* Posts by Pete65

129 posts • joined 26 Jun 2009

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No, Microsoft: Your one-billion Windows 10 goal is just sad ... really sad

Pete65

Correct, that's why fanbois were invented.

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5

BT hands £129m back to UK.gov after beating rural broadband targets

Pete65

Bollocks.

I can only assume they are talking about rural London.

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Beijing cops' iPhone swoop knocks out 0.00004 of counterfeit mobe market

Pete65
Joke

The fakes are easy to spot.

It doesn't matter how you hold 'em.

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Google to block access to unofficial autocomplete API

Pete65
Joke

Good.

What a c

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a ca

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a cat

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a cata

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a catas

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a catast

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a catastr

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a catastro

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a catastrop

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a catastroph

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

What a catastrophe!

Did you mean 'cat pictures'?

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The Wilson Doctrine isn't legally binding, MPs CAN be spied on, says QC

Pete65

Re: If politicians have nothing to hide...

If politicians have nothing to hide...

What sort of fucked-up world do you live in? Every MP has something to hide.

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Vodafone sales dip, waits for fixed broadband to kick in

Pete65

To be fair, I have rarely had any kind of connection problem with Demon before or after the takeover. That said, I haven't used their mail servers for a quite a while now - they were a bit iffy at the best of times.

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Pete65

Fortunately they haven't broken Demon quite yet - although I've just migrated my mobile phone elsewhere due to their lack of caring, continued price rises and generally shit customer service. I dare say I may require a new ISP at some point in the near future.

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Adobe names ex Microsoft and Oracle bod as cloudy pipe CTO

Pete65
WTF?

Huh?

Adobe already have a 'consistent customer experience' - flawed software.

4
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Ashley Madison hack: Site for people who can't be trusted can't be trusted

Pete65
Joke

Obligatory ...

I'll bet that wasn't the kind of fucking those people had in mind when signing up ...

5
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Bill Hicks: 25 years on from the cult comedian's big break

Pete65

An absolute fucking legend.

See title, that is all.

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Feel like you're being herded onto Windows 10? Well, you should

Pete65

Odd.

The article image looks more reminiscent of the queue for the latest iWhatever.

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Sixty-five THOUSAND Range Rovers recalled over DOOR software glitch

Pete65

Re: As I've commented previously

... but has it ever dawned on people how stupidly simple it now is for playing kids to drive away with a car and get themselves in serious danger?

You seem to have mistaken shit parenting for shit software - not that there's any real difference, it's always someone else's fault, right?

1
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Pete65

Re: Experts?

Not to worry, Adobe will issue a patch ASAP.

Oops, wrong thread, or was it?

5
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On yer bike: Hammerhead satnav for cyclists – just don't look down

Pete65
Mushroom

It'll never work.

The majority of cyclists won't pull their heads out of their arses long enough to look at it. If (by some miracle) they do, it's a good job those little lights are green because they sure as fuck can't see red ones.

3
5

Papa don't breach: Wannabe singer jailed for hacking Madonna

Pete65
Facepalm

Cloud data is insecure?

Never saw that one coming ...

4
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Google's Cardboard cutout VR headgear given away GRATIS by OnePlus ... SELLS OUT

Pete65

Please tell me you are joking.

The world is screwed. Idiocracy, anyone?

2
2

Let me PLUG that up there, love. It’s perfectly standaAAARGH!

Pete65

Re: Education

Like making sure that the drainage from the sinks in two adjacent classrooms was adequate to cope with both being emptied at the same time.

This reminds me of a very amusing anecdote from when I was at school and our science labs had a gas tap for a Bunsen burner on every desk. Due to the fact that the gas pressure was lower than the water pressure and non-return valves were not fitted, a few of us soon figured out that a short length of rubber hose between the water and gas taps would turn every Bunsen burner in the classroom block into a water fountain. Those were the days ...

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Wikipedia: YES! we’ve SAVED the INTERNET again!

Pete65

If Wikipedia says so ...

... then it must be true, right?

3
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Facebook unveils SECRET logo furtle – in a TWEET

Pete65

Time to check the box of fucks that I give ...

Nope, it's empty.

2
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Microsoft in Blighty reveals its 78 THOUSAND POUND Surface 3 slabloid

Pete65
Coat

I can believe it.

