* Posts by hplasm

5610 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Dell promises 'every PC is going to be an AI PC' whether you like it or not

hplasm
Terminator

Re: Every PC is going to be an AI PC

Just wait till you try yanking a ram stick out and it starts singing 'Daisy, Daisy'...

Aircraft rivet hole issues cause delays to Boeing 737 Max deliveries

hplasm
Devil

Re: >but the problem may also exist in 737s already being used by airlines

"At least as far as we know faults with MS software has never caused loss of life.."

That's covered in the EULA,,,

hplasm
Facepalm

Re: MBA Influences on Quality

"By the end of the day, Alan had kick all the consultants off site."

And now he parades them around on TV instead, for big wads of cash.

Windows 11 24H2 is coming so we can all shut up about Windows 12 for another year

hplasm
Facepalm

Re: Bought a new PC

"What’s the prob?!

You'll find out when it *won't* run Win12 for some odd reasom to do with hardware...

hplasm
Meh

Re: Meh

"The joke has long since become a dead horse"

Which joke - Windows 10, 11 or 12?

BOFH: The Christmas party was so good, an independent inquiry is required

hplasm
Happy

Re: Plagiarism?

"Buy my Book!"

Are you affiliated with Kamuicosplay on YT?

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: I guess the truth hurts.

Pipedream also supplied the spreadsheet / wordprovessor on the good old Z88 laptopoid.

You don't get what you don't pay for, but nobody is paid enough to be abused

hplasm
Facepalm

Re: Resilience and redundancy

Redundancy:

Two lines (minimum) *tick*

Different geographic routing - North, South *tick*

Completely separate suppliers. *errr*

oops

US Air Force wants to see some atomic motors for future spacecraft

hplasm
Facepalm

Re: WHAT GOES UP...

"Then what? The effect of a dirty bomb?"

Unike the 528 atmospheric a-bomb tests since WW2 you mean?

Explains all the damn muties running around I suppose...

Word turns 40: From 'new kid on the block' to 'I can't believe it's not bloatware'

hplasm
Devil

Re: That sounds about right...WP for Windows was great big steaming pile of expletive deleted. My

Windows aini't done 'ril WPwon't run...

First Brexit, now X-it: Musk 'considering' pulling platform from EU over probe

hplasm
Facepalm

O- the irony

VPNs are increasingly necessary today, not just for bypassing region restrictions, but to bypass restrictions on free speech in authoritarian regimes.

TwitX has bocome an authoritarian regimes - with 'free speech' for sale

CERN experiment proves gravity pulls antimatter the way Einstein predicted

hplasm
Coat

we've only made enough antimatter ...

Hence the need for ever better and more efficient lightbulbs!

Aliens crash landed on Earth – and Uncle Sam is covering it up, this guy tells Congress

hplasm
Mushroom

Re: Not impossible, just ludicrously unlikely

"There is an alternative: ..."

Now I understand the permise behind Datk Star.

And it's mission...

Bosses face losing 'key' workers after forcing a return to office

hplasm
Coat

Re: I Will Not See You Monday

next Tuesday! "I WILL NOT SEE YOU MONDAY!" See You Next Tuesday! !"

/oblig

BOFH: Lies, damned lies, and standards

hplasm
Coat

Re: Association of Servicepeople for Software and Hardware Over the Lifetime of Equipment.

But there is:

Bishop Grossteste University - Lincoln

( the other is, apparently in the Albert hall, and not as big? )

Turning a computer off, then on again, never goes wrong. Right?

hplasm
Linux

Re: PC Engineers...

"SCO Unix box dies if power is cut without proper shutdown?"

Just like the SCO court case...

hplasm
Alert

Re: Reminds me of an old (early '80s) AI koan ...

"I've seen that on poor written software, but have not seen such a thing from a Microsoft service yet."

** pleonasm analysis failed successfully- tautology detected**

MIT discovery suggests a new class of superconductors

hplasm
Devil

Re: Knok-nock, Neo

"Unless of course our all seeing all knowing entity really isn't that interested in the minute its creation/simulation."

Perhaps he/she/they just bought the kit?

hplasm
Boffin

Re: Occhialini's continuum of materials

"The finest cloths from the furthest of places. Please see also our cornucopia of textures."

Techie wasn't being paid, until he taught HR a lesson

hplasm
Coat

Re: Unique keys

Er,

/Voosh? /wush? /Worcest?

Germans beat Tesla to autonomous L3 driving in the Golden State

hplasm
Alert

Re: Its demographics

"cost of ownership".

I think Mercedes have possibly lowered the cost of 'rental' for their cars - at least in the UK they seem to be the new Boy Racer Chavmobiles.

BMW must be losing street cred...

A toast to being in the right place at the right time

hplasm
Devil

Re: He's toast

I made a kipper vindaloo* - and microwaved it at work...

