* Posts by lukewarmdog

547 posts • joined 3 Jul 2009

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What’s that Sooty? You want a girlfriend?

lukewarmdog

1. i do not know the term for a female Panda.

Fanda!

no.. me neither.

3
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Londoners react with horror to Tube Chat initiative

lukewarmdog

The Tube is your own personal hell (or heaven) and isn't there to be interrupted.

Unless you want it to be. Maybe you want a chat. Except nobody else wants to hear you chat what can only be complete rubbishy small talk. "Oh i see you have a badge, so do I, do you live in London? Me neither, on your way to work (in the morning) or home (in the evening), what do you do in work".

You're now interfering with my peace and quiet and as the Tube is fairly noisy, you're probably compensating by speaking loudly so now everyone in the carriage can hear you. This just isn't a great place to have a chat.

A "fancy a coffee" badge sponsored by Starbucks would be a better idea, a "Trafalgar Square at 4 o'clock chat" badge could be performance art, a "20% OAP discount at Sam's fish and chip shop between 12 and 2" could well drive custom if the old dears could read all that on a small badge.

To me "Tube chat" is like "Motorway chat".. the impracticality of it should have nixed this from the outset altho it has made for good reading of aggrieved travellers.

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Smartphone lost on QANTAS 'began hissing, emitting smoke and making orange glow'

lukewarmdog

Re: Is it just me

That's bad time management on the travellers part. And a rubbish excuse anyway, are you trying to claim nobody has ever fallen asleep on the rest of the plane?

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User couldn't open documents or turn on PC, still asked for reference as IT expert

lukewarmdog

Re: Is it on?

Same thing with the head of IT at a local school. Thing is, when teaching effectively is just reading the GCSE teachers book out aloud, all you need to be able to do is get the kids to follow simple instructions and type stuff. Usually in Word. There's no actual IT going on and she hadn't actually taken IT at uni. It's not her fault she got the job but I just can't see why she applied or was appointed.

I got a fairly angry call to come see why her PC wasn't working first thing one Friday morning, probably before her coffee, so asking her was it plugged in and switched on was definitely not what she wanted me to say.

"Of course it is, do you think I'm stupid?"

So there's some question you never answer honestly, right?

So off I go, when I got there and "fixed" it, she was in the room and asked me what I'd done, I pointed out I'd just plugged it in at the mains. At which point she blamed the cleaner for unplugging it.

Really gotta hope she had coffee before "teaching" the kids later.

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Elon Musk: I'm gonna turn Mars into a $10bn death-dealing interplanetary gas station

lukewarmdog

about being mad

So we have pioneering explorers who set out to climb Everest or find America (not that it was lost) and some died at sea and we don't know anything about them but some found.. stuff and lived. So those are the odds we're comparing here, just so I'm clear? The commentators here who want to go to Mars think going there is like finding America (still wasn't lost) which is on Earth which we already live in and can breathe the air on and walk around in and build stuff with stuff we find lying around.That's like going to Mars?

I don't think so.

And those who think that going would be heroic.. no you'd be like those people who died on the way to America who we don't know about. Except with the added bonus of Martian atmosphere, space travel, radiation poisoning and everything else.

I'd love there to be a visitable colony on another planet. And sure, start with Mars if you must with the better goal of finding Earth 2. Which begs the question why land at all? Why not take the Battlestar Galactica approach and build ships we can live on rather than colonising a completely inhospitable planet? I'd sign up for space station duty before Mars duty.

There was also a comment about curiosity being mankinds second greatest blessing. How far did that get Curie? It would imho be more sensible to send prison inmates to mars and see what happens. If they survive we can just humanely dispose of them later and then take over. Why send the scientists first? We still need those guys.Curiosity needs blending with various other human characteristics before it's safe to act on.

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UK Science Museum will reconsider its 'sexist' brain quiz

lukewarmdog

http://explosm.net/comics/95/

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lukewarmdog
Facepalm

Surely the point is that the "fun game" is just stupid. Stupid doesn't really belong in something purporting to be a museum of science. If they actually wanted to know what colour your brain was in a educational scientific setting then a tour guide trained in trepanning should be provided. The education starts with the fact that trepanning is the oldest known surgical procedure. After that a simple torch in the hole and compare to a standard colour chart and bob's your uncle.

