* Posts by hplasm

2780 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Apple is like HITLER says Chinese billionaire

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Hitler is a bit extreme.

How about Mao, then?

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UN inflicts 10,000 flat pack IKEA shelters on Iraq - WITHOUT TOOLS

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Nice one IKEA

SHELTUUR

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Dino-boffins discover ancient, TOOTHY-CLAWED, four-eyed MONSTER LOBSTER

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Weird thought

I was hoping for something about 1 to 20m long...

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Building a better society from the Czechs' version of Meccano

hplasm
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Alert

"I still to this day want to know just what the hell they where medicated for?"

To prevent mould from the damp seats growing in the raw arse-scratches the crinkled shiny loo-paper would inflict...

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Microsoft and Oracle are 'not your trusted friends', public sector bods

hplasm
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Windows

Re: So give them the boot - use open source

"99.9% of trading floors with vast values at risk seem to not have any issues in using Excel...Do tell us more?"

So that's the cause of recessions pinned down then.

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: So, give them the boot - use open source.

Oh, it's you. Again.

"When will you lot realise Linux/OSS/LibreOffice is of very little interest to anyone other than a very special kind of person."

When will you and your whiny cohorts realise that MS 'products' are of no interest to anyone at all; like the shiny toilet paper of old- nobody wanted it, but it was foisted upon all. A few fetishists still buy it for the pain, but to everyone else it is an increasingly unnecessary pain in the arse.

So take your MS crapware and use it in the same way- there are alternatives now, and they are quilted.

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Bye bye, booth babes. IT security catwalk RSA nixes sexy outfits

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Give the feminism a rest

"Check your privilege."

Fuck off.

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hplasm
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Trollface

Re: Christ on a fucking BIKE!

I bet you look great in a thong...

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hplasm
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Meh

"If they judge people for what they wear...?"

Hence the use of the cringeworthy Business or Business Casual Wear.

As seen in used Car Salesrooms and The Dock in courts around the land.

Wheres the tech kudos in looking like that?

Dronewear.

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hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: Not worth going then

"Everything is things."

Except when they are Objects. Where do Containers fit into this?

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Marathon race ace FOUND ON MARS – NASA boffins overjoyed

hplasm
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Happy

Re: JPL Marathon relay??

_The Big Bank Theory_

Isn't that a documentary about the birth of the Monopolyverse?

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Treat us like the utilities we believe ourselves to be, say UK operators

hplasm
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Meh

Re: I don't understand.

I can see more landowners turning them away for 1/10th of the rent they get now for the nasty towers.

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What horrors lurk in the future: Networks without sysadmins

hplasm
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Re: Networks without sysadmins?

Yup.

Networks have Netadmins...

/ducks

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Microsoft gets data centres powered up for big UPS turn-off

hplasm
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Happy

Re: not enough runtime

Simple.

Give all IT staff a free Tesla Roadster and a charging point at work.

UPS and happy staff.

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Millions of voters are missing: It’s another #GovtDigiShambles

hplasm
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Holmes

I predict-

grumbling amongst the disenfranchised...

How convenient. Gerrymandering is such an unpleasant word...

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Web geeks grant immortality to Sir Terry Pratchett – using smuggled web code

hplasm
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Meh

Re: I guess you parents failed your first 7 years

"They're dead. What we do makes no difference to them."

A bit like your servers (if you have any) now that you have effectively cut them off from anyone who isn't you.

Stupid twat.

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hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Join The Rev's RFC campaign.

Brilliant.

Let's make this happen!

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Internet Explorer LIVES ON, cackle sneaky Microsoft engineers

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Windows, your reign is over ....

"Nope - you still can't run Halo or Titan Fall on Linux...."

Because it's an OS not a games platform with a dodgy office suite?

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Flying cars will take to the skies in 2017, if government allows

hplasm
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Don't worry-

In the Uk they will soon be limited to 20MPH (10 in cities) so won't be able to get off of the ground - if the LibDems get in, of course... pfft.

I'll get my cape-

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BBC: We'll give FREE subpar-Raspberry-Pis to a million Brit schoolkids

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Re: Ha

"Why does the brain dead approach have to be trotted out every time. "

I don't know. Why do you do it?

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Google gives spit n' polish to world's most expensive Chromebook

hplasm
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Trollface

Re: built....

Sorry, the Apple page is elsewhere...

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Going on holiday? Mexico wants your personal data

hplasm
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Terminator

Re: PNR Data

Email:casework@ico.org.uk

Phone number :+441625 545 745

They work for us...so why not?

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$17,000 Apple Watch: Pointless bling, right? HA! You're WRONG

hplasm
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Christometer-

Hehhe - First the Jesusphone, now this.

I hope Apple get into kitchen gadgets. I can't wait for the coming of the Holy Toast...

