* Posts by hplasm

3148 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

A Bombe Called Christopher, or A Very Poor Imitation

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Yes It's terrible

"So is "Cryptonomicon", of course."

It's Hollywood. The Necronomicon is more accurate...

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Cubans defy government's home internet ban with secret home-made network

hplasm
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Happy

Re: cantenna?

"...or violate the laws of physics."

Use neutrinos- they laugh at the curve of the earth, but respect the laws of physics!

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MYSTERY RADIO SIGNAL picked up from BEYOND our GALAXY

hplasm
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Coat

Re: I find your observation...

Surely...

^0^

</Spock off>

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Why so tax-shy, big tech firms? – Bank of England governor

hplasm
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Devil

Re: "the challenge will be for people to develop skills that cannot be displaced by machines"

"...a machine that costs less than 130'000 GBP."

Wait until you see the new MS perpetual licence scheme...

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Doomsday Clock says 3 MINUTES to MIDNIGHT. Again

hplasm
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Coat

It's obvious-

The clock has advanced due to the threat of Page 3 being removed...

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Free Windows 10 could mean the END for Microsoft and the PC biz

hplasm
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Facepalm

"It's apparently a chargeable upgrade..."

I read that as a charitable upgrade...

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Microsoft will give away Windows 10 FREE - for ONE year

hplasm
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Windows

Re: and a new device to be announced later today.

"the new Super-Duper Microsoft ZuneBob Bingthing,"

They have announced the name of the new Surface 4 as well?

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hplasm
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Linux

Re: The unasked question

It doesn't understand the concept- as usual... Does Not Play Well With Others V10.

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Windows 10, day ZERO ... Will Nadella be the HERO?

hplasm
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Devil

"although the absolute ignorance of software"

There is MS's problem, in a nutshell.

Well done for pointing that out.

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Wizard of Oz OFFICIALLY 'most significant movie' EVER, says PNAS

hplasm
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Devil

What if...

They reference a book, and then 30 years later, the book is made into a film- and then a film is made that refers to the film that refers to the original book...

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NASA probe snaps increasingly detailed shots of MOIST DWARF goddess

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

So-

IF Pluto is ('nt) a dwarf planet, and Ceres is a dwarf planet, how many bloody planets are in the 'Solar System' now?

8, 9 or 10 (or more...)?

CBA Googling- it's snowing...

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MARS NEEDS BROADBAND, insists Elon Musk

hplasm
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Devil

Newsflash 2050

Mars Colony 3 still has faster broadband than UK.

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GRENADE! Project Zero pops pin on ANOTHER WINDOWS 0-DAY

hplasm
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Windows

"The guy seems like exactly what MS needs."

An administrator?

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NINETY new DOOM ASTEROIDS found in 2014

hplasm
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Facepalm

Surely-

Rocks like these are where we should be spending billions of "Terror Threat" monies?

(Not actually on them...)

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: 1.5 MILLION SCOVILLE masala omelette

hplasm
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Flame

Re: I did a whole Bhut Jolokia

The best mouth extinguisher I have found is Cointreau, neat. For some reason it kills the heat stone dead.

It may ignite though- perhaps I've been lucky so far...

Does nothing for the other end.

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Microsoft rolls out even cheaper 'Notkia' Lumias

hplasm
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Devil

After Landfill Android

Comes Ballast Lumia...

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Demon Internet goes TITSUP: Outage borks ancient ISP

hplasm
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Coat

Re: AFTER 13:45

It implies sometime after the late 14th Century...

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Warning: Using encrypted email in Spain? Do not pass go, go directly to jail

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Choose the right fight

Arrested for discussing pliers now!

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Preserve the concinnity of English, caterwauls American university

hplasm
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Holmes

"Apparently this form has superseded the old way."

No. From time immemorial, teachers have been known to be Wrong.

They don't like it when you tell them either.

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hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: funny

q.v. The quaint verse, "One man went to mow."

Look it up yerselves....

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: Sesquipedalian Bollocks.

Bollock back...

It just provide that Pols should stick to words of one syllable, or preferably, fewer.

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SpaceX drone hovership ROCKET LANDER BURN: Musk to try again

hplasm
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Happy

God speed-

Is that faster than Ludicrous Speed?

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This $10 phone charger will wirelessly keylog your boss

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Decrypt any Microsoft wireless keyboard: MUH TRUSTED COMPUTING!!

" It's true that they don't say it's reasonably sniffproof, just "suitable for use in a commercial setting"."

But they don't even indemnify their OSs as"suitable for use in a commercial setting". Or anywhere else, for that matter...

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Hawking and friends: Artificial Intelligence 'must do what we want it to do'

hplasm
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Stop

Re: "Our AI systems must do what we want them to do"

" I fear that the "three laws" would make such systems impossible."

