Feeds

* Posts by DiViDeD

345 posts • joined 11 May 2007

Page:

Bose says today is F*** With Dre Day: Beats sued in patent battle

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: A Mockery of Justice outs the Law in a Banana Republic as a Fat Assed Fool and Idiots' Tool

"making yourself look like a prime douchbag."

Now hold on a minute! amanfrommars MAY be a douchebag. Then again, he may not - reading his posts has always been an infallible cure for common sense.

But the point is, even if he is, as you suggest, a 'douchebag', he is OUR douchebag, and in the annals of El Reg is probably a protected National Trasure by now.

So leave orf!

;o)

4
0

Australia floats website blocks and ISP liability to stop copyright thieves

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: This is what happens when it's time to vote

Someone with more nonce than me once said that Australian elections are not won by anyone. They're simply lost by governments.

There does seem to be a general sense of 'It's time for a change, so let's give the other lot a go, regardless of how far they fucked things up the last time they were in power'

1
0
DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: OzLaw

"Conroy (Labor) tried to do it first and failed"

You know, it doesn't matter what colour rosette the weasels are wearing, they're still weasels.

The Liberal opposition of ISP level blocking and their cries about starving CSIRO of the funds needed to keep Australia at the forefront of something or other were simply examples of our supremely polarised political system. 'If it's your idea, then it must be shit, regardless of whether it's something I actually want'

Voters in Australia, when they can be dragged away from The Voice, or The Block, or 'I'm vaguely related to someone famous, get me on TV', approach politics with the same polarised attitude. Any conversation questioning a government policy gets immediately mired in 'Ah, yo forget that it was YOUR lot that did A, so you cannot criticise MY lot for doing B', together with an accusation that, if you are criticising Labour, you are obviously a right Wing religious nut, while if you are criticising the Liberals, then you are a leftie communist child molester who needs to go and live in Cuba, if you like it so much.

Australians should stand back and look objectively at our political 'leaders', whatever their professed political stance. It shouldn't take any reasonable person too long to reach the conclusion that they're ALL chiselling weasels whose only interest is themselves and who are happily selling the Australian people down the river for personal gain.

Oh, and they'd also like Australia to become another US state, please.

3
0

Facebook haters, look away now: BABY SNAP site's profit is up 138%

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: Targeted ads be Buggered!

My Facebook News Feed gives me the oddest ads - I've had dressmaking patterns, m&m special offers, 'Why don't you buy a Hyundai?' (do they REALLY want to know?) loads of Harvey Norman ads (a particularly sleazy Aussie Home Appliances store I wouldn't enter with a gun to my head).Ads for our TV companies, most popular Hollywood bollockbusters, music by people I've never heard of, and so on. And for some reason, I get a lot of 'Did you know you *might* qualify for a Green Card?' stuff. I think the Green Card ads (sorry - suggested posts) are a fallback for when they have no information on me (which is always).

But to my certain knowledge, I have never clicked on a single offering. I suppose that makes me a freetard.

0
0

Reg Latin scholars scrap over LOHAN's stirring motto

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: Splorf

"That's what the ablative case is for"

I thought the ablative case was for reentry

I'll get my.. Oh, you got it for me, thanks.

Yes, I can SEE the door, thankyou

0
0

Climate: 'An excuse for tax hikes', scientists 'don't know what they're talking about'

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: People of the world?

"Couldn't they have done something useful like polled people on what they believe the mass of the Higgs boson to be? "

We tried that, but with answers ranging from 'Abaht 'arf a kilo, mate' to 'A WHOSE WHAT?', we were no closer than when we started.

0
0

iPad? More like iFAD: We reveal why Apple fell into IBM's arms

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

"Phones tend to get upgraded every 2 years because they seem to loose battery "

I dunno about that. My old Dell Streak is still going strong (as a backup PAYG) and as far as I can see, the battery is no looser than it was when it was new - still fits snugly into its little receptacle and shows no tendency to rattle around when the device is in motion.

