* Posts by Kane

337 posts • joined 17 May 2007

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Google patents DEVIL TOY which will BRAINWASH KIDS

Kane
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Alien

Re: Taking Mattel are they?

"The creatures will have several exciting battle hymns and of course be constructed in automated factories that nobody knows the location of."

La mayyitan ma qadirun yatabaqqa sarmadi Fa idha yaji' al-shudhdhadh fa-l-maut qad yantahi.

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Wheely, wheely mad: Petrolheads fume over buggy Formula One app

Kane
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Holmes

The Ecclestone Effect

As Reg reader Jules told us, "this year, when the free service was taken off the official F1 site and the subscription went up to £26, we assumed great things were afoot".

Yes, that's right, great things are afoot. Bernie knew he had a massive tax bill incoming and wanted to squeeze a few more quid out of the viewing public!

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Grand Theft Auto maker lobs sueball at BBC over biopic

Kane
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Childcatcher

Re: Law fail

"Any guesses what they're playing at?"

As MyBackDoor states, Publicity.

My bet is that some senior peeps on both sides have had a quiet discussion beforehand, and arrived at a mutual arrangement whereby Take-Two Interactive will launch the lawsuit, knowing full well that it won't gain any real traction, and then the BBC will cover that as a story ensuring that it gets picked up by other forms of media coverage (*cough* El Reg *cough*), with the the net result being GTA gets continued coverage, keeping it fresh in the minds of the general populace (and who knows, maybe even increasing the sales by a slight margin...), and the BBC basically gets to advertise it's new documentary without having to actually advertise it.

This all seems to smack of the "controversy" around the launch and marketing of the original game. Which I have no problem with, personally; I just found it entertaining in and of itself.

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ZX Spectrum 'Hobbit' revival sparks developer dispute

Kane
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Joke

Re: Repeat after me:

May I direct your ire and Overuse Of Capitals For Every Word to both here, and here?

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KFC's new secret ingredient is a bluetooth keyboard on your tray

Kane
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Re: Elven herbs and spices?

...makes Dwarf Bread seem like a tasty meal.

Baked from the finest stone-ground grit, just like mother used to jump up and down on it.

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Ex 'Tech City' chief Shields appointed junior Fun minister for internet safety

Kane
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Big Brother

Re: Communications Data Bill@Hadvar

"Surely with their 'wafer thin' majority, there will be enough sensible / obnoxiously rebellious Tory back benchers to ensure that nonsense like the Communications Data Bill doesn't happen."

Unfortunately not old chap, as it seems that regardless of which party you belong to, they all seem to want to make these changes towards that direction of travel.

Icon most definitely appropriate, I think.

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Kane
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WTF?

Hah!

>ex-head of Facebook Europe

>minister for internet safety and security

Oh, how I laughed...

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BARMY bio-boffins are growing DINOSAUR SNOUTS on CHICKENS

Kane
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Go

Wait a minute...

...does this mean I can actually get my own mini Raptor Squad?

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Attack of the possibly-Nazi clone parakeet invaders

Kane
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Alert

Re: Speaking of Pigeons...

Has anyone else, UK-dwelling, noticed that there seem to be almost as many magpies about these days as pigeons?

Yep, this year is the first year that we've had more magpies than pigeons land in the garden during the morning feeding squabble, and they've been particularly aggressive to some off the sparrows and robins as well.

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NSA spying is illegal? Then let's make it law, say Republicans

Kane
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Re: Mitch McConnell and Senator Burr are being a bit dense...

Hey, Mr Hack, have you sent that email yet?

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Facebook 'fesses up to running an ideological echo chamber

Kane
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Joke

Re: A breeding ground for extremism then...

"why is that duck on your head painted blue?"

What duck?

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UK's annual PCB waste = 81 HMS Belfasts, says National Physical Lab

Kane
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Go

Re: Yes indeed

Tub of elbow grease?

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Graphic designs: Six speedy 17-inch gaming laptops

Kane
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Joke

Yes, but...

...Can they run Crysis?

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Dev gives HBO free math tips to nail Game of Thrones pirate leakers

Kane
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Boffin

Here's an Idea...

How about changing the broadcast model instead? You know, if the series is already finished with post-production, just have the entire series available for download/streaming from [input provider of choice here] immediately. Wait a short period afterwards, monitor the volume of actual retention of the entire series (all of those who watched the entire series run, and then possibly re-watched?), then release a limited run of the physical DVD/BRay based on those figures for those who like to collect such things.

Surely by providing what people actually want for a reasonable price, instead of pandering to advertisers wallet padding, would be better in the long run? And would possibly counter the torrent leaks?

