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* Posts by Peter Clarke 1

173 posts • joined 30 Jun 2009

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Apple, FBI: YES we're, er, looking into the NAKED CELEBRITY PICS. Aren't you?

Peter Clarke 1
Paris Hilton

My Misunderstanding

This is a NEWS story? I thought it was publicity for the Cameron Diaz film Sex Tape???

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Anonymous wifi the latest casualty of Russia net neurosis

Peter Clarke 1

Re: Not just Russia

Is that the British way? Make a series of 'security' recommendations until most large companies follow them, then 'We'll just tidy this up with a new law'

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Manhattan drone pair cuffed for NYPD chopper near miss

Peter Clarke 1
Black Helicopters

Appropriate Action

If it really was a threat then why didn't they take it out with the chin mounted mini-gun??

You mean Blue Thunder isn't a documentary???

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1

Is there too much sex and violence on TV?

Peter Clarke 1

New Category Needed

Where do we complain for programmes that insult our intelligence???

Replies linking intelligence and telly watching following in 5 - 4 - 3 ........

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British and European data cops probe Facebook user-manipulation scandal

Peter Clarke 1
Alert

Never Forget

On Facebook YOU are the product and the advertisers are the customers

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How practical is an electric car in London?

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Re: On Street Parking

I know some people put extremely loud systems in their car but to ban In Car Entertainment is a bit draconian.

Oh, wait ...

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Scott McNealy to caddie for 18-year-old son at US Golf Open

Peter Clarke 1

Re: Maverick?

Maybe a friend of Senor Vinales. He openly admits to being a fan of the film. His son is going great guns in Moto 2

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James Bond producers sign on for Edward Snowden movie

Peter Clarke 1

Plot Line

He's a computer nerd who gets the content of the NSA computer into his head. He's protected by two agents, one a very sexy blonde. He spends his time foiling dastardly plots by the evil organisation inside the CIA/NSA.

Oh, wait, the writers want the script for Chuck back!!

Mmmmm, Yvonne Strahovski on the big screen- I'd pay to see that

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$180,000 buys you lunch with Tim Cook as charity auction ending

Peter Clarke 1

Surprise For Tim

If Tim thinks he's heard the last from Carl Ichan then he's mistaken. There won't be any making faces to the flunkies when they have to meet face to face instead of on the phone.

Now, Tim, about that deal I proposed .........

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Yosemite National Park bans drones

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Future Bans

Do plans for the future include a ban on jet boots and shuttle craft????

Oh, wait.....

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Monkey steals iPod touch, loses interest in minutes

Peter Clarke 1
Happy

Further News ....

The keepers are puzzled by an unexpected delivery of bananas and other exotic fruit by the local supermarkets on-line division

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Apple to grieving sons: NO, you cannot have access to your dead mum's iPad

Peter Clarke 1

Re: Worse to come...

Wasn't that the nub of the false Bruce Willis story a year or two ago??

I would've thought Apple would be able to tally the iPad serial number to the iTunes account in a few clicks. Never mind the courts, go straight to BBC Watchdog and have it plastered across prime time TV then see just how quick it gets sorted

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NYPD dons Google tech specs: Part man. Part machine. All Glasshole

Peter Clarke 1

Obligatory Robocop quote

Who care if it works? Think of the spares and maintenance contracts!

Never a truer word spoken by Dick Jones, VP Omni Consumer Products

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NASA probe orbiting Moon sights ANOTHER SPACECRAFT

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Picture Enhancement

In the early CSI episodes they used the phrase 'I have a friend at NASA with an algorithm that will clean this up'

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Good news: 'password' is no longer the #1 sesame opener, now it's '123456'

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Password Length

On one site I tried to use PENIS.

It told me it wasn't long enough

I like to get these old jokes back out into the community

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Snowden docs: NSA building encryption-cracking quantum computer

Peter Clarke 1
Big Brother

Who'll be using it

It will be all right unless all this computing power falls in to the hands of people we can't trust.