Maybe I just got lucky and happened to get one of those new, 'non loose' batteries.

Hope I never lose it.

2
0

Lawyer reviewing terror laws and special powers: Definition of 'terrorism' is too broad

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: I have argued for many years

@LucreLout

So Freedom Fighters only engage in *authorised* intimidation and violence, to achieve the overthrow of their government (which could hardly be further from a 'political aim', huh?)

BTW, since Freedom Fighters only attack military targets, and it's only terrorists who attack civilians, how do we read the Palestinian bloodbath at the moment?

Palestinians have killed 13 soldiers and killed or injured 6 civilians

Israelis have killed >600 civilians, mostly women and children.

I could be reading this wrong, but that makes Israel terrorists and Hamas Freedom Fighters who are a little bit terrywristed.

2While I'm o another rant, and while the IRA were bombing and shooting civilians in NI and the rest of the UK in the 70s, merkins regarded them as 'freedom fighters'.

Is that because they were using the wrong dictionery?

4
1

Games industry set for $5 BILLION haircut, warn beancounters

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

So what will you be playing in 2019?

I dunno really. What do you think Gabe? Any chance of an early beta, pre release demo of HL3 by then?

Thought not.

2
0

You! Pirate! Stop pirating, or we shall admonish you politely. Repeatedly, if necessary

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: Does anyone know exactly what's being pirated?

"Was it terrible of me to get it from Pirate Bay?"

Yes it was, and your children will be forced to sniff the nether regions of Satan unto the seventh generation as punishment for your sin.

Or the Chairman of Sony BMG should Satan not be available.

I'm reminded of the Good Old Days(patent pending) when, if you happened to be out for Space Force, or Emergency Ward 10, or the Moon Landings, that was it. No video recorder to preserve it, no +2 to give you another chance to miss it later on, in many cases, no expectation of a repeat broadcast, ever.

On Demand viewing and listening is something relatively new, but something we got used to very quickly. It slipped in quietly and established itself in most of our lives, making it mind numbingly obvious, to al but the content owners, that it's how we want it.

So if the Beeb, or Sony or 20th Century Farts, or anybody else tells people "I'm sorry, you can't have this because you're in the wrong region, or we can't get your local broadcaster to pay over the odds for a copy, or we simply don't believe that making it availabe would be profitable', then they shouldn't be surprised that people go elsewhere to get it.

Hell, if they bunged all of their content on a big(gish) server and charged people a tenner a month to access anything they wanted, you'd see copyright infringement drop dramatically. And the only thing stopping them from doing so is that they used to make obscene amounts of money and are in denial over the fact that the world no longer works that way.

6
0
DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: This

There you have it. With storage so incredibly cheap these days (I remember when it cost several thousand for a 10Mb Winchester HDD about the size of a domestic washing machine - back when the Internet was all fields), there's no reason not to have *everything* stored and available to subscribers.

Instead we have the latest 'teeny sensation', this year's X Factor winners, a bunch of wrinkled old rock dinosaurs who might have been relevant 40 years ago, the usual mass market tosh.

I you're looking for something less than commercial, anything that wasn't in the Hot 100 Chart, experimental, dangerous (you remember - the stuff the record companies used to release back in the days of Manticore, Island and Virgin - then you won't find much of it in a music store.

The new, exciting, but quite possible commercially failing music that record companies used to seek out in the late 60s/early 70s (admittedly because record execs were mainly old and out of touch and had no idea what 'the kids' would be listening to next) are no longer an expensive option. hell, most of these guys absorb their own production costs - all Sony BMG has to do is store the audio file somewhere.

Some of it's very very good, some very very bad. Some of it is too strange to easily form an opinion of. But I always thought that the major selling point of online music was to be presented with things you wouldn't normally hear at your local HMV (if anyone still has a local HMV).

