* Posts by hplasm

3148 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

French woman gets €800 a month for electromagnetic-field 'disability'

hplasm
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Stop

Well-

If they feel they must award money for this, then there should be a condition; it must be spent on psychiatric treatment.

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Windows 10 now on 75 million devices, says Microsoft

hplasm
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FAIL

Are you the replacement anti-eadon?

You're not very good, are you?

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Prof Hawking cracks riddle of black holes – which may be portals to other universes

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Yea but

"...and you end up WHERE YOU NEED NO EYES"

Grimsby?

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BYOD? More like CYOD as companies still set the parameters

hplasm
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Facepalm

Why?

Why do people insist on letting their company use their kit for nothing - and then dictate how they can use their own kit??

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Twenty years since Windows 95, and we still love our Start buttons

hplasm
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Alert

".....your product is not a choice, it's a necessity."

That's what MS want people to believe- and it's worked up to now... until-

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What's Russia smoking? Kremlin bans Wikipedia for dopey article

hplasm
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Pint

Re: Crowd Control

Crowd Control - Vodka Cannons on the street!

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FBI probed SciFi author Ray Bradbury for plot to glum-down America

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: What does liberal mean

"What does "liberal" actually mean when used by Americans?"

Someone who isn't shackled by my hangups- the bastards!

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: America

"if you still believe in the planet Vulcan..."

True, but it was just a toss-up between Venus and Mars as to where to put the US.

Venus seemed like a better fit, climate-wise.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: America

By Third World you mean it should moved to Venus?

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hplasm
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Coat

Re: Jesus

Jesus reads Slashdot.

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Manhattan-sized iceberg splits from glacier – and spotted FROM SPACE

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Just where do ...

"For the record, I've opted out of procreation..."

But who will stand against the Borg then?

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hplasm
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Coat

Big enough to bury New York City borough under 300m of ice.

Is this a serious proposal? Could be a movie in it...

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Microsoft issues first SharePoint 2016 preview

hplasm
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Facepalm

Sharepoint 2016

Now you can lose your files- in the Cloud!!

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Cortana Android beta goes public

hplasm
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Devil

I got no place to keep her-

Can you give my Creepy Ho a home?

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'Unexpected item in baggage area' assigned to rubbish area

hplasm
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Joke

Re: Using your own bags

Ah - you are that annoying sod that gets in front of me! Nice range of disguises, btw.

Not as amusing as the 'helpful' PFY that kept picking up items from the scales at random and putting them in bags. His mother didn't twig either that was why the Voice kept going off every 20 seconds...

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Canadians taking to spying on their spies

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Go Canada!

The People, not the would-be rulers.

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Get whimsical and win a Western Digital Black 6TB hard drive

hplasm
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Yes, I know I don't look like my profile picture. I don't have a wide-angle lens on the front of this phone.

You look like a hippo on yours.

Yes, I know you are a hippo. Just sayin' - MySpace angle...

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Microsoft will explain only 'significant' Windows 10 updates

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: The seem to be going in an unsavory direction...

"... most of us want to be able to play the latest games and / or run business applications."

Toybox or Shop. Always a difficult executive decision. Why not ask Teddy?

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hplasm
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Windows

So who are they pandering to then?

Tweens with their first tablet.

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NASA dismisses asteroid apocalypse threat

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Show me physical proof god exists

Duh! Look around you. See any gods?

No, but that dogturd looks a bit like a ghost...

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Unholy Hong Kong hackers hit evangelicals with IE 0day

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Hallelujah!

They have a direct fax line to God, don't you know?

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Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank becomes TV reality

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Inner City Sumo

Inner City Sumo - A CCTV camera outside Greggs.

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hplasm
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Meh

Well-

there's actually plenty shittonnes of money in the men's game in several countries and its pro, standard is still poor.

There you go

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Spain triumphs! Fascist anthem hails Spanish badminton champ

hplasm
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Happy

Re: I prefer...

Awake, ye sons of the Motherland!

Woodsmen, grasp your choppers!

Farmers, slaughter the enemies with the tool formerly used for lifting beets!

....Hey Macarena!

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Pirate MEP: Microsoft's walled garden is no consumer pleasure park

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Update?

