* Posts by Craig 2

198 posts • joined 1 Jul 2009

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SpaceX winning streak meets explosive end

Craig 2

"They'll get right next time."

They have got it pretty much right already. Now come the endless refinements that increase success rates and allow for previously unforseen circumstances. It's called engineering :)

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Microsoft splashes Virtual Reality-slinging 'Scorpio' Xbox

Craig 2

"If I want Virtual Reality I'll go outside."

Not to be pedantic, but that would be actual reality, or just "reality". :P

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Thief dresses as Apple Store drone, walks off with $16,000 in iGear

Craig 2

Very true this, and I'm sure Apple will take a leaf out of other manufacturer's books by encoding security measures into all sub-components so that they can't be swapped for fakes. (A bit like the optical drives in XBOX consoles are locked to motherboards etc) Hasn't this already happened to a certain extent with the 3rd-party touch ID sensors?

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Craig 2

Re: It's 2016, why are people still not thinking things through....

Because the thieves themselves won't be hindered by those security measures. It will be the suckers who find out after they bought a cheap iPhone from the man on the street... (No sympathy for them either)

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Tinder bans under-18s: Moral panic averted

Craig 2

Re: People still use Tinder?

"Also- how the hell do they propose to police the age on it"

Ahh, but as long as you LOOK like you care and put in some token controls, you can keep the moral high ground while still reaping the benefits of the (probably) most active demographic.

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Even in remotest Africa, Windows 10 nagware ruins your day: Update burns satellite link cash

Craig 2

There's one big lesson from all these Windows 10 horror stories... don't use Microsoft products for mission critical applications, they can fuck you over any time.

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One ad-free day: Three UK to block adverts across network in June

Craig 2

In theory a good idea. However, who knows what types of traffic will be blocked in the future since they will already have the filtering software in place.

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Manchester cops to strap on 3K bodycams

Craig 2

If you're stopped by the police and see the officer turn off his bodycam... run!

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Symantec: I know we said things'd get better when we sold Veritas...

Craig 2

Die. Die. Die.

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There's a hole in your website

Craig 2

Great marketing if it was done on purpose..

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Have Microsoft-hosted email? Love using Live Mail 2012? Bad news

Craig 2

A fine example of the bait & switch technique. Fuckers

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Germans stick traffic lights in pavements for addicts who can't take their eyes off phones

Craig 2

That's going to cost to install city-wide. It comes under the same umbrella as my car insurance being used to subsidise idiot drivers, my taxes for lazy scumbags and bank charges to bail out irresponsible spenders.

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Windows 10 Anniversary Update draws nearer with Inky preview

Craig 2

"A bit rough around the edges"

Sounds a bit rough through and through.

Honestly, Windows should be polished to the Nth degree by now...

I hate to think about the ever-sprawling tree of unintended consequences when you change something in the OS code.

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So you’d sod off to China to escape the EU, Google? Really?

Craig 2

Sounds like the first exchanges of "big threats" that usually precede these kind of investigations...

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Daily! Mail! eyes! up! Yahoo!'s news! arm!

Craig 2
Mushroom

" I just typed "microsoft support" into yahoo's google search bar"

Burn that computer now, it's beyond saving!

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Spinning rust fans reckon we'll have 18TB disk drives in two years

Craig 2

I would think that across the entire history of human engineering and manufacturing, tolerances have become tighter whilst reliability has improved.

Flash may match the capacity of rust soon enough, but I think it will take far longer to match the cost.

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Mindless Flash masses saved as exploit kit devs go astray with 0day

Craig 2

"Users would need only view an online advertisement"

Excellent, another article I can mail to websites that moan about ad-blocking.

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Truly crap exhibition dumped on Isle of Wight

Craig 2

I've been, it's shit.

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Courts cry over cunning call-center criminals crafting convincing cons

Craig 2

In your head, just imagine unsolicited phone calls are an actual person walking up to you on the street asking the same questions. You'll soon realize that no way are you falling for that shit and hang up.

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Water treatment plant hacked, chemical mix changed for tap supplies

Craig 2

Re: no prizes for good guess

"stiff penalties for companies leaving their systems insecure"

Even connecting critical infrastructure to a publicly accessible network should be a criminal offense in my book. The question of whether it's secure or insecure is easy to answer: it's not.

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Snowden WAS the Feds' quarry in Lavabit case, redaction blunder reveals

Craig 2
Facepalm

The guy that redacted this document is obviously of the same ilk as someone I work with who has an almost pathological aversion to using the search function on any document. He'd rather search a folder of emails or a huge webpage manually instead of just typing a few characters to find what he's looking for. Let's just hope this guy at the feds isn't in charge of anything to do with something like nuclear launch codes...

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Flying Scotsman attacked by drone

Craig 2

Re: "FAA's 'drone smash risk to aircraft' is plane crazy"

Yep the FAA should limit all trains to a maximum altitude of 400ft.... Doc Brown better watch out.

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Science contest to get girls interested in STEM awards first prize to ... a boy

Craig 2

Life is unfair, and the unfair-ness is unfairly distributed.

Get over it.

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Apple hasn't announced the new iPhone 5SE and pundits already hate it

Craig 2

Oooooh, I better take note because these pundits are always right on the mark.... /sarcasm

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Google human-like robot brushes off beating by puny human – this is how Skynet starts

Craig 2

I'm simultaneously amazed and frightened.

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Under-fire Apple backs down, crafts new iOS to kill security safeguard

Craig 2

I don't understand this story. It appears that your writer is actually defending Apple in a fair and balanced manner? What am I missing? Is this some sarcasm too subtle for even me to detect, or has one of your writers been turned to the dark side?

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Pilot posts detailed MS Flight Sim video of how to land Boeing 737

Craig 2

Re: "Use your feet to steer by pushing on the left or right pedal"

In an emergency, will pushing the pedals alone cause the aircraft to change heading? Yes or No

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Your anger is our energy, says Microsoft as it fixes Surface

Craig 2

".... users reported flickering screens, poor battery life and continued somnolence when being aroused from sleep mode."

"users reported they are generally shit."

FTFY

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Earthquake-sensing smartphone app fires off early alerts of disaster

Craig 2

Just don't leave it on your bedside table this weekend, greater-than-average chance of the earth moving!

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Reluctant Wikipedia lifts lid on $2.5m internet search engine project

Craig 2

"But then the current front-page to Wikipedia is Google."

Indeed. Has anyone ever typed wikipedia.com into the address bar first, then searched for their desired article?

When you Google the search term a nice box of info usually appears next to the results, sometimes pulled from Wikipedia.

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Random ideas sought to improve cryptography

Craig 2

I love the fact that generating true randomness is a very difficult problem to solve. Also, if you >think< you've solved it, it's hard to verify.

Going out on an existential limb, it could be that true randomness is impossible because there's an innate order to the universe that can't be broken....

(off to take my meds now)

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Cloud growth? Take a number, Microsoft. Two engines have stalled

Craig 2

Thanks to the 20+ million tossers helping to bring about the whole "software rental" paradigm...

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Swivel on this: German boffins build nanoscale screwing engine for sluggish sperm

Craig 2
Trollface

Re: Bad Bad Bad

Well, the lazy dregs of society are already given the most attention during their lives (schooling, benefits etc) so why not start right at the beginning?

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Test burn on recycled SpaceX rocket shows almost all systems are go

Craig 2

Because if you're going to do something, make it a proper job.

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Brit 'naut Tim Peake tucks into space bacon sarnie

Craig 2
Thumb Up

Good to know we British are finally bringing culinary sophistication to space...

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Randall 'xkcd' Munroe. Live. You get to ask him stuff. No biggie

Craig 2

I love XKCD, mainly because of the fact that I don't "get" some of the jokes so it turns into a learning experience :)

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US gourmets sizzle in bacon-scented underwear

Craig 2
Trollface

Re: Yeah, you like bacon, I like bacon, now shut up about it and bring me some sausages

I was going to respond with a "fun and devil-may-care" post on how much I love sausages, but then I realized I could never cheat on Bacon like that....

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Microsoft to world: We've got open source machine learning too

Craig 2
Joke

They ought to educate management on making rational decisions before trying to teach machines...

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Drug-smuggling granny's vagina holds Kinder surprise

Craig 2

"Drug-smuggling granny's vagina holds Kinder surprise"

What were the odds those 7 words could be combined to make a sentence....

Rest of the world: 1 in a billion

On El Reg: Pretty much evens.

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Royal Mail mulls drones for rural deliveries

Craig 2

Re: So what does this driverless van do....

"... when it's going down some windy country lane and it encounters a car coming the other way? Does it know to back up to the last point? Does it know the other driver should? How does it know there are points to pull in? How does it negotiate who should do what in each direction.?"

To be fair, these problems seem to confuse a lot of human drivers too...

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Judge bins Apple Store end-of-shift shakedown lawsuit

Craig 2
FAIL

Re: I wouldn't work at a place...

"I wouldn't work at a place...

that has so little trust and regard for their own staff."

Yea, because they brought in the search rules before anything ever went missing...

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Microsoft scares the bejesus out of Skype users with x12 price hike

Craig 2

Indeed, mine has been set to auto-run at startup for ages. The other day I realized it's just never used anymore. It's still installed but not auto-loaded and after a few months it'll be removed...

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SatNad failure as Lumia income drops over 50% at Microsoft

Craig 2

Their phone business strategy resembles a motorway pile up: It only takes one asshole up front to cause carnage & mayhem behind....

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Ubuntu 15.10: More kitten than beast – but beware the claws

Craig 2

Major version 15 of a mainstream OS and they're still messing with a basic UI element....

Reminds me of the problems the Golgafrinchans encounter when trying to invent the wheel.

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Terror in the Chernobyl dead zone: Life - of a wild kind - burgeons

Craig 2

Re: Any 6 legged chickens?

Yes, but nobody can catch the bloody things...

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US eco watchdog's shock warning: Fresh engine pollution cheatware tests coming

Craig 2

Re: LINPACK

I remember 10+ years ago Nvidia and ATI were caught manipulating their driver software to detect benchmark environments (eg. 3dmark) and inflate test scores. As more hardware starts including complex software, the opportunity for cheating will only increase.

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Child abuse, drug sales, terrorism fears: Why cops halted a library's Tor relay ... for a month

Craig 2

Much better anaolgy... As I said in the first sentence, I'm all for TOR. Just not the dumb comparisons people make with driving, using knives etc. If you want to compare something make it comparable on the same terms. Otherwise it could be interpreted as: "well, that's not really a fair comparison so the author is probably biased."

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Craig 2

I'm in favour of TOR and think law enforcement agencies should concentrate on just that: enforcing the law as it stands.

BUT...

I'm sick of all the parallels people try and use to compare TOR with other so-called dangerous activities. Your knives example for instance - it's false logic. Running a TOR exit is not the same as using a knife. It's the same as giving free knives to anyone who wants them. Put a table full of various knives outside your house with a sign saying "free knives" and see how long that lasts...

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Disney's light-bulb moment: build TCP into LEDs for IoT comms

Craig 2
Joke

What if I want to use Windows to manage the light in my house?

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Back to school: Six of the smartest cheap 'n' cheerful laptops

Craig 2
Joke

Re: One wonders why TheReg even bothers to do those articles?

"if your friends put their hands into hot lava, would you?"

Couple of points:

If it was called the "Lava hand challenge" then probably yes.

What other kind of lava is there?

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