* Posts by BenDwire

56 posts • joined 30 Jun 2009

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BOFH: An UNHOLY MATCH forged amid the sweet smell of bullsh*t

BenDwire

Dyslexia rules KO ...

Am I the only one who read it as "so I can go back in time and *excrete* Simon Cowell" ...?

1
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Crouching tiger, FAST ASLEEP dragon: Smugglers can't shift iPhone 6s

BenDwire

Re: Makes a change....

No, as Henry Davenport rightly said, it's the Moron Tax.

5
3

Apple's ONE LESS THING: the iPod Classic disappears

BenDwire
Childcatcher

Re: Killed by lighting?

"Yes I can tell the difference, depending on what it's connected to."

Me too, but I really can't tell the difference when travelling at speed on Her Majesty's carriageways, despite a posh Bose system...although I expect the V6 engine doesn't help.

Colour me odd, but a CD rip to FLAC to the music server and then a script / batch job / Foobar to convert to MP3 on a handful of USB sticks for the car. That's worked for me for nearly a decade ... and not an Apple in sight, apart from braeburns.

Oh, and I can legally leave the original CDs to the kids in my will ...

4
0

Virgin Media goes titsup AGAIN. The cause? Yet MORE DNS strife

BenDwire
Go

Re: What outage?

OpenDNS fixed that as of last month....

http://blog.opendns.com/2014/05/29/no-more-ads/

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Fridge hacked. Car hacked. Next up, your LIGHT BULBS

BenDwire
Boffin

Re: Lightwave

Just block the controller from the internet. If you really want to turn your stuff on from another continent you'll have to use a secure connection to your server* as a gateway to the controller. It's quite simple*.

* you're a Reg reader, right?

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Readers' choice: What every small-business sysadmin needs

BenDwire
Thumb Up

Tricorder ...

I can't do without my rooted Android phone running Fing - it's the first thing I power up when something doesn't work. Add in Wi-Fi Analyer, an OpenVPN client and Terminal Emulator, it's the quickest way for me to check the basics. Oh, and I fully agree about saving the instructions - I convert to PDF and stick them on Dropbox, also running on my phone. I think of it as my Tricorder...

As for email, I have been running a 50 user version of VPOP3 on a (sucession of) windows box(es) for the past 15 years, and it hasn't missed a beat. Local. Cost effective. Straightforward.

Fully agree with the choice of Netgear, but I use a PfSense appliance as my firewall of choice.

BTW - Nice article, thanks.

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Reg hack hacked off by iPhone 5 repair notice

BenDwire
Coat

Eh?

Are you sure you're not just holding it wrong ...?

17
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'Bank couriers' who stole money from OAP cancer sufferer jailed

BenDwire
Headmaster

Re: Best common sense tip?

Old hand here: I started writing a long reply with all the techie details about how the POTS system works, and why this couldn't be done easily. But then I realised I am far to old and know far too many intricate details about 20th century communications to keep anyone interested long enough for them to understand. So I won't bother.

However, it can be summed up as too expensive to do, and not their problem anyway.

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TWO can play this 64-bit mobile game, says Samsung, crossly

BenDwire
Stop

Forget 64 bits, and fix the 1 bit that's broken - the battery

As a smartphone user, I couldn't give a stuff about all of this "my bus is bigger than yours" marketing guff. Just give us more battery life. Please. I don't care if you do it with 64 bits of a bus or fragrant tufts of camel hair, just make the damn phone function for a week between charges like the good old days of Nokia. (Kids: You won't remember)

As I'm also an agnostic, I'm bitching at Apple, Samsung, Google and everyone else. Please just get your act together. Copy each other for all I care. Just do it.

Where's Ballmer when you really need him? "Battery Life, Battery Life, Battery Life ....."

(And if you're wondering, I currently get 2+ days out of my smartphone. It's simply not good enough)

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UK discovers Huawei UK staff auditing Huawei kit: Govt orders probe

BenDwire
Big Brother

Re: Does every piece of kit get the same treatment?