A warning should also be added if an air of tongue-in-cheekness is required, "may release demons" as this seems to have been a common usage of this procedure. I say tongue-in-cheek as everyone knows demons don't live in the brain, they prefer the stomach.

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The Internet of Things isn't just for Bluetooth toothbrushes, y'know

lukewarmdog

I hooked up a bunch of cans of grapefruit flavoured pop that my mate loves and now he has an Internet of Tings

6
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UK oversight body tipped to examine phone snooping tech in prisons

lukewarmdog

Those aren't the accounts I hear of, all the ones I hear of are where the phone is used to manage the drug trade. If they could solve the drug problem, there'd be a lot less need for prisons.

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lukewarmdog
Holmes

"If you're in the wrong place at the wrong time, anyone's mobile phone, email and text communications can be intercepted.”

They're in prison.. they are already all those things..

4
12

Ad flog Plus: Adblock Plus now an advertising network, takes cash to broker web banners

lukewarmdog

My local online newspaper has started putting up a massive footer to tell me I'm browsing them from behind an ad-blocker.

http://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/

"Did you know that advertising supports local journalism and promotes local businesses? Find out how to turn off your ad blocker."

Me not clicking on adverts supports local journalism? Pretty sure the first law of thermodynamics paraphrases to "you can't make something from nothing".

0
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Evernote dumps its own bit barn, boards Google's cloud

lukewarmdog

I'd be surprised if anyone thinks this is a good idea, "we're storing your data in Google" sounds like you've been assimilated into a Borg collective.

5
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French hackers selling hidden .22 calibre pen guns on secret forums

lukewarmdog

Selling things on the Internet isn't hacking, otherwise everyone on ebay, amazon etc is in big big trouble.

6
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Gutted: 6.6M cleartext creds, dox, breached in ClixSense site hack

lukewarmdog

"It has taught us that regardless of what you do to stay secure, it still may not be enough."

An old server they weren't using still attached to the database?

Nobody thought to unplug it?

I'd suggest they weren't doing anything to "stay" secure which is definitely nowhere near enough..

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Israeli Pentagon DDoSers explain their work, get busted by FBI

lukewarmdog

I love that they are identified as "masterminds" at the start of Kreb's article.

Clearly anything but..

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Nvidia: Eight bits ought to be enough for anybody ... doing AI

lukewarmdog

Re: 8 bit sound

But would you want your AI to sound like that?

If it doesn't sound like Pierce Brosnan's Ultrahouse 3000, I'm not talking to it.

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End all the 'up to' broadband speed bull. Release proper data – LGA

lukewarmdog

I particularly like hair colouring products. "Covers up to 100% of your grey". Well.. obviously.. I mean even if you missed your head completely whilst applying it, the statement would still stand.

Most people who tried it, loved it and would buy it and recommend it to a friend and they'd recommend it to their friends it's that awesome!" And in the small print it says according to a survey of 11 people. There just isn't small print small enough to make that kind of claim and keep a straight face.

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1

Read the damning dossier on the security stupidity that let China ransack OPM's systems

lukewarmdog

"increasing the amount it pays security staff, so that it can get the best talent"

Surely firing all the current staff first however as they've proven to be incredibly incompetent.

Also find it a bit weird that the NSA merely warns you that you are riddled with malware. I'd have thought maybe they'd have popped round for a chat, turned your servers off and purged them. Unless it was somehow in their best interest to allow a massive hack like this to take place of course..

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Intel Basis fans burned again: Refund checks for scalding smartwatches bounce

lukewarmdog

checks and cheques

Please note they are different things, can't just use one in the headline and a different one in the article.

I'd assume most people paid for their tech on a debit or credit card in which case refunds should be done via the same method.

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A nice long pub crawl is good for your health, if you stay on your feet

lukewarmdog
Pint

Drink healthy and in moderation

I always ask for a healthy pint when I'm out drinking. A healthy Staropramen, a healthy Estrella, maybe a healthy Mahou. Combine that with a health walk to the pub at dinner and I'm probably going to live forever I reckon.