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'Roly poly' soft, wobbly robot BANGS EXPLOSIVELY, leaps 0.5m in air

hplasm
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Happy

Where

Are the Pictures? (oh, in the linky... a bit dry though... /edit)

Video, preferably.

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Nothing says 'Taliban' quite like net neutrality, eh, EU Digi Commish?

hplasm
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Facepalm

Oetti?

Wetty?

Idoitti? What is he on?

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Boffins probe mystery of ANTARCTIC BLOOD GLACIER

hplasm
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Alien

Juices-

of the Elder Things.

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Hated smart meters likely to be 'a costly failure' – MPs

hplasm
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Devil

Re "How can this possibly cost so much?"

The price of Yachts goes ever upwards.

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Boffins find Earth's earliest Homo in Ethiopian hilltop

hplasm
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Re: Cool!

Amen to that!

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Storm in a K-Cup: My SHAME over the eco-monster I created, says coffee pod inventor

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Too good to last

"Is that what we want, a future filled with crappy products, made so for the sake of recycling?"

Better than the present, where we have crappy products that are almost unrecyclable.

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Mummy, what's the point of Evgeny Morozov's tedious columns?

hplasm
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Headmaster

Shurely shome mishtake?

Nobody called it "The Grauniad"...

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Microsoft working on 'Nano' version of Windows Server for web-scale ops

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Wow

" modularising Windows and allowing you to ditch the crap you don't need and don't want."

Or you could just buy a blank disk.

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Elon Musk plans to plonk urban Hyperloop subsonic tube on California

hplasm
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Re: Secure transport system?

This new transport system scares me - IP!

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RIP Leonard Nimoy: He lived long and prospered

hplasm
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Unhappy

Farewell, Spock.

Your star will always be of a greater magnitude than those around them, in their respective local cluster, of course.

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NERDGASM as Apple announces 'special event'

hplasm
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Devil

"...price of gold through the roof..."

Perhaps it will be announcing a new Blue/Black colour scheme to complement the existing Gold/White one.

Appletards will of course, buy both...

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El Reg regains atomic keyring capability

hplasm
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Happy

It's not fishy-

It's ATOMIC POWERED!!

Whizz for Atomms!

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Spotty Ceres baffles boffins with bright patches

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: What they have found is the entrance to it. Go in, and you will see

An enormous geode!

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Britain needs more tech immigrants, quango tells UK.gov

hplasm
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Facepalm

Ever get the feeling-

We are being robbed blind by the blind leading the blind?

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COSMIC FATTY from the DAWN of TIME simply can't exist – astroboffins

hplasm
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Happy

So it's a red hole!

Cosmic enormo-pucker, perhaps.

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'Utterly unusable' MS Word dumped by SciFi author Charles Stross

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Boo effin' hoo

Good for you- how's that writing award shelf coming on?

B00b.

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Confused

"...end customer is using windows 8 and Office that’s what you use."

CS's End Customer is using his eyeballs. It's the bloody middleman that's using Worm.

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HAWKING ALERT: Leave planet Earth, find a new home. Stupid humans

hplasm
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Devil

"Are we including Star Wars in that?"

Ep 1 to 3, yes...

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: So why does he believe....

" "Oh look Planet Y has more fuel / food than us and we want some. Lets take it."

Oh look Planet Y has fuel / food. Lets take it.

TFTFY"

Oh look Planet Y. Lets take it.

T THTHY 2

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hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Yup...

"Says the AC who can't distinguish between AI and I"

A Virtual Haile Selassie...hmmm

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Don't touch me up there! Photoshop creator appeals for 'ethical' use

hplasm
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Re: that's one way of looking at it, here's another

> I wonder how long until they end up like all monopolies, fat and lazy.

I say it happened at least 5 years ago and I believe this is a fair assessment, others will argue for 10 years.

Every time they start to look fat and lazy, they Photoshop themselves...

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Have YOU got Equation NSAware in your drives? Meh, not really our concern, says EU

hplasm
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FAIL

Sometimes the Government

Need to do what they are told.

They work for us.

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Hello Barbie: Hang on, this Wi-Fi doll records your child's voice?

hplasm
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Terminator

Re: But does it support WPA2?

"...and 'is there a God?'"

There is now... bzzzt.

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hplasm
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Terminator

I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world-

Please kill me!

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IT knowledge is as important as Maths, says UK.gov

hplasm
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Stop

Surely-

It is time to drop this 'Digital' bollocks?

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Raspberry Pi, meet face: You're probably NOT Blighty's biggest PC maker!

hplasm
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Happy

Pfft! Looks can be deceptive...

Amstrad != PC

as

Lord Sugar != Sid James

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Torvalds turns to Sir Mix-A-Lot for Linux versioning debate

hplasm
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Flame

As long as v4.0-

Is incompatible with systemd, I'd say go for it.

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