Oh, hang on a minute .........

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Aussie boffins can detect orbiting SPACE JUNK using rock gods' radiation

Peter Clarke 1
Mushroom

Not Possible in the UK

...... when (if?) we go over to DAB! Who would have thought the dross that passes for the majority of UK radio could be the savior of space tavel

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Facebook makes Adobe fans change their horrible, horrible passwords

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Go All The Way

Facebook might as well go all the way and insist on changing your password every month. Just think of the amount of work that will get done when people can't remember their new password and can't log in to FB :)

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The TRUTH about mystery Trojan found in SPAAACE

Peter Clarke 1

Re: Bah!

I would have thought anyone clever enough to go to the ISS would voluntarily have all their data storage scanned. Knowing you've just borked the atmosphere scrubber whilst sorting your mp3s should focus the mind.

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Obama to Merkel: No Americans are listening to you on this call

Peter Clarke 1
Big Brother

Equal Opportunities

Did the German spooks find out their leader was compromised when they sifted through the data provided to them by the NSA???

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You thought slinging Photoshop into the cloud would fail? Look who's laughing NOW

Peter Clarke 1

Turn the Dial

When will they do a Google and turn up the dial on the machine to generate a higher return per customer to compensate for this drop in revenue??

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Doctors face tribunal over claims of plagiarism in iPhone app

Peter Clarke 1
Mushroom

Biggest Worry

They're not bothered about being struck off by the BMI, they're most worried about the punishment Apple will dish out for a false review!!!

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Obama proposes four-point plan to investigate US data spooks

Peter Clarke 1

Another Yes Minister Quote

What;s the point in having an inquiry if you don't already know the outcome?

Same old, same old ...

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BYOD for our staff? 'Career limiting' move, says Dell exec

Peter Clarke 1
Big Brother

BYOD desire

I thought biggest proponentsof BYOD were the senior managers who had brought their son/daughter to work and had an ESSENTIAL need to access Facebook/Twitter/Youtube/BBM

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Apple can't dump Samsung, it needs those iPad displays – report

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Re: new format

Samsung or LG ?????

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Silicon Valley Cisco reseller charged with $37 million fraud

Peter Clarke 1

My Fair Share

Looks like an (ex?)employee wasn't getting what they considered their cut. A bit hard on the employees who weren't in on the shceme

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Star Wars missile intercept fails for fifth year running

Peter Clarke 1

OCP

Who cares if it works? Think of the spares and maintenance contracts for years to come

Dick Jones, VP Omni Consumer Products

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Intel rumored to plunk $10bn down for Israeli fab expansion

Peter Clarke 1
Facepalm

Re: they deserve it

Fairly sure that non-kosher bacon was not involved

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REVEALED: Google's GINORMOUS £650m London Choc Factory

Peter Clarke 1
Facepalm

Retro Look

Looks like 9 60s/70s TV sets on end. Not even widescreen

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Reseller Computacenter LITERALLY smokes out squatters from offices

Peter Clarke 1
Flame

Re: That trick could be dangerous

No mention is made of whether the Fire Brigade attended. I hope Computacenter were charged (monetarily and legally) if they did

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Hm, disk drive maker, what's that smell lingering around you?

Peter Clarke 1
FAIL

Reliability??

Been hearing reports of early failure of SSDs- they just fail with no warning as well. Just a bad batch? I've not yet heard of any method of data recovery from a failed SSD. I'm not ready to write off SATAs just yet

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Oracle, SAP under attack: How cloud upstarts steal their lunch

Peter Clarke 1
WTF?

Bad Business Model

---NetSuite's revenue for 2012 was up 30 per cent year on year to $308.82m, although it made a net loss of $35.23m, slipping slightly further into the red from 2011's $32m loss. Salesforce's revenue for the year ended 31 January 2013 was $3bn, up 35 per cent year on year, although it made a loss of $270m, surpassing the previous 12 months' $11m loss.--

Have these companies made a profit on previous years?? Wil the bubble burst in the next dotcom crash??

