* Posts by Kane

362 posts • joined 17 May 2007

Page:

UK.gov wants to stop teenagers looking at tits online. No, really

Kane
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Re: I thought we were supposed to be electing intelligent people to lead us?

"See tit."

I see what you did there!

1
0
Kane
Bronze badge
Childcatcher

Re: 5 minutes

"Perhaps it's more of a 'force people to somehow register' thing so someone somewhere has 'A List Of People'"

Credit Card verification. As you can only own a credit card if you are over 18.

Whilst you won't be required to actually buy anything from a website/service that is hosting material of the jiggly variety, you could be asked to verify a credit card on-line - much like how certain e-transactions with shopping websites work, e.g. Sainsbury's. Once the details are stored with the card company you can pretty much order as often as you want from the website, without having to re-enter all your card details each time (barring the occasions if you check in/check out multiple times in one day - then they get arsey about it).

1
5

Email apparently from Home Office warns of emails apparently from Home Office

Kane
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: Theresa May ...

"I wonder if I can prove that black is white."

Don't use that zebra crossing!

Mine's the dressing gown with the unfortunately shaped teastain down the front.

1
0

Antitrust this! EU Commish goes after HOLLYWOOD’s big guns

Kane
Bronze badge
Unhappy

While we're about it...

...can we also do away with the release schedule delays between overseas tv shows/films? I know that over recent years it's gotten better, certainly with multinational film releases, but there is a god-awful delay between the release of a tv series in the States and it's subsequent release in the UK.

2
0

AI finally understands primitive sketches – aka marketing presentations

Kane
Bronze badge

Sounds like...

...an anti-captcha piece of software to me.

0
0

The Ruskies are coming for you, NSA director tells City bankers

Kane
Bronze badge
Unhappy

"We're in a world now where despite your best efforts, you must prepare for and assume that you will be penetrated."

In other words...

0
0

Russian billionaire: GET me the ALIENS ON THE PHONE. Do it NOW

Kane
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Re: ET Comment Home@Elmer Phud

Nine times out of ten!

0
0

Marshall wants to turn your phone UP TO ELEVEN

Kane
Bronze badge
Trollface

Re: The most Important Question:

Can it play back in Dubly?

1
0

Horrifying MOCK BACON ABOMINATION grown in BUBBLING VATS as ALGAE

Kane
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: Bah!

"Singling out an individual service station for being crap is akin to singling out an individual electron for supplying power to your telly."

What, you mean this one?

9
0

Q. Why did Nintendo force GitHub to take down an emulator? A. It was stuffed with ROMs

Kane
Bronze badge
Unhappy

@Annihilator

This seems to be the direction of travel for the industry. This is not a Nintendo specific example, but there are a lot of shenanigans afoot from the big hitters in the industry around the use of offline/unsupported/abandoned software/hardware. Some salient quotes from the linked article:

"There's no such thing as an obsolete game when you can revive it on any platform at any time. It's digital. From our perspective, there is no merit to the term 'obsolete.' There is no need to allow people to hack or otherwise open up these things or create competing economic enterprises."

"It is not uncommon to improve upon or re-introduce a game at a later time or to iterate upon the software after server support has ended to obtain a return on this valuable investment. Allowing circumvention to enable access to third-party game servers after a video game publisher ends online support harms the market for these new copyrighted works."

This is why there has been such a big move away from physical media for the current gen consoles; it is becoming more common to provide download links/codes for the games when buying a console bundle. Less physical media=greater control of the product for the company.

5
0

Download Festival face scan: You’re right to be annoyed, said UK surveillance commish

Kane
Bronze badge
Big Brother

Re: Today - faces, tomorrow - thoughts

"...or even just committing a thought crime."

Or even just thinking about committing a thought crime!

9
0

Security gurus deliver coup de grace to US govt's encryption backdoor demands

Kane
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: O be still my frightened heart

"I mean, I live in the place, and even I know that "bastion of freedom and democracy" was right out of the picture by the 1980s"

Would that be around about 1984?

1
0

Chair legs it from UK govt smart meter installation programme

Kane
Bronze badge
Facepalm

F*%&wits

"I look forward to working closely with a new Chair on the delivery of this programme, which will bring the benefits of smart meters to British households and businesses."

So they still want to continue ahead with it then?

F*%&wits.

36
0

Who wants a classic ThinkPad with whizzy new hardware? Lenovo would just love to know

Kane
Bronze badge
Trollface
2
0

Hated Care.data scheme now 'unachievable', howls UK.gov watchdog

Kane
Bronze badge
Facepalm

Hah!