Don't you mean "Massive Phorm"?

9
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Petshop iPad fanboi charged with filming up young model's skirt

BenDwire
Childcatcher

Re: Quiet news day? El Reg?

I don't normally defend the reporting standards at El Reg, but in this case the previous story / vomit was about the young lass tracking the perp; This regurgitation / story now informs us that he's been charged i.e. there is a bit more new news to report.

If El Reg had published the aforementioned upskirt photos then your criticism would be justified, but in this case there was nothing to cause further distress to the poor lass.

Agreed, it's not much of a story for a tech website, but it's worth it for some of the comments!

1
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Borked your iDevice? Pay EVEN MORE to have it fixed by Applecare

BenDwire
Coat

Surprise Surpirise ...

Am I the only one who heard Cilla Black's voice in my head saying "Tara Bunch"....?

6
0

Adobe price hike: Your money or your files, frappuccino sippers

BenDwire
Boffin

Depreciation

I hate to sound like an accountant, but even capitalised software should be depreciated over 4 years. Companies can set their own rules in this regard, but the last 3 places I've worked at use this figure. The argument runs along the lines of if you buy a new machine with (say) CAD software, you should capitalise everything: Hardware, software, delivery & installation & training. After 4 years it's probably worthless, so should have been written down to zero by then.

"Upgrading" an existing machine by just putting new software on it doesn't really change the argument - it's still worthless in a few years.

Also, just to be picky, there is a lower threshold before anything is capitalised - usually a few hundred quid. Start8 for a single licence wouldn't be capitalised, but a site licence probably would.

0
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The IT Crowd returns to Channel 4 for a final episode

BenDwire
Facepalm

Re: damp squi[d|b]

I bow to your superior recollection! Apologies all ...

5
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BenDwire
Headmaster

I think you'll find most squid are damp...(apart from the proxy servers of that name)

You meant "squib"

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Larry Ellison forks out over $200m to slurp up sexy Malibu strip

BenDwire
Angel

Re: But does he ever use them?

Eadon? Is that you?

7
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Facebook Home gets SMACKDOWN from irate users

BenDwire
Headmaster

Re: its GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGREAT

No, Tony says "GRRRRREAT" .... Grr, as in growling. Geddit?

I think he's actually friended Gareth Gates...

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Six things a text editor must do - or it's a one-way trip to the trash

BenDwire
Boffin

Re: EEPROM + UV?

Try reading earlier posts ...?

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BenDwire
Boffin

Re: I have lost the ultra-violet wiping-out gadget (ask your dad)

You obviously are, and you're obviously losing some of your marbles. Everyone knows (knew?) that EPROMS need UV to clear them, but EEPROMS don't - they are Electrically Erasable Programmable Read Only Memory. It looks like Stob is a typical softie who likes to pretend they know enough to blame hardware people for their bugs ...

As for me, I'm old enough to still have two of the things laying about, together with a collection of programmers. No, they're not used for new products, but lots of old kit is still in circulation which gets repaired from time to time.

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Carrie Fisher dusts off THAT bikini for Star Wars VII

BenDwire

Re: Maybe she had to.

>> Mine's the one with the light saber in the pocket

...or are you just pleased to see her again?

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Ad-titan Google blocks Adblock Plus in Android security tweak

BenDwire
Big Brother

So...?

Does this actually affect anyone who knows about computers & stuff, like the people who read El Reg? It's an eight step workaround - that's all - and if it's too difficult for the masses to comprehend then they get to look at adverts, as they do when they're watching the mindless drivel on TV. Not our problem.

I'm sure most of us round here won't be that troubled by a bit of minor tinkering.

Are Google within their rights? That's up to them. Will I "carry on up the Android"? That's up to me. And no, Mr Fanboi, I don't care what you decide is right for you - we're different, see?

While I'm ranting, I'll let you into the best way I've found to get rid of in-app adverts. Simply pay for the app ... no ads, and a warm fuzzy feeling that you're not such a freeloading git after all.

