* Posts by Big-nosed Pengie

934 posts • joined 3 Jul 2009

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KFC-scented sunscreen

Big-nosed Pengie

KFC has restaurants now???

1
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Australia Post says use blockchain for voting. Expert: you're kidding

Big-nosed Pengie
FAIL

Re: Australia Post's search for relevance ...

"C'mon AusPost ... you can do better than this!"

No they can't.

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Microsoft promises free terrible coffee every month you use Edge

Big-nosed Pengie

Starbucks and Microsoft - a match made in heaven.

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An anniversary to remember: The world's only air-to-air nuke was fired on 19 July, 1957

Big-nosed Pengie

Jubilant morons.

15
25

Starbucks bans XXX Wi-Fi

Big-nosed Pengie

"Food" chain McDonalds, but not "coffee" chain Starbucks?

Starbucks is to coffee as McDonalds is to food.

1
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Microsoft wins landmark Irish data slurp warrant case against the US

Big-nosed Pengie

Re: Common sense prevailed?

"ommon sense naw. Follow the money. If they don't rule for MS this will certain sector of the US economy , Sure you might not like them but this would of screwed over apple,google,Face book and just about every tech company that wants to do business in Europe."

Could we have an English translation, please?

8
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Microsoft's cringey 'Hey bae <3' recruiter email translated by El Reg

Big-nosed Pengie
Headmaster

"An after-party invite sent out to interns..."

"Invite" is a verb. The noun you're looking for is "invitation".

Or are you just trying to impress college age kids?

33
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Australian Information Industries Association*: you're not the future of democracy, so please shut up

Big-nosed Pengie

What could possibly go wrong? I'm sure Diebold would be more than happy to sell us one.

5
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Filet-O-Phish: Insecure NFC tag relics hidden under Maccas tables

Big-nosed Pengie

MacDonald's New Zealand and Australia restaurants?

They have restaurants now???

10
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Have a Cptn Cook: VXers learn 'Strayan to plunder Down Under

Big-nosed Pengie

I'm an Australian and I still don't know what "shirt-front" means.

0
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Telstra wants to become the Uber of Telstra

Big-nosed Pengie

Using Telstra is its own punishment.

0
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FBI's Tor pedo torpedoes torpedoed by United States judge

Big-nosed Pengie
Headmaster

What does the FBI have against foot fetishists?

Or did they mean paedophiles?

8
1

Microsoft will rest its jackboot on Windows 7, 8.1's throat on new Intel CPUs in 2018 – not 2017

Big-nosed Pengie

Re: "One solution is to boot a Linux USB stick ..."

"This is the kind of person that works in a basement..."

...running the supercomputer or the stock market or the Internet...

20
2

Surprise! That blood-pressure app doesn't measure blood pressure

Big-nosed Pengie

This one seems to qualify.

3
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Two-thirds of Android users vulnerable to web history sniff ransomware

Big-nosed Pengie

Re: I'll look forward to the fix

Next time get a Nexus. :-)

1
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Australia and America working on global no-state-hacking pact

Big-nosed Pengie
Mushroom

...says the twunt who's single-handedly destroyed Australia's chance at a modern Internet infrastructure and who's been an ardent supported of data retention laws.

9
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Tor launches invite-only exploit bug bounty

Big-nosed Pengie
Headmaster

"Invite" is a verb. The word you're looking for is "invitation".

You're welcome.

0
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Oklahoma bloke cuffed for Chrimbo caprine coupling

Big-nosed Pengie

Keyboard - you owe me a new one.

0
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Microsoft in 2016: Is there any point asking SatNad what's coming?

Big-nosed Pengie

"Possibly more noble intentions, but awful execution"

So - no change then.

Except noble intentions. That's new.

6
1
Big-nosed Pengie
Linux

MS have never failed to meet my expectations.

I've always expected it to be absolute shite, and it always has been.

15
6

'Showbiz hacker touted stolen celebs' X-rated vids, scripts, songs'

Big-nosed Pengie
Headmaster

Where did he find the stolen celebs?

4
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The Register's Australian technology headline predictions … for 2017!

Big-nosed Pengie

"Australia's left-of-centre Labor Party"

I'm not sure whether this is a story about a different Australia, a fictional Australia, or a prediction that by 2017 we'll have a left-of-centre Labor Party.

We certainly don't have one now.

3
1

Lenov-lol, a load of Tosh, and what the Dell? More bad holes found in PC makers' bloatware

Big-nosed Pengie

Procedure for my new Lenovo:

Take out of box;

plug in;

insert USB with Linux image;

press secret Novo button with paperclip;

disable UEFI;

reboot;

format HDD;

install Linux.

Problem solved.

16
2

Work on world's largest star-gazing 'scope stopped after religious protests

Big-nosed Pengie
Facepalm

You don't want to anger the volcano god.