In the old days, you had to go digging around to find unusual or different music. Some people did, and new genres arose. But to go hunting for something you need to know it exists, and as long as online music stores continue to offer just more of what sold well last week, new music will continue to be the province of diehard P2P music fans, asking each other in the forums 'Hey, did you hear this? See what you think'.

Sorry, meandered a bit. If there's a point in there I'd like to claim it.

0
0

Writing about an Australian Snowden would land Vulture South in the clink

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: Australian Federal Government - The New NORKS

@RealFred

You know, you just demonstrated these fuckers' REAL power. If I criticise Abbot and his bunch of trough swilling cronies, it can only be because I have undying love and admiration for Shorten, Rudd, and THEIR trough swilling cronies.

Like I said in my original post, Australians (and I include myself) need to get off our collective arses and boot the whole bunch of them into the Tasman. Saying 'Ah, my Party might be weasels, but your party are weasels too' expresses the truth while still refusing to admit it.

They are lying, cheating, self serving cunts whose idea of long term strategy for the Australian nation is 'Keep the buggers quiet until I can retire to my well paid Corporate Consultancy job'

And that's all of them.

Every single one.

Except for Clive Palmer of course, who in addition to the above is also a twat.

Just my dispassionate and objective take on things, is all

1
0
DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Australian Federal Government - The New NORKS

This is just a teeny tiny extension to the powers these fucks have already awarded themselves.

- Ignore our obligations under UNHCR treaties we signed up for. Bit of yelling from the Lefties, but it soon settled down. Many people I've spoken to seem to accept the doublethink Abbot position of 'Yes, we must help people who are persecuted or in fear of the lives', but simultaneously, 'Not if they're a bit brown or have sloping eyes, obviously'

- Refuse to answer questions relating to the mistreatment, torture and now murder of detained refugees. Worked well. Even supposed 'liberals' I've spoken to seem to believe that we don't need to know what's going on, we have to stop the boat people, and if that means giving the bastards the right to secretly hand over Tamil refugees to the Sri Lankan Navy, well, rather that than that the people worry about it.

It's interesting that the new powers are not *targetted* at journalists, but have been framed in such a way that, when the time comes to silence a troublesome voice, the framework is already in place and, since nobody protested its introduction, we must therefore be perfectly happy with it being used against journalists.

After al, if the government was doing something wrong, they'd tell us, wouldn't they? Oh no, they wouldn't, because they've already established they don't have to.

Aussies really need to tear Canberra down, bulldoze over the remains and start again, because what we love about this country is disappearing in a sea of shit.

Just my initial response. On a Friday. After a hard week. And after the umpteenth 'these people' comment from this 'Fair Go' governement.

29
0

Spinning SPACE DUCK is comet-chasing Rosetta probe's PREY

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

the Age of Miracles & Wonders

Isn't it bloody amazing that we can do something like this? Rendezvous with a comet (in SPAAAAACE, no less), send pictures back, analyse at a distance of many thousands of kilometres, and yet still no flying car.

But some days I can do without the flying car when I see stuff like this.

Go ESA! (as I believe our leftpondian cousins would expect us to say at a time like this)

5
0

Sit back down, Julian Assange™, you're not going anywhere just yet

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: How can any lawer keep a stright face

"Of course the mofo is guilty as hell!"

Absolutely! He's guilty of skipping bail.

Cannot be disputed.

Clear as day.

Guilty as charged, everyone, even Assange, knows that.

And he hasn't been charged with anything else.

5
0
DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: I'm guessing the Ecuadorian embassy doesn't have vehicular access

"HTF do they get their people out if they don't have vehicular access?"

They walk out the front door, cross the pavement ('sidewalk' to our left pond cousins) and hop into the waiting taxi/limo/No 27 bus.

Unfortunately, that pavement is UK soil (well, concrete), and even if he's getting into a diplomatic car, he'd still have to get to it past six million quidsworth of plods.

Although, I don't suppose anyone's considered the old 'escape via ram raid' option? just smash the car into the front door, transfer our Jools and hope the thing is still driveable?

Would at least provide some good footage for the six o'clock bulletin.

