I hope Snowden didn't eat anything they might have given him

"That way if he died naturally..."

He wouldn't care any more...

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Windows Phone 8 INFLATED by Microsoft ... to satisfy lonely phablets

hplasm
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Meh

Re: You can put lipstick on a pig....people like me.

Grandmas, Trolls & Fanbois, then.

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Oracle brass past and present tapped for Microsoft CEO - report

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Humans need not apply

"Imperials" - it is a US company...

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Island-hopping Beardy Branson: I'm dodging rain, not taxes

hplasm
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Mushroom

Re: So tell us Mr. Branson

To make you jealous.

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Leaping SpaceX GRASSHOPPER ROCKET jumps 2,500ft, lands safely

hplasm
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Coat

Re: extra flame

"Oh, that's just for added coolness. :-)"

Extra heat, shurely...

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hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Awesome soundtrack

If you watch it with the sound off, I swear you can hear the Thunderbirds theme...

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MS Word deserves DEATH says Brit SciFi author Charles Stross

hplasm
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Coat

Re: "anyone got any bat's blood?"

Dracula?

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Gates should be canonized

Do you mean tied to the front of a cannon? Just wondering...

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Murdoch calls for world+dog to 'expose' Google

hplasm
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Pirate

Re: 'What exactly was Rupert drinking?'

Whatever it was, it needs more hemlock. This, with crossbones --->

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Office wage slaves face extinction at hands of ROBOTS - if bosses listen to Gartner

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Translation:

We'll all be 3d world countries soon...

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Wanna run someone over in your next Ford? No dice, it won't let you

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Is it clever enough....

Aarg! A Badgerpheasant!

It's coming right at us! Twat it!

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That 'DIAMOND SUPER EARTH' may actually be WORTHLESS ball of gas

hplasm
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Unhappy

Pah.

Diamondium...

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Microsoft covers Brit who penetrated Windows 8.1 with GOLD

hplasm
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Happy

Re: D'you know how much a set of horse shoes cost nowadays?

have you seen the cost of MS licences?

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Microsoft store staff to hold all night vigil for Surface 2

hplasm
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FAIL

Re:[citation needed]

Haven't you got a wiki to polish?

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