* Posts by Pete65

180 posts • joined 26 Jun 2009

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Free Windows 10 upgrade: Time is running out... should you do it?

Pete65
Trollface

New command line properties!

Well, that's ok then. Why weren't we told about this sooner? I shall sell my soul to Microsoft immediately.

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BMW web portal vulns pose car hack risk – researchers

Pete65

Re: Technology, eh?

Well, at least you won't contribute significantly to global warming.

Are you kidding me? The last Allegro I owned left a cloud of smog behind it that would put a VW to shame. That said, that was just before two conrods and associated parts exited through the side of the crankcase.

There was a reason they earned the nickname "All Aggro" ...

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Pete65
Alert

Technology, eh?

This is exactly why my next 'new' car will be an Austin Allegro or Escort Mk III from fleaBay.

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Bill Gates cooks up poultry recipe for Africans' paltry existence

Pete65
Joke

Automatic Updates.

Just for once, leaving updates enabled would be a bonus - a turkey is much better than a chicken, right?

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SWIFT finally pushes two-factor auth in banks – it only took several multimillion-dollar thefts

Pete65

Horse. Stable door. Bolted.

See title.

It's about bloody time.

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British cops to film you with 59k body-worn cameras by end of year

Pete65
Big Brother

On/Off?

Presumably these cameras can be switched off just prior to the suspect 'falling down the stairs'?

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Microsoft's bigoted teen bot flirts with illegali-Tay in brief comeback

Pete65

I love the inevitability of this - they create something that learns from the internet and get surprised when it learns from the internet...

That's pretty much exactly what I came in here to post, I'd say the project was a complete success.

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Microsoft introduces yet another Skype for Windows 10

Pete65

This time it's a complete Universal app

Sorry, did you mean this time it's complete and utter crap?

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Ofcom should be the BBC's ultimate overlord, UK.gov told

Pete65

Re: Ofcom, as pretty well everyone here knows

could not organize a pissup in a brewery.

No, but when they do, you can guarantee that the BBC will be on hand to report on it.

Badly.

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Oz town suffers hairy panic attack

Pete65
Coat

Hairy Panic

Sounds more like the title of a seventies porn flick.

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Argos offers 'buy now pay in 3 months' deal

Pete65

Meh!

Even if Argos offered a "buy now, pay never" option I still wouldn't buy anything from them. Call me old fashioned, but I much prefer to see what the hell it is I am actually buying in the flesh before I hand over my hard-earned.

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When asked 'What's a .CNT file?' there's a polite way to answer

Pete65

Every bloody time.

Why is it that every time an "On Call" article is published, people feel the need to quote some ancient story as if it actually happened to them?

Go post it on Facebook instead - the idiots there will almost certainly believe it was really you and not the guy that posted it on Usenet years ago.

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Official UN panel findings on embassy-squatter released. Assange: I'm 'vindicated'

Pete65

Re: Pirates have hijacked this 'ere ruckus!

Honestly I don't see how the UN got into this circus....

Presumably because they're a bunch of clowns.

20
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Did you know ... Stephen Fry has founded a tech startup?

Pete65

Re: Stephen Fry picking bad investments? Shirley not!

"He comes across so intelligent on that QI programme, each week repeating mountains of facts, figures and details about things in the world that are whispered in his earpiece by experts."

FTFY.

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BBC News website takes New Year's Eve break

Pete65

That's what they get for insisting you install Flash. Karma's a bitch.

30
1

Microsoft steps up Windows 10 nagging

Pete65

The BBC called, they want their technology journalist back.

Fire up any computer running Windows 7 or 8 and you'll be used to a message or three inviting you to upgrade to Windows 10.

That's a pretty naive statement for a so-called tech rag to make.

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Vodafone slings sueball at Dutch telco alleging anti-competitive conduct

Pete65

Pot. Kettle. Black.

Vodafone's Netherlands' chief, Rob Shuter, said: "KPN has repeatedly failed to deliver on its commitments and has instead seriously abused its dominant position..

As per the title, you couldn't make this shit up.

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Y'know how airlines never explain delays? United's bug bounty works the same way

Pete65

Poor sod.

I'll bet his reward will come in the form of a 'special screening' by the TSA next time he flies anywhere.

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Today's exoplanet weather: 1,000°C, glass rain, 8,700 km/h winds

Pete65

Re: Skeggy

The other major difference being that HD 189733b appears to have an atmosphere.

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Microsoft Windows Mobile 10: Uphill battle with 'work in progress'

Pete65

Huh?

Who releases a work in progress? Oh, wait ...

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TalkTalk offers customer £30.20 'final settlement' after crims nick £3,500

Pete65
FAIL

Re: That Dido photo

Fuck me. Even Theresa May makes an effort.

Please. Do not use 'Fuck me' and 'Theresa May' in the same sentence.

It's not the same sentence, there's a full stop in there.

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Windows 10: Major update on the Threshold as build 10586 hits Insiders

Pete65

Coming soon to a mobile ... near you

We'll see about that.

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Bosch, you suck! Dyson says VW pal cheated in vacuum cleaner tests

Pete65
Alert

In other news.

