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* Posts by Nick 10

31 posts • joined 29 Jun 2009

Och aye! It's the Loch Ness Monster – but only Apple fanbois can see it

Nick 10

It could be an 'artifact' left there by the mapping supplier in order to trace who steals their maps. There's a lot of paper maps with cartographer's follies which can be used to prove that a map was copied, such a s a non-existent bend in a road.

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Blighty goes retro with 12-sided pound coin

Nick 10

If there's a competition to design the tails side, where do I enter my Goatse inspired design?

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Terminator-style robot busts leg in martial arts demo mishap

Nick 10
Terminator

HKU

Am I the only one that read HKU and thought it must mean Hunter Killer Unit?

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NYC attorney seeks mobe-makers' help to curb muggings

Nick 10

Upgrade Path

Do they have statistics on how many phones were 'stolen' just so the owner can get the shiny new model? Is there a spike of thefts just as the new model is released?

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That horrendous iPhone empurplement - you're holding it wrong

Nick 10

if they made the body of the phone slightly thicker, then they could include some sort of hood around the camera lens to eliminate lens flare.

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Death Star SUCKS PLASMA FROM SUN in NASA riddle vid

Nick 10

Re: Future Microsoft EULA

Surely that should be the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation, rather than Microsoft?

If you have any complaints, go stick your head in a pig!

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Xeroxiraptor: Boffins to print 3D robot dinosaur

Nick 10

"Rise Of The Machines" and "Can They Open Doors" combined? I for one welcome our robotic dino-overlords!

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StreetView disappears Dutch office tower

Nick 10

Metadata

Google could really do with easy to find metadata about their streetview and sattelite imagery. I can only judge this locally based on what cars my neighbours own, when the builders spilt that paint on the road etc.

Knowing when a streetview photo was taken would make it a lot easier for businesses to judge what the site conditions are like without having to drag ourselves out of the office for a site visit. Don't google know how useful this free resource is to some of us?

I had to google the EQNZ as well. It wouldn't have hurt to write "New Zealand Earthquake" would it? Just so the rest of the world could understand.

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Juror jailed for looking up rape defendant on Google

Nick 10

I don't know how she can claim "I didn't realise it was wrong.". When I did jury service, we were told once by the usher, by the judge at the start of the trial, and again by the judge before being sent home "Don't discuss the trial with anyone other then the rest of the jury, and don't look it up on the internet, facebook or twitter." You'd really have to struggle to not understand that.

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NASA confirms first Earth candidate in habitable zone

Nick 10

Let's send 3 Arks

The main question is: Who can we send on the "B" Ark?

My vote is for all reality TV stars, and the producers of them.

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Boffin's bot spots red light jumpers before they kill

Nick 10

Spikes

Why not just get the traffic lights to raise a large barrier of spikes when the lights turn red. Red light runners will then be faced with the choice of stop, or impale themselves on a large bed of spikes. There may be a few incidents until people get it into their heads that driving needs consideration for others and your full attention, rather than concentrating on sending a text to your mates. Call it natural selection.

Obviously, it'd mean that emergency services vehicles, who are allowed to treat red lights as give way signs when using lights and sirens, would need some form of controller to lower the barriers when they are on a shout.

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LOHAN fondles substantial concrete buttocks

Nick 10
Paris Hilton

I call "Shenanigans!"

How come the ample buttocks are casting the same shadows as the virtually flat blocks they've replaced? Is this another moon landing style conspiracy?

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Nazi Star Trek episode finally broadcast in Germany

Nick 10

What About Fawlty Towers?

Apparently, "Don't mention the war" is the only Fawlty Towers episode which wasn't shown in Germany.

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New pics of giant black sphere hurtling toward Earth

Nick 10

Blackness

It won't be as black as priests' socks. It's probably just very very very dark blue.

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'OH WOW. OH WOW. OH WOW'

Nick 10

Star Wars error

Han didn't use his light sabre - he used Luke's. As a non-Jedi, Han thought "Hookey religons and ancient weapons are no match for a blaster by your side."