1
1
DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: Cost a government

"That prick has diverted £6M of front line policing away from the streets of the city "

Not quite. Assange hasn't diverted anything. The Plod, in their infinite wisdom, decided that six million to help the Swedes get anything up to five grand, should the case ever come to court and Assange be found guilty, is a bargain.

Apparently, basic aritmetic is not a requirement for joining the Met.

17
9

iWatch 'due November'... Y'all know what time it is? Now you do

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: Who actually wears a watch anymore?

"going to sleep before 5pm in December (here in the UK) which is not really practical for most?"

Well, not for most of us, but hey, I'm willing to give it a try, y'know - for science and all.

0
0

'Apple is TERRIFIED of women’s bodies and women’s pleasure' – fresh tech sex storm

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: Free speech

"does Apple believe that its devices continue to belong to it even after being 'sold'"

Well, they do pride themselves on the high resale value. I imagine the appeal of a second hand iThing with 'I'm with this cunt -->' inscribed on the back might be lower than for an identical but rather less sullied one.

0
0

Thought PCs were in the toilet? They're STILL eating Apple's lunch

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: PC's down the swanee?

Hey c'mon! Shurely EVERYONE has at least ONE PC in the toilet.

Eh?

Just me then?

I'll get me coat

0
0
DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: Where do self builds come in?

"So, in a way, WE are the 1%."

Excellent news! When can I expect my first multi million dollar taxpayer funded bailout?

3
0

Snowden leaks latest: NSA, FBI g-men spied on Muslim-American chiefs

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: PC Speech

I do remember being told of a visiting american who, on meeting a Boy from Brixton (tm), paused uncertainly for a moment or two, then stuck her hand out in a friendly fashion and saif "Hi John. You know, you're the first English African-American I've ever met"

Made me smile

A bit

2
0

'Ribbed' for your pleasure: Jony Ive unveils NAKED IPHONE

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

I come here mostly for the intelligent writing

"it is unclear whether it will be use if any all-glass device would use the material"

'Unclear' doesn't even come close!

0
0

Doctor Who season eight scripts leak online

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: It's for kids

"...how exactly DO we grow up?"

No idea. I've been aiming to grow up for nearly 60 years, and no closer now than when I started.

And I wouldn't have it any other way. I work with grown ups and they seem to be unhappy pretty much most of the time.

3
0

USA to insist on pre-flight mobe power probe

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Although Oz is now my permanent home, the only time I've had a holdup at immigration before I settled here was at Sydney Airport when I stated I had nothing to declare and the bloke checking my passport looked up at my (admittedly garish) Manga shirt (Black, with a big yellow cloaked warrior emblazoned on the front - hey, they were all the rage..... once) and said 'Jesus, mate. I hope you're going to declare that bloody shirt!'

I kinda fell in love with the country there and then

26
0
DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Containing little but bolts and glue

Fascinating. I never realised that bolts and glue were such a security risk.

What with the 'remove all footwear, give us a DNA sample, even if you're not actually setting foot on our sacred soil, hand over all encryption keys' and the classic holdup for a former colleague when he was held at the airport for five hours (thus missing his internal connection) because the immigration monkey refused to believe there wasn't a merkin who could do the job he'd travelled there to do, this seems like just one more reason not to travel to, or even via the US.

17
0

MPAA, meet the Streisand effect: Picture ass. slaps Reddit with takedown

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: For those who have never seen it...

ahem

Were you, as a fellow antipodes dweller, to drop a line to tekk1 at techie dot com, you might well hear something to your advantage. But who am I to say?

0
0

UK mobile sales in the toilet: Down by FIVE MILLION this year

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: Is this really a problem?

"Do we really need to upgrade every year for a new handset that doesn't differ significantly from what came before?"

There you put your finger on the problem. As an early Android adopter, for the first few years every new phone was a huge upstep (upstep? is that even a word? Well, if truthiness is a word...), with new features, radical improvements to both OS and hardware and so on.