Manufacturers say their products are better than they really are ...

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Daily Mail caught on hooks of Angler exploit kit

Pete65

The Register has contacted the Daily Mail for comment

But all we got in response was, "It wuz teh immigrunts wot dun it."

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Mozilla to boot all plugins from Firefox … except Flash

Pete65
Facepalm

Re: So no AdBlock, NoScript, or RequestPolicy then

If you don't know the difference between extensions and plugins then you probably shouldn't be using the internet.

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Surface Book: Microsoft to turn unsuccessful tab into unsuccessful laptop

Pete65
Facepalm

I'm confused.

Apparently, the Surface is the tablet that can replace your laptop and now they bring out a laptop?

5
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Pocket mobe butt dialing clogs up 911 emergency calls, says Google

Pete65
Trollface

OMG! Facebook is down!

Oh wait, that's arsehole dialling.

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Rocketeers aim for the Moon with first-stage £600k tin-rattle

Pete65
Happy

You're an alien overlord, use your own damn rocket!

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BBC joins war against Flash, launches beta HTML5 iPlayer

Pete65

Media Playout Product Manager

What the fuck is that for a job title? Typical of the over-inflated BS we come to expect from the Beeb.

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332M Kick Ass pirates get asses kicked by scareware ass-kickers

Pete65

Seriously?

A BSOD in a browser window is tricking people? Anyone that is stupid enough to fall for that deserves all they get.

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Ouch! Microsoft sues recycling firm over 70K stolen Office licenses

Pete65

And here was me thinking that it was only Microsoft that recycled old, shite software ...

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Bug forces Apple to halt watchOS 2 update – still emits iOS 9 on time

Pete65

Innovation at its best.

addition of customization options to set the default screen to a watch face

Wow! A watch face on a watch - that's innovation right there. Apple never cease to amaze me.

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Vanished global warming may not return – UK Met Office

Pete65

Climate != Weather

But yeah, I wouldn't trust the Met Office to reliably predict what day it is tomorrow.

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Half the Fanbois in your office are unpatched ATTACK VECTORS

Pete65

Re: Whoa there!

People who think Android is just a type of phone.

Exactly. These are same people that think the big blue 'e' is the internet.

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British killer robot takes out two Britons in Syria strike

Pete65

At least this saves them from being them arrested and released again on re-entry to the UK when they come back for more benefits.

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Gang charged with $1 MEEELLION MacBook Air heist

Pete65
Joke

$1m worth of MacBook Airs

So, four then?

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Squawk, squawk: Today is Vulture Awareness Day

Pete65
Happy

Re: Have a great day out and support conservation at the same time.

balled eagles

Please don't let that be a typo, you owe me screen wipes!

"Look at the bollocks on that eagle ..."

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Pete65
Joke

23 species of vulture.

You should probably qualify that as the bird kind, PPI scum, ambulance chasers etc. bump that number considerably.

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Bored Brazilian skiddie claims DDoS against Essex Police

Pete65

Alternatively ...

He could just be winding you up.

1
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Ashley Madison hack – Tory MP Green denies registering account

Pete65
Joke

Re: Two MP accounts

Mr Bob Ama? I'm sure I used to be at school with him.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Spanish summer soother salmorejo

Pete65
Thumb Down

So ...

Liquidised tomatoes and bread? Sounds (and looks) disgusting.

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Apple's AirDrop abused by 'cyber-flashing' London train perv

Pete65

Re: Violated from looking at a dick pic?

Nah, if she worked for the Guardian she'd still be trying to figure out what the object in question was.

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Gigabit Google? We're getting ready for 10 gigabits says Verizon

Pete65
Joke

Should be called NG-PORN2.

Let's face it, why else would one need all that speed?

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Google ready for another pop at India, with Android One in hand

Pete65
Meh

Re: Cricket?

Based on my experience of the blinding internet speeds down-under, they will probably regain the Ashes long before the page even loads.

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Virtually no one is using Apple Music even though it is utterly free

Pete65

Please, El Reg ...

Put a stop to this new fad of embedding Twatter comments into articles. If I wanted to read the inane and totally uninformed ramblings of a complete and utter fuckwit, I would sign up for the 'service'.

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Samsung Electronics coughs up £55m for cancer-stricken workers

Pete65

Hard-earned.

Where did Samsung get the money from, dodgy ads?

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Want to avoid a hangover? DRINK MORE, say boffins

Pete65
Pint

No.

If you want to avoid a hangover, you stay drunk. Now, where's my grant for the research programme to prove my theory? I will, of course, need additional test subjects.

Beer icon, because.

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German railways upgrade their comms tech from 2G to 4G

Pete65
Mushroom

Siemens and Huawei.

Both full of malware, I won't be taking a train in Germany again any time soon.

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Hey, Apple! 1999 just called and it wants its voicemail avatar back

Pete65
Joke

Hello.

"Dave can't take your call right now, he's holding me wrong."

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Bacon and egg sushi

Pete65

Going by some of the nights out I've had with customers in that corner of the world I'd say the two are pretty much interchangeable after a good session! There was one particularly heavy episode involving Máotái where that was all I could taste and smell for about three weeks afterwards.

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