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Vegas man begs web for $1m to fix gigantic scrotum

Nick 10

Shouldn't his name be Buster Gonad?

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NASA's Stardust set to 'burn to depletion'

Nick 10

SunDive Tour 2011

I think they should paint it completely black, and then fly it into the heart of the nearest star. Although with just between 2 and 10 minutes of burn time left, that might not be enough.

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Facebook offers 500 million users SSL crypto

Nick 10

Over their heads?

Let's try and remember they're facebook users. A lot of them won't have the attention span to read as far as paragra...hey, look! a butterfly!

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$1,000 reward offered for stolen cancer research laptop

Nick 10
FAIL

Did you miss the "Stolen" bit

Did you miss the bit where it said it was stolen?

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Called 999 recently? They've got your number

Nick 10

But the non-emergency number isn't

If you'd read a bit further up on the post you quoted, you'd have noticed the:

"I've called my local non-emergency number a few times to report the odd thing here and there"

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Enormous 1km ice-cube machine fashioned at South Pole

Nick 10

Haven't they seen AVP?

Fools! They've drilled deep into the Antarctic ice? Next thing they'll be finding an ancient pyramid buried down there.

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British lags less chatty on mobiles

Nick 10

What about the charger?

Phones are getting easier to hide, but the chargers are still (comparatively) pretty hefty.

Reminds me of Shameless where Paddy's hiding the phone and charger for Mimi to smuggle into prison - "Right, that's the phone, now for the charger".

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Libya applies secret sharia to block sexy URL shortener

Nick 10

They don't need a reason

As everyone who has ever worked in Libya knows: "This Is Libya".

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Spuds for laptop fraudsters strike in Huntingdon

Nick 10
FAIL

£650

Who on earth buys an obviously stolen laptop for £650? You could buy a decent spec new one, with a box and warranty for that.

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Hull man guilty of snooping on hundreds of medical records

Nick 10

This is what happens

When you restrict people's internet access at lunchtimes. They have nothing better to do, and can't look on spacebook, so they idly flick through random women's medical records. If they'd have let him browse porn at luncthime, there'd be no problem.

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'World's largest' airship inflated in colossal Alabama cowshed

Nick 10

Buoyancy compensation

Surely the easiest way to do this would be to pump some of the gas out of the flexible tank (thus reducing volume) and into storage cylinders (thus maintaining mass). This would increase the density of the aircraft, and allow it to sink.

Can I patent this idea?

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'World's largest' IT catalog open to view

Nick 10

3000 servers you didn't know about

Means that the BOFH has been selling your bandwidth to your next door neighbour's datacentre.

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YouTube saves dumb children from offensive content

Nick 10

This is good (for me)

My kids like to watch videos on youtube, usually with me aswell, but as a parent, it's really annoying when they are watching an innocuous vido about Club Penguin puffles or something only to see a comment right underneath it of "Dude, this Club penguin **** sucks ***** you f***** a****h****"

(without the asterisks). So having the comments hidden by default, and swear filtered automatically means they're less likely to turn and ask me "Daddy, what does F.... mean?". I'm under no illusion that this will be wrapping them in cotton wool, but it'll help them accidentally seeing this sort of thing whilst browsing.

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BT Tower restaurant reborn for Olympics

Nick 10

Secret

You forgot to mention in the history section, that the location of the tower was an official secret until 1993, and was not shown on ordnance survey maps.

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Smoking iMac caught on camera

Nick 10
FAIL

Actions in the event of fire

Sensible person:

Unplug machine (if you can get to the plug without endangering yourself)

Empty contents of CO2 extinguisher into ventilation slots

Call fire brigade (unless you're very confident that it's completely out)

Fanboi:

Think "Oh wow! I'll just grab my iPhone and video it so I can be an internet hero"

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NASA reacquires original Moon landing footage

Nick 10

Re: Lost, but now I'm found

Of course it's always in the last place you look! Only a complete idiot would carry on looking after they'd found it!

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