The analyst 'gurus' looked at sales from this period and rubbed their hands in that endearing 'If it's happening now, it will continue growing forever' way that market analysts do.

I just got my S5. Apart from gimmicks like the fingerprint scanner (oh, and the free Gear Neo), it's much the same as my old Note. A few OS tweaks from JB to KK, but nothing to get too excited about. Like PCs, flatscreen TVs and fridges, mobe technology has matured. In the absence of any compelling improvement over previous models, there's simply no reason to change (no longer upgrade - just change) your mobile every year.

In fact the only reason I changed at all was that my Optus contract was up, and I could get a free phone on the new (slightly cheaper) plan for zero up front. Otherwise, I had no reason to even consider changing.

2
0

We need to talk about SPEAKERS: Sorry, 'audiophiles', only IT will break the sound barrier

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: Hmmm

"You(r) brain will filter it out in 5 minutes. That should tell you something"

Yes. It does the same for Justin Bieber too, although it doesn't always take as long as 5 minutes.

Especially if I'm standing anywhere near the power switch.

5
0
DiViDeD
Bronze badge

"You mean it is actually more pleasing to the ear if it doesn't hear the same sound that it would have done if the musicians were playing live?"

Well of course it is. Otherwise how fo you explain the modern appetite for $2,000 valve amps with their distortion fueled 'warmth'?

And I've been to a number of concerts where hearing something different from what was coming from the musicians would have been an immense relief ;o)

0
0

Walmart in iPhone 5s, 5c price slash – gotta make room for that 'iPhone 6', right?

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: Are buyers as thick as pigshit?

"Where are these much-rumored iPeople who upgrade their phones every time a new model comes out?"

Don't know where all of them are, but two of them are in Cherrybrook, Sydney. So far they've been out there on the pavement in George Street in the dark, while iMinions ply them with coffee and sing songs for every launch since the 4.

And even when they had to replace all their 30 pin connector peripherals (car dock, alarm clock ..erm.. dock, bloody big cheap nasty column speaker dock, etc) becaus etheir new phones didn't fit anymore (I suggested adaptors, but it seems the docks needed the phone to fit flush in order to support it and they were a bit worried about stress on the connectors), the simply chucked it all out and replaced it because 'that's progress'.

So I might only know of two, and they could be the only two in the whole world, but I wouldn't count on it - they ARE out there, make sure you lock your door

4
0

Assange™ makes fresh bid for FREEDOM from Scotland Yard's 'physical encirclement'

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: "when that warrent does not involve serious criminal or terrorist action"

No, he's accused of 'Sex by Surprise', which has no counterpart in the legal system of the UK. It's not rape, and to suggest it is serves to belittle the victims of real rape.

2
2
DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: oh but that's just the start...

"Worst case... he's charged and faces 4 years in prison. (He's still on the hook for that. And under the law, I believe that's the max he would face for that offense)"

Sorry, but this has been covered more than adequately many times before. The maximum penalty he would face is a fine of 5,000 Kr, which is a little under 500 quid. There is no possibility of jail time being involved.

His reasons for refusing to return to Sweden had nothing to do with a fear of jail, but related to his concern (real or imagined) that he would board a plane at heathrow and wake up in an orange jumpsuit at Guantanamo.

However, the real oddity in all this has been the willingness of the UK to comply with a Swedish arrest warrant, when that warrent does not involve serious criminal or terrorist action on the part of Assange (the purported reason for introducing this cross border cooperation on internal warrants), nor is the warrent issued in respect of something which is a criminal offence in the UK.

Can you imagine the outcry if the UK government complied with the UAE if it demanded extradition of a UK citizen to Dubai because s/he'd criticised the Al Maktoums?

Still, if Julian DOES end up in Oz, I'm sure our government will treat him with the same compassion and respect for human dignity as they do to those from war zones who seek asylum here (although he does have the advantage of not being a 'little bit brown')

4
5

Apple SOLDERS memory into new 'budget' iMac

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: Fat Mac

I followed you perfectly well earlier. I believe the phrase you used was 'stuff made BY Microsoft (my emphasis, to assist the hard of thinking).