Now where's my beer ....

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Sinclair ZX Spectrum FAILS latest radio noise rules SHOCK

BenDwire
Boffin

@Dave Bell

It's still available, and is still used in a couple of our 20+ year old designs! (Our industrial customers are a conservative lot and still want "what they bought last time" - who am I to argue if they're willing to pay for it?)

Mind you, the updated versions use all the techniques mentioned in the original article and end up costing far less overall, not more. In short, stop the product from radiating in the first place and you don't need to stick expensive filters everywhere.

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P-P-P-Pick up our PENGUIN-POWERED Pi PIPER of Python

BenDwire
Go

Re: Full Circle Magazine

They're here, split into 4 parts

http://fullcirclemagazine.org/tag/special/

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Experts troll 'biggest security mag in the world' with DICKish submission

BenDwire
Facepalm

7TB USB Key?

We may snigger now, but it will be reality soon enough.

Anyone else old enough to remember laughing at Hyacinth Bucket putting her milk bottles through the dishwasher? Who'd have imagined back then that we'd be forced to wash baked bean tins too!

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Google spikes old MS file formats

BenDwire
Flame

Re: Download =/= upload

Oh it gets much worse: I want to see your handwriting too, and see if you can spell without hitting F7....

No, I'm not in the recruitment business. I employ people for my own company. By all means call me old-fashioned (which I am) but there comes a point where any candidate who wants to work for me gets to talk over their CV ... and guess what, we don't huddle around a monitor, we print it out.

I'm guessing that many aren't aware of the latter stages of the interview process because they fall at earlier stages.... now why might that be?

But thanks for making me feel even older than I am. Bloody kids ....

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BenDwire
Thumb Down

Re: Download =/= upload

No. Anyone who sends me their CV in ANY editable format gets a downvote from me. All I want to see is either a paper copy or a PDF. Why on earth did it become the social norm to send out absolutely everything so that it can be modified by the recipient? Who taught these people?

...oh, wait....

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YouView launches with pricey premium DVR

BenDwire
Go

Re: You won't get a Freesat or Freeview HD box with DLNA server

But I have one - Humax HDR-FOX T2 with *ahem* updated firmware. You know how to use Google, right?

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Winamp mends trio of old-school security holes

BenDwire
Go

Unless you install Winamp Lite ...

Which is hidden at the bottom of the download page, and is a less bloaty 7.8M

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Google guru blasts Android virus doomsayers as 'charlatans'

BenDwire
Meh

For the minority of people ....

Try LBE Privacy Guard if your phone is rooted - nicely restricts rights on a per-app basis.

That said, I do agree with a lot of this - even as a Linux die-hard and Nexus S owner!

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Hard-up OpenOffice whips out begging-cap website

BenDwire
Facepalm

No, they don't fly, they want to be ginger .....

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=winge

5. wannabe ginger. person who dyes their hair ginger and calls themselves ginger, but they aren't a natural ginge.

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BenDwire
Boffin

My winging users hated OpenOffice ...

.... 'cos it wasn't MS Office. Now that the wingers have decided they don't like the ribbon either, they've been really happy with this LibreOffice I've given them - "it's so much better than that awful OpenOffice". (*cough*)

We know it's the same thing, but the users don't know that. OOo has taken the flack for being a poor rip-off, but now that LibreOffice is actually *good enough* for most people let the name stay, and let OOo die. It's no different to the rest of the software industry: Killing off Vista when the "All New" (*cough*) Windows 7 came out. Or the iPhoneN when the iPhoneN+1 came out.

I do think the developers should re-merge and make an even better product, but don't give Oracle any change to mess about with the name. Just leave it be.

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Microsoft milks Casio for using Linux

BenDwire
Big Brother

IANAL

If there is any blame to be apportioned, then it has to go to "The System". The way the patent system works is broken as far as most non-lawyers are concerned. However, the law system is also broken as it assumes a ruling as upheld if enough lawsuits are successfully won. I predict that MS will be able to go after Google / Red Hat etc. once enough little lawsuits have been won. They are simply doing the groundwork, that's all.

