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* Posts by c3

59 posts • joined 8 Jul 2009

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Amazon wants me to WEAR NAPPIES?! But I'm a 40-something MAN

c3

Joke's on you

When you find out your daughter is pregnant.

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Megaupload case near collapse: report

c3
Mushroom

Re: A bit harsh for downloading crap movies, donchyathink?

Well, they already bought those drones and Osama is dead, so they gotta use them on someone. After all, they have to justify buying new ones soon, otherwise poor Lockheed Martin or Boeing might not turn record profits.

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The iPad 3 would make me so horny...

c3
Mushroom

Re: overpriced?

A nice screen, a keyboard, a drive, an SD Card and a couple of USB slots ... this concept might catch on. I wonder how nobody thought of it before.

And it could fold, and people could hold it on the top of their lap while using them. Quite intriguing.

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Watchdog sniffs David Beckham's wedding tackle

c3
Mushroom

Re: Who are these strange, prudish people?

Most likely the same people that consider all the rape and murdering in the Bible and a viciously vengeful God to be perfectly ok for children. Also, many of them consider physical punishment to be totally cool, to, for their children.

Now everybody remember: a pair of tits is very dangerous for children. That's why we give them guns, so they can defend against it.

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Game of Thrones Blu-ray disc set

c3
Trollface

Re: re: Jaime Lannister

That's what royal intermarriage will do.

Royal intermarriage will, in time, lead to inbreeding. The Lannisters just skipped a few steps in the process. One might say they were quite progressive with this "the future is today" mentality.

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GIANT KANGAROOS wiped out by humans, not climate change

c3
Pint

After mammoths, I want marsupial rhinos to be cloned next

Followed by marsupial lions.

Now where's the "WANT" icon ?

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BOFH: Moon landings, Pong and the case of the smoking server

c3
Happy

Akkademic Internationalsch Kommuniten sounds cool

How do I join ?

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Pope's PR says Vatican in grip of WikiLeaks-style scandal

c3
Mushroom

Damn Satan, disguising himself as hot altar boys to discredit the church

I mean, a holy man can only take that much hotness till he breaks and rapes someone.

As for fraud, how would they get the money to pay off the families while hiding traces, as god intended them to ?

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c3
Mushroom

Surely you mean diplomatic impunity

And no, I won't stop calling you Shirley

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c3
Mushroom

Aren't people who look after other lovely buildings less child-rapey, though ?

Also less people-burny, book-burny, contraception-fighty, ignorance-spready ....

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Four Romanians charged with hacking 150 Subway shops

c3
Mushroom

It's also amusing that racist pricks like you can't write software, so you need foreigners

to write it for you. A lot of times it's foreign nationals who write the good software, because most americans and englishmen won't even bother to study computer science.

Now go patrol that border fence to keep 'Murrica safe from them Mexicans, ok Governor Perry ? Or is this Senator McCain ?

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Japan, Russia in plan for elephant to birth CLONE MAMMOTH

c3
Thumb Down

For how many of those do you have valid DNA ?

I guess the chance of finding a frozen Dodo are quite slim.

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c3
Thumb Down

I'd think they'd rather enjoy that

what with assault rifles being sold at Walmart (AFAIK).

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Take this survey: Win an iPad 2

c3
Mushroom

Instead you look like a dumbass

Alternative scenario:

1. Win iPad 2.

2. Sell it on eBay.

3. Buy whatever meta-hipster gadget you're not too cool for.

4. Pat yourself on the back for not being a dumbass.

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Inside the shadow world of commercialised spook spyware

c3
Holmes

Because money

Money is always the correct answer. It all eventually gets down to money.

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Facebook boss-lady is up the pole on the glass ceiling

c3
Trollface

I totally agree with her. Now she should show me how motivated she is

by washing those dishes and making me a sammich.

Now, El Reg, where's that icon for TITS/GTFO ?!