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Combover King Donald Trump: 'I miss Steve Jobs'

Peter Clarke 1
Thumb Up

Another Operation

maybe when having his hair done he should have his hands reduced to Porn Star size. These make 'objects' held appear bigger than they are

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Blackstone gives up on $25bn bid to snatch Dell from Mr Dell

Peter Clarke 1

Re: Don't believe it

Or convince the shareholders the the Mickey D offer is the only one going. For a 'consultancy fee' of course

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Google patent filing suggests Glass will be ULTIMATE REMOTE

Peter Clarke 1
Mushroom

Add Ons

Will we be able to get the thermal/UV filters and the shoulder-mounted plasma cannon??

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Colombian boffins reconstruct flight path of Russian meteor

Peter Clarke 1
Mushroom

Testing, Testing ..

That was only a ranging shot. One long, one short and then Footfall will hit its intended target

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BBC's new bosses - the lawyers - strike out Savile probe testimony

Peter Clarke 1
Devil

Oh, wow! Rupert Murdoch is a subscriber ti The Register.

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Chinese PLA soldiers 'mastermind cyber-espionage Cold War'

Peter Clarke 1
Mushroom

Obligatory Movie Quote

'You know who ya gonna answer to? The Coca Cola company!'

Major Bat Guano, Dr Strangelove

Will we be seeing a soft drinks gap emerge with the commies????

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Superbowl blackout was a stuff-up, not Anonymous

Peter Clarke 1
Stop

Re: Best part of the game

It could happen for 3/4 of a F1 race an no-one would notice, just keep showing the same lap over and over again.

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Cable Cowboy lassoes Virgin Media with HUGE £15bn deal

Peter Clarke 1
Windows

TV Advert

Good, we won't get to see Richard in those stupid adverts. Or maybe it can take the GoCompare route and save the nation from him.

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Boffins spot planet that could support life... just 12 light years away

Peter Clarke 1
Alert

Re: Looks like Pete Cooke

Damn, beat me to it!

12 light years? If we start now we might get there before the end of the world. Oh, wait ......

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Harley allows Apple to use 'Lightning' brand on 'playthings'

Peter Clarke 1
Childcatcher

Prior Use

Lockheed and English Electric/BAC must be worried about the knock on the door

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Galapagos islands bombed with 22 tonnes of Blue Death Cornflakes

Peter Clarke 1
Devil

Next Novel

James Herbert is considering setting his next novel in the SOuth Pacific

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Black Ops 2 blunder has Mass Effect on buyers

Peter Clarke 1
Black Helicopters

Plan B

For special forces when the plan goes out the window then it;s 'Improvise, Soldier, Improvise!'

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Boffins prescribe SNAKE VENOM as future pain killer

Peter Clarke 1
Devil

New Process

They could make the factory in a decommisioned military base, make the snakes grow to giant size and super intelligent before extracting the venom. What could possibly go wrong??

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Dredd movie review

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Disappointing

I KNEW you were going to say that

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Bitcoin exchange shuts after heist

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

New Job

Another ex-member of the RBS IT Team surfaces with a new job.

Sorry, used that joke before, getting my coat now

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Bruce Willis didn't Buy Hard: His girls can't inherit his iTunes

Peter Clarke 1

Probable Outcome

I can see this being settled out of court. I assume Bruce can afford to hire top class lawyers that would give Apple a run for their money and I'm sure they wouldn't want to set a precedent if they lost.

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PayPal co-founder sells out of foundering Facebook at VAST profit

Peter Clarke 1
WTF?

Puzzled

Just who is buying these shares now the price has plunged? Are they expecting a rally on the price or just getting razor thin margins when selling on?

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Surfing ROBO-shark hunter stalks great whites along US coast

Peter Clarke 1
Devil

Trouble Brewing ...

... if the team leader says 'We're gonna need a bigger buoy!'

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