Just one more example of us Brits being continually ripped off for everything.

1
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Robo-car wars: Delphi's near crash, prang, wallop with Google DENIED!

Pete65

Re: @Carl W - I don't personally agree but...

The IAM does not teach you to slow down for every side turning

No, but riding a motorcycle does.

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Pete65

Obviously.

Well, they would say that, wouldn't they?

4
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Samsung caught disabling Windows Update to run its own bloatware

Pete65
Joke

In other news.

Microsoft caught enabling Windows Update to run its own bloatware

I'm joking, of course, see icon.

0
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Courtney Love in the crossfire! Paris turns ugly over Uber

Pete65

Re: Burning Tyres?

Time to think about building another Tunnel ...

No, we should be bricking up the one we already have.

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FLICK my FLINT and SNIFF my TREE on the streets of Naples

Pete65
Headmaster

"to see the city’s most famous sites"

Web sites? Building sites? Or did you mean sights?

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Post-pub nosh neckfillers: Reader suggestions invited

Pete65

Re: Cheese and tomato sandwich

I would predict a sudden spate of people with small blisters near the lower lip and chin area.

Yeah, I've taken that kind of woman home after a skinful too.

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Beats loudspeaker silenced by Apple after $3bn buyout, report claims

Pete65

3 BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLION

Shirley?

0
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INTERNET of BOOBS: Scorching French lass reveals networked bikini

Pete65

Re: The bikini isn't French

if wikipedia is to be believed

And there's where any argument you thought that you had, falls over ...

0
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Do you use Hola VPN? You could be part of a DDoS, content theft – or worse

Pete65

Coffee --> Screen

People sign up for a free VPN service in Israel and expect a secure service? Humanity is doomed.

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BBC, Facebook steer users to vuln-afflicted Unity Web Player plugin

Pete65

BBC peddling malware?

This simply can't be true, IT "expert" Rory Cellan-Jones would be all over it if this were really the case. Shame on you for suggesting such a thing, El Reg. ;)

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Soon your car won't let you drink. But it won't care if you're on the phone

Pete65

Calibration?

I have no idea how often the intoximeters at the local cop shop need calibrating, but I suspect it's fairly regularly. Who picks up the tab for the calibration of these units? I'm guessing it won't be those that have your (and other people's) welfare at heart, yet more expense for the motorist.

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Spaniard sues eBay over right to sell the Sun

Pete65

Durán hopes the case will "open the door" ...

Aye, to her padded cell.

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A pause in global warming? Pah, FOOLS. There was NO PAUSE

Pete65

Obviously.

Of course they're making shit up, why else would they let the true data intefere with their government grant?

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BOFH: Step into my office. Now take a deep breath

Pete65

"someone who lives in the shadow of their former glories"

So, pretty much every boss I've ever had, except that their "former glories" usually total a big, fat zero.

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KFC takes legal axe to eight-legged mutant chicken claims

Pete65

Eight legs and six wings?

"What does it taste like?"

"Dunno, never managed to catch one."

An old joke, but a good one.

4
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The oracle knows all. Not THAT Oracle, of course

Pete65

Hmm ...

I much prefer, "Ask a stupid question, expect a punch in the face."

Great article, as always.

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Google DOG WHISTLING fails to send URLs across the room

Pete65

Re: Full circle?

The really sad thing was that, if you played any particular game often enough, you knew when the loading had failed without looking at the screen.

The negotiation tones of my old USR 56k modem still haunt me to this day.

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Reddit: Gonna SCRUB these TROLLS right outa my hair

Pete65

Irony, anyone?

See title.

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For its next trick, Microsoft diminishes the iPad with just a driver

Pete65

Re: Just one problem

Or that IOS is actually designed to be a fully touch screen OS ...

So that's what it was designed for. I thought it was just to turn anyone using it into a self-righteous cunt.

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Apple Watch fanbois suffer PAINFUL RASH after sweaty wristjob action

Pete65

I bought a honey-glazed rack of ribs from the supermarket not long ago, in big letters on the back (yes, you guessed it) - "Warning, may contain bones." You don't fucking say, it'd be a piss poor rack of ribs if it didn't.

As a wise man once said, "I'm not suggesting we kill all stupid people, just take the warning labels off stuff and let Darwin get to work."

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