* Posts by hplasm

2753 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Boffins find Earth's earliest Homo in Ethiopian hilltop

hplasm
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Re: Cool!

Amen to that!

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Storm in a K-Cup: My SHAME over the eco-monster I created, says coffee pod inventor

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Too good to last

"Is that what we want, a future filled with crappy products, made so for the sake of recycling?"

Better than the present, where we have crappy products that are almost unrecyclable.

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Mummy, what's the point of Evgeny Morozov's tedious columns?

hplasm
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Headmaster

Shurely shome mishtake?

Nobody called it "The Grauniad"...

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Microsoft working on 'Nano' version of Windows Server for web-scale ops

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Wow

" modularising Windows and allowing you to ditch the crap you don't need and don't want."

Or you could just buy a blank disk.

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Elon Musk plans to plonk urban Hyperloop subsonic tube on California

hplasm
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Re: Secure transport system?

This new transport system scares me - IP!

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RIP Leonard Nimoy: He lived long and prospered

hplasm
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Unhappy

Farewell, Spock.

Your star will always be of a greater magnitude than those around them, in their respective local cluster, of course.

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NERDGASM as Apple announces 'special event'

hplasm
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Devil

"...price of gold through the roof..."

Perhaps it will be announcing a new Blue/Black colour scheme to complement the existing Gold/White one.

Appletards will of course, buy both...

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El Reg regains atomic keyring capability

hplasm
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Happy

It's not fishy-

It's ATOMIC POWERED!!

Whizz for Atomms!

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Spotty Ceres baffles boffins with bright patches

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: What they have found is the entrance to it. Go in, and you will see

An enormous geode!

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Britain needs more tech immigrants, quango tells UK.gov

hplasm
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Facepalm

Ever get the feeling-

We are being robbed blind by the blind leading the blind?

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COSMIC FATTY from the DAWN of TIME simply can't exist – astroboffins

hplasm
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Happy

So it's a red hole!

Cosmic enormo-pucker, perhaps.

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'Utterly unusable' MS Word dumped by SciFi author Charles Stross

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Boo effin' hoo

Good for you- how's that writing award shelf coming on?

B00b.

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Confused

"...end customer is using windows 8 and Office that’s what you use."

CS's End Customer is using his eyeballs. It's the bloody middleman that's using Worm.

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HAWKING ALERT: Leave planet Earth, find a new home. Stupid humans

hplasm
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Devil

"Are we including Star Wars in that?"

Ep 1 to 3, yes...

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: So why does he believe....

" "Oh look Planet Y has more fuel / food than us and we want some. Lets take it."

Oh look Planet Y has fuel / food. Lets take it.

TFTFY"

Oh look Planet Y. Lets take it.

T THTHY 2

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hplasm
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Re: Yup...

"Says the AC who can't distinguish between AI and I"

A Virtual Haile Selassie...hmmm

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Don't touch me up there! Photoshop creator appeals for 'ethical' use

hplasm
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Re: that's one way of looking at it, here's another

> I wonder how long until they end up like all monopolies, fat and lazy.

I say it happened at least 5 years ago and I believe this is a fair assessment, others will argue for 10 years.

Every time they start to look fat and lazy, they Photoshop themselves...

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Have YOU got Equation NSAware in your drives? Meh, not really our concern, says EU

hplasm
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FAIL

Sometimes the Government

Need to do what they are told.

They work for us.

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Hello Barbie: Hang on, this Wi-Fi doll records your child's voice?

hplasm
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Terminator

Re: But does it support WPA2?

"...and 'is there a God?'"

There is now... bzzzt.

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hplasm
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Terminator

I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world-

Please kill me!

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IT knowledge is as important as Maths, says UK.gov

hplasm
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Stop

Surely-

It is time to drop this 'Digital' bollocks?

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Raspberry Pi, meet face: You're probably NOT Blighty's biggest PC maker!

hplasm
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Happy

Pfft! Looks can be deceptive...

Amstrad != PC

as

Lord Sugar != Sid James

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Torvalds turns to Sir Mix-A-Lot for Linux versioning debate

hplasm
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Flame

As long as v4.0-

Is incompatible with systemd, I'd say go for it.

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Virgin Media to splurge BEELLIONS on UK network infrastructure expansion

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Wholesale...

Virgin ADSL runs over BT tails, otherwise it would be VM Cable...

It's called 'offnet' for a reason.

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hplasm
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FAIL

Re: Good news

Well, Virgin never bought any of it, and they don't own it now if they did...

