* Posts by Def

611 posts • joined 8 Jul 2009

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You can't put a price on LOVE, says Apple after court's Samsung payout slash

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Joke

Putting a price on love...

A nice dinner out and a couple of bottles of wine usually does the job.

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Swedish Supreme Court keeps AssangeTM in Little Ecuador

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No, because he hasn't actually been charged with anything yet.

He's merely "wanted for questioning".

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NSA spying is illegal? Then let's make it law, say Republicans

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Black Helicopters

Re: My grocer can't put me in prison.

Shhhhh. Don't give the Republicans ideas.

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New Windows 10 will STAGGER to its feet, says Microsoft OS veep

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Re: Bit rot

Actually, that's not entirely true. Computers can slow down over time entirely on their own. As their fans become more and more clogged with dust, the OS will continually throttle the processor speed to prevent them from over heating. I've seen it happen more than once in the past. Apply a swift blast of air to the nether regions of a PC and you might be pleasantly surprised.

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Fed-up Colorado man takes 9mm PISTOL to vexing Dell PC

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Re: Err...

I was going to ask the exact same question. Seems a bit retarded if you ask me. :)

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Japan showcases really, really fast … whoa, WTF was that?!

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Go

Re: There was at least one shinkansen accidental fatality

...he stepped off the train to use his mobile phone at a station...

THIS should be a legal requirement everywhere on the planet.

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Google guru: Android doesn't have malware, it has Potentially Harmful Applications™ instead

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Re: So what does Google call their activities?

Google calls their spyware Search, Chrome, Android, GMail, etc.

Joke icon, but it's really no laughing matter. :(

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Microsoft points at Skype, Lync: You two, in my office – right now

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We on the other hand just ditched Office Communicator (the precursor to Lync) in favour of Jabber - presumably because Skype was on the horizon.

For some reason our IT department have a pathological fear of peer to peer software, and so instead of just using Skype for all video conferencing we, instead, spend millions on purchasing custom video conferencing systems that barely work half the time anyway. (Which also has the consequence of making it infinitely harder for employees to work from home and still attend stand ups - basically anyone spending the day at home just skips the stand up.)

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Android gets biometric voice unlocking

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Re: FFS When will people learn?

Google have access to everything on most people's androids without any biometric or password so most people are ignorant or don't care.

Shit stored on a phone, most people don't care about. But when your phone can be used to access your bank account, or tax information, or anything else which isn't usually stored on a phone, or when banks themselves start accepting that Apple, Google, or Microsoft can be trusted authenticators of a client, then you have a problem.

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Re: FFS When will people learn? @Harry Kiri

No, the problem here is that you need to be able to distinguish not only one fingerprint from any other, but also one fingerprint from an exact copy of that fingerprint, or a fingerprint from a finger that isn't attached to a hand.

But even then you're just reinforcing my point. Now that you're 100% certain that that is my fingerprint, how can you be certain that it is me who is holding it? Basically by asking me to prove it by providing additional data that only you and I know.

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FFS When will people learn?

Google warns as much. "Trusted voice is less secure than a pattern, PIN, or password. Someone with a similar voice or a recording of your voice could unlock your device".

All biometric information is inherently insecure as a "password". It should never be used to unlock or otherwise access anything. Ever.

If you want to use it, use it as your user name, to which you then enter a password to confirm your identity.

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Russian censor warns against meme 'misuse'

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Devil

Re: Strike a blow to the bitch's face if she shows aggression

Smack My Bitch Up?

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Streak life: Oz woman flashes boobs at Google Street View car

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Joke

I think you'll find that while being topless (and bottomless for that matter) is fine, unfortunately being human is still illegal on Splong.

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Comcast: Google, we'll see your 1Gbps fiber and DOUBLE IT

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Re: sarcastic comment...

Am I doing the math wrong or is there a lot less throughput for traffic than we think?

The math is right. How many people do you know who are downloading at maximum speed 24/7? I have a 75Mb fibre connection at home. 99.9% of the time it's close to idle. My mail is checked once every few minutes. Running software will check for updates, what, once a day. When I'm at work, I have Remote Desktop open, which still doesn't stress the line.

In fact, the most traffic my line sees is probably from when some remote web server is slow and I pop on to speedtest.net to check whether the problem is at my end.

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UN inflicts 10,000 flat pack IKEA shelters on Iraq - WITHOUT TOOLS

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FAIL

Re: Not quite what I thought it meant.

...this site is the buzzfeed of IT journalism.

It certainly seems to be heading that way these days. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before TheRegister stories start popping up in Taboola frames.

