* Posts by Rich 11

370 posts • joined 8 Jul 2009

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Why is the smart home insecure? Because almost nobody cares

Rich 11
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Re: This!

who probably has his walls lined with tinfoil.

Which might be one way of helping to secure smart home devices...

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Perhaps the AIpocalypse ISN'T imminent – if Google Translate is anything to go by, that is

Rich 11
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Re: Machine translation is always good for a giggle!

In a traditional restaurant in Northern Italy I was given a white cube of something as a starter, with a square of pork fat carefully placed on top of it. Upon politely asking what it was, the waitress answered that it was 'mice'. After a bit of inspired Give Us A Clue, she kindly refined her answer to 'maize'.

In a greasy spoon in Hong Kong where only one person spoke more than a few words of English, I asked if they had an English menu. I was handed a piece of well-worn card upon which were the handwritten translations of the Chinese names for each dish. No.13 was 'Three Flower Delight', No.6 was 'Trophy of Kings', etc.

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Rich 11
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Re: What should have been looked at

if he'd used Google Translate for it he'd have been looking for Des O'Connor not Sarah.

I can only find one Desmond O'Connor in the LA phone book, so that film would have been over a damn sight sooner.

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Rich 11
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Re: Everyone does it

Ah, Florida. The flaccid state.

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Prof Hawking cracks riddle of black holes – which may be portals to other universes

Rich 11
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Re: Yea but

What we want to know is what happens when you poke a black hole with a stick.

Well, for a start, you never get to see the far end of the stick touch the event horizon (as long as you don't fall into it yourself).

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Rich 11
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Re: Two black holes

Shine on, you crazy diamond.

Which, interestingly, is what a star which isn't massive enough to collapse into a neutron star or a black hole becomes: a white dwarf, the solar core of fusion-produced carbon (or possibly carbon-nitrogen-oxygen) radiating at 10 million degrees for tens of billions of years.

Lovely.

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FBI probed SciFi author Ray Bradbury for plot to glum-down America

Rich 11
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Re: FBI sponsored?

landed and deposed the rightful-by-the-rules-of-succession, albeit unpopular, king

So unpopular that hardly anyone was motivated to fight for him, with barely a hundred lives being lost in the process.

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C For Hell: Data centre meltdown for irate customers as C4L GOES TITSUP

Rich 11
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Re: He who laughs last...

But a cloud outage hits hundreds or thousands of companies at a time.

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A magic bracelet that unlocks PCs, dancing robot spiders, and more in Intel's circus

Rich 11
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I, for one,...

...welcome our new dancing spider robot overlords.

Since obviously they'll soon be controlled by a ruthless assassin with a long tongue and a pistol which fires homing rounds.

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Hey, folks. Meet the economics 'genius' behind Jeremy Corbyn

Rich 11
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The economy that has given us the highest standard of living the country has ever seen?

The economy that is giving the wealthiest an ever-increasing proportion of the country's wealth. Yes, you can be poor and have a flat-screen telly giving better picture quality than your grandparents ever dreamed of, but you're still living from hand to mouth and lurching from one zero-hours job to another with barely a pause sufficient to put money in the bank for a really rainy day. For a rainy day like when your landlord puts the rent up, or kicks you out after a year because he's spotted a better opportunity to make money off another poor sod.

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I've seen Kaspersky slap his staff with a walrus penis – and even I doubt the false-positive claims

Rich 11
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Riding bears to the beach? Fucking hell, they're manly in russia.

And that's after beating each other with bundles of birch twigs in the sauna.

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Skills crisis? Not for long: More and more UK kids gain STEM quals

Rich 11
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Not so good

The UK is the sixth biggest digital economy in Europe, but to sustain that position we must have a solid talent pool

The UK is the second largest economy in Europe and the third largest European country by population. We should be doing more than just trying to sustain our current position.

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BLADE-WIELDING BOTS conquer humans in RADIO DEATHMATCH

Rich 11
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Not a carpet

so long as the system does not mount its horizontally-directed beacons higher than 24 inches from the ground

Some lawns are laid on a slope. Some houses are built on hills. Some people live near radio telescopes. If there's an intersection of the three, the cunning robots may yet blind us fleshies to the doubtless mortal threat posed by interstellar masers.

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Stop taking drug advice from Kim Kardashian on Twitter, sighs watchdog

Rich 11
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Re: Start handing out fines

That would put Gwynneth Paltrow out of business.

Good.

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What a shower: METEORS will BLAZE a FIERY TRAIL across our skies

Rich 11
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Re: I have my telescope and camera ready

Cheltenham promises uniformly grey skies, the single distinguishable feature being the vague glimmer of a ball of fusioning hydrogen. I understand that in seven or eight hours time even that will no longer be visible through the murk.