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Results in on why life, the universe and everything exists

c3
Coat

And if you were homeless, you'd be home by now

Just sayin

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c3
Trollface

So ours having some anti-matter makes it bi-curious, right ?

Someone inform the Westboro Baptist Church so they can make some "God hates anti-matter" signs or something.

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Japan develops powered armour suit for nuke workers

c3
Mushroom

Everyone got Cyberdyne, but you're missing HAL

As in HAL, the murderous computer from 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Also, Skynet already exists. There are a bunch of things called Skynet. Amongst them: satellites and an ISP: just what a newborn self-aware computerized conscience needs to keep an eye on its former masters, the puny humans.

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A rapid first hands-on: Nokia’s Windows phones

c3
Meh

Colors for Indian market ?

I read somewhere they are positioning these phones for the Indian market. Maybe someone at Nokia saw some Indian clothing and/or some Indian movies just after taking a look at India's wiki page, and thought:

Lower end (cheaper) smartphone + bright colors + India = 1 BILLION phones sold

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Jobs was 'working on future product day before he died'

c3
Mushroom

Fuckin roads, who needs them ?

And since we're here, disband the police, let everyone get their private police and/or, event better, their private army. Why get tazed by the police when a private "contractor" can do a much better job and kill you with just one bullet ? The taxpayer would pay for the electricity in the Tazer, but not for the private contractor's bullet. The contractor would have to cover his own expenses - for example by forcing your wife and daughter to provide sexual services to the highest bidder.

PS: If it's not clear, I think you're a "libertard" who's way too confused about what having no government (or "merely" having almost no rules) would mean. I'd recommend reading up on some history, but I doubt you have the mental strength to accomplish such a monumental task.

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BOFH: Where's my free fondleslab?

c3
Meh

Hipster BOHF

Sells out to get some free shit, but does it ironically.

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UK punters happy to pay £3 to top up e-wallets

c3

Speaking of current practice: Proton

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proton_(bank_card)

(Still) In use in Belgium and quite handy IMO. And 100% free.

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Android, Steve Jobs, and Apple's '90%' tablet share

c3
WTF?

Shouldn't Unix be considered premium ?

When you say premium, you imply costs + quality. That's UNIX.

Windows, on the other hand, is just expensive shit.

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Google open sources MapReduce compression

c3
Grenade

And they probably use FOR and IF in their code

Just like I did in a HelloWorld application years ago. This must clearly mean I invented their algorithm and they have no merit whatsoever.

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HBGary's nemesis is a '16-year-old schoolgirl'

c3
Megaphone

what are you doing on the computer ?

the computer is not in the kitchen.

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Quit Facebook Day flops

c3
FAIL

you need to haul your ass back to school

apparently your dumb ass can't understand the difference between a statistical sample and a group of people who are NOT selected for statistical purposes.

here, let me explain: if you take 1000 british people that live in london and ask them where they live, it is NOT correct to say based on that that 100% of british people live in london. get it ? nah, i doubt you do.

those 34k people got together for a reason: to quit facebook. so even if all of them did, it doesn't mean all the users of facebook quit the site. on the other hand the percentage of people who expressed interest in organizing this protest might be somewhat relevant - just 34k out of hundreds of millions is a very small percentage, and even if there were 10 times more, it still would be next to nothing.

now if you want to have something resembling real science you can take 1000 RANDOM users of facebook and ask them if they intend to quit because of the privacy concerns. of course it wouldn't be real science, cause your sample would influence the result, but this is what you have formulas for. formulas for deducting the proper sample size and the error margins for a sample. and of course proper sample sizes depend on the sampling technique, from random (basic, more error prone) to more advanced and less error prone techniques.

PS: what the fuck is this facebook i keep hearing about ?

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Oz watchdog nips Pammie Anderson's bikini-clad ass

c3

Australia. The new Iran.

Now I hear France has some extra burkas lying around. How about they send them to Austrialia so they can properly dress their women so their kangaroos won't be offended.

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Google may exit China after 'highly targeted' attack

c3
Dead Vulture

Eat your heart out, Orlowski :D

So how you gonna spin this one against Google ?