If you were in MS's position you'd do the same things to protect your business. That's just how "The System" works.

The same argument can be made against Apple and Oracle. It is the way it is.

Disclaimer: I dislike MS, their products and their business practices. But I use Windows because it gets the job done at an acceptable price. I use Linux where possible. I don't succumb to Apple marketing because I prefer Android. My money, my choice. If you prefer something different and are willing to pay for it yourself then go right ahead - I won't mind. We, the little people, should be allowed choice. That's all.

0
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Unlikely contender tops rankings in Nokia ringtone quest

BenDwire
Facepalm

Eh?

You know about computers, right?

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Dunkin' Donuts waitress offers additional dunkin'

BenDwire
Alert

I just hope she washed her hands afterwards .....

</barf>

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Hobbyist killed by home-made hovercraft

BenDwire
Thumb Up

Then take a look at my brother-in-law... (Pic #4)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_pictures/6910533.stm

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Two solicitors fined and suspended for file-sharer letters

BenDwire
Flame

Hold the celebrations ...

Hang on a mo. They get fined £20k (which ends up where?), and also have to pay £150k ish to another wunch* of lawyers for their "work" which most of us would have done pro bono**. Meanwhile the real victims end up with absolutely nothing for their ordeals, and no real certainty that it can't happen again, and again ....

Maybe I'm just jaded that these "professional regulators" seem to extract all the money that's about, and leave the little people with nothing. Anyone who's had a customer go bankrupt on them will sympathise with the "Oh, they had loads of assets but our fees came to their value+£10k, so there's nothing left for you. We're all in this together don't you know, as we've lost £10k on this too....."

Greedy, parasitic wasters.

* It's the collective term for Bankers. I couldn't think of anything better in this heat ...

** No, I don't like U2 either

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Phone-hack backlash BBC in embarrassing headline gaffes

BenDwire
Facepalm

Pot. Kettle. Black.

That is all.

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Android app sales skimpy, sluggish, slack, scanty...

BenDwire
Mushroom

In UK Speak. Rocks == Bollox. MS Bollox sounds about right

At last count I had about 10 paid apps on my Nexus S - good apps deserve money. After nearly spending ooh, £25, my phone now does everything I want it to*. Everything else comes with the OS - just like MS really. I use my phone for nerdy techie stuff like Lan monitoring, Wi-Fi audits, logging into servers and such like. Apparently I can play games and watch videos .... but I'm too busy getting stuff done...

I agree that iApple have a fantastic marketing department, even better than MS, and their customers tend to be fashion victims rather than techie types. iTunes & App store are the best of their breed - everyone else needs to work hard to catch up. But there is a price: Vendor lock-in. Most "Freetards" hate that more than spending money. But most non-techie types haven't a clue and will just pay what MS/Apple/Murdoch/PC World tell them to do.

Why should we worry? As long as there is a supply of "early adopters" to seed the market, then the "me too" brigade will happily follow - at a vastly cheaper price.

* No. It still doesn't fart. Should I spend some more ££ to make it do so?

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Firefox 4 gets yet another final test build release

BenDwire
Pint

Or maybe ...

...they have no option, as Microsoft won't let them have IE9 unless they buy a new PC.

Yes, yes there's Chrome and Opera etc - choice is a *good thing* - but each to their own. Not grazing, choosing.

I choose Beer. Free, or otherwise.

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Apple's HTML5 'standards' hype debunked

BenDwire
Badgers

It's simpler than that

I can't help thinking that this is a media storm to appease all the iPad/iPhone users whose mates point out that their new "Shineys" won't render half of the internet. This 'demonstration' gives them the opportunity to go "Ahh, but look at this! Marvel at what will happen when the rest of the internet catches up with us!"