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Ford: Our latest car gizmo will CHOKE OFF your FUEL if you're speeding

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Re: France Rain Speed Limit

Can't legislate for twatability.

Well, you can. You'll just never get a chance though, because first you'd have to get all the twats to vote you in in the first place. (Obviously when I say 'twat', I mean everyone who isn't me or you, the reader. ;)

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AUTOPILOT: Musk promises Tesla owners a HANDS-OFF hands-on

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Re: Navigation Needs Update

The nearest Supercharger is 130 miles away. Routing advice as to whether I need to "pop in for a charge" isn't going to be very useful.

You should have said. Just think how much money Tesla could have saved if they'd just asked you first.

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Banks defend integrity of passcode-less TouchID login

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Facepalm

Re: Wunch (you know the rest)

I think the only person who could legitimately ask this question was Bell, but he'd never have to because banks didn't have phones in those days.

Fortunately these days, other phones exist and can be used for the purpose.

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Honey, I shrunk the Windows footprint

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Like XP then? Where you had the option on initial install of the OS, of selecting or un-selecting various things like Games, Messenger, Outlook Express etc.

You could then launch the same section again after install, to add or remove components as you wished.

You do realise that functionality still exists in newer versions of Windows, right? It's in Programs and Features in the control panel.

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Thanks a lot, Google, for snatching .dev for yourself. It's not like the rest of us wanted it

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Knowing Google...

...I wouldn't be surprised if they just use <product>.dev to redirect to <product>.google.com anyway.

.arseholes.

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Telly chef Jamie Oliver in embarrassing infection double shocker

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Paris Hilton

Re: Oh dear... wordpress self-hosted

Word Press is becoming synonymous with AOL

Becoming?

Paris, because she'll becoming later. Probably. I'll get my coat. Two icons, please!

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One does not simply ask the inventor of the WWW what he thinks about memes

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Actually I think it works better as it is. If I start typing theregister.co.uk into my browser it immediately presents a drop-down box with the likeliest matches based on previous usage. In fact just the t is sufficient to bring up elReg as the top entry. That wouldn't work if one had to enter uk.co. etc.

Presumably though you would still be able to type "thereg" and the auto-suggest would insert the "uk.co."

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Facebook-owned, Billy-no-mates FriendFeed starves to death

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Hmm, looks like Google Wave couldn't even make friends with other social networking sites.

Is there *anyone* outside of Google and Facebook who has ever heard of FriendFeed?

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Bad news: Robo-cars will make you work BILLIONS more hours. Good news: In 2040

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If the vehicle is self-driving then will there still be a need for the human to take lessons and pass a driving test?

Of course not. You don't need to take a test to sit on a bus, or in a plane do you? (Although I wish you did at times.)

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Bigfoot now visible in commercial satellite images

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Re: 30 cm?

You married a midget?

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The BBC wants to slap a TAX on EVERYONE in BLIGHTY

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Re: Left-wing and biased?

I'm happy to pay my license fee just so I don't have to pay to watch 5 minutes of advertisements every 10 minutes, like you have to on subscription channels.

So maybe the way forward is to ban charging subscribers if you show adverts.

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Money from apps? It's all about Apple iOS, says survey

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C#

Don't know how popular Xamarin is, but Unity is built on top of Mono and supports C# on just about every platform out there.

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Snapchat wants $19 BEEELLION for your selfies

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So...

They raised $60m in 2013, a further $500m last year, and are now looking for yet another $500m.

Maybe it's time to consider a business plan that makes money from people other than investors, guys....

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Hackers break the bank to the tune of $300 MEEELLION

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Re: Sudden wealth

How does one go about hiding the fact that one is now very very rich...

That's actually the easy part. Register a company somewhere, and quietly buy property all over the world. Wait a year or so and then take a little vacation somewhere with a nice climate. It's pretty easy to buy a residency permit more or less anywhere in the world after you arrive (in most cases you just need to invest a certain amount in the local economy) and then you're an "international property investor".

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Lightbulb moment for visible light networking: 200 Gbps without a fibre

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I can see it now...

Li-Fi hackers are now targeting your area! Protect yourself before it's too late. Our patented curtain rail system with multi-dimensional curved corners ensures no Li-Fi signals can be read by hackers from outside your home.

By connecting these rails with our specially woven curtains that incorporate the latest reflective technologies, not only can you rest easy knowing that your data can not be read but you'll also benefit from faster connection speeds and better network coverage within your home.

Order now, and receive a free Li-Fi wall protector panel. Research sponsored by the tin foil association of America has shown that up to 20% of Li-Fi signals are absorbed by the walls of your home. Our unique, specially designed wall panels can reduce this loss down to a staggeringly low 1%.

Don't be a victim. Call our sales team today!

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FOCUS! 7680 x 4320 notebook and fondleslab screens are coming

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Re: I'm going against the grain here but -

Yes, it's a great thing. No more shitty anti-aliased text. No more clear type bullshit that gives your text a red/blue ghost like the 1970's 3D, George Lucas bastard love child that it is, and looks shit on almost horizontal lines.

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Windows 8 scales just fine. It even scales legacy applications that are not high-DPI aware. (Admittedly that could be done in a nicer way, but at least it does something - which is more than can be said for Windows 7.)

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Patch now: Design flaw in Windows security allows hackers to own corporate laptops, PCs

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Coat

Re: Thanks to heaven it was not found by Google...

Design flaws in Linux? ...because it uses industry standard methodologies that have been tried and tested for the past 40 years...

fopen, strcpy, memcpy, et al. You mean those kinds of "industry standard" methodologies?

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Jupiter Ascending – a literally laughable train wreck of a film

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Re: Sceptical Mila is sceptical

I haven't lived in an English speaking country for almost 15 years. I am used to watching movies that have been either dubbed or subtitled - or are in a foreign language without subtitles or dubbing.

About an hour into Cloud Atlas, I found myself thinking that I will have to watch it again in English so that I can understand what the fuck is going on.

About an hour after that, I realised that I *was* watching it in English, and that no number of subsequent viewings were going to make the plot any clearer.

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Valve set for OpenGL BIG REVEAL at upcoming conference

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Re: Are AMD and nVidia on board?

Microsoft started dictating what level of functionality had to be supported for a video card to claim to be DirectX version X compliant a long time ago. I think it began around the launch of Windows Vista. That was the point at which GPU manufacturers stopped putting in what they wanted to put in, and started putting in the functionality required to be compliant with DirectX feature levels.

And yes, I'm deadly serious about the DirectX API being an open standard. Lots of Microsoft technologies are open standards. Why not this API?

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Re: Are AMD and nVidia on board?

I have always wondered why Microsoft never created an open standard from DirectX, to be honest. It's had its problems in the past, for sure, but these days it is a surprisingly nice, well designed API.

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Twin Adam Sandlers shake El Reg's movie unwatchablathon team

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...we refer you to its clean sweep of the 32nd Razzies, where Sandler deservedly picked up both Worst Actor and Worst Actress awards, and the "twaddle-fest" was furthered honoured with Worst Picture, Worst Supporting Actor (Al Pacino), Worst Supporting Actress (David Spade as "Monica"), Worst Screen Ensemble (The Entire Cast of Jack and Jill), Worst Director (Dennis Dugan), Worst Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel (for its debt to Glen or Glenda), Worst Screen Couple (Adam Sandler and EITHER Katie Holmes, Al Pacino OR Adam Sandler) and Worst Screenplay (Steve Koren and Adam Sandler)

I have to say, I'm kinda intrigued. It's a bit like looking a bit too hard at a road accident - you know you shouldn't, but you just can't help yourself.

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Google boffins PROVE security warnings don't ... LOOK! A funny cat!

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Re: Attackers...

As opposed to Google who are openly slurping as much information about you as possible to sell on to advertisers.

I suggest Microsoft add similar warnings to Windows for when Chrome starts

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BOO! Grave remote-code exec flaw in GNU C Library TERRIFIES Linux

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Re: re Using zero terminated strings in C didn't turn out to be the best design decision ever

I agree that the design goals of C didn't include security. Back then I'm sure people were too busy being excited about every little thing they invented. I totally get that.

But that brings me back to my original comment. Technology has moved on. Times have changed. We've grown up and matured as an industry and as individuals - well most of us have. Anyone can write software today, not just people who spend their days in labs wearing white coats and smoking pipes. And because of this, our tools and technologies need to mature as well. No longer should we be making it so easy for programmers to make what are, essentially, simple mistakes. Sure, the languages of today can allow access to hardware and allow programmers to overrun buffers, but these things should not be considered the norm. There should be better alternatives in place for 99.99% of the tasks developers need to perform.

A lot of C/C++ compilers these days can issue warnings if you use unsafe/legacy functions. Turn those warnings into errors and let's move forward together as an industry.

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FAIL

Re: re Using zero terminated strings in C didn't turn out to be the best design decision ever

Shoddy programmers who don't check length parameters are the fault here.

You can blame the programmers all you want, but at the end of the day, your language/library of choice either allows programmers to make such mistakes, or it doesn't.

