34 posts • joined 29 Jun 2009
Mainframe programmer joke.
Why do programmers confuse Christmas and Halloween?
Because OCT 31 = DEC 25
When I started on DMIV hierarchical databases running on GCOS 8 the above was considered extremely funny.
Re: Enjoy it while it lasts
Tommy Jenkins? It's Tommy Atkins you're looking for.
Re: It's no really an issue is it?
You didn't read to the end of that post, did you?
"Apple makes you go to the shop and get one from their drawer."
Re: Out-sourcing is bad
Of course he's joking, he used the term "project manager".
Fireball the bastard
Then tuck in.
Woohoo! Want one for Christmas
Sir Terry and Neil Gaiman in one reference, good work
That'll be the sleep deprivation.
It can really fuck you up.
"I'm not comfortable with it at all and I think trying to save money due to the death of someone's family member or friend is a bit sick."
Said the funeral director. But making a living off the death of someone's family member or friend is fine?
Outsourcing, lovely, 'sorry that's not in the contract, mm, yes we can do it but that will be £5000 please.'
Other than that, just go Margaret. Please.
Still, 11 hits from a what, 30 round magazine?
That's pretty good shooting with an automatic.
Sorry, coat, thanks, the one with 'tasteless bastard' written on the back.
Sort Of Makes Sense...
If you read the add,
The Engineer will also be responsible for Supporting maintaining and troubleshooting the clients hosting environment, network, IP traffic and sewers
As to why they'd want a combined Linux admin and sanitation engineer I've no idea.
Need I say more.
Always liked lady bumps.
Just because you can do something....
Doesn't make it a good idea.
Respect the jubs.
Well done that woman.
We Are Not Worthy.
'Scuse me while I go cry in my beer.
I tip my hat to you....
bumwad tech supremo, ecologically sound cleftwipe products.
Class. Absolute class. Was it Lewis?
None of that tinned crap thank you.
If ours are anything to go by it would have to be chicken, prawns, mince beef or melon.
We worry about Lenny sometimes.
Pride Comes Before A Fall......
'is also very easily worked around for those of us who neither make mistokes'
Damn fine work Pete, you can take your foot out of your mouth now.
Title says it all. I'm a simple soul, easily pleased.
Slightly Off Topic.
My A level maths teacher was a tall thin scottish nun who always made me, Mark, Robin and John sit at the back during double maths on a Friday afternoon. We finally asked her why she did this on a week long retreat at a monastery called Kintbury in the South of England. Her answer was, 'If you're all sat at the back I can't smell your breath so i don't have to raise your drinking as a disciplinary issue'.
Always had a lot of respect for Sister *** after that, especially when she demonstrated she could drink us all under the table while we were at the retreat.
God bless you Sister, wherever you are now.
Workaround <> Fix
They don't know what's going on do they? So instead of fixing the problem they bodge it. FFS they've had 4 years to work out what's going on. Numpties. And God help Mr and Mrs Martin if they ever ring the police because they need them.
Wanders off muttering to self in search of more beer......
Manchester On Fire for ID Cards?
Seriously, I live and work in Manchester and I haven't come across anybody saying they're going to get an ID card. The usual response when you ask people about ID cards is either:
a) No thanks, I know who I am
b) What, you need a passport to get an ID card? Then WTF do I need an ID card for?
This government is a bunch of fucking not rights if you ask me.
'just as you would struggle with more than a dram or 2 or bog standard 12 year old malt.'
This is a Register article written by Lewis Page, there might have been a touch of sarcasm involved in the violent games/movies -> violent behaviour link.
Just possibly, Ok?
Always climb the tree on the opposite side to where the nettles are growing. Trust me on this.
To quote from the article,
'Having said all this, the possibility exists that it will work some day.'
I also think you'll find the George Smith in question is an American.
Umm, that would be the famous quote where the U-Boat captain demands
'Your name will also go on the list! What is it?'
of the singer of
'Whistle while you work, Hitler is a twerp, he's half-barmy, so's his army, whistle while you work!'
and Mainwaring shouts 'Don't tell him Pike'
You can look it up on the internets you know.
Ok, who's playing silly buggers?
This sounds positively sensible.
From a politician.
And I haven't been drinking.
Soup and Sandwiches?
Pointless in her case. Steak and kidney pudding, mushy peas, chips and gravy twice a day for a month and there may be some hope.
Stay away from my missus.
No thanks, bring on the chubby birds!
- Analysis iPhone 6: The final straw for Android makers eaten alive by the data parasite?
- First Crack Man buys iPHONE 6 and DROPS IT to SMASH on PURPOSE
- First Fondle Register journo battles Sydney iPHONE queue, FONDLES BIG 'UN
- TOR users become FBI's No.1 hacking target after legal power grab
- Vid Reg bloke zips through an iPHONE 6 queue from ZERO to 60 SECONDS