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UK will be 'cut off' from 'full intelligence picture' after Brexit – Europol strategy man

lukewarmdog

Yawn, someone else talking on behalf of Europe, scaremongering no better than Farage. Can't pick which pile of bollocks you want to believe when it comes to Brexit, it's all bollocks.

Plus.. I'd put money on the fact that data mostly goes from the UK to help the EU and the EU would lose out way more in this situation.

But.. on a positive note.. maybe all the illegal data slurping and monitoring will come to a stop. No? Then this mans posturing doesn't really mean much, right?

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Brave idea: Ex Mozilla man punts Bitcoin adblocking browser

lukewarmdog

Doesn't it rather depend on the site being able to accept donations?

I could install Brave and surf somewhere and want to give them money but actually not be able to because they rely on ads for their income and don't need the extra hassle of setting up a bank account capable of accepting bitcoin and having to audit and manage tax around this new method.

In the meantime I'd have bought a bitcoin worth £4,000 for nothing.

Wait.. £3,995

Wait.. £3,990

Wait.. some anonymous hacker has stolen my bitcoin!!

thanks a lot Brave,,

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HSBC: How will we verify business banking customers? Selfies!

lukewarmdog

I see a flaw

You are asked to verify one piece of likeness with another one that you provide.

So if you upload your passport or driving licence with a doctored photo you could probably open a bank account with your dick.

As for proof of life.. there would be some satisfaction (maybe a lot if you do it right) in waving your dick at your banks login screen.

0
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'Hey, Elon? You broke it, you bought it' says owner of SpaceX's satellite cinder

lukewarmdog

Free Flight

Why the hell would you ask for a ride on the very thing that just blew up your satellite?

Unless the business just took out massive life insurance policies on the bosses and is hoping for a repeat performance..

4
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Extra Bacon? Yes please, even though the Cisco bug of this name is bad for you

lukewarmdog

Re: Sysadmins and tinfoil hats

You don't trust someone to patch your router unless they have Facebook?

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Israel's security minister suckers Zucker for Facebook'ed killings

lukewarmdog

If they're really so bothered.. Ban Facebook. Invent their own monitored replacement like China.

Otherwise just blowing hot air.

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SETI Institute damps down 'wow!' signal report from Russia

lukewarmdog

"signals from stars"

Ah, the Streisand effect then.

Maybe that four seconds was her next album being transmitted to her.

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Watch the world's biggest 'flying bum' go arse over tit in a crash

lukewarmdog
Joke

I hope, back in the hangar, someone asks "does my bum look big in this".

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Paper mountain, hidden Brexit: How'd you say immigration control would work?

lukewarmdog

The problem of free trade and free movement need separating. Not everything once enshrined should remain. Seems to me that would solve a large part of the problem. It might take the Eurozone to disintegrate before they allow something like this but there's a decent chance that will happen.

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Kaspersky launches its own OS on Russian routers

lukewarmdog
Joke

Really hoping it's cutting edge, having read that you can tell what a hard drive is doing just by listening to the drive noise, I really hope they've got a fake noise generator in there, when you translate what you think it's doing, it's just playing "cant' touch this".

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EU ministers look to tighten up privacy – JUST KIDDING – surveillance laws

lukewarmdog
Holmes

"Patrick Calvar, French homeland security chief, told the FT that gigabytes of data were collected after November’s Paris attack but “it is often encrypted, and impossible to decipher”."

So AFTER the attack the police sucked up gigs of data. And we're all ok with that, right. That's how you prevent things, by looking at the aftermath. Gigs of data they by and large know are completely irrelevant - thousands of "omg what just happened, are you safe" tweets from people in the surrounding areas and "did you just see that latest cat video I posted lol" from the rest of the world who haven't seen the news yet. Even if all of that wasn't encrypted it would still be lolcat data collected after the fact. Only now we'd have to pay someone to read it all.

I am not sure these guys are doing it right.

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Vodafone bins line rental charges as it moves onto TalkTalk's turf

lukewarmdog

Expert?

"Ewan is the newest addition to the uSwitch team, and is a whiz-kid analyst able to demystify the communications market with his encyclopedic knowledge of tariffs, price plans and all the latest handsets."

How does he qualify as a broadband expert? He has some price plans on his computer that he can easily compare.

