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* Posts by sandman

405 posts • joined 8 Jul 2009

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Why did it take antivirus giants YEARS to drill into super-scary Regin? Symantec responds...

sandman

Re: "Alternatively they could revamp the malware to the point where it's undetectable."

Splendid - that's what I call proper paranoia :-)

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Sacre vache! Netflix ne parle pas le Frenchy ... zat is against ze LAW

sandman

Seen this before

I've worked in the past for an international (well, sort of) company where the first level of help on the website was in the local languages, then switched to English when they would have required to pay for a technical translator ;-)

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Download alert: Nearly ALL top 100 Android, iOS paid apps hacked

sandman
Joke

Winphone

Nobody's hacked our App yet ;-)

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Our system handles £130bn and it's BUST. Want the job of fixing it? Apply to UK.gov

sandman

Cheapskates

£500-600 a day for the contract from hell?

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GIANT sunspot returns, bigger and belchier than ever before

sandman

We're all doomed!

It's the end of the world as we know it, but I feel fine ;-)

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The last PC replacement cycle is about to start turning

sandman

Re: Businesses don't work like that

When you get to the stage of adding a keyboard and mouse to a tablet you might as well call it a laptop. I've also had the dubious pleasure of working in server/terminal environments and it wasn't a happy one. They do have their uses but there are times when you want your processing power - particularly graphics processing power to be local.

The primary advantage of a laptop is that you can carry a machine that you can use to both create and consume content.

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Poll: Yes, yes, texting while driving is bad but *ping* OH! Hey, GRAB THE WHEEL, will ya?

sandman

Personal Observation - non-statistical

I had the interesting experience of watching a non-accident happen, although was very surprised about the "non" bit. The scene is a busy junction and a driver is approaching the main road while happily talking on and looking at their phone. Coming along the main road is another driver on the phone. About to cross the junction is a pedestrian texting while listening to music on their phone. Cue blaring horns, screeches of brakes, one pedestrian paralysed with fear in the middle of the road and much swearing.

I'd like to say this was a one-off, but it's more a daily occurrence around where I live...

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Call of Duty, GTA V DO NOT make YOUTH more VIOLENT

sandman

Individual slaughter

I did find that fragging a bunch of Nazis, aliens, etc did wonders for my temper after a bad day at t'office. Sadly, as I rose higher in the food chain, individual slaughter lost its calming effect and I had to resort to strategy games. Genocide is very soothing ;-)

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Russians hear Tim Cook is gay, pull dead Steve Jobs' enormous erection

sandman

Great title!

I'd like to accuse the Russians of a knee-jerk reaction, but I'm loath to use the word "jerk" in this context ;-)

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Watersports-friendly e-reader: Kobo's Aura H2O is literary when wet

sandman

Endangered Species

Bloody hell, I hope not. At present, tablets simply aren't as good for reading on. The combination of long battery life, ruggedness, ease of use and lack of glare makes e-readers fit for purpose.

I'm still using my original Kindle, sadly the damn thing simply won't die, so I've got no excuse to upgrade. It's survived tropical and mountain trekking, various beaches, getting a little damp and general packing abuse without turning a metaphorical hair.

As for ease of use, my 94 year-old mother-in-law will only have hers prised out of her cold, dead hands. She doesn't want anything more complex, just something she can read. Everyone in our family owns Kindles of various models, we are serious readers :-)

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Same old iPad? NO. The new 'soft SIMs' are BIG NEWS

sandman

Re: With the AppleSIM I have more choice!

Look, don't be silly, once you've drunk the Kool-Aid you won't want (well, or be able) to walk away.

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Ada Lovelace Day: Meet the 6 women who gave you the 'computer'

sandman

NO!

…and NO again.

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Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors

sandman

Tasty

Ah - here we have a difference between wildlife experts and animal lovers. Actually you can give some animals long term contraceptives, but then you have to catch them first, which doesn't do much for their stress levels. If you leave them you'll get all the problems associated with habitat loss and overcrowding.

Culling is a good solution - as long as it's done humanely and let's face it, venison and wild boar are very tasty. Saying which, it's Woodpigeon breasts for dinner tonight :-)

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'Utter killjoy Reg hacks have NEVER BEEN LAID', writes a fan

sandman

Eugh!

I really don't wan't to even think about thinking about the sexual habits of Reg correspondents - the potential mental picture has hints of Vogon about it.

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Windows 10 feedback: 'Microsoft, please do a deal with Google to use its browser'

sandman
Joke

Keep Scandinavian

Surely after buying Nokia, the obvious thing to do would be to buy Opera?