See title.

More to the point, that's nearly £1bn spend on projects that either are not going to deliver or...no, there is no "or" really, is there?

So, about these austerity cuts then...

2
0

Flushed with success: No bog standard Canadian goldfish these

Kane
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: Diversify!

Goldfish onnastick! 50p!

Or Innabun! 75p!

With Ketchup! £3.50p

Have you tried eating one without ketchup?

7
0

GCHQ didn't illegally spy on Brit NGOs, tribunal rules

Kane
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: YAAC Or 3rd option

Matt will now explain how many angels can dance on the head of that particular pin.

Angels simply don't dance. It's one of the distinguishing characteristics that marks an angel. They may listen appreciatively to the Music of the Spheres, but they don't feel the urge to get down and boogie to it.

Unless it'a a gavotte, in which case, one.

1
0

Raspberry Pi guys want you to go topless in the heat

Kane
Bronze badge
Trollface

"Did you want a turbo button as well?"

And Go Faster Stripes please!

1
0

For fax's sake: Medic chaos as e-Referrals system goes offline

Kane
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Re: Was never un-cocked before.

@Immenseness

Sounds like a perfect example of perverse incentive to me!

0
0

Ready to go again, soldier? Final Fantasy VII remake revealed

Kane
Bronze badge
Happy
0
0
Kane
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Re: Sir

"For instance, if Nintendo released a machine with updated specs and all they had to run on it was Ocarina of Time (updated) then I would pay good money just for that."

3DS if you haven't already, it's worth a go.

0
0

4 new twists that push the hacker attack on millions of US govt workers into WTF land

Kane
Bronze badge
Black Helicopters

Amazing really...

With all the hyperbole over the past six months (from both sides of the pond) about how the authorities need to have back door/front door access to encryption, and the more recent comments from the FBI about all those pesky cybercriminals and how the US is on the verge of a massive attack, isn't it just a bit convenient that a large attack of this nature happened?

Can we have a black flag icon please, El Reg? I think it's appropriate under the circumstances.

Hmm? I can hear a strange whum whum whum whum noise in the distance, I wonder what that could be?

2
1

The Martian: Matt Damon sciences the sh*t out of the red planet

Kane
Bronze badge
Alien

@Tenacal

2276709 to one...

...and falling.

5
0

The USB Lego, bluetooth coffee cups and connected cats of Computex 2015

Kane
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: Hmm...

"The question is: will it blend??"

The question is: will it play Crysis??

FTFY.

1
0

HMRC ditches Microsoft for Google, sends data offshore

Kane
Bronze badge
Holmes

Huh?

"Ironically, HMRC is the same department tasked with implementing the so-called Google Tax"

Well, what other department would be tasked with implementing a new tax system?

3
0

Google patents DEVIL TOY which will BRAINWASH KIDS

Kane
Bronze badge
Alien

Re: Taking Mattel are they?

"The creatures will have several exciting battle hymns and of course be constructed in automated factories that nobody knows the location of."

La mayyitan ma qadirun yatabaqqa sarmadi Fa idha yaji' al-shudhdhadh fa-l-maut qad yantahi.

1
0

Wheely, wheely mad: Petrolheads fume over buggy Formula One app

Kane
Bronze badge
Holmes

The Ecclestone Effect

As Reg reader Jules told us, "this year, when the free service was taken off the official F1 site and the subscription went up to £26, we assumed great things were afoot".

Yes, that's right, great things are afoot. Bernie knew he had a massive tax bill incoming and wanted to squeeze a few more quid out of the viewing public!

21
0

Grand Theft Auto maker lobs sueball at BBC over biopic

Kane
Bronze badge
Childcatcher

Re: Law fail

"Any guesses what they're playing at?"

As MyBackDoor states, Publicity.

My bet is that some senior peeps on both sides have had a quiet discussion beforehand, and arrived at a mutual arrangement whereby Take-Two Interactive will launch the lawsuit, knowing full well that it won't gain any real traction, and then the BBC will cover that as a story ensuring that it gets picked up by other forms of media coverage (*cough* El Reg *cough*), with the the net result being GTA gets continued coverage, keeping it fresh in the minds of the general populace (and who knows, maybe even increasing the sales by a slight margin...), and the BBC basically gets to advertise it's new documentary without having to actually advertise it.

This all seems to smack of the "controversy" around the launch and marketing of the original game. Which I have no problem with, personally; I just found it entertaining in and of itself.