No matter rhe real motuves, they get bonus points for the fact that they publicly criticize China when everyone from governments to large companies has been treating it with kid gloves and doing its best not to upset it.

I really don't get all the blind hate for Google when they've been a major engine of innovation. They are the reason your mailbox size in counted in GB instead of MB. They pushed many free products, forcing many others to follow suit. Their papers inspired better open source products like Hadoop. Their push to get cheaper and more efficient data centers has many other companies trying to follow in their footsteps - and they get to save some money and we get to breathe air that is a little less polluted. They created Android and brought some competition and pushed innovation on a market that would otherwise be thoroughly dominated by Apple. And there are many other examples.

Of course you need to keep an eye on them and not just trust them, cause after all every corporation is going for profit. But harping on every little thing that they do or say became really annoying.

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France gets a fourth third generation network

c3
Go

AFAIK Free brought down the prices for Internet connections

So if they do the same thing with mobile prices it can only be good for the consumer.

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Scareware scammers exploit Brittany Murphy's death

c3
WTF?

I wouldn't call Michael Jackson's death that surprising

There were some reports he might be sick and given the abuse his body has taken over the years you wouldn't really expect him to leave to be 70-80 years old, would you ? If he did, it would have been a small miracle in itself.

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Ten years of .NET - Did Microsoft deliver?

c3
FAIL

What a load of crap

"If the goal of .NET was to see off Java, it was at least partially successful. Java did not die, but enterprise Java became mired in complexity, making .NET an easy sell as a more productive alternative."

- It might be an easy sell cause the people doing the buying are not the ones who'll do the coding.

- When written by good coders Java can be beautiful and simple. However, in the hands of morons it can turn into an ugly thing that's entirely too complex for their comprehension abilities - just like any language, including C#.

- The promises of marketing (perfect integration, has every tool for your needs, you can do everything with the mouse, you won't need to write a line of code and all the other crap) are just crap. Managers eat that shit up as if there ever was a tool that could cover all the needs of a large application. Every particular application has its own specific requirements and quirks and if you don't have good people to implement a proper solution not even .Net can fix it for you.

- Productivity might be better if you develop for IE only. Otherwise for the server side a Java coder who's experienced with a certain stack (say Hibernate, Spring) can develop just as fast if not faster.

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c3
FAIL

@Robinson - You sound like a MS advertorial

No self respecting coder would EVER use the phrase "fantastic language features".

And if you picked .Net to code as a hobby (as you claim), why would you care that "It can be used on the majority of PC's in business (and at home)". You should only care that it runs on your machine(s).

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Google contradicts self, confirms own Googlephone

c3

The Terminator Phone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFrufPxjwX0&feature=related

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Mozilla man sends Firefoxers to Microsoft Bing

c3
Coat

Awwww, Microsoft, that last bastion of freedom

Mine's the one with a post-it that says "LOL" in the pocket.

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Android 2.0: what to expect

c3
Big Brother

So you wrote half a page to bitch about the iPhone and Android that you don't own and won't buy

You knew about Google's "privacy problem" long before they created the Androit platform, so how were you tempted by it ? I call bullshit. You just wanted to bitch a little bit about Google without seeming an unreasonable ass (which you are) and since you were at it you took the opportunity to bitch about Apple as well.

If your privacy is so damn important to you and everybody is out to get you, how about you get off the fuckin' Internet and leave us alone. Cause here we can all see you. We got your IP and we know who you are. We're coming for you. Better throw away your computer and run hide in that cave.

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Google expands plan to run own internet

c3
Welcome

Re: Hmmmm...

If the machines ever become aware they'll know they'll still need the geeks for the occasional bug-fixing or developing a new feature (such as better aiming). The rest of you will be fucked, though.

It's the evolution of society: first it was ruled by warriors, then by priests, then by politicians, now by businessmen. Soon it will be geeks.

Oh, I forgot: I, for one, welcome The SelfAware One, our Lord Google !!!