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Windows 10: One for the suits, right Microsoft? Or so one THOUGHT

sandman

Peak operating system?

Allow me to introduce the ridiculously overused concept of "peak" to operating systems. If this one's any good we'll have a glut of pretty good operating systems. We can all think of improvements to our favourites, but most of them do more or less what you want most of the time. It's getting harder and harder to get excited about new releases and in a lot of cases many of us don't bother for a year or three. Unless some startling new tech or vital security fix comes along, why should we? Operating Systems are just there to let you do other stuff, their intrinsic value is limited.

I can see a time when the only time you pay for an OS is when you eventually buy a new computer. (Linux users - possibly not even then).

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Apple 'Genius': iPhone 6? We've had NO COMPLAINTS about our BENDY iThing

sandman

US v UK complaints

Now, I'm NOT saying that this is a factor when sitting on your phone but…

Av Weight:

UK Male c84kg

US Male c88kg

UK Female c69kg

US Female c77kg

Sourced from Wikipedia, but references look OK.

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Indian MOM just LOVES it on Mars, tweets fave holiday snap

sandman

Re: If I were to congratulate India for their technical achievement

If you want to meet some real bigoted morons you should try the BBC comments section on the mission. I've never seen the moderators so busy and given what they let through would make Nigel Farage blush (OK, that's a bit improbable, he doesn't look like he embarrasses easily) I hate to think what they blocked.

Oh, and congratulations India, not a bad result for a first shot at Mars (actually, hitting it is quite easy, it's just missing it that's difficult ;-)

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My TIGHT PANTS made my HUGE iPHONE go all BENDY!

sandman

Back Pockets

Why the hell would anyone put anything valuable in a back pocket? Talk about a pickpockets dream.When I was much younger I used to irritate my friends and amuse myself by demonstrating how easy it was to nick their wallets (pre-mobile days y'know) and I'm about as light-fingered as a JCB. The bendy thing - well, meh, other phones are available if you want to stuff them in your back pocket, although I'd recommend a really cheap one so the pickpocket would just drop it in disgust (making sure it's in a case so it doesn't break when he/she does so ;-)

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MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS

sandman

Re: cannibalism

Plus 10 internet points for a truly obscure musical reference ;-)

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Gigantic toothless 'DRAGONS' dominated Earth's early skies

sandman

Re: I still dont get the asteroid thingy and why its got so much traction

Um, there's no evidence for any dinosaur/pterosaur survival after the KT Boundary (handily marked by a globally distributed layer if Iridium from the meteorite). The reference in the piece to extinctions is confusing two different ones.Read the actual paper and you'll see that there are no toothless pterosaur fossils found after the late Maastrichtian (terminated by the above mentioned impact). The toothed Pterosaurs disappeared rather earlier (Turonian) in a completely different extinction that seems to have nothing to do with meteorites.

Either the planet or the rest of the universe will get us one way or another, sooner or later ;-)

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Assange™: Hey world, I'M STILL HERE, ignore that Snowden guy

sandman

Re: Logic fail

You do wonder if he wouldn't be more comfortable in a Swedish prison. That is assuming that he's guilty of the crimes he's accused of and is actually given a custodial sentence. Even if the Swedes decide to deport him to the States and he ends up Gitmo, at least it's sunny ;-)

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Govt control? Hah! It's IMPOSSIBLE to have a successful command economy

sandman

Re: Challenge the basic premise...

That viewpoint doesn't just apply to Socialism. I'd suggest it doesn't even apply just to politicians, there are plenty of corporate entities that try to do the same. Mandatory drug tests would be one example. I couldn't do some work for one of our US clients because they insisted on anyone who worked for them having one - even though we did try and explain that we don't do that in the UK. Or try asking a Japanese salaryman if the company dictates his entire life.

Basically anyone who aspires to a position of power has some belief that their way is the right way and should be followed - for the good of the followers, naturally.

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sandman

Re: yeah but what about the jobs...?

Another robotic task?

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Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE

sandman

Re: Black coffee

Mmmm - way to go. Filter jug + four heaped scoops of finest Costa Rican and drink throughout the day (although two mugs before 10am helps with work rate).

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Brit kids match 45-year-old fogies' tech skill level by the age of 6

sandman

Odd viewpoint

Many years ago I wrote, designed and built one of the earliest museum websites in the UK. It was designed for potential visors to the museum, Key Stage 2 kids and anyone interested in the history of the period.

Running user surveys (a bit painful in those days) produced a rather unexpected result. Something like 30% of the respondents put down their occupation as "retired". This was in the late 90's.