5
0

ZX Spectrum 'Hobbit' revival sparks developer dispute

Kane
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: Repeat after me:

May I direct your ire and Overuse Of Capitals For Every Word to both here, and here?

0
0

KFC's new secret ingredient is a bluetooth keyboard on your tray

Kane
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Re: Elven herbs and spices?

...makes Dwarf Bread seem like a tasty meal.

Baked from the finest stone-ground grit, just like mother used to jump up and down on it.

2
0

Ex 'Tech City' chief Shields appointed junior Fun minister for internet safety

Kane
Bronze badge
Big Brother

Re: Communications Data Bill@Hadvar

"Surely with their 'wafer thin' majority, there will be enough sensible / obnoxiously rebellious Tory back benchers to ensure that nonsense like the Communications Data Bill doesn't happen."

Unfortunately not old chap, as it seems that regardless of which party you belong to, they all seem to want to make these changes towards that direction of travel.

Icon most definitely appropriate, I think.

3
0
Kane
Bronze badge
WTF?

Hah!

>ex-head of Facebook Europe

>minister for internet safety and security

Oh, how I laughed...

14
0

BARMY bio-boffins are growing DINOSAUR SNOUTS on CHICKENS

Kane
Bronze badge
Go

Wait a minute...

...does this mean I can actually get my own mini Raptor Squad?

0
0

Attack of the possibly-Nazi clone parakeet invaders

Kane
Bronze badge
Alert

Re: Speaking of Pigeons...

Has anyone else, UK-dwelling, noticed that there seem to be almost as many magpies about these days as pigeons?

Yep, this year is the first year that we've had more magpies than pigeons land in the garden during the morning feeding squabble, and they've been particularly aggressive to some off the sparrows and robins as well.

1
0

NSA spying is illegal? Then let's make it law, say Republicans

Kane
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Re: Mitch McConnell and Senator Burr are being a bit dense...

Hey, Mr Hack, have you sent that email yet?

0
0

Facebook 'fesses up to running an ideological echo chamber

Kane
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: A breeding ground for extremism then...

"why is that duck on your head painted blue?"

What duck?

11
0

UK's annual PCB waste = 81 HMS Belfasts, says National Physical Lab

Kane
Bronze badge
Go

Re: Yes indeed

Tub of elbow grease?

0
0

Graphic designs: Six speedy 17-inch gaming laptops

Kane
Bronze badge
Joke

Yes, but...

...Can they run Crysis?

0
0

Dev gives HBO free math tips to nail Game of Thrones pirate leakers

Kane
Bronze badge
Boffin

Here's an Idea...

How about changing the broadcast model instead? You know, if the series is already finished with post-production, just have the entire series available for download/streaming from [input provider of choice here] immediately. Wait a short period afterwards, monitor the volume of actual retention of the entire series (all of those who watched the entire series run, and then possibly re-watched?), then release a limited run of the physical DVD/BRay based on those figures for those who like to collect such things.

Surely by providing what people actually want for a reasonable price, instead of pandering to advertisers wallet padding, would be better in the long run? And would possibly counter the torrent leaks?

Maybe?

1
1

TTIP: Protect our privacy in EU-US trade deal or ELSE, snarl MEPs

Kane
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

"If the Commish wants MEPs to approve its TTIP position it will likely have to give ground in these areas them large bags containing their non-sequential currency of choice."

FTFY.

4
0

You. FTC. Get over here. Google is INVADING our children's MINDS – anti-ad campaigners

Kane
Bronze badge
Devil

Re: Ummmm @ Steve Davies 3

From the late, great Bill Hicks:

By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing… kill yourself.

No, no, no it’s just a little thought. I’m just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they’ll take root – I don’t know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself.

Seriously though, if you are, do.

Aaah, no really, there’s no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan’s little helpers. Okay – kill yourself – seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously. No this is not a joke, you’re going, “there’s going to be a joke coming,” there’s no fucking joke coming. You are Satan’s spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It’s the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself.

Planting seeds. I know all the marketing people are going, “he’s doing a joke…” there’s no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a Yank friend – I don’t care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil fucking makinations. Machi… Whatever, you know what I mean.

I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too, “Oh, you know what Bill’s doing, he’s going for that anti-marketing dollar. That’s a good market, he’s very smart.”

Oh man, I am not doing that. You fucking evil scumbags!

“Ooh, you know what Bill’s doing now, he’s going for the righteous indignation dollar. That’s a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We’ve done research – huge market. He’s doing a good thing.”

Godammit, I’m not doing that, you scum-bags! Quit putting a godamm dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet!

“Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market, Bill’s very bright to do that.”

God, I’m just caught in a fucking web.

“Ooh the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market – look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar…”

How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don’t you?

“What didya do today honey?”

“Oh, we made ah, we made ah arsenic a childhood food now, goodnight.” [snores] “Yeah we just said you know is your baby really too loud? You know?” [snores] “Yeah, you know the mums will love it.” [snores]

Sleep like fucking children, don’t ya, this is your world isn’t it?

0
0

Turnbull's digital transformation office DOES SOMETHING

Kane
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Excellent!

Now we're outsourcing incompetent government initiatives to our commonwealth cousins! And they appear to be adopting similar time-scales and effectiveness as well. Brilliant!

3
0

Boris Johnson backs trade union campaign to ungag civil servants

Kane
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: Facts not opinions@ MrXavia

"These are subjects where they should get expert advice of the VERY independent kind, i.e. people who are paid no matter who is in power...."

So...civil servants then?

3
0

BBC gives naked computers to kids (hmm, code for something?)

Kane
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: well you know what they say...@John Styles

In the words of Xander in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Sometimes I shouldn't say words".

0
0

Bulgaria nixes 'metadata' law, Paraguay delays

Kane
Bronze badge
Unhappy

I wish it hadn't, too...

Thanks Dan, now I can't finish eating the rest of my bacon roll.

1
0

Bulk interception is NOT mass surveillance, says parliamentary committee

Kane
Bronze badge
Black Helicopters

The committee established that "bulk interception cannot be used to search for and examine the communications of an individual in the UK unless GCHQ first obtains a specific authorisation naming that individual, signed by a Secretary of State".

Unless one of our Special Relationship® partners happens to do the bulk interception/collection on our behalf.

8
0

Bulk comms spying is not mission creep, insists UK foreign sec

Kane
Bronze badge
Black Helicopters

Interesting use of language...

"...in the wake of the Snowden allegations..."

So, they're just "allegations" now, are they, Phil?

10
1

MPs 'alarmed' by millions of mugshots on Brit cops' databases

Kane
Bronze badge
Black Helicopters

Re: Future, what future@Hadvar

"Ultimately, I think people cant be arsed. As long as there is food and beer in the shops, and telly at home, the majority are happy."

"..there is always soma, delicious soma, half a gramme for a half-holiday, a gramme for a week-end, two grammes for a trip to the gorgeous East, three for a dark eternity on the moon..."

1
0

Lost WHITE CITY of the MONKEY GOD found after 500 years

Kane
Bronze badge
Boffin

Re: Primeval rain forest?

"I feel National Geographic might need to look up the meaning of "primeval". It can hardly be primeval forest if 500 years ago it was a city."

Yeah...you may have misread that bit...

"The rain forest surrounding the area is so primeval that the animals appear never to have seen humans before, reported the National Geographic."

Plus, for bonus points...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old-growth_forest - Particular extract...

Depending on the forest, this may take anywhere from a century to several millennia. Hardwood forests of the eastern United States can develop old-growth characteristics in one or two generations of trees, or 150–500 years. In British Columbia, Canada, old growth is defined as 120 to 140 years of age in the interior of the province where fire is a frequent and natural occurrence. In British Columbia’s coastal rainforests, old growth is defined as trees more than 250 years, with some trees reaching more than 1,000 years of age. In Australia, eucalypt trees rarely exceed 350 years of age due to frequent fire disturbance.

Yeah, yeah, I know. It's wikipedia....

3
0

HIGH-RANNOSAURUS WRECKED: Druggie dinos tripped balls on psychedelics – boffins

Kane
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

This reminds me...

"It seems like ergot has been involved with animals and humans almost forever, and now we know that this fungus literally dates back to the earliest evolution of grasses"

I remember watching a film in the late 90's that had a similar theme, almost like a docudrama with a narrator following the exploits of a pre homo sapiens/erectus ape wandering the plains of Africa (the premise being he was the last of his kind), and a particular scene that struck me was when the ape creature consumed a bunch of magic mushrooms; the narration went on to speculate that the consumption of halucinogenics could have been a precursor, trigger or catalyst for the evolution of primate minds, and that this was succesfully passed on to our ancestors and gave the species more of an edge in terms of changing the way an animal's thought processes works. I could never remember the name of the film, as it was one of those late night accidents that happens when changing channels.

I wonder how common it was/is for different species to consume halucinogens (by accident or on purpose), and how this has affected their development.

0
0

Page:

Forums