Maybe?

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TTIP: Protect our privacy in EU-US trade deal or ELSE, snarl MEPs

Kane
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"If the Commish wants MEPs to approve its TTIP position it will likely have to give ground in these areas them large bags containing their non-sequential currency of choice."

FTFY.

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You. FTC. Get over here. Google is INVADING our children's MINDS – anti-ad campaigners

Kane
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Devil

Re: Ummmm @ Steve Davies 3

From the late, great Bill Hicks:

By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing… kill yourself.

No, no, no it’s just a little thought. I’m just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they’ll take root – I don’t know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself.

Seriously though, if you are, do.

Aaah, no really, there’s no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan’s little helpers. Okay – kill yourself – seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously. No this is not a joke, you’re going, “there’s going to be a joke coming,” there’s no fucking joke coming. You are Satan’s spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It’s the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself.

Planting seeds. I know all the marketing people are going, “he’s doing a joke…” there’s no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a Yank friend – I don’t care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil fucking makinations. Machi… Whatever, you know what I mean.

I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too, “Oh, you know what Bill’s doing, he’s going for that anti-marketing dollar. That’s a good market, he’s very smart.”

Oh man, I am not doing that. You fucking evil scumbags!

“Ooh, you know what Bill’s doing now, he’s going for the righteous indignation dollar. That’s a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We’ve done research – huge market. He’s doing a good thing.”

Godammit, I’m not doing that, you scum-bags! Quit putting a godamm dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet!

“Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market, Bill’s very bright to do that.”

God, I’m just caught in a fucking web.

“Ooh the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market – look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar…”

How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don’t you?

“What didya do today honey?”

“Oh, we made ah, we made ah arsenic a childhood food now, goodnight.” [snores] “Yeah we just said you know is your baby really too loud? You know?” [snores] “Yeah, you know the mums will love it.” [snores]

Sleep like fucking children, don’t ya, this is your world isn’t it?

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Turnbull's digital transformation office DOES SOMETHING

Kane
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Excellent!

Now we're outsourcing incompetent government initiatives to our commonwealth cousins! And they appear to be adopting similar time-scales and effectiveness as well. Brilliant!

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Boris Johnson backs trade union campaign to ungag civil servants

Kane
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Joke

Re: Facts not opinions@ MrXavia

"These are subjects where they should get expert advice of the VERY independent kind, i.e. people who are paid no matter who is in power...."

So...civil servants then?

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BBC gives naked computers to kids (hmm, code for something?)

Kane
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Joke

Re: well you know what they say...@John Styles

In the words of Xander in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Sometimes I shouldn't say words".

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Bulgaria nixes 'metadata' law, Paraguay delays

Kane
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Unhappy

I wish it hadn't, too...

Thanks Dan, now I can't finish eating the rest of my bacon roll.

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Bulk interception is NOT mass surveillance, says parliamentary committee

Kane
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Black Helicopters

The committee established that "bulk interception cannot be used to search for and examine the communications of an individual in the UK unless GCHQ first obtains a specific authorisation naming that individual, signed by a Secretary of State".

Unless one of our Special Relationship® partners happens to do the bulk interception/collection on our behalf.

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Bulk comms spying is not mission creep, insists UK foreign sec

Kane
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Black Helicopters

Interesting use of language...

"...in the wake of the Snowden allegations..."

So, they're just "allegations" now, are they, Phil?

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MPs 'alarmed' by millions of mugshots on Brit cops' databases

Kane
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Black Helicopters

Re: Future, what future@Hadvar

"Ultimately, I think people cant be arsed. As long as there is food and beer in the shops, and telly at home, the majority are happy."

"..there is always soma, delicious soma, half a gramme for a half-holiday, a gramme for a week-end, two grammes for a trip to the gorgeous East, three for a dark eternity on the moon..."

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Lost WHITE CITY of the MONKEY GOD found after 500 years

Kane
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Boffin

Re: Primeval rain forest?

"I feel National Geographic might need to look up the meaning of "primeval". It can hardly be primeval forest if 500 years ago it was a city."

Yeah...you may have misread that bit...

"The rain forest surrounding the area is so primeval that the animals appear never to have seen humans before, reported the National Geographic."

Plus, for bonus points...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old-growth_forest - Particular extract...