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W is for WTF: Google CEO quits, new biz Alphabet takes over

Rich 11
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Weyland-Yutani?

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Windows 10 climbs to 3.55 per cent market share, Win 8.1 dips

Rich 11
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Re: "where it's free for consumers"

I can't decide between the two. What flavours of Ebola are on offer?

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BOFH: Knitting bobble hats on the steps of the guillotine

Rich 11
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Hah!

scratch magnet

Definitely stealing that one...

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Windows 10 is FORCING ITSELF onto domain happy Windows 7 PCs

Rich 11
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Re: Wonder how many bankruptcies will result

I can imagine there are a few people being shouted at in Redmond today...

It might explain why I've been waiting so long for a support call to be returned (thankfully for a less troublesome problem).

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Moronic Time cover sets back virtual reality another 12 months

Rich 11
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Re: Bracing

That's not Skeg -- there are no chip wrappers or used condoms in sight.

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Copyright troll wants to ban 'copyright troll' from its copyright troll lawsuit

Rich 11
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Re: Never Heard of Them.

Perhaps someone else can advise if they produce any stuff over and above what is generally available elsewhere that is worth having a frig/wank over.

A colleague has advised me that X-Art publishes noticeably higher quality material than the run-of-the-mill filth, with decent production values and content which could legitimately be described as erotic in the normal sense of the word.

You might not want to take his word for it though. He may have shares in the company.

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ROBO-TENTACLE with mind of its own wields deadly electrical power – turns on Tesla car

Rich 11
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Re: There are of course a lot of things to consider before such a charger could be added

And "How likely am I to be throttled in my sleep by this incipient Robosquid of Electric Doom?"

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Blighty a 'smartphone society' amid rise of 4G middle class

Rich 11
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Confirmation

A mysterious four per cent of Blighty's netizen population answered "other".

Ah, so the implants do work. Excellent... *washes hand with invisible soap*

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AIDS? Ebola? Nah – ELECTRO SMOG is our 'biggest problem', says Noel Edmonds

Rich 11
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Even Brian's not that daft. Probably. Anyway, the monarch doesn't appoint secretaries of state.

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Rich 11
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Re: He's possibly right about Ebola

So all the media hype about Ebola causing massive problems due to economic disruption due to people dying was just nonsense.

The economic disruption wasn't caused by people dying, it was caused by people being afraid to go out and carry on with business as usual for fear of getting infected.

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Rich 11
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Re: I'm impressed

There's certainly one thing he's achieved: he makes Gwyneth Paltrow sound sane.

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Obsolescence of food is complete: Soylent now comes in bottles

Rich 11
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Re: It's not that bad...

Fifteen minutes in the morning to prepare lunch? It takes me thirty seconds to prepare mine, probably less time than the gloop-mix preparation you describe, and costs about £1.50. And it has the advantage of having both solid and liquid components, along with a variety of flavours.

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'White hats don't want to work for us' moans understaffed FBI

Rich 11
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Re: Don't they just-

But first they have to catch them!

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Sun? In Blighty? Nah, just build that rooftop data centre, it’ll be fine

Rich 11
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On a visit to Hong Kong to see friends in the mid-90s, I got chatting with a bloke who worked for a Major News Relay Network (which shall otherwise remain nameless). They were so desperate to recruit someone with network knowledge to keep their flaky international connections up that I almost agreed to leave the UK and accept double the wage to live in an expensive but almost tax-free city. What stopped me was the fact that while I knew barely anything about networking I could see that their infrastructure was horribly, horribly wrong -- that and I had a conscience.

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And on that bombshell: Top Gear's Clarkson to reappear on Amazon

Rich 11
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Re: Oh well at least

How long will it be before some wag links the two things in a simple one liner????

I'd guess about three minutes.

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UK.gov wants to stop teenagers looking at tits online. No, really

Rich 11
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Re: Cognitive dissonance

I think his advisers are telling him that his social security cuts are disproportionally affecting women, with a consequent risk of losing yet more of their votes. He asks the advisers what policy he can introduce to regain their support, and the advisers naturally start thinking about children (hopefully not too hard). Obviously doing things like reducing classroom sizes or implementing limits on sugar in processed food are out, so they've given him a policy he can talk about without having to actually do much, because he can always fall back on the availability of ISP nanny settings to claim success.

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Download Fest goers were human guinea pigs in spy tech experiment, admit police

Rich 11
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You'd certainly end up selling newspapers in one sense of the word.

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MORE Windows 10 bugs! Too many Start menu apps BREAK it

Rich 11
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Re: @OliverJ -- 512 apps ought to be enough for anybody...!