3
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ACCC says Trans-Pacific Partnership's IP bits will hurt competition and consumers

Big-nosed Pengie

Gee - who'd o' thunk it?

Besides everyone I mean.

9
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Pause Patch Tuesday downloads, buggy code can kill Outlook

Big-nosed Pengie

For the first time they can honestly say that it's not a bug, it's a feature.

5
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Feeble Phobos flaking as it falls to Mars

Big-nosed Pengie

That's three spellings of the moon's name in one article. Would you care to try for four?

4
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Facebook's laser-powered internet drone preps for take off

Big-nosed Pengie

Clouds?

Could they be a problem?

1
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'I posted winning race ticket in Facebook selfie ... and someone stole it!'

Big-nosed Pengie

Re: Maybe it's for the best...

Isn't that what they call a masturbator?

0
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World's most frustrating televised Linux install just got more frustrating

Big-nosed Pengie
Headmaster

"Install" is a verb. The noun you're looking for is "installation". You're welcome. :-)

1
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Dev to Mozilla: Please dump ancient Windows install processes

Big-nosed Pengie
Headmaster

"Install" is a verb. The noun you're looking for is "installation". You're welcome. :-)

4
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Crypto cadre cloud-cracks SHA-1 with just $75k of compute cost

Big-nosed Pengie
Headmaster

"Compute" is a verb

You're welcome.

8
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Microsoft, the VW family sedan of IT, wants to be tech's new Rolls-Royce

Big-nosed Pengie

Rolls Royce?

Trabant would be more accurate.

3
2

Patching a fragmented, Stagefrightened Android isn't easy

Big-nosed Pengie

Re: Ha ha ha ha haah hah haaa

My Nexus 4 got the update yesterday.

0
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Australia to capture biometrics at the border under new law

Big-nosed Pengie

We-uns is jus' like Merka now!

0
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Right, suits off: Windows 10 preview Internet Explorer is here

Big-nosed Pengie

Re: biiig problem...

A classic case of stupidity being its own punishment.

0
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2015 Fiat 500 fashionista, complete with facelift

Big-nosed Pengie

Re: Leagues per hour?

But what's that in hogsheads per furlong?

1
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Australia gets its site filter at LAST

Big-nosed Pengie
Facepalm

The gods preserve us from this buffoon.

3
4

Windows 10 upgrade ADWARE forces its way on to Windows 7 and 8.1

Big-nosed Pengie

Re: I'm confused

"a Windows 8/8.1/10 install"

I suspect you mean installation.

13
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Electrons ride huge plasma tubes above Earth

Big-nosed Pengie
Thumb Up

What a brilliant young woman!

8
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Swordfish fatally stabs man after man stabs, fatally, swordfish

Big-nosed Pengie

Fish 1...

20
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Get off the phone!! Seven out of ten US drivers put theirs and your lives at risk

Big-nosed Pengie

Is the US the last country on the planet to ban hand-held mobes while driving?

1
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High-level, state-sponsored Naikon hackers exposed

Big-nosed Pengie

Re: an executable file with a double extension.

But surely they'd see the double extension and...oh...wait...Windows users.

But surely they wouldn't allow important systems to run unapproved exe files and...oh...wait...Windows users.

A pattern is starting to emerge.

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Sorry, Windows 10 early adopters: Microsoft Edge WON'T block ads at launch

Big-nosed Pengie

That would be "still".

1
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Choc Factory finds 84,000 ad injectors targeting Chrome

Big-nosed Pengie

How about allowing AdblockPlus for Chrome? Problem solved.

0
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Turnbull's Digital Transformation Office is actually working!

Big-nosed Pengie
Facepalm

iOS only? Seriously? So it could only reach - what - 15% of users?

This is the kind of brilliance that we've come to expect from Turnbull.

2
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This is Sparta? No - it's Microsoft Edge, Son of Internet Explorer

Big-nosed Pengie

Classic.

"Hey - this product we've got really stinks. People hate it."

"Well, we'd better fix it then."

"You mean make it work better?"

"Don't be stupid - we'll do what we've always done!"

"Ah. Change the name. Gotcha."

0
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Microsoft points at Skype, Lync: You two, in my office – right now

Big-nosed Pengie
Thumb Down

Re: Oh boy, probably continuing the ever-worse skype releases...

Skype turned to shite as soon as Microsoft got its grubby hands on it, and it's getting worse. Now it's just untrustworthy shite.

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Massive gravitational lens flare unveils EINSTEIN CROSS SUPERNOVA

Big-nosed Pengie
Headmaster

El Reg, you really need to find correspondents who have a basic command of English, or use a sub editor.

3
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Australia to get spooks charter at cost of at least AU$188m

Big-nosed Pengie

Australia has an opposition now?

Thank the gods. What are they called?

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