“Compared to other fibre deals on the market, Unlimited Fibre Broadband 38 is competitive,"

And this is the summary of an expert in the field of broadband? A sentence that says pretty much nothing but takes up a whole line of an article.

And Vodafone, a pat on the back, really? Pointy sticks in orifices would be more appropriate.

Aiming to be slightly better than Talk Talk is a really low bar.

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$67M in bitcoin stolen as hacking typhoon lashes Hong Kong's Bitfinex

lukewarmdog

Re: Misconceptions...

XBT can be used to buy.. computers and drugs. I believe that's what we've expanded it to now. "and anything any merchant who accepts bitcoin sells" - yep to be sure. Can say the same about eggs. If I could pay my rent in eggs, I'd for sure be buying some chickens.

If it's so wonderful, why hasn't a bank bought into it?

If I live in the UK and get paid in USD, I will be paid into a bank account, the bank can convert it to local currency, update my debit card and I can buy food.

I'm still not seeing why I'd want bitcoin myself.

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lukewarmdog

Trust

But you could do all of the legitimate things BitCoin can do in a first world country using actual money.

Bank fraud is backed by your banks fraud teams and repayment insurance, bitcoin is not.

You generally earn money from working and your employer transfers that money from secure location to secondary secure location and you get paid on pay day. Bitcoin is generated by computers doing nothing else useful and massive bitcoin exchanges fairly regularly disappear overnight.

There's only two scenarios I'd buy bitcoin at the moment - if I wanted something illegal or to facilitate trade somewhere where money was worth less than the buying power of bitcoin such as Argentina. Even then it's only that way for a subset of people but say there's a guy who can fix my servers remotely but can't buy a playstation locally. I pay him in bitcoin, he orders a playstation online.

Bitcoin imho needs to become less susceptible to theft and to find a way to return stolen money before I could start to take it seriously enough to want to get involved in.

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Post-Brexit spending freeze in UK is real, says enterprise distie titan

lukewarmdog

oh dear

Six billion dollar company complains about a 40 million delayed payment.

Why is this news?

Oh wait.. blames Brexit.

Interesting to finally get a tech angle on this meme.

In other news Sainsburys said they're actually making more money since the Brexit vote.

Arrows and oranges.

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3

Iceland beats England again

lukewarmdog

Poor Nigeria

A shiny set of new datacentres would really help them, for a small fee, get their frozen assets out of the country. Someone should act now to get 10% plus a 5% bonus from all the additional 419 letters that would be sent out if they had more datacentres.

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HPE CEO Meg Whitman endorses Hillary Clinton, dumps on Trump

lukewarmdog

not an american

But I'd pick anyone over Trump. I know you're supposed to vote on policies but as very few ever come to fruition I'd have to base any vote I made on not putting this media friendly madman into power. Expecting him to announce Kanye West as a running mate next week.

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BlackBerry chief: We don't have to make phones to make phones

lukewarmdog

He could also not do a press conference or make any comments.

Just do them in his head and save us all the hassle of having to listen to him.

Because that would be as good as having a press conference or making comments by his own logic.

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What keeps former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani awake at night?

lukewarmdog

The only way anything to do with blackberry is keeping him awake at night is if he hasn't figured out how to turn off one of those repeating alarms he set 15 years ago.

The only way a mad guy in charge of a nuclear powered country is keeping him awake is if he hasn't paid any attention to US politics in the last 100 years. He was nominated by Reagan. Does it get any madder than that?

I suspect he sleeps really pretty well, in a real nice bed each night and reads the same papers as the rest of us the next morning. Then gets briefed by aides on what to say about gun control and stuff.

He has some kind of medal from Margaret Thatcher. Anyone who can sleep with one of those.. well I guess different things keep different people awake and it is a real comfy bed. But hey.. he said his bit and now.. to the chopper! Bed awaits.

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Blighty's Coastguard goes into battle against waterborne Pokemon

lukewarmdog

Presumably

"Presumably both Pokemon and youths escaped safely."

What? You can't presume or assume that.. maybe I've just re-read American Gods far too recently but what if some massive lake monster got them?

We accept cartoon beasts that you can apparently keep in a ball and fight with other beasts in a ball so we don't need to dredge the lake for bodies?

World is a messed up place.

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Drone bloke cuffed after gizmo stops firemen tackling forest inferno

lukewarmdog

so reading through the comments

Drones are dangerous because they can down airplanes and helicopters.

You could shoot the drones down but they are very hard to hit.

Can't have your cake and eat it.

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Brit Science Minister to probe Brexit bias against UK-based scientists

lukewarmdog

Might be reading a different article but

If you have non-anecdotal evidence of brexit discrimination against science funding, there is someone you can tell who can look at the legality of it. We can now knock off the "brexit totally screwed science funding, like I said it would" nonsense now. Secret report by the Russell group? Oh please.

As for future projects and divorce.. No. U.K. Universities it might shock you to hear attract Italians and Germans and Chinese scientists at the highest levels to world class facilities that don't exist in their own countries. U.K. Unis run globally respected research and Brexit doesn't nullify that, people still want to fund and do research here so it will carry on. Nation states and global multinationals do their due diligence and continue research in Oxford Edinburgh Manchester Bath - wherever the cutting edge research is coming out of.

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SCADA malware caught infecting European energy company

lukewarmdog

Re: wow

Your buddy is going to listen to old vinyl records?

Oh I see.. you can then use them as frisbees to kill zombies like in Shaun of the Dead.

I was watching an in-game chat yesterday which started off all bravado, who had how many guns and whose farm was bigger. It finally descended into who would eat the worst foods. One guy would shoot deer to survive, someone else said good luck when you run out of deer, they'd shoot dogs. Dogs, scoffed another, when I was on wilderness camp we would survive on squirrels and frogs. Oh sure, said the next guy, I've heard humans fed on a diet of frogs taste the best.

I'm kinda hoping we run out of power at some point so I just don't have to play with those guys any more.

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Linus Torvalds in sweary rant about punctuation in kernel comments

lukewarmdog
Devil

Job Security through comments

/ this is to keep the website compatible with IE8

/required for "Java VM 1.05b (overnight beta build)"

/this will resolve itself in the future. If you are reading this in the future, delete this code block

Now we play the waiting game. Whoever replaces me will 100% remove my code snippets and everything will stop working. A plan so cunning Dan Brown is probably writing a book around it now.

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Drowning Dalek commands Siri in voice-rec hack attack

lukewarmdog
Coat

The end of everything

This will totally jeopardize my plan to have a robot butler if it's going to be eating the TV every time Bart mentions his shorts or Bender mentions his shiny ass. Both those things obviously preferable to it killing all humans obviously.

Coat.. I'll be getting my own, the one with no robots in the pockets.

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White hat banned for revealing vulns in news sites used by London councillors

lukewarmdog

"Our sites have been operating for over a decade without an major issue with security"

Ah yes.. the old "well it's never happened in the past so it can't possibly happen in the future" excuse.

Right up there with the old "well I've never left a USB stick full of sensitive data in a taxi before" excuse.

I very much suspect from the comments that Mr Tierney could just log in and unban himself..

2
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Teen faces trial for telling suicidal boyfriend to kill himself via text

lukewarmdog

Theatre Fire

But what if you just phoned / texted / emailed someone in the theatre to say there was a fire and thus caused a stampede? According to current laws it seems there is a difference between being there and saying in in person and doing it remotely.

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Facebook ‘glitch’ that deleted the Philando Castile shooting vid: It was the police – sources

lukewarmdog

+1 for live streaming / storage

Never thought I'd see a situation where I felt live streaming from my phone was going to be important. This changes my way of thinking completely.

Also incredibly unsurprised by the sniper attack. So many people with an axe to grind against the police it's hardly surprising someone has taken the opportunity. Doesn't make it right, just another depressing aspect of gun ownership.

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Parliament is building a new website – and it doesn't want GDS anywhere near it

lukewarmdog

Totally misread it

Thought they were trying to keep away from GPS so nobody could guy Fawkes it again.

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A month to save digital currency Ethereum?

lukewarmdog

Not real money

It's not real and someone stole it but we could revert that theft. Now there's something I could get behind, after stories of untraceable Bitcoin thefts this seems an improvement.

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