* Posts by Pete65

141 posts • joined 26 Jun 2009

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Ashley Madison hack – Tory MP Green denies registering account

Pete65
Joke

Re: Two MP accounts

Mr Bob Ama? I'm sure I used to be at school with him.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Spanish summer soother salmorejo

Pete65
Thumb Down

So ...

Liquidised tomatoes and bread? Sounds (and looks) disgusting.

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9

Apple's AirDrop abused by 'cyber-flashing' London train perv

Pete65

Re: Violated from looking at a dick pic?

Nah, if she worked for the Guardian she'd still be trying to figure out what the object in question was.

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Gigabit Google? We're getting ready for 10 gigabits says Verizon

Pete65
Joke

Should be called NG-PORN2.

Let's face it, why else would one need all that speed?

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Google ready for another pop at India, with Android One in hand

Pete65
Meh

Re: Cricket?

Based on my experience of the blinding internet speeds down-under, they will probably regain the Ashes long before the page even loads.

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Virtually no one is using Apple Music even though it is utterly free

Pete65

Please, El Reg ...

Put a stop to this new fad of embedding Twatter comments into articles. If I wanted to read the inane and totally uninformed ramblings of a complete and utter fuckwit, I would sign up for the 'service'.

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Samsung Electronics coughs up £55m for cancer-stricken workers

Pete65

Hard-earned.

Where did Samsung get the money from, dodgy ads?

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Want to avoid a hangover? DRINK MORE, say boffins

Pete65
Pint

No.

If you want to avoid a hangover, you stay drunk. Now, where's my grant for the research programme to prove my theory? I will, of course, need additional test subjects.

Beer icon, because.

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German railways upgrade their comms tech from 2G to 4G

Pete65
Mushroom

Siemens and Huawei.

Both full of malware, I won't be taking a train in Germany again any time soon.

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Hey, Apple! 1999 just called and it wants its voicemail avatar back

Pete65
Joke

Hello.

"Dave can't take your call right now, he's holding me wrong."

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Bacon and egg sushi

Pete65

Going by some of the nights out I've had with customers in that corner of the world I'd say the two are pretty much interchangeable after a good session! There was one particularly heavy episode involving Máotái where that was all I could taste and smell for about three weeks afterwards.

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Pete65

Obviously your nights out are far too tame.

Put empty frying pan on hob and turn on

Go for a piss

Forget about frying pan

Awake to sound of smoke alarm

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No, Microsoft: Your one-billion Windows 10 goal is just sad ... really sad

Pete65

Correct, that's why fanbois were invented.

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BT hands £129m back to UK.gov after beating rural broadband targets

Pete65

Bollocks.

I can only assume they are talking about rural London.

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Beijing cops' iPhone swoop knocks out counterfeit mobe makers

Pete65
Joke

The fakes are easy to spot.

It doesn't matter how you hold 'em.

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Google to block access to unofficial autocomplete API

Pete65
Joke

Good.

What a c

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a ca

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a cat

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a cata

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a catas

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a catast

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a catastr

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a catastro

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a catastrop

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a catastroph

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a catastrophe!

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

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The Wilson Doctrine isn't legally binding, MPs CAN be spied on, says QC

Pete65

Re: If politicians have nothing to hide...

If politicians have nothing to hide...

What sort of fucked-up world do you live in? Every MP has something to hide.

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Vodafone sales dip, waits for fixed broadband to kick in

Pete65

To be fair, I have rarely had any kind of connection problem with Demon before or after the takeover. That said, I haven't used their mail servers for a quite a while now - they were a bit iffy at the best of times.

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Pete65

Fortunately they haven't broken Demon quite yet - although I've just migrated my mobile phone elsewhere due to their lack of caring, continued price rises and generally shit customer service. I dare say I may require a new ISP at some point in the near future.

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Adobe names ex Microsoft and Oracle bod as cloudy pipe CTO

Pete65
WTF?

Huh?

Adobe already have a 'consistent customer experience' - flawed software.

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Ashley Madison hack: Site for people who can't be trusted can't be trusted

Pete65
Joke

Obligatory ...

I'll bet that wasn't the kind of fucking those people had in mind when signing up ...

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Bill Hicks: 25 years on from the cult comedian's big break

Pete65

An absolute fucking legend.

See title, that is all.

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Feel like you're being herded onto Windows 10? Well, you should

Pete65

Odd.

The article image looks more reminiscent of the queue for the latest iWhatever.

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Sixty-five THOUSAND Range Rovers recalled over DOOR software glitch

Pete65

Re: As I've commented previously

... but has it ever dawned on people how stupidly simple it now is for playing kids to drive away with a car and get themselves in serious danger?

You seem to have mistaken shit parenting for shit software - not that there's any real difference, it's always someone else's fault, right?

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Pete65

Re: Experts?

Not to worry, Adobe will issue a patch ASAP.

Oops, wrong thread, or was it?

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On yer bike: Hammerhead satnav for cyclists – just don't look down

Pete65
Mushroom

It'll never work.