TBH I don't care either way, but we do need extremists to push technology. I can't imagine any ElReg reader would defend Flash applications as being the best in the world - I've had far too many browser crashes (all of them apart from Safari, of course*). The only thing wrong with the H.264 bit of HTML5 is nothing technological, it's just that the big boys have included the ability to demand money out of the rest of the playground.

All standards (in all walks of life) should be fully open, royalty free and promote competion for the benefit of the consumers. If there were less greed around this could be possible...

* Safari? Never bothered using it.

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Twitter and theregister. Why it doesn't work

BenDwire
Happy

Clackers!

That's two of us heading towards the half century then! Can you imagine what the Health & Safety twonks would have to say about them these days.... acrylic shards and all that!

Ah well, thanks for taking me back to more innocent times - I can almost smell the grape bazooka bubble gum!

As for the yoof, you know how to STFW

0
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Wii Fit fall woman turns into nympho

BenDwire
Coat

I know a cure

Just give her a wedding cake. That usually fixes it.

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Facebook stands up to UK.gov's cyberbullying

BenDwire
Coat

Calm, measured and balanced reporting?

Well, I suppose it had to happen sooner or later!

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Big Blue eye glares at UK workforce

BenDwire
Coat

Big Blue, perchance?

"It has come out of the blue..."

Where else was it going to come from ?

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Warner Music gives up on free streaming services

BenDwire
Alert

I'm with B3vil

I've also adopted to the "listen to new stuff on Spotify and buy a real CD" model. I've even suggested to the Swedes that they put a buy-it-now link to Amazon for exactly that purpose and maybe get a small margin.

I think the tragic fact is that Warner (et al) are just far too greedy. There is no way to convert "Billions" of non-paying customers to a subscription model - they will simply get it for free, even if it means going back to borrowing friends CD collections.

The music industry really has no clue about their market.

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Oil companies hit by 'state' cyber attacks, says report

BenDwire
Linux

@Matthew 13

Now I like the penguin as much as any other non-sheeple, but I really don't think Linux would have helped in this situation, do you? If the boss was thick enough to 'click the link' then any payload would execute with her/his privileges .. and s/he's got read access to these documents, yes?

Ok, I concur that it needs to be a *nix 'trojan' but they are simple enough to write? Simple script that ftp's the contents of the home folder to the 'bad guys' ....

Regardlass of OS, the PEBKAC acronym still holds true. Linux is good, but fool-proof it 'aint. And we all know that the fools end up floating to the surface.

/2p

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Bloated Office 2010 kicks dirt in face of old computers

BenDwire
Thumb Up

@ Pointless bloat

Apparently you need to tell OO.o not to use a java runtime environment (Tools->Options->Java). That seems to be the root cause of slow starting, but of course if you need java for macros etc then you're still stuffed.

I'm afraid I'm still using Office 2000 when I have to and OO.o for the rest of the time. Oh, and I've still got a typewriter if I really want to get retro - it's got a ribbon interface too!

1
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MS spins IE security disaster into Windows 7 upgrade opportunity

BenDwire
Flame

@ Neal 5

Mate, stick to Windows as you obviously don't understand computers. Keep paying your hard earned cash for the latest shiney bling and you'll be fine. Trust me. I sell just what you need.

And freetards, don't forget to put a bid on fleabay for his old stuff - "hardly used, only one user, only selling due to an upgrade". Where would we be without the sheeple?

4
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Tory questions identify government's best paid CIOs

BenDwire
Pint

Re : And the problem is...

"Of course, we could put an IT support pleb in charge instead, whack his wage up £21k which will make him happy and see what happens with the 1.5Bn budget..... yeah...right"

Hmmm.. Put the PFY in charge of the NHS? Sounds like a interesting plotline for BOFH - over to you, Simon!

0
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Conficker jams up developing interwebs

BenDwire
Coat

Rogue security software

>>"Trend Micro, however, reckons the botnet established by Conficker has already been used to push rogue security software"

Sales at Trend Micro are on the up then?

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