Depending on the forest, this may take anywhere from a century to several millennia. Hardwood forests of the eastern United States can develop old-growth characteristics in one or two generations of trees, or 150–500 years. In British Columbia, Canada, old growth is defined as 120 to 140 years of age in the interior of the province where fire is a frequent and natural occurrence. In British Columbia’s coastal rainforests, old growth is defined as trees more than 250 years, with some trees reaching more than 1,000 years of age. In Australia, eucalypt trees rarely exceed 350 years of age due to frequent fire disturbance.

Yeah, yeah, I know. It's wikipedia....

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HIGH-RANNOSAURUS WRECKED: Druggie dinos tripped balls on psychedelics – boffins

Kane
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This reminds me...

"It seems like ergot has been involved with animals and humans almost forever, and now we know that this fungus literally dates back to the earliest evolution of grasses"

I remember watching a film in the late 90's that had a similar theme, almost like a docudrama with a narrator following the exploits of a pre homo sapiens/erectus ape wandering the plains of Africa (the premise being he was the last of his kind), and a particular scene that struck me was when the ape creature consumed a bunch of magic mushrooms; the narration went on to speculate that the consumption of halucinogenics could have been a precursor, trigger or catalyst for the evolution of primate minds, and that this was succesfully passed on to our ancestors and gave the species more of an edge in terms of changing the way an animal's thought processes works. I could never remember the name of the film, as it was one of those late night accidents that happens when changing channels.

I wonder how common it was/is for different species to consume halucinogens (by accident or on purpose), and how this has affected their development.

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Jeb Bush, the man who may lead the US in 2016, dumps Floridians' private data on the web

Kane
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Coat

Re: Further proof...

Godwin's Law in action.

Yes, yes, I'm leaving...

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: The Red Dwarf chilli chutney egg sarnie

Kane
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Mushroom

Re: Encona?

Wow-Wow Sauce (the original, roundworld variety and the augmented variety)

Icon related>>>

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Forget robo-butlers – ROBO-MAIDS! New hotel staffed by slave-droids

Kane
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Boffin

Re: (so no good trying to bribe one for a room upgrade)

Is it me or did that actually make no sense

"Bribing for a room upgrade". So handing more cash over for a better room? okaaaayyyyyy.

What doesn't make sense? You slip a 20 of whatever the local currency happens to be (if it is the Triganic Pu, then I suggest you repair to the nearest currency exchange symposium), to the hotel receptionist, and they say "Ahh, it appears that the luxury suite has become available, please enjoy your stay with us, Sir!".

You get a room upgrade for less than the cost of the actual upgrade, and the receptionist pockets the 20 (or pocket universes all 160 Ningi's).

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Abuse of health data deserves JAIL, thunders ethics body

Kane
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Re: I had a true WTF moment this afternoon

"Me. My personal agenda? I just want to live as a free man and have others do so too."

Thank you.

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Spent the weekend watching Game of Thrones? You're a FAT LONELY SADDO

Kane
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Re: The credentials of the authors of the paper ...

"However, hibernating in front of your TV for a weekend is entirely your own business, and any opinion expressed to the contrary is merely that - an opinion."

There, FTFY!

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Snoopers' Charter amendments withdrawn – FOR NOW ...

Kane
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Happy

Re: Sneaky

"Representatives of the four main parties (Conservative, Labour, LibDems and the Metropolitan Police)..."

iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg

well played.

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Doomsday Clock says 3 MINUTES to MIDNIGHT. Again

Kane
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Boffin

Re: Look at meeeeeeee!!!!!!@ Ben Liddicott

Obligatory Douglas Adams quote methinks:

"Many respectable physicists said that they weren't going to stand for this -- partly because it was a debasement of science, but mostly because they didn't get invited to those sort of parties."

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Hola HoloLens: Reg man gets face time with Microsoft's holographic headset

Kane
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WTF?

Re: It's just a Koala

"Also what's with the Hoover logo?"

Exactly.

Ok, so the framing around the "H" is different, but it is the "H" that is recognisable here. It's the first thing that jumped out at me.

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Is it humanly possible to watch Gigli and Battlefield Earth back-to-back?

Kane
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Mushroom

Terrible films...

As we're adding in to the mix, Red Lights. Diabolical waste of time. If you have an hour and a half to kill, may I recommend you take a nap instead?

In the words of a much better Sigourney Weaver character, "Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure". Icon most definitely related>>>

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Facebook: Yo 'people'! Zap fake news on our giant ad farm, would'ja?

Kane
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Thumb Up

Re: In that case...

Beat me to it!

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Just WHY is the FBI so sure North Korea hacked Sony? NSA: *BLUSH*

Kane
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Happy

Re: The Real position

"...and getting his Gnome stomped on by a Tauren Warrior..."

HA! Unlikely, he probably rolled a goblin.