"What should I do?"

Cheer!

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: RTFM

"What part of "sell your soul to the devil" do you not understand?"

The part where users pay him...

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Apple: Samsung ripped off our phone patent! USPTO: What patent?

hplasm
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Happy

Re: It wasn't just a theoretical design patent...

Siri looks more interesting on the prototype...

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Capita: Listen up redundo staff, we know you're leaving but...

hplasm
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WTF?

Surely-

If there are 'replacements' then the roles are not redundant?

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Hey, folks. Meet the economics 'genius' behind Jeremy Corbyn

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Ignorant git?

Archbishop Carey, Botherer Of god?

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US Air Force reveals what's inside its top-secret space plane, this time

hplasm
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WTF?

Re: The clueless whine...

The clueless whine...

You should consider that as a username. So much better than AC.

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Testing times as NASA rattles Mississippi with mighty motor burn

hplasm
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Coat

Impressive engine-

But who were the daredevils in the gazebo right next to the test stand?

Extreme Marshmallow Toasters?

Deaf People?

Both? ( if a, then probably now c)

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Microsoft replaces Windows 10 patch update, isn't saying why

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Updated 10 machines so far.

You get a few ranting that it didn't work for them whilst the other 99%didn't install it sit back and just shrug.

FTFY

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hplasm
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Big Brother

Bank of America have already announced that they are deploying Windows 10."

That's potentially about 230K spybot hubs.

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Me too

"No Direct-X 12 - or similar option though."

Thank $DEITY for that.

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hplasm
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Meh

Windows 10

Piled higher and deeper.

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Windows 10 growth flattens out to 30 per cent per week

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Only 30% a week?

Just the way the world works, more like. Apple has an unbreakable Reality Distortion Field, and anything MS does, sucks.

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I've seen Kaspersky slap his staff with a walrus penis – and even I doubt the false-positive claims

hplasm
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Coat

Re: ' Walrus Penis'

Oh! The huge manatee!!

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hplasm
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Devil

Re: White hats, Black hats, and Grey hats...

"And yet they can't find any Russian state-sponsored malware."

That;s because the others don't rip your arms off when they lose get detected.

WookiesPutin Some random Russians have been know to do that...

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How many pre-loaded Win 10 PCs did disties have 7 days after release?

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Speculation

That just happened- and so did that!

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EU clears UK to give £50m to SABRE space launcher engine

hplasm
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Mushroom

"... but at least, if Skylon takes off, we can try nuke them from orbit..."

FTFY

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BOFH: Why, I LOVE work courses. Please tell me more, o wise one!

hplasm
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Pirate

Re: IR35

"Careful, you're at risk of being considered an employee under IR35 legislation!"

I think you forget just who you are dealing with here...

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Two weeks of Windows 10: Just how is Microsoft doing?

hplasm
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Windows

"So many Linux fanbois hating on MSFT!"

Is that a tiny tear in your eye?

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Reddit caves to Russian fungus censorship demands

hplasm
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FAIL

"On Protecting Children from Information Harmful to Their Health and Development".

There goes all Russian Government propaganda down the tubes then.

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Cheers, Bill Gates. Who wouldn't want drinking water made from POO?

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Turdwater

How about- "Don't shit in the well!"

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: second verse that no-one remembers

Or- "Drink, piss and live!"

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hplasm
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Pint

Re: Not too long ago

Beer is water made WITH poo - Yeast Poo!

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hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: nice

"...people drinking sludge out of a ditch..."

Since the dawn of time, people have been drinking water from natural sources.

Suddenly they are 'drinking sludge out of a ditch'.

When did Humans become so stupid? It must have been quite recently.

And why?

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Flying Spaghetti Monster spotted off Angolan coast

hplasm
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Unhappy

Monday morning design

Whoever designed Monday mornings wasn't intelligent...

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hplasm
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Happy

"Jones’s colleague Philip Pugh then nailed the creature..."

Blasphemy!

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Have an iPhone? Mac? Just about anything else Apple flogs? Patch now

hplasm
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Pint

Re: I could bash Apple

It's never too early in the morning to be making cider.

Drinking it, perhaps... just.

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