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* Posts by eezatehgeeza

42 posts • joined 30 Jun 2009

Apple bags top Windows feature: Blue Screen Of Death arrives on iPhone 5S

eezatehgeeza

Address space, not RAM.

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WHY didn't Microsoft buy RIM? Us business blokes would have queued for THAT phone

eezatehgeeza
WTF?

Sorry?

"Consumer smartphones are the handheld redheaded stepchild and should be treated with the same level of disdain in a corporate environment."

Seriously?

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Zynga banks fluke profit - won't happen again, says CEO

eezatehgeeza

monthly unique paying players earnings targets...

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Web minister Maria Miller: UK WILL hit 2015 broadband target

eezatehgeeza
Meh

Re: Maria Miller Has no experience in telephony or networking

Rather:

Maria Miller is a politician - and I have no confidence in politicians...

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Falling slinky displays slow-motion causality

eezatehgeeza
Happy

Re: Seems overcomplicated

"yes, but only if distracted at the right moment."

A can of Greek olive oil and a bottle of retsina!

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Survey: Win8 only HALF as popular as Win7 among IT bosses

eezatehgeeza

Re: Mr Custard...

I think you might find Monkeys' are more intelligent than you imply they are.

It is the relevance to what you do in a business that SHOULD account for 100% of your business choices. We have:

A media department that love it, but would rather stick with their Mac/iPad/iPhones...

A customer facing service-desk that see it as pointless trash on a screen that needs to hold loads of easy to read/interpret and update information about the customer and their {insert your product/service here} - using one of those terribly outdated, un-hip, ugly HID's* - THE KEYBOARD - as typing detail on a screen about {insert your business process here} can often bleed two felling missed drakes - leading to awkward moments later on in our relationship with them. Not to mention it being a lot slower!

I could go on, but I am boring even myself...

And finally, an IT department that ask our customer what THEY want!!!

*Really, you are on El Reg and you need this expanding?

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eezatehgeeza
Stop

Re: Get over it

Do you do a lot of predictions for MS operating systems success??? ...

Microsoft really should have made Windows 8 BUSINESS a business OS not a frikkin Tomy "Play to Learn" toy. Then taken that pile of crap Tomy interfarce and slapped it onto the phone/tablet/slate!

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Apple eyes $$$ iDevice adapter bonanza

eezatehgeeza
Headmaster

Re: fanboi tax @dougal83 @shagbag

ofc - you meant "temerity"!

1
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Google offers I/O tickets to atone for Code Jam snafu

eezatehgeeza
Mushroom

Oops...

At least you get the chance of a ticket... Who could've been sure otherwise... ...

Take cover............

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Hackers penetrate smut site, claim to have slurped users' privates

eezatehgeeza
Holmes

Couldn't help a huge lol...

I have NEVER seen so many comments from "Anonymous Coward"s

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Apple strangleholds worldwide battery output

eezatehgeeza
Holmes

Huh?

You don't understand the need to be ultra-cool^H^H^H^Hthin? (Oh how cheesy is the old ^H?)

Spending to shrink; compromising to concentrate; coughing up to compromise....

Oh - erm; colour me embarrassed, but I agree with you... Wholeheartedly... "They" are a toy. BUT, too many peeps lurve expensive toys - sadly!

4
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Naked cyclist streaks through Suffolk village

eezatehgeeza
Thumb Up

Here here!

You said it all - which sort of makes this post pointless... Oh!

4
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Elite coder readies £15 programming gadget for schools

eezatehgeeza
Pint

Cease the No Network Bleating...

Follow the raspberrypi link and all becomes clear... It has 1 USB port - add a USB hub and a USB2Ethernet...

>> The cause of, and solution to, all life's problems...

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Welsh baby-kisser's tweet sets him back £53k

eezatehgeeza
Joke

It's a Lawyer...

I'd do it pro bono...

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How to make power conversion less sucky

eezatehgeeza

The car runs on switched DC...

Perhaps there was a little fail on the explaination in the article and it is the DC switching that will be more efficient using this companies expertise??

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Official: music is a brain stimulating drug

eezatehgeeza
Alert

Oh my lord no - If they ban music...

There will only be things like Justin Beaver [sic] left!!!

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Who will rid me of these obsolete PCs?

eezatehgeeza
Thumb Up

I remember...

Back in the day upgrading from an old IBM S36 - bigger than a chest freezer the thing was - the company (who I shall refrain from naming...) disposed of the huge chunk of metal for us - minus the 35kg each HDDs for reconditioning. When asked what was to be done with it, I was told they leave this kind of stuff outside the back door overnight and it would disappear!

Job done.

4
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In-flight fight for stubborn iPhone-loving teen

eezatehgeeza
FAIL

Surely...

...the correct response to being within 3ft of Mandy is to hit him. A double fail in my - often not very - humble opinion. :-D

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Oracle claims trademark on Hudson open source

eezatehgeeza

So...

Duh-son?

Time for a Psycho-axe-wielding Ellison icon?

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MS freebie anti-virus scanner auto-downloads provoke more anger

eezatehgeeza
Paris Hilton

Is it just me or...

Do you find it ironic that MS expend effort on writing AV software that, to a degree, defends their OS's security issues.

A bit like putting tape over cracks in plaster when you are painting!

Paris? I just haven't used her in a while...

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PARIS in 89,000 ft climax

eezatehgeeza
Grenade

I tried...

but my head exploded...