Now, there is always the self-selection problem with this sort of survey, but I suspect they went onto the site because there was something they were actually interested in reading there. Perhaps many older people aren't that interested in "technology" because they don't find much of what's on offer worth the effort.

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END your Macbook SHAME: Convert it into a Microsoft SURFACE

sandman

Tempting

Oh, I'm very tempted to send my Macbook for modding. Better still, it isn't mine, so I'd love to see the look on the faces of our IT Support team when I take it into the office. Sadly, while our head of technology would think it funny, I'm not entirely sure the support guys would, for obvious reasons :-)

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The Therapod diet: From HUMUNGO DINO to TINY BIRD in 50m years

sandman

Re: Next Step

Background music is now compulsory for all scientific, cultural and sporting presentations and programs. Preferably in the form of awful cover versions that will ruin your favourite songs for you. If that doesn't work, advertisers will utilise the same tactic (yes John Lewis, I'm thinking of you) and background their ads with lavishly produced, yet strangely appalling, cover versions of songs you once liked. Having said that, watching a Commonwealth Games montage to a background of Motorhead's Ace of Spades was quite surreal :-)

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Party like it's not 1999: Cry FREEDOM for a better web

sandman

Re: Yes, welcome ...

'Twas ever thus ;-) Bring back text-only browsers and force the bastards to read is what I say.

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MYSTERIOUS Siberia CRATER: ALIENS or METEOR not involved, officials insist

sandman

I've read about these...

Siberian Death Worm

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Writing about an Australian Snowden would land Vulture South in the clink

sandman

Democracy RIP

I really wish people would stop pretending that there is any real form of democracy in the UK and US (I can't speak for any other countries - insufficient knowledge). Both states are run by a political class - even to the extent that there are political dynasties - think Kennedy, Bush and Clinton for starters. I was under the impression that Americans once fought to be free from dynastic rule, but obviously times change.

The political class is supported and financed by a business class and semi-controlled by a media with its own selfish agenda.

If you look at the policy choices us proles are offered, the different parties give us pretty much the same choices, ranging from slightly selfish individualist capitalism to outright barkingly selfish individualist capitalism. All our problems are blamed on the poorest and most vulnerable members of society and we accept all this is the new normal (you can now make sheep noises).

What we are governed by are self-perpetuating oligarchies, intent on keeping power and enriching themselves at the expense of the rest of the population. Their greatest achievement is convincing us that there is no alternative - something enforced by all arms of the state (to return to the original article).

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Barclays Bank counter staff to become iPad-toting 'community bankers'

sandman

Super queues

Try going into a robotised branch with your 95 year old in a wheelchair. They're perfectly compos mentis but need to deal with one of the few staff. See the 20 minute lunchtime queue for services the machines don't provide. Enjoy the sight of nurses, builders and other people you actually want on the job getting agitated. Note that there are no signs telling you what the machines can do, so the poor sod with the pad keeps a job.

When you finally get to the ONE window, the staff are on high stools so can't even see someone below them in a wheelchair and have to heave their bulk off it and stand at the end of the counter to deal with them. Then get told they've made allowances for old/disabled customers because one of the machines is lower, just like a kiddy's urinal. I'm thinking about contacting one of the disability pressure groups to have a look at this.

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Google Glass HOLED: Techno-specs' inventor jets off to Amazon

sandman

Re: One wink shopping

Let's hope that they don't invent a watch where you shop by moving your wrist then ;-)

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German government orders local CIA station chief to pack his bags

sandman

Normal service

Most governments spy on their friends and allies - for several reasons. Firstly, you know where your enemies stand, that's why their called enemies. Allies are a different matter, you need to know if they're going to change their policies in a manner inimical to your interests.

Secondly, information on what your allies are up to (including details of their personal lives) are very useful when it comes to negotiations with them.

Thirdly, it's easier and the consequences of discovery are generally far milder for your controllers (although their agents, if locals, may not be so lucky). It wouldn't surprise me if the vast majority of "spies" are based in "friendly" countries. As an agency chief you can then justify the numbers employed and your budget - hey, they're all busy, right?

Then of course there is all the usual spying to do, digging out commercial secrets, military technology, etc. The French and Israelis have form here - both have been caught spying in the US.

Basically, everybody does it and always have (see Venetian history, they've been credited with starting the ball rolling). The dumb thing is getting caught.

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Google went behind our backs and really HURT US, squeal upset porn kingpins

sandman

Re: anti-sex morality groups

Ah they're not anti-sex as such, just anti any sort that's done outside the married, heterosexual, missionary position (no funny stuff) only bed. There have been total anti-sex religious movements in the past such as the Shakers, but these tend to be a little self-limiting and have a noticeably short shelf-life.

