* Posts by lukewarmdog

510 posts • joined 3 Jul 2009

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BlackBerry chief: We don't have to make phones to make phones

lukewarmdog

He could also not do a press conference or make any comments.

Just do them in his head and save us all the hassle of having to listen to him.

Because that would be as good as having a press conference or making comments by his own logic.

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What keeps former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani awake at night?

lukewarmdog

The only way anything to do with blackberry is keeping him awake at night is if he hasn't figured out how to turn off one of those repeating alarms he set 15 years ago.

The only way a mad guy in charge of a nuclear powered country is keeping him awake is if he hasn't paid any attention to US politics in the last 100 years. He was nominated by Reagan. Does it get any madder than that?

I suspect he sleeps really pretty well, in a real nice bed each night and reads the same papers as the rest of us the next morning. Then gets briefed by aides on what to say about gun control and stuff.

He has some kind of medal from Margaret Thatcher. Anyone who can sleep with one of those.. well I guess different things keep different people awake and it is a real comfy bed. But hey.. he said his bit and now.. to the chopper! Bed awaits.

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Blighty's Coastguard goes into battle against waterborne Pokemon

lukewarmdog

Presumably

"Presumably both Pokemon and youths escaped safely."

What? You can't presume or assume that.. maybe I've just re-read American Gods far too recently but what if some massive lake monster got them?

We accept cartoon beasts that you can apparently keep in a ball and fight with other beasts in a ball so we don't need to dredge the lake for bodies?

World is a messed up place.

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Drone bloke cuffed after gizmo stops firemen tackling forest inferno

lukewarmdog

so reading through the comments

Drones are dangerous because they can down airplanes and helicopters.

You could shoot the drones down but they are very hard to hit.

Can't have your cake and eat it.

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Brit Science Minister to probe Brexit bias against UK-based scientists

lukewarmdog

Might be reading a different article but

If you have non-anecdotal evidence of brexit discrimination against science funding, there is someone you can tell who can look at the legality of it. We can now knock off the "brexit totally screwed science funding, like I said it would" nonsense now. Secret report by the Russell group? Oh please.

As for future projects and divorce.. No. U.K. Universities it might shock you to hear attract Italians and Germans and Chinese scientists at the highest levels to world class facilities that don't exist in their own countries. U.K. Unis run globally respected research and Brexit doesn't nullify that, people still want to fund and do research here so it will carry on. Nation states and global multinationals do their due diligence and continue research in Oxford Edinburgh Manchester Bath - wherever the cutting edge research is coming out of.

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SCADA malware caught infecting European energy company

lukewarmdog

Re: wow

Your buddy is going to listen to old vinyl records?

Oh I see.. you can then use them as frisbees to kill zombies like in Shaun of the Dead.

I was watching an in-game chat yesterday which started off all bravado, who had how many guns and whose farm was bigger. It finally descended into who would eat the worst foods. One guy would shoot deer to survive, someone else said good luck when you run out of deer, they'd shoot dogs. Dogs, scoffed another, when I was on wilderness camp we would survive on squirrels and frogs. Oh sure, said the next guy, I've heard humans fed on a diet of frogs taste the best.

I'm kinda hoping we run out of power at some point so I just don't have to play with those guys any more.

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Linus Torvalds in sweary rant about punctuation in kernel comments

lukewarmdog
Devil

Job Security through comments

/ this is to keep the website compatible with IE8

/required for "Java VM 1.05b (overnight beta build)"

/this will resolve itself in the future. If you are reading this in the future, delete this code block

Now we play the waiting game. Whoever replaces me will 100% remove my code snippets and everything will stop working. A plan so cunning Dan Brown is probably writing a book around it now.

1
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Drowning Dalek commands Siri in voice-rec hack attack

lukewarmdog
Coat

The end of everything

This will totally jeopardize my plan to have a robot butler if it's going to be eating the TV every time Bart mentions his shorts or Bender mentions his shiny ass. Both those things obviously preferable to it killing all humans obviously.

Coat.. I'll be getting my own, the one with no robots in the pockets.

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White hat banned for revealing vulns in news sites used by London councillors

lukewarmdog

"Our sites have been operating for over a decade without an major issue with security"

Ah yes.. the old "well it's never happened in the past so it can't possibly happen in the future" excuse.

Right up there with the old "well I've never left a USB stick full of sensitive data in a taxi before" excuse.

I very much suspect from the comments that Mr Tierney could just log in and unban himself..

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Teen faces trial for telling suicidal boyfriend to kill himself via text

lukewarmdog

Theatre Fire

But what if you just phoned / texted / emailed someone in the theatre to say there was a fire and thus caused a stampede? According to current laws it seems there is a difference between being there and saying in in person and doing it remotely.

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Facebook ‘glitch’ that deleted the Philando Castile shooting vid: It was the police – sources

lukewarmdog

+1 for live streaming / storage

Never thought I'd see a situation where I felt live streaming from my phone was going to be important. This changes my way of thinking completely.

Also incredibly unsurprised by the sniper attack. So many people with an axe to grind against the police it's hardly surprising someone has taken the opportunity. Doesn't make it right, just another depressing aspect of gun ownership.

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Parliament is building a new website – and it doesn't want GDS anywhere near it

lukewarmdog

Totally misread it

Thought they were trying to keep away from GPS so nobody could guy Fawkes it again.

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A month to save digital currency Ethereum?

lukewarmdog

Not real money

It's not real and someone stole it but we could revert that theft. Now there's something I could get behind, after stories of untraceable Bitcoin thefts this seems an improvement.

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Boffins decipher manual for 2,000-year-old Ancient Greek computer

lukewarmdog

sabotage

On a state sponsored industrial scale no less.

Having worked up a method to prove, once and for all, that the world rotated around the Sun with Greece as it's central point and having further detailed the theory on the front of the device so that both theory and practice could be observed taking place at the same time, Euroipedes took his device out to sea to a suitable distance to show that the Greek sphere of influence was not affecting the working of the device as had been suggested by certain Roman colleagues. Upon finding out that he was absolutely correct the legionnaire from the Centre for the Furtherance of Roman Interests who was there to observe the experiment, accidentally threw the device and the operator overboard. The Centre has apologized for the accident which occurred when the legionnaire became overexcited and rushed to give Euroipedes a congratulatory back slap. It has now recalled its observer and has declined to help attempt retrieve either the object or its creator due to the sea being unfortunately incredibly deep at the spot they picked for the experiment to take place.

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Lester Haines: RIP

lukewarmdog

oh man :(

This was a depressing thing to log into on a currently raining like crap Friday at a workplace that is being outsourced to the Cognizant monster. It would not be wrong to say sod it and go to the pub for a pint would it? I appreciate it's 10 am but if it's not wrong for pubs to serve beer, it can't be wrong for me to drink it. Right? Right.

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Would we want to regenerate brains of patients who are clinically dead?

lukewarmdog
Happy

Well

I, for one, am all for welcoming our recently undeceased overlords.

I can see a massive practical use for this actually. If we allow that our brains are much better then computers of a similar size but that as humans we don't really appreciate being hooked into large arrays and asked to perform long calculations..

Well if you die and the bit that would protesteth isn't restored, that does give science a ready supply of self-supporting brains for a not-necessarily-but-most-probably-evil neural network. Or.. a cheaper way of cracking that pesky iPhone if you'd prefer to look at it that way.

And of course this is the first step towards Futurama's heads in jars. Who wouldn't want that?

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Want a Brexit? Promise you'll sort out UK universities' £1bn research cash loss

lukewarmdog

Well..

Won't somebody think of all the unemployed scientists and engineers, forced to clean the empty universities using unwanted yet super advanced chemicals and those not-hoover things everyone now has. Also all that non-self cutting grass that surrounds universities will need keeping in check. Maybe ex-student farmers can manually start growing crops on the abandoned sports fields.

Leaving the EU might affect some of the paperwork and channels but this isn't going to affect universities bringing in money. Businesses the other side of the EU paywall will still want to reap the rewards of research done in this country after we leave.

Will we have to stop using CERN? Will the internet stop at Ireland? Will we finally be able to sell arms to Iraq? Will we able to prevent Cameron getting back into Britain next time he goes on holiday during a crisis?

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Uber driver 'pulls handgun' on passenger

lukewarmdog
Windows

Re: Interesting

@kumar12 I don't know. Is it "all of them"? Or maybe "none of them"? Something in-between? Can you repeat the question?

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Holy sh*t week forces Twitter top brass to go on ‘retreat’

lukewarmdog
Megaphone

Ads

The problem isn't Twitter, you either use it or you don't. It's not offensive like Facebook and to my mind anyway does have real world valuable application.

Again imho, the problem is the ad supported model for anything. I've never bought due to an ad, I don't click them, I go out of my way to block them. You need something else not cleverer ways to show better (in some undefined way) ads. They should trial a sub model to see what happens because an money haemorrhaging ad supported model that doesn't shows ads to its most valuable customers clearly doesn't understand what valuable or customer means.

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El Reg picked a pack of ace pic-titlers

lukewarmdog
Happy

emily wondered

how long she had to leave her hands in the air like she just didn't care before the 90s would call and ask for their thing back.

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Hello Barbie controversy re-ignited with insecurity claims

lukewarmdog

why hack..

As a criminal mastermind I wouldn't waste my money hiring a decent hacker to provide a MITM attack. I'd just steal the doll and replace it with one of my own, already pre-configured to ask the child to let me charge up via daddys computer "Because I'm feeling a bit tired".

Wouldn't be surprised if this has already been done.

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IT bloke: Crooks stole my bikes after cycling app blabbed my address

lukewarmdog
Unhappy

Not his fault

I think what we're all missing here is this important line:

"The following morning my garage had been cleverly broken into and they were gone."

It wasn't stupidly broken into, it was cleverly broken into, he probably didn't stand a chance.

As far as insurance goes, when you have a phone stolen at a pub, the police will ask if you had it in sight at all times, did you put it down on a table, did you wave it round the pub. Same here, the insurers will start asking "did you advertise it in an app" and refuse to pay up.

I suspect that you cycle round on your £1k bike but that all the work is being done on your phone or watch. Surely a better solution would be to have the bike be connected, that way when it's stolen, like your phone, you can remotely track it and / or disable it. It would be hard to remotely kill your phone and also the thief as phones are rather small devices and it's probably not a good idea to fill them with nitro-glycerine but a bike frame would surely be a different matter. I'm just saying.

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Rdio's collapse another nail in the coffin of the 'digital economy'

lukewarmdog
Megaphone

Home Taping

I've been home taping Justin Bieber for months now and he's still bloody alive.

I want a refund.

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Linux kernel dev who asked Linus Torvalds to stop verbal abuse quits over verbal abuse

lukewarmdog
Mushroom

all moot

I wouldn't work somewhere where people were abusive to me about my work. Not even if they paid me. On my way out I'd drag HR and the lawyers in to it.

To assume someone should accept that in a voluntary position is just fooling yourself that they'll stay.

And to anyone saying she is being a bit thin-skinned, it really doesn't matter, the law matters and when it catches up, which it will, she'll be a thin skinned volunteer with the law on her side. She walked away, she isn't the one to worry about. The one to worry about is the person who is collecting a dossier of all those abusive emails with an eye on suing you and taking your business off you when the law does catch up.

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GCHQ's SMURF ARMY can hack smartphones, says Snowden. Again.

lukewarmdog
Devil

pre-hacked phones

So you've identified some people of interest, got access to their phones, added some monitoring software.. whilst you're there why not add a small syringe of anthrax that you can remotely activate through the earpiece when you hear keywords: poisonberry Smurf. Or a small surgical saw activated at pocket level: Chainsaw Smurf. Or a tiny packet of C4.. Clouseau Smurf.

*fictional militant smurfs

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Australian boffins say Quantum Pentiums are on the horizon

lukewarmdog
Windows

techniques

built "using techniques very similar to those used to manufacture whatever device you're using to read this story"

good grief, I certainly hope not, I'm reading this on an Apple device and if the NSW guys have been treating their construction bods the same way Foxconn do, 1/10th of them have certainly killed themselves by now..

Also I'd like to add that if you record all the electrons as being zero at the same time, your quantum computer might be switched off.

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As McAfee runs for US President – we ask a crucial question: Will Reg readers back him?

lukewarmdog

Go West

If I could vote, I'd vote Kanye.

I'd be happy if Mcafee wanted to take it to a sudden death elimination round however.

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Heigh ho, oh no! Politically correct panto dumps Snow White’s dwarfs

lukewarmdog
Joke

Won't someone think of the children

When your options are already highly paid professional actors or children who are probably in need of a bit of pocket money.. it's a small price to pay.