Lagrangian points refer to the point at which you become stationary between two sources of gravity? Too much shellabratin I thinks.

"To go boldly" and all that.

(I don't like to randomly split my inifinitives!)

Awww f...

0
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Hot babes discriminated against by some employers

eezatehgeeza
WTF?

Ermmm...

"...prison guard (presumably in a men's prison)"

Is that some Victorian values peeping out from your "pen"? Lesbianism does not exist? Women are not allowed the opportunity to find women attractive?

We are not amused.

From "literature" I have experienced during my life, it apparently does exist - thank-Sappho!

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Southpaws up in arms over iPhone 4

eezatehgeeza
Coat

Perfect solution!

Wear latex (or a synthetic alternative) gloves. This will stop you shorting the contacts and allow you to "safely" commit crimes to pay for your Jobs habit...

Mines the one with someone else's wallet in the pocket...

2
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eezatehgeeza
Joke

I suppose...

You have video on your phone!

4
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Japanese police cuff Hentai smut scam suspects

eezatehgeeza
Coffee/keyboard

I lulz

"The long tentacle of the law"

Wonderful byline.

0
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Oz government in filter paranoia meltdown

eezatehgeeza
Big Brother

Cuckoo...

..."I'm not just talking about one person, I'm talking about everybody! I'm talking about form! I'm talking about content! I'm talking about interrelationships! I'm talking about God, the Devil, Hell, Heaven! Do you understand? Finally?"

0
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Wobbly drive array problems? This'll stiffen your rack

eezatehgeeza
Headmaster

It makes the data...

100% (stop) then 100% (reverse - ie Write) then 50% slow read!

Isn't it knobvious!

Why do people insist on using % like this? Like saying if you take the Pill perfectly you have a 0.1% chance of becoming pregnant. In normal, imperfect use it is 5%. A 5000% increase? NO! a 4.9% increase.

Argh.

(I reserve the right to be totally wrong!)

0
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Bear and Monkey smack Apple with patent suit

eezatehgeeza
Black Helicopters

Very...

Interesting...

0
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Apple shrugs to iPad Wi-Fi problems

eezatehgeeza
Headmaster

Try re-doing the math

0.33%

OK, not that much better!

0
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Child abuse frame-up backfires on stalker

eezatehgeeza
FAIL

Epic

pmsl!

0
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Million pound Usenet indexer found guilty

eezatehgeeza
FAIL

QQsnet!

This is plain wrong! Surely? Am I the only one to think this stinks?

On the upside:

A spokeswoman for the MPA said it was not about to go to war with search engines like Google...

Because that would be a bucket of FAIL!

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Pandora plus Endor: Multi hab-moon motherworld discovered

eezatehgeeza
Boffin

Oh shit!

My nose is bleeding!

0
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eezatehgeeza
Coat

Used ""my"" head...

Google, Reg and "other" research materials plus Excel yielded the "facturd" that any ship would have to travel at approx. 565,718,840 Brontosauruses/second to make it there in the same time it took the "ISV Venture Star" to make it to Pandora!!!!

Yes - work finishes in 5...4...

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eezatehgeeza
Alien

Parsec hmmm...

I wonder how many Brontosauruses (Brontosaurii?) there are in a parsec?

0
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Florida woman prangs car while shaving her privates

eezatehgeeza
Happy

/facepalm

omg no!

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WALL-E spaceliner smart hoverchairs debut in Japan

eezatehgeeza
Headmaster

PC?

surely with "differently-youthful" in there, it should also read "otherwise-abled"?

1
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Government outlines five year IT strategy

eezatehgeeza
FAIL

WTF!

"...pointed to web 2.0, cloud computing and service oriented architecture as areas for exploitation..."

Give me a frikkin break - they can't even get a #*&#ing database / website / IT policy right, never mind Web 2.schmo / (head in the) Cloud computing. They simply don't know their SaaS from their fekking elbows!

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Why Microsoft's IE 9 will frustrate standards fans

eezatehgeeza
Happy

@Winkypop

A voice of reason amongst so much noise.

0
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Number of local council snoopers clipped

eezatehgeeza
Big Brother

@Steve X

"Let me guess, we'll see a sudden flowering of new roles such as Director of Public Waste Collection, Director of Educational Entitlement, etc?"

Director of Public Waste Collection = Director of Public Works

They already exist... Do they actually say how many directors there already are?

0
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Female fruitbat fellatio frenzy: 70% give head

eezatehgeeza
Paris Hilton

You showing your hand there?

"...until now, the only species known to indulge in oral sex were bonobo monkeys and some humans:..."

That sounds like a dig at your other half to me ;-)

Paris for obvious reasons!

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'Stop NASA bombing the Moon!'

eezatehgeeza
Alien

The Word According to the Shatner...

Oh, him? He's harmless. Part of the free speech movement at Berkeley in the sixties. I think he did a little too much LDS.

0
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An American Werewolf returns to London

eezatehgeeza
Stop

Something to comfort all..

A little aside:

My good friend told me about the Dune remake travesty and before I collapsed sobbing he sent me a little mantra I wish to share with you all that saved me going emo on my life:

I must not watch remakes

remakes are the mind killer

remakes are the little-death that brings total obliteration

I will face these imposters

I will permit them to run in cinemas and for me to ignore them

and when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see it's path

where the duplicate has gone there will be nothing

only the original will remain

Thank-you with all of my heart Gumph.

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