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c3
Headmaster

Re: Re: This is, well, annoying

"Critic of an article's grammar? then check yours comment's before you post"

Didn't you mean "check you comments'/comment's (grammar) before you post" ? Or maybe "check yours" as in "your grammar" ?

Maybe my English is failing me here, but "check yours comment's" seems, well, wrong.

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Pig plague alert: Avoid missionary position

c3
Headmaster

@ Ian Ferguson

IIRC it was Naked Gun, not Police Academy.

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c3
Joke

Fist bump is out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJzIxo2-PCg

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Why probe Google for antitrust? It 'does no evil'

c3
Big Brother

Maybe you need to take a course on how to properly search on the Internets

which I would be more than willing to provide to you for 5 easy payments of ....

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SQL Server 2008 - from semi-relational to sublime

c3
FAIL

"Anyone with any pretensions towards technical savvy" will have already changed that setting

Technical savvy people would need to know the extensions of the files on their machines and would also have no problem in finding the configuration and changing it.

Hiding the extension is a "feature" aimed at the average Windows user - presumably to avoid overloading their little brains with information such as the extension of a file and - GASP - what a file extension is.

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Yank objects to Reg cherry-popping headline

c3
Grenade

Do his children know what smells like fish and tastes like chicken ?

Just being curious.

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Taiwanese sex scammer's net double is NYC model

c3

Hsu Shian-ming is a hero

I mean not only boning that many women, but getting £3,725,000 from them ???

He should get a medal for this.

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Bill Gates plants (wetter) smooch on Steve Jobs

c3
Gates Horns

Gates know MS needs Apple. They need someone to steal the innovations from

Otherwise trying to innovate themselves might prove to be too complicated.

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Microsoft admits Mac was Windows 7 muse

c3
Happy

Next up: Earth is round and (GAH) perhaps not the center of the universe

Microsoft Windows 8 to feature the latest in technology: the fire and the wheel.

Latest developments: In an attempt to draw Linux fanbois, Microsoft will adopt the (utterly retarded) Ubuntu naming scheme. Microsoft Windows 8 to be named Miscarried Macheleon (you know ... attempt to mimic the Mac chameleon style + failure to deliver)

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Brussels agrees pan-European ID standard

c3
Flame

Why all the fuss ? We already know who you are and what you're doing at any given time.

The databases are already there, the information is already shared, this is just standardization. Anyone working in IT knows that standardization has a bunch of benefits.

As for the "we don't need no stinking ID" brits, just don't make us slap bar codes on your fat and still growing asses. You'll get an ID like everyone else in Europe, and you'll like it. And that's that.

Actually, there's more: soon you'll have to learn how to drive properly.

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Catholic priests, scientists head to Rome to ponder alien life

c3
WTF?

"Funes even suggested aliens might not suffer from that human burden original sin."

No sin, no need for the church, right ?

No sin means they're angels or Jesus himself or at least 2nd cousins to Mary.

And what if the no-sin-little-green-men just happen to develop a taste for human flesh ?

Holy aliens eating believers ? How would a christian respond to that ? Will they think it's the rapture (via alien digestion) ? I mean, why not ? God works in mysterious ways, right ?

And even if this is not the case, no sin means they're more or less like the animals on earth. Will the church start converting poodles and lolcats next ?

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c3

Looking to the stars for more subjects ... any plans for a deathstar yet ?

http://skepacabra.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/pope-benedict-palpatine.jpg

Which, I suppose, makes Darth Vader the 2nd coming. After all, the force was strong in him, right ?

Funny how of all the "classic" SciFi movies I thought the scenario from Terminator seemed the most plausible.

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NASA: the world will not end in 2012

c3

But isn't this exactly what they'd say if it was true ?

"The story goes that NASA has been secretly tracking this rogue planet since 1983 but has suppressed all news of its existence across the world in the name of <<global security.>>"

So there, I just proved that in fact the world will end in 2012.

Q.E.D.

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