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Microsoft's patchwork falls apart … AGAIN!

hplasm
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Happy

A patch that breaks powerpoint?

What's wrong with that?

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Ex-NASA boffin dreams of PREDATOR-ish tech in humble microwaves

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Modernize the whole damned thing

"Gimbal the emitters... "

And don't forget to reverse the polarity of the tachyon flux.

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Watch: China has made an internet censorship THEME SONG

hplasm
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Meh

Re: China

"Internet power! The web is where glorious dreams are: examined and crushed."

FTFThem

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ATTENTION SETI scientists! It's TOO LATE: ALIENS will ATTACK in 2049

hplasm
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Happy

That's all very well-

But what if they are more Blobominational than Krakenesque?

They could pop up anywhere in the West- they may Already be Wobbling Amongst Us!!

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Gov.UK tells Londoners: You too can cash in on the 'sharing economy'

hplasm
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WTF?

Let the right one in...

It's not burglary, is it, if you invite them in and they nick off with all your stuff?

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Over 50? Out of work? Watch out because IT is about to EAT ITSELF

hplasm
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Headmaster

"Scaffold" is a verb?

Yes, it be.

verb

1.

attach scaffolding to (a building).

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Hear that sound? It's the Windows XP PC bubble popping

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: WHAT!

"...should of done."

Have. tsk tsk...

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Cortana to form CIRCLE OF LIFE in Windows 10

hplasm
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Meh

What is the Swahili for

Steaming pile of spyware?

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Patch now: Design flaw in Windows security allows hackers to own corporate laptops, PCs

hplasm
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Devil

Oooh!

Crapsticks!

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Microsoft: Even cheapo Lumias to get slimmed down Windows 10

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Wait,,,,What?

"Windows Phone 8 - Zero known vulnerabilities. Zero known malware."

Zero known users.

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This optical disc will keep your gumble safe for 2,000 YEARS

hplasm
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Terminator

Finally-

Something for the NSA and chums to store all our (meta)data on for the forseeable future...

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$10,000 Ethernet cable promises BONKERS MP3 audio experience

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Awesome however

It is related to the word 'commode'...

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: One born every minute

The 1s are straighter and more defined, the 0s are rounder and smoother...

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Smartphones don’t dumb you down, they DUMB you UP

hplasm
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Devil

Re: GPS and SatNav

"What is the use case for this bit of tech again?"

Idiot identification.

"...Cortana"

again, idiot ID.

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SWELLING moons of ice dwarf Pluto snapped by NASA spy-probe

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Its a planet.

"Where an arbitrary line is drawn really makes little difference."

Er, the Equator is here- wants a word with you...

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hplasm
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Re: Its a planet.

And anyone who says otherwise is a dwarf-scientist. Nyah!

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Microsoft's Nadella: Congratulations on 12 months of not being Steve Ballmer

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Barrack Obama???

It looks like you were trying to type 'Will' Do you want some help with that?

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'Tech' City hasn't got proper broadband and it's like BT doesn't CARE

hplasm
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Stop

Re: Revenue !=Profit...

Indeed. Should have stopped after "Is it necessary for state aid to subsidise BT?"

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Zoinks! Is that Mystery Machine Apple's SELF-DRIVING FAMILY WAGON? You decide

hplasm
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Happy

Re: An Apple self-drive car?

To the Apple store. And back?

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ALIENS are surely AMONG US: Average star has TWO potentially Earth-like worlds

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Aliens are among us !

Those 'debates' are necessary to ensure that we never get off this rock...

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Breaking news: BBC FINALLY spots millions of mugshots on cop database

hplasm
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Re: What purpose?

Also: Surely the police have just one purpose?

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Spent the weekend watching Game of Thrones? You're a FAT LONELY SADDO

hplasm
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Headmaster

Re: Could you perhaps tone down your laddish editorial? This isn't RALPH

If you 'loose yourselves in books' there's probably a different description of you than saddo...

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Lost SPACECRAFT believed FOUND ON COMET

hplasm
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Re: GIF

Isn't a Jraph a tall horsey?

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Ugly, incomplete, buggy: Windows 10 faces a sprint to the finish

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: I still shudder...

Q: When will Windows be finally ready for the desktop?

A: An unspecified time. It's called the future. Get used to it.

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hplasm
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Happy

Re: Ugly, inconsistent, unfinished, and dangerous

"While we're on the subject of File Explorer... "

It has to be called that to explain the feeling that using Windows is like hacking through a dense, impenetrable jungle...

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