I hope that the "three laws" would make such systems impossible.

FTFY

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: Question for people here smarter than me...

"A self aware car might crash because it was day dreaming about flowers."

We've got people for that already.

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French Google fund to pay for 1 million print run of Charlie Hebdo next week

hplasm
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Flame

So-

"I wonder who is behind this post?"

Internet Tough Guy. They love basking in someone else's anything.

Je suis Charlie.

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MI5 boss: We NEED to break securo-tech, get 'assistance' from data-slurp firms

hplasm
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Meh

Want to pry?

Get a warrant.

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Intel offers big bucks for black women

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: surely this is discrimination?

"In other words, the makeup of any company's workforce will tend to reflect the makeup of the applicants for its jobs."

This.

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Get your special 'sound-optimising' storage here, hipsters

hplasm
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Happy

Re: I'll see your audiophile cat 5 and raise you

Is that the same air as between the audiophool's ears?

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ALIEN EARTH: Red sun's habitable world spotted 470 light years away

hplasm
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Joke

Re: Hmmm

"...to determine that they are statistically likely to be planets."

i know some people that this might include by accident...

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Microsoft flings Office apps for Android slabs at world+dog

hplasm
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Meh

They keep finging-

Hoping some will stick...

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Ex-Microsoft Bug Bounty dev forced to decrypt laptop for Paris airport official

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Not a problem

pah!

sudo apt-get install boomex.

sudo ./boomex

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I'm sooooo green: The Beginner's Guide to Krautrock

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Love it..

First time I tried to get Kraftwerk tickets (Free Trade Hall, IIRC) the gig was cancelled due to poor demand.

The next time, and ever after, they have sold out in seconds. Grr.

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SpaceX six days from historic rocket landing attempt

hplasm
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Happy

Re: In world where news is mostly Celebs..

"Never heard the expression "glass half empty", did you..."

Glass too big. This is a tech site, after all...

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El Reg tests portable breathalyzers: Getting drunk so you don't have to

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Whys the rum ALWAYS gone?!?!

Happy New Year to all and sundry!!

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Office MACROS PERIL! Age-old VBScript tactic is BACK in biz attack

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Bullshit

"My whole company administration is automated through VBA. "

You say that with pride?

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Freedom of Info at 10: Tony Blair's WORST NIGHTMARE

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Why?

"He thinks he's a nincompoop..."

Which show he wasn't always wrong.

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Ghosts of Christmas Past: The long-ago geek gifts that made us what we are

hplasm
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Re: What that stationary Mamod steam engine needed was...

A bit like this?:-

http://www.crabfu.com/steamtoys/

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Who wants SLEEP DEPRIVATION for Christmas?

hplasm
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Facepalm

Well, we're all doomed now.

From the BBC article, the egregious phrase:-

"But there has been growing concern about the dangers of light before bedtime."

Dangers. Of light. FFS!

Get our asses to Mars. Don't let any alarmist fuckwits come.

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GCHQ: We can't track crims any more thanks to Snowden

hplasm
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Joke

Re: So

Dimunition- two bullets, one to the body one to the head.

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Welsh council rapped for covert spying on sick leave worker

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: A Morons perspective

"If that makes me a moron then I'm happy to be one."

Most morons are.

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V. R. R. Stob's magnificent saga A Game Of Dog-and-Bones

hplasm
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There should be a Prize

For this work alone!!

Brilliant!

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ESA: Venus probe doomed to fiery death on weird planet's surface

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Crazy ideas...

"Or could the slowdown be a countdown to another resurfacing event?"

Easy to check - look for cones...

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Microsoft says to expect AWESOME things of Windows 10 in January

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: High school adjectives for business solutions

$50 for another version of the Horse-Drawn Aeroplane?

Don't make me laugh...

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NASA asks world+dog to name Mercury's craters (back off, 4chan)

hplasm
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Happy

Banks?

I or I.M

or both?

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30,000 people buy a box of BOVINE EXCREMENT

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Ronseal -

"Non-UK readers might not get that reference."

True, but they can Bing it...

(ack! Sorry...)

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hplasm
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Happy

Ronseal -

The Next Generation...

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FATTIES: Boffins say their miracle sunshine skin cream 'prevents obesity'

hplasm
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Happy

Re: dammit

Death of Rats? It is you- It IS you! Oh bless the maker...!

What's that you have? Looks like a Polytron to me...a really BIG one.

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Bong Ventures LLC: We've been cyberhacked

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Pandora's box

I have a strange, heavy feeling, that all this is based on truth...

Like 'Yes, Minister' was a 'just' comedy show.

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US Navy's LASER CANNON WARSHIP: USS Ponce sent to Gulf

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: It was named after the explorer Juan Ponce de León

"I wonder how many lasers can be powered with 1.21 jigawatts"

Just one. But it's a big bastard.

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