The design goals of any language (or coding standard for that matter) should include "make it as hard as possible for people to fuck up", because at some point in time if someone can fuck up they will, and the easier it is for someone to fuck up, the more often it will happen.

You could be the best programmer on the planet, and you'll still make mistakes - probably on a regular basis. The more mistakes that can be caught before you even attempt to run your code the better.

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Still using C today (or the C-Runtime Library in C++) has always baffled me to be honest. It's obviously not designed to be secure (yes, there are more secure variants of most functions these days) so I don't understand why people act so surprised when exploits like this are discovered.

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Opera Jon weaves a brand new browser

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I finally got fed up with Opera 12. It's falling apart these days as the web moves forward.

I plumped for Firefox with the "Tree Style Tab" (which is far superior to Opera's tab grouping IMO) for tabs down the left side of the screen.

I customised the address bar a bit too, so I can 'g...', 'w...' for Google and Wikipedia respectfully. I'm just missing Paste & Go on a single keyboard shortcut.

I'd like to find an extension which lets me block content selectively (and show me the URLs so I can add them to the filter on my router), but that's all I'm missing at the moment, I think.

Other than that, I have to admit I'm reasonably happy. Which is definitely different to when I tried Firefox many years ago.

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'Linus Torvalds is UNFIT for the WORKPLACE!' And you've given the world what, exactly?

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Coat

Re: How bad is Torvalds?

Actually, he's given us a kernel that is running on an immeasurable number of devices from embedded devices and phones right up to the majority of super computers. There are very likely far more running instances of Linux in total today than there are Windows PCs (and certainly phones).

Popularity is a terrible measure of quality.

Quite.

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Seagate's spinning rust most likely to crash, claims backup biz

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Joke

Seagate sounds more like a political scandal involving half a kilo of Colombian nose dust, a few scantily clad women of negotiable affection, three overweight Gibbons, and a couple of Panamanian registered boats.

I'd certainly prefer that over having to use one of their hard drives any day. Except maybe for the bit involving Gibbons.

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Video nasty: Two big bugs in VLC media player's core library

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I don't know how much effort is required to build Win7 / 8 / 10 compatible apps out of an older XP codebase...

Building can be a hassle, but more from using an updated compiler than an updated OS. The STL that shipped with Visual C++ 6 and earlier was vastly inferior when it came to obeying the C++ standard. If you use anything from there, expect to have to change a lot. There have also been major changes and conformance clean-ups in the C-Runtimes too.

You generally have to add a manifest file to your project, and link that in too, but that's not more than a few hours work to look up how to do it online and add the bits you need (they're just XML files).

If you use third party libraries, you'll obviously have to find or build conformant versions of those too, which can be the biggest problem if you're tied to particularly obscure ones.

Once you've managed to get things building, the main issues are when the application "assumes" things about the system. Like where it can save configuration/temporary files to, where the Program Files folder is, trying to do things only an administrator can do, etc. I don't think there are many kernel functions that have been removed since XP (that said, if you use an old version of DirectX - specifically D3DX, you're in for a world of hurt).

Ironically, moving to a 64-bit OS and a 64-bit process (more pain if you think sizeof size_t still equals sizeof anything else) can actually reduce application instability simply because you're less likely to run out of memory if you think memory is there to be leaked.

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Facebook worth more than Portugal? Hell, it's worth a LOT more than THAT

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Re: Opportunity cost? @DavCrav

Good God, man, that was 13 years ago. Almost 14 if you can count properly right off the bat. (Which I clearly can't.)

I have trouble remembering last Wednesday's breakfast. (But putting White Russians on your Cornflakes can take you that way sometimes.)

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Re: Opportunity cost? @DavCrav

I guess my argument would have made more sense if The Register had a tongue-in-cheek icon, huh? ;)

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Re: Opportunity cost?

Substitute "Facebook" with "The Internet", and you might be on to something.

As much as the Internet has helped us, it has also reduced productivity - especially in the office. Back when I first started working (early 90s) there was no real Internet (technically there was, but we didn't really know about it), and email rarely happened (I vaguely recall some convoluted DOS prompt login process which allowed me to be informed I had no new messages). When I sat at my desk, I worked - or looked at and discussed the cool things people around me were working on (I worked in the games industry at a well respected developer - the stuff going on around me was cooler than cool).

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Google reveals bug Microsoft says is mere gnat

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Again Google?

I'm starting to see Google as that annoying kid at school who just won't shut up.

Like this one.

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Polish chap builds computer into a mouse

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Joke

Meh

It's not even cordless.

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