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Islamic terror peril hits US giants' phone wallets

sandman

Re: Surprised

If ISIS was formed in 2004 and the joint venture not until 2010, then our terrorists should be the ones suing - now that would be an interesting case. I'm sure they could find a Texan lawyer who'd take the case on ;-) Alternatively, I believe they have a reputation for direct action...

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Is there too much sex and violence on TV?

sandman

Re: Disproportionate response

Too true, but you see it in many walks of life. It's a management panic reaction. I once built and ran a website that had 250,000 users a year visiting it. In ten years, ONE person complained (as opposed to pointing out mistakes, broken bits, etc) and that complaint went straight to the CEO, who immediately suggested we change the whole thing to meet that complaint (we didn't).

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UK Xmas 2014: Go to shops a normal human, walk out a glasshole

sandman

Many years ago I went to a major conference and exhibition on this new-fangled internet thingy. Naturally, the venue didn't have a connection. Cue total Dilbert demonstrations. "Well, here you would see xxxxx".

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China blocks Flickr and OneDrive

sandman

Re: Let them eat cake

One cake to rule them all?

Anyway, choice of cake is a nasty capitalist, hegemonist idea, dreamed up by the imperialist paper-tigers and their cadres of running-dogs.

Why yes, I have read the thoughts of Chairman Mao, how could you guess? ;-)

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You want a medal for writing a script? Sure: here it is!

sandman

Unsung

There are a lot of people out there like him and it's nice to see someone appreciated. I worked with the IT training team in one company. These people were flying all over the world running intensive courses on the company's software for clients and partners. None of it would have worked well without Sue, a superb administrator, who could book the best flights, hotels, deal with any problem from 8000 miles away, sooth the worries (or egos) of some of the more "sensitive" trainers and techies and ignore the stupider corporate diktats.

A good admin or a problem solver like Vivin should be valued :-)

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Freeze, Glasshole! Stop spying on me at the ATM

sandman

Card cloning

I haven't used my card in a garage or convenience store ever since herself had her card cloned almost certainly after using it at the local garage (try proving that one though). Fortunately the card was then used at an Argos in Essex, so it was very easy to prove that it wasn't her using it - I mean, Argos! says he snobbishly.

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Dutch firm passes the world's first e-spliff to the left hand side

sandman

Fat Freddy says

Absolutely freakin cosmic :-)

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Han Solo headed for lengthy stay in bacta tank after Bay Door Control cockup

sandman

Apologies - pure speculation to be found here...

He's been repaired in an NHS hospital - perhaps privately by a consultant who works both sides of the fence. Recuperation could be in a private room in the hospital or he could transfer to a private hospital. The boundaries between NHS and private are quite blurred.

If you have medical insurance in the UK, look carefully at what's not covered, a lot of the difficult stuff is done on the NHS...

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French Hacker Legion is West's foremost snoop squad says Robert Gates

sandman

Dereliction of Duty

If as Gates says, the US are the only country NOT passing on commercial information gleaned by their spies, then surely that is a shocking dereliction of duty by the government.

However, I need to run inside to shelter from the fallout of the squadrons of flying pigs passing overhead.

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Google's driverless car: It'll just block our roads. It's the WORST

sandman

Unbiased Opinion

For a totally fair and unbiased opinion may I recommend - http://sniffpetrol.com/2014/05/28/google-announces-shitty-car-for-idiots/

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It's Google's NO-WHEEL car. OMG... there aren't any BRAKES

sandman

Re: Fixed it...

Surely you mean "nearby stores that advertise on Google".

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Police at the door? Hit the PANIC button to erase your RAM

sandman

Argh!

"Daddy, I was playing on your computer and then it all went away…"

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Expulsion from Garden of Steven: Apple staffers tossed out of Fruit Loop

sandman

Re: Progress

Evolution in action...

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Why are Fujitsu and Toshiba growing lettuce in semiconductor plants?

sandman

Re: Not Enough Money

Oddly, it does make a sort of sense, particularly to the Japanese. If you have a small, relatively infertile land area with bugger all in the way of natural resources and a large population you have to import nearly everything. I'd suggest that the Japanese remember that one of the reasons for Pearl Harbor was the potential effectiveness of US sanctions. They'd also remember the utterly crippling effect of the US submarine and air blockade. By 1945 their entire economy was toast and people were getting very, very hungry.

From a strategic point of view it would make sense to have a secure food supply, or even the option of quickly developing one. Secure energy would also be possible, raw materials not so much.

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You know all those resources we're about to run out of? No, we aren't

sandman

One resource that's limitless

Stupidity.

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