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Kane
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Black Helicopters

"...is a load of dingo's kidneys..."

That's fetid dingo's kidneys, I think you'll find.

"Quite why the Feds are going to such lengths to convince the doubting infosec community, drawing attention to a program to wiretap a hostile country's internet infrastructure, is a puzzle. Perhaps the program had been uncovered. If not, why is the US intel community disclosing source and methods just to bolster the credibility of its explanation for the Sony hack?"

<cough>False Flag</cough>

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: 1.5 MILLION SCOVILLE masala omelette

Kane
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Facepalm

Re: Sympathy...

"no amount of water quenching the flames"

Rookie mistake.

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PlayStation-processor-powered plutonium probe prepares Pluto pics

Kane
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Re: Wonder

But, once it gets there, we will see some serious shit.

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Peers warn against rushing 'enhanced' DATA SLURP powers through Parliament

Kane
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Alert

Re: Not getting my vote...

"Given the way politics are on both sides of the pond, I think it's more like: Heads, the people lose and tails, the people lose. The only winners are those to get more power and that's not the people who do the voting."

The only winners are those who hold the coin doing the flipping.

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Sony post-mortem: Obama lobbies for new legal powers to thwart hackers

Kane
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Re: Cheaper, faster broadband

"Next time, Sony... next time!"

Why did I just have a flashback to my youth watching Inspector Gadget?

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Comet Lovejoy's greenish glow visible with naked eye this weekend

Kane
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Alert

Re: So either...

Salt won't help you, you're better off cutting off the short stems they use to "knock" against the side of their stem.

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Saudi Arabia to flog man 1,000 times for insulting religion on Facebook

Kane
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Re: Yo, Prophet Mohammed...

Are you a philosopher? Where's your sponge?

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Car-crash IT: HUGE write-off for Universal Credit - PAC

Kane
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A dead, blind person with a dead guide dog could have seen this coming

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Mom and daughter SUE Comcast for 'smuggling' public Wi-Fi hotspot into their home

Kane
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Pint

Re: Hope they win.@raving angry loony

Yes, and then it was stored in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the Leopard'.

Beer icon, because there isn't any Tea.

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The internet is less free than last year. Thanks a bunch, Snowden

Kane
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Re: pepetideo clickbait at it's worse

"A consistently loss-making newspaper with a declining readership"

Isn't that most newspapers and print media though? I thought that teh intarwebs was rapidly eroding the readership and pound value of newspapers?

I'm sure I read that online somewhere...

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Kane
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Black Helicopters

Re: ECHELON

"They already have had the ability to snoop on electronic communications for ages."

I seem to remember many years ago (ok, it was only the late 90's) that Mark Thomas covered something about this with his little Hot Air Balloon Over Menwith Hill stunt. Whilst he was in the balloon, he pulled out his mobile phone and rang his mum and started saying (not entirely) random words along the lines of "bomb" and suchlike. At which point his mum asked if he was high. Which he sort of was at the time (hot air balloon, remember?)

The general thrust of the piece was the listening post that the NSA had built slap-bang in the middle of Menwith Hill, without any real public knowledge or oversight, how the facility could tap into 100,000 live phone conversations at the drop of a hat (my memory is a bit tarnished about the figures here...), but the one thing they had forgotten to do was apply to the local council for building permission, which meant that there was a tiny little legal loophole and the airspace directly above the listening post was effectively open (no flight restrictions). So he flew right through it. And made his MI5 file all the larger because of it.

I seem to remember at the time thinking "how can they get away with this; surely this can't be right, let alone legal?". Then the Snowden leaks came along, and the Menwith Hill episode was the first image that floated to the top of my memory. And I was proven wrong on both of those last counts, as there seems to be no moral or legal argument that can be used to stop this sort of behaviour.

Sorry, got to go, incoming choppers and all that...

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LIFE, JIM? Comet probot lander found 'ORGANICS' on far-off iceball

Kane
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Re: Secret mode?

↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

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Are MPs smarter than 5-year-olds? We'll soon find out at coding school – Berners-Lee

Kane
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Headmaster

Re: Weeell... sort of

I, too, worry that it will end up with aforementioned MP instructing their minion to open MS Word, type "Hello World" and then using File -> Save as -> HTML and thinking that's all there is to this interweb lark. If you're lucky, they may use the Insert picture from file option...

There, FTFY!

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DEATH fails to end mobile contract: Widow forced to take HUBBY's ASHES into shop

Kane
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FAIL

@Anon who didn't read the article...

You Sir, are what I like to call a Fotho. Fuckwit of the Highest Order.

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