The majority of cyclists won't pull their heads out of their arses long enough to look at it. If (by some miracle) they do, it's a good job those little lights are green because they sure as fuck can't see red ones.

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Papa don't breach: Wannabe singer jailed for hacking Madonna

Pete65
Facepalm

Cloud data is insecure?

Never saw that one coming ...

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Google's Cardboard cutout VR headgear given away GRATIS by OnePlus ... SELLS OUT

Pete65

Please tell me you are joking.

The world is screwed. Idiocracy, anyone?

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Let me PLUG that up there, love. It’s perfectly standaAAARGH!

Pete65

Re: Education

Like making sure that the drainage from the sinks in two adjacent classrooms was adequate to cope with both being emptied at the same time.

This reminds me of a very amusing anecdote from when I was at school and our science labs had a gas tap for a Bunsen burner on every desk. Due to the fact that the gas pressure was lower than the water pressure and non-return valves were not fitted, a few of us soon figured out that a short length of rubber hose between the water and gas taps would turn every Bunsen burner in the classroom block into a water fountain. Those were the days ...

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Wikipedia: YES! we’ve SAVED the INTERNET again!

Pete65

If Wikipedia says so ...

... then it must be true, right?

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Facebook unveils SECRET logo furtle – in a TWEET

Pete65

Time to check the box of fucks that I give ...

Nope, it's empty.

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Microsoft in Blighty reveals its 78 THOUSAND POUND Surface 3 slabloid

Pete65
Coat

I can believe it.

Just one more example of us Brits being continually ripped off for everything.

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Robo-car wars: Delphi's near crash, prang, wallop with Google DENIED!

Pete65

Re: @Carl W - I don't personally agree but...

The IAM does not teach you to slow down for every side turning

No, but riding a motorcycle does.

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Pete65

Obviously.

Well, they would say that, wouldn't they?

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Samsung caught disabling Windows Update to run its own bloatware

Pete65
Joke

In other news.

Microsoft caught enabling Windows Update to run its own bloatware

I'm joking, of course, see icon.

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Courtney Love in the crossfire! Paris turns ugly over Uber

Pete65

Re: Burning Tyres?

Time to think about building another Tunnel ...

No, we should be bricking up the one we already have.

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FLICK my FLINT and SNIFF my TREE on the streets of Naples

Pete65
Headmaster

"to see the city’s most famous sites"

Web sites? Building sites? Or did you mean sights?

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Post-pub nosh neckfillers: Reader suggestions invited

Pete65

Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

I would predict a sudden spate of people with small blisters near the lower lip and chin area.

Yeah, I've taken that kind of woman home after a skinful too.

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Beats loudspeaker silenced by Apple after $3bn buyout, report claims

Pete65

3 BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLION

Shirley?

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INTERNET of BOOBS: Scorching French lass reveals networked bikini

Pete65

Re: The bikini isn't French

if wikipedia is to be believed

And there's where any argument you thought that you had, falls over ...

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Do you use Hola VPN? You could be part of a DDoS, content theft – or worse

Pete65

Coffee --> Screen

People sign up for a free VPN service in Israel and expect a secure service? Humanity is doomed.

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BBC, Facebook steer users to vuln-afflicted Unity Web Player plugin

Pete65

BBC peddling malware?

This simply can't be true, IT "expert" Rory Cellan-Jones would be all over it if this were really the case. Shame on you for suggesting such a thing, El Reg. ;)

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Soon your car won't let you drink. But it won't care if you're on the phone

Pete65

Calibration?

I have no idea how often the intoximeters at the local cop shop need calibrating, but I suspect it's fairly regularly. Who picks up the tab for the calibration of these units? I'm guessing it won't be those that have your (and other people's) welfare at heart, yet more expense for the motorist.

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Spaniard sues eBay over right to sell the Sun

Pete65

Durán hopes the case will "open the door" ...

Aye, to her padded cell.

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A pause in global warming? Pah, FOOLS. There was NO PAUSE

Pete65

Obviously.

Of course they're making shit up, why else would they let the true data intefere with their government grant?

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BOFH: Step into my office. Now take a deep breath

Pete65

"someone who lives in the shadow of their former glories"

So, pretty much every boss I've ever had, except that their "former glories" usually total a big, fat zero.

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KFC takes legal axe to eight-legged mutant chicken claims

Pete65

Eight legs and six wings?

"What does it taste like?"

"Dunno, never managed to catch one."

An old joke, but a good one.

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The oracle knows all. Not THAT Oracle, of course

Pete65

Hmm ...

I much prefer, "Ask a stupid question, expect a punch in the face."

Great article, as always.

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Google DOG WHISTLING fails to send URLs across the room

Pete65

Re: Full circle?

The really sad thing was that, if you played any particular game often enough, you knew when the loading had failed without looking at the screen.

The negotiation tones of my old USR 56k modem still haunt me to this day.

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Reddit: Gonna SCRUB these TROLLS right outa my hair

Pete65

Irony, anyone?

See title.

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