* Posts by Jambo Widetrousers

5 posts • joined 9 Jul 2009

Go festive this year with Christmas carols, baby Jesus and CLITORAL STIMULATORS

Jambo Widetrousers
Pint

NTNOCN FTW...

Spot on Dabbsy, loving the Pamela Stephenson reference:

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Captain Wang and his crew welcome you aboard flight 1203 to Los Angeles.

We hope you’ll have a pleasant flight and that we don’t encounter any turbulence and crash the plane.

For your own safety and convenience please locate the instruction card in the seat pocket in front of you. It is situated between the crumpled magazine with the Robert Morley interviews and the piece of orange peel. We would like to stress that in the unlikely event of anything going wrong, any attempt to escape from the aircraft is futile.

Please fasten your safety belt and extinguish your cigarette, shame though it is to waste your last one. When disaster strikes there may be a slight loss of cabin pressure, and a reduction in the number of wings. In this event, a plastic mask will automatically drop down. Place it over your nose and pull hard to release the oxygen. Then attempt to fit the broken cord back into the hole from which the air is now pouring.

Please note that your lifejacket is under your seat. It is impossible to get it out, particularly with your seatbelt on, so we have one already prepared here. Place it over your head and tie the straps around you. To inflate pull the green tag, press the yellow button, unzip the toggle pocket, unscrew the air valve anticlockwise and yell “inflate you stupid bugger”.

Next, remove from your person any sharp objects, such as fragments of red-hot engine casing, and make your way to the escape routes. These are situated over the wings so you people there, there and there have absolutely no chance and we apologise for having wasted your time.

Well enough of this maudlin talk. This has been your chief stewardess speaking, and demonstrating the regulations was Lola, who’s a right little strumpet and willing to oblige you in any way at all. Captain Wang and his crew wish you a very short and pleasant flight."

Damn, can't find it on YouTube!

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Dell revives WinPho handset brand for Win 8.1 fondleslabs

Jambo Widetrousers

Not surprising

...since Microsoft put up $2bn as a loan to help Michael Dell buy his company back:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silver_Lake_Partners

Back scratching and all that. Mind you, I'm a proud owner of both a Windows Phone (HTC 8X) and Surface Pro, so this is all to the good as far as the platforms are concerned.

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Life-size Portal gun to shoot onto shelves soon

Jambo Widetrousers
Coffee/keyboard

Google Translate FTW

The page translation is fun, but the page title even better:

"Beans torpedo head office: Store Figures - / Neka system portal / portal device Prop Replica (s) and / or game"

;-)

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Google Maps absorbs Earth view

Jambo Widetrousers
Go

Anaglyph mode...

Has anyone else noticed that StreetView now has a '3D mode on' option on its right click menu - which immediately changes the view to an anaglyph 3D simulation?

Now where are my red/green glasses....

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OLED TV sales to soar, says market watcher

Jambo Widetrousers
Boffin

Time will tell...

I've been working in broadcast for ~20 years, and worked with the first ever HD systems from Sony. Nothing I've seen has stood up to those original HD CRT based sets - until I saw the XEL-1. I still won't bother with plasma or LCD (although the new Samsung LED backlit sets are pretty good), and I still have a 22" Ferguson CRT that kicks the crap out of most displays I've seen.

If they can solve the lifespan issues, and get the price right, OLED is the only thing I've seen that I'd want in my front room. Of course, if it's a heavily compressed SD signal being badly upscaled to an HD display then all bets are off anyhow ;-)

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