The Owner's PA loved the scent and wanted some if I made it again.

I did not do that again, though.

Me, a Smeghead* ----------->

(it was nice!)

BOFH: Good news, everyone – we're in the sausage business

hplasm
Coat

Re: gigaspandrels

"frictionless sharing".

er...lube?

Metal-rich stars inhibit chances of life on their planets

hplasm
Boffin

However...

Would a lifeform that sprang up on such a planet not develop to relish the high UV sunlight; adapt and thrive - the crux of Darwinism to local conditions?

"It's life, Jim - but not as we know it..."

UK government scraps smart motorway plans, cites high costs and low public confidence

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: The existing ones don't even meet the spec

^^^This!^^^

Uptime guarantees don't apply when you turn a machine off, then on again, to 'fix' it

hplasm
Happy

Re: Well

"Yes - it goes - 'blub blub blub bloop grr grr blub...' "

Japanese outfit's private Moon mission enters Lunar orbit

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: Wish there were more info on the transfer orbit

Nice explanation!

hplasm
Terminator

Re: Japanese transformable robot on the Moon

"Transformers - Robots in disguise"

That also hum when they are bored of waiting for the call to robot apocalypse...

eek :)

Bing AI feels like ChatGPT stuffed into a suit – not the future

hplasm
Facepalm

Bing will become mainstream...

...just after flamethowers become the preferred replacement for hairdryers.

Microsoft and GM deal means your next car might talk, lie, gaslight and manipulate you

hplasm
Devil

Or - anything from Microsoft that "Just Worked" tm

Any thing from Microsoft that Just... Worked - is released

If we plan to live on the Moon, it's going to need a time zone

hplasm
Terminator

Re: Just set the entire moon to Coordinated Universal Time (UTC +0) ...

COME ON, COHAAGEN! GIVE THESE PEOPLE AIR!

Icon because..

Ford seeks patent for cars that ditch you if payments missed

hplasm
Happy

Re: F.O.R.D

You forgot - The Ford Onion

NASA: Yup, thousand-pound meteorite exploded over Texas

hplasm
Coat

Re: TM-1

Which one? TMA-1 or the Apollo site...

UK prepares to go it alone on post-Brexit science plan

hplasm
Facepalm

What a bunch...

... of fucking gonks.

That is all.

( may apply to any past, present or future government types, anywhere )

Ring system discovered around dwarf planet Quaoar leaves astronomers puzzled

hplasm
Happy

Re: Obviously

Haldeman Collapsar.

We've found the way out of this game!

/if only

BOFH: Generating a report the Director can show the Board – THIS is what AI was made for

hplasm
Terminator

Re: bang up to date

Erm... the two are not exclusive... not any more...

[:] *>

Wyoming's would-be ban on sale of electric vehicles veers off road

hplasm
Happy

Re: I just had to do it...

Battery powered horses?

No, I will not pay the bill. Why? Because we pay you to fix things, not break them

hplasm
Happy

"Tsk. You truly shine out like a shaft of gold when all around you is dark."

"Your Majesty is like a stream of bat's piss!"

Liz Truss ousted as UK prime minister, outlived by online lettuce

hplasm
Meh

"Democracy doesn't count when I disagree with the outcome"

Username checks out...

NASA sets November date for next SLS Moon rocket delay, er, launch

hplasm
Headmaster

Re: Makes you wonder

Ahem...

alot != a lot

Scientists, why not simply invent a working fusion plant using $50m from Uncle Sam

hplasm
Joke

Re: Nuclear fusion power produces abundant amounts of energy

"Mugs have holes. Check your topology."

Klein Mug has hole...

Admins run into Group Policy problems after Win10 update

hplasm
Linux

Looking at the 'fixes' suggested-

It seems that the average Windows user needs the command line more than the average Linux user now.

How have the turns tabled, eh?

NASA to send prototype robot surgeon into space

hplasm
Terminator

May I just be the first to say-

*bootup_sequence_completed*

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency."

Bad news, older tech workers: Job advert language works against you

hplasm
Devil

"And so the language wars begin..."

Begun the language wars have...

BOFH: Selling the boss on a crypto startup

hplasm
Happy

I have said to users that IT kit have star signs

e.g. Cisco, Meccano - any others, people?

I paid for it, that makes it mine. Doesn’t it? No – and it never did

hplasm
Mushroom

Re: You know you're old when...

"There's nothing like the sound of boiling water hissing and bubbling near your ear to pull you into full awareness."

And if you sleep though that.... BUZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!

British intelligence recycles old argument for thwarting strong encryption: Think of the children!

hplasm
Big Brother

Re: Surveillance

"We" by Yevgeny Zamyatin.

People who live in glass houses dare not cast aspersions...

Disentangling the Debian derivatives: Which should you use?

hplasm
Pirate

Re: APT was a killer feature

Devuan - (because) No Shit (SystemD)