Point me to the world leading PC hardware manufactured by Microsoft and I'll concede your point.

In the meantime, anyone mind if I say 'fuckwit' again?

thanks

0
0
DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: Fat Mac

"So you use stuff made by Microsoft, right? "

Ah yes, the old Microsoft all in one PC, or maybe you're referring to the class leading Microsoft laptops and notebooks?

Would you like a hand reattaching your reality anchor?

>can I say fuckwit now?<

1
2

REVEALED: Reg trails claw along Apple's 'austerity' 21.5-inch iMac

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

"Most people don't need high performance" and other oddities

I'm a little surprised to see so many commentards applauding this move by Apple as though a lower spec machine at similar high price is what the world has been desperately waiting for.

Admittedly, Apple devices have no significance to me or my life as they have always been a niche product (6% of the market in Europe, 1.61% in Asia, even on home turf US it only captures 14%), and is still virtually unknown in business outside of the Kr8ive Zone, but the idea that Apple have somehow done everyone a favour for producing an underpowered laptop in a desktop form factor, then pricing it higher than a mid level gaming rig, seems somehow disappointing.

Just saying

2
1

Tor is '90 per cent of the net' claims City of London Police Commish – and he's dead wrong

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Are you sure about #3? I'm pretty sure there was no Church Of England in 1215, only the Church Of Rome

0
0

Supermodel Lily Cole: 'I got a little bit upset by that Register article'

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: So who's funding the bazaar thing they say is coming soon?

I hope it's not me.

I don't know quite how to break this to you, but....

3
0

IoT cup claims 'instant' identification of what's in it

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: Tracking hydration levels ...

I may not be ill, elderly or infirm, yet, but I am still going to have difficulty peeing into the cup which I am also using to analyse what I drink.

Maybe two cups, clearly marked 'IN' and 'OUT'?

2
0

AT&T has Amazon 3D smartphone on lockdown – report

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: 3D has been how successful ?

+1 for reminding us of the original Streak (or Streak Classique as it will henceforth be known). My first Android phone, the first phone to blow me away with its first firmware upgrade (the change from CupCake to Froyo was astonishing - not least of which was the transformation of the video camera from VGA to HD) and also the only mobile I have ever been able to use in the Oz Sunshine. And all encased in a bevel edged sheet of gloss black.

0
0

YOSEMITE GLAM: Apple unveils gussied up OS X

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: At what point will they...

I'm sorry, but graphic/web designers are not 'techies' because they use Macs, any more than an accountant is a 'techie' because s/he uses Excel to calculate accruals.

Techies are the people who make the web designers' designs actually WORK, who build AND MAINTAIN THE . Web designers say 'I want this to change colour and zoom in when the mouse rolls over it', the 'techie' makes it happen.

I have worked in plenty of places where the design teams, graphics teams and design managers used Apple flavoured technology, but they were simply using them as sophisticated versions of coloured pencils and crayons. I'm sure I wouldn't be able to create the graphics they did, but the point is, they could produce design ideas with a biro and a paper napkin. Try building a customer database using just a sheet of A4 and a blue crayon.

Let the downvotes commence. Oh, and I DO work, have worked as a contractor for some 30+ years, and have yet to see any evidence that there is any market competition between Aoole and (let's face it) Microsoft on the development office desk.

0
0
DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: At what point will they...

"Techies love Macs"

Do tell, I've not met a techie who loves em. Met plenty of Nathan Barleys who thin they're the best thing since retro 70s disco though.

"Noticed how many enterprises have macs and ipads these days?"

Well, no. Let's see, last few contracts:

Komatsu - Windows PCs, scary bright coloured Japanes flip phones

CitiBank - Windows PCs, Crackberries, transitioning to WinPhone and Surface

Access Industries - Windows PCs, BYOD

RailCorp - Windows PCs, Crackberries. One bloke with a ponytail who used to bring his MacBook Air into meetings and stare at it.