Plus it's theatre, who doesn't prefer longer intervals to short breaks.

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Anonymous UK 'leader' fined for revealing ID of rape complainant

lukewarmdog

wait..

I thought I was the leader of Anonymous..

How does he prove that? By putting on a mask? And people go "ooo you're the guy in the mask"

I'm so confused by all of this.

According to Wiki (which we all believe implicitly obviously)

"Because Anonymous has no leadership, no action can be attributed to the membership as a whole."

So if he IS the leader, why isn't he in court on behalf of all the illegal Anonymous and sub-groups actions?

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Almost all dot-science malicious, dot-cricket rigged, researchers find

lukewarmdog

.kim

sadly there is a "kanye.kim"

"mynameis.kim" has expired

there isn't an "everyonehates.kim".. missed opportunity

"northkorealoves.kim" would be excellent propaganda

the reason for making the .kim domain seems to be "there are a lot of people called kim so um.. that's a good enough reason"

With reasoning like that there should be way more ridiculous domains out there

none of which I'm going to suggest here as I want to keep .deadbaby to myself.

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Croc country cops' mobile facial matching a festival party pop

lukewarmdog

potential criminals?

"The law will identify potential criminals"

surely "the law" should be identifying actual criminals

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Boffins learn to send boredom-beating suggestions to smartphone-fondlers

lukewarmdog
Big Brother

if you are x, look at this y..

If they could detect when you were lost and late for a meeting (number of times mapping client checked, number of times calendar checked, number of times the time app has been checked) they could reccomend you blow off that date / interview and offer you cheap cinema tickets. Or hot singles near you. Or a CV site. Or all three.. why the hell not.

This research isn't exactly new however, I've seen it a lot in online games.

Player 1 asks another player "u mad, bro?" repeatedly

At the point that player 2 ragequits, that's when he scores a 5 on the u mad, bro? scale.

If only there was a serious application for this. Like.. number of times a user checks depression sites, looks up gun shops, gets directed to suicide help line and law enforcement honeypot sites.

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Canned laughter for Canadians selling cans of air at $15 a pop

lukewarmdog
Coffee/keyboard

hats off to them

As for the safety dance, I always felt it would be safer if they'd been men with hats.

Has nobody thought of the premium air market? Much like the premium water market where Perrier vies with Evian, graded air from specific parts of the world could be used to clean keyboards and computer equipment better than other types of air. "Collected by the abbots at one of Frances oldest sources of air" for instance.

1
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Prepare to be Thunderstruck: What if 'deuszu' ISN'T the Ashley Madison hacker?

lukewarmdog
Megaphone

Understanding

"starting from a point of understanding the primary cultures helps."

Starting from a point of understanding the first post would help me, I feel.

So far I have:

Anonymous is like cake. Some of it is eggs, some of it is flour.

You can't make cake without breaking eggs.

Sometimes cake is beetroot, sometimes carrot, but. always. cake.

Time for dinner I feel.

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HTC caught storing fingerprints AS WORLD-READABLE CLEARTEXT

lukewarmdog

bank on it

If it can be broken, somebody will.

Admittedly you shouldn't make it easy for them.. but remember the days when your phone was just a phone? Not really sure why it had to become the single place you keep all your data any more than why your car keys didn't become the same thing.

I don't use my fingerprint on my phone to activate recognition so I can log onto my bank, touchID does log me in (most of the time) to the phone but then I go online and enter a ton of details. If you stole my fingerprint I'm not really sure what good it would do you in my case.

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Perhaps middle-aged blokes SHOULDN'T try 34-hour-long road trips

lukewarmdog

won't someone think of the robots

Surely the boffin who makes the robots just needs to give them the relevant desires and they WILL want to get their nails done. If they don't have fingers, they will absolutely be jealous of the go faster stripes on their neighbors. Give them internet connectivity and they can compare robot tats with counterparts around the world, choose body mods from an online catalog and contact the people they put out of manual work to come paint those designs on them.

My auto-shop will happily give kickbacks to any boffin who implements this.

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It's incredibly easy to bump someone off online, and here's how to do it – infosec bod

lukewarmdog

Not just illegal scams..

There's a whole bunch of people in America who don't want to be found, don't care about lack of genuine passport details and don't need no credit cards to pick up extra guns for their government-hating compounds. If they were also dead, they'd be completely off the radar. That would be worrying, I'd imagine, for the people paid to keep an eye on them.

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Carphone Warehouse coughs to MONSTER data breach – 2.4 MEELLION Brits at risk

lukewarmdog

Sophisticated

Is there a graph somewhere I don't know about which shows how good an attack was versus how good the security on a site was?

Or a sliding scale maybe starting off with brute force on the left with 0 day attacks on the right?

I have no idea how they get actually measured. Is there not an el reg measuring tool? Like half an opm based purely on the numbers used and the probability of it being a nation state sponsored attack?

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Crackpot hackpots pop top of GasPots

lukewarmdog

Re: Is the prison-industrial complex posting here?

If jail time makes execs think twice before they take that job they can't do, before they appoint someone else who can't do a job, before they stifle the changes required in a company due to ignorance, stupidity, unwillingness to do something.. then bring on the jail time.

I point to the mess at OPM as a prime example.

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Moronic Time cover sets back virtual reality another 12 months

lukewarmdog

star wars kid..

Are we sure that isn't Ghyslain Raza?

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Want to download free AV software? Don't have a Muslim name

lukewarmdog

foreign sounding name?

Seen this said a couple of times.

It's just a name. Computers can't hear how you say it and they can't identify from your typing what colour you are. This is very much a human failing.

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Obsolescence of food is complete: Soylent now comes in bottles

lukewarmdog

Diet shake

So is the point of this not just because it's handy but also weight loss a la slimfast?

Two delicious shakes followed by actual food?

Guessing that's where they're aiming it at, rather than at the whey protein drinking bodybuilder crowd.

I can see it being useful in food shortage situations, especially the pre-watered variety for disaster hit areas.

I'm actually more confused having looked at their website than I was before I read it.

"Some people use it almost exclusively" - do they, really tho?

0
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Hacking Trump: Can we not label web vandalism as 'terrorism', please?

lukewarmdog

Can't they claim..

It was just free penetration testing.

Incidentally that is what Clinton should have claimed.

0
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Re/code apologizes for Holocaust 'joke' tweet

lukewarmdog

Stick with what you know

If your reputation is based on reviewing computers you should probably not post jokes. Similarly i would protest in short form if Frankie Boyle posted a serious review of Windows 10.

There are plenty of keyboard / social justice warriors out there that will force you to apologise for what you've typed that you need to make sure what you wrote came from the "I don't give a crap" account and not the "my site has serious investors trying to make money off this" account.

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Lottery chief resigns as winning combo numbers appear on screen BEFORE being drawn

lukewarmdog

graphics guy

Why is there a graphics guy and not a tiny camera taking pictures of the numbers or even better yet just reading data off the balls via nfc or magnets or whatever technology these people have. They must have more technology than relying on a guy to type in the numbers onto the TV..

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Watch leggy ROBOT INSECT WALK on WATER before JUMPING OFF

lukewarmdog

Potential Uses

"perhaps unsurprisingly given the resultant microrobot's potential uses"

I am not seeing any potential uses here.

Giving passing sailors a very small fright isn't going to win the war unless they can suddenly shoot them with a very small concealed gun... oh wait.. do they have very small concealed weapons?

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Verizon splits with carrier-led bonking and invests in SimplyTapp

lukewarmdog

unattended checkin

In Iceland the apartments we've stayed in for the last few years email you a login for the main door then your keys are just in a pigeon hole with your name / room number on it. Simpler times.

My worry is that once you've replaced all your (working perfectly well) cards with an app and you lose your phone, you lose not only all those cards at once but also your ability to phone anyone and report the loss..

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'Apple lures labels from free streams – and why is no one doing anything about it' shrieks group

lukewarmdog
Trollface

@Doug

You're stupider than the ebook thing.

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4 new twists that push the hacker attack on millions of US govt workers into WTF land

lukewarmdog

Self-improvement

Hacks in, changes salary, logs back out. Worked in Ferris Bueller..I'll just blame the other hackers if anyone notices.

0
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Joke no more: Comedy virty currency Dogecoin gets real in big Xmas heist

lukewarmdog

Doge

Pronounced dodgy?

And being managed on reddit? I'd rather bank with 4chan

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