'an unquenchable'

You're welcome. ;-)

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This is TRUE science: Harvard boffins fire up sizzling BACON LASER

Rich 11
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A team of Harvard scientists has paved the way for a deadly laser pig weapon

'Generals gathered in their masses...'

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'Fix these Windows 10 Horrors': Readers turn their guns on Redmond

Rich 11
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Not quite

Which is another way of saying: “This work will never be finished.”

And another way of saying: "This work will never be trusted."

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W3C's failed Do Not Track crusade tumbles to ad-blockers' Vietnam

Rich 11
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...and hosts files?

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Rich 11
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Hah!

"When a consumer puts Do Not Track in the header, we don't know what they mean."

s/know what they mean/give a monkeys/gi

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Your poster guide: A fascinating glimpse into North Korea's 'internet'

Rich 11
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Turn up or drop out (of sight)

The nation just held its regional elections at the weekend, and scored a 99.97 per cent turnout. Not surprising given that if you don't vote, you disappear.

So the re-education slave labour camps have just gained something like an extra 57,000 inmates? Charming fellow, that Kim.

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Rich 11
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Re: Freaky picture

There is etiquette to dealing with dictators you know.

I expect it's even more risky dealing with dictators you don't know.

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Microsoft kills TWO Hacking Team vulns: NOT the worst in this Patch Tues either

Rich 11
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They probably know of vulns which they won't let MS patch. Not that I'm trying to make you paranoid or anything.

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Rich 11
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Re: Tell me about it...

2 hours do the patch tuesday's updates? You should probably think about getting a better computer

Those of us looking after a shedload of dev and live servers have to take a slightly more diligent approach...

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Cell division: The engine of life – and of CANCER. Now some of its secrets are revealed

Rich 11
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Re: "We all start out as just one cell"

Is there anything that could be said to be "us" before the zygote is formed?

A set of probabilities describing potentials, perhaps? Though that's still mostly the case in the zygote too.

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My top three IT SNAFUs - and how I fixed them

Rich 11
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Damp cabling

I had a similar problem to deal with about a year or two after Dave's (as best as I can determine). My IT Centre was housed in a Portacabin, and our 4800baud connection to the rest of the campus was a cable strung the 20 feet from one corner of the Portacabin to one corner of the nearest building. We soon noticed that whenever it rained, our connection would drop out. I borrowed a stepladder and checked the cable at each end, then noticed a blob in the middle. The cable (just a simple unshielded pair of wires) had been spliced and wrapped in insulation tape, and with this being the middle where it sagged the most, rainwater would collect on the cable and run down to slowly penetrate the tape. It would usually dry out by the following day, but I still had to unwrap and reseal it several times before I could get the damn bodge job replaced.

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Shapps launches probe into Wikimedia UK over self-pluggery allegs

Rich 11
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Look again

He has yet to receive either the data, or even an acknowledgement of the request.

Has he checked Michael Green's inbox as well as his own?

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Forget lasers: how about sharks with frikkin' VOLCANOES?

Rich 11
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Re: Wow, rare sharks

Tesco's Value Range Fishcakes.

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Security gurus deliver coup de grace to US govt's encryption backdoor demands

Rich 11
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Re: This is the Tommy Gun argument.

And no innocent civilians would ever accidentally get hit by the hail of lead.

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Rich 11
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Re: "I really am not a maniac (or at least my family says so)."

No, they wouldn't lie to him. If he suspected they were lying, he might have them waterboarded for their own protection.

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Smart Meter biz case still there, insists tragically optimistic UK govt

Rich 11
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Re: No mention of the Health risks!

I prefer a Readi-Brek orange.

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Rich 11
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Re: I had a smart meter fitted last week

The reduced consumption is temporary. Soon goes back to the previous consumption when the novelty of the meter wears off.

Absolutely true. I picked up a clip-on display half-price at some closing down sale somewhere, and enjoyed watching the graphics on it change whenever the kettle or the telly was on. When the battery ran dry, I couldn't be arsed to replace it. Since I was never in the habit of leaving any light on unnecessarily, or leaving devices on standby, or not switching everything off when I went to bed, the only saving I made was from turning the fridge setting down a little (and leaving a 3-litre bottle of cider in there to act as a cold sink).

Naturally the cold sink needed replacing every Saturday afternoon, but still.

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ALIEN SLIME SHOCKER: Approaching comet probably NOT inhabited, say boffins

Rich 11
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We need to herd that comet into a giant burger joint and freeze it with a CO2 fire extinguisher, then drop the shrunken blob-slime somewhere in the Arctic (because we know the ice cap will never melt).

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