World Nomads - Windows PCs, BYOD and one of the web designers had an iPad he used to play a sort of marble tilt game on at luchtime.

Hmmmm. I must be working for the wrong sort of enterprise. Or just possibly you might have overstated the actuality, as it were? maybe just a smidgeon?

8
13

Mobe-orists, beware: Stroking while driving could land you a £4k fine

DiViDeD
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: For some definition of "use"

"Content is also important"

Absolutely! take pr0n for example. Depending on which side of the divide you drive*, you are faced with the choice of using your non fap hand to change gear and crashing into a tree, or using your fap hand, thus losing <ahem> momentum. It's a sticky choice. Although if it's sticky, you've probably already freed up your fap hand for driving duties

The one with the stains, obviously.

* And, of course, on whether you subscribe to the dextrous or sinistrous side of the handedness debate.

0
0
DiViDeD
Bronze badge

"you often get people who have wiped off 20 in the outside lane of the motorways"

Ah, you're lucky. Around Sydney, we get a wipe off 20 in every lane (except the extreme left of course - NOBODY drives in THERE!), usually driving side by side.

0
0

Stephen Fry MADNESS: 'New domain names GENERATE NEW IP NUMBERS'

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: Well...

Or to put it another way....

'Since any finite number divided by infinity is as close to zero as makes no odds it can easily be proved that the total population of the universe is zero and that any of the people you think you see walking around can be put down to an overactive imagination or having had one too many Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters with Zaphod Beeblebrox'

4
0

Crack Telstra Cabling SquadTM goes all Tarzan to restore internet

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

21st Century Telstra

And of course, the major advantage of having it out in the open like that is that the combination of leaf condensation and rain will keep the string nice and wet, with gravity to take care of the all important NBN String Tension Requirements.

Brilliant! Once again Australia leads the Third World!

huzzah!

2
0

Fed-up bloke takes email spammers to court – and WINS PILE of CASH

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: voluntarily ???

As a former member of the Mark Thomas mailing list, I can confirm that, for junk snail mail, using the enclosed prepaid envelope to send them a breeze block can be very effective, especially when the bloke in the Post Office says 'Bloody serve em right, I'm going to do that myself in future!'

Another trick I used to employ in my misspent youth was to send all the Readers Digest bumf ro NatGeo in their reply envelope and vice versa.

Chucking it in the bin costs em nothing. Returned reply paid envelopes they have to pay for.

1
0

'THERE'S BEEN A MURRRDER!' Plod probe Street View 'slaying'

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: Why weren't they arrested?

Can anyone else hear a sort of 'WHOOSH'-ing sound?

0
2

SPB's mountaintop HQ menaced by WOLVES

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

Re: Dogs (Protection of Livestock) Act 1953

In a (possibly apocryphal, but I'd like to believe otherwise) story from the Vale of Glamorgan a couple of decades back, one of the local sheep farmers found a good use for such protections when they started large scale housing development in the Vale back in the 80s.

Mostly, the residents of the new houses were townies, kids away at school and both parents working in the city, with the dogs left to roam the countryside all day.

Whenever a worried couple would turn up at the farm explaining how they hadn't seen little Bozo for nearly a week, and was it possible he'd somehow got himself trapped in one of the outbuildings, he'd march them over to his barn, swing open the door and ask them if they recognised any of the canine carcasses he had nailed up against the inside wall.

Apparently, it eventually helped to keep the sheep worrying problems down, although whether because of dog owner education or rapid dog attrition is not clear

1
0

Using email? Text messages? Congrats, you're in the 'underbelly of dark social sharing'

DiViDeD
Bronze badge

They advertise stuff on YouTube?

I never know what's being advertised on YouTube. I'm always too busy watching that tiny video in the corner.

You know, the one that goes 'you can skip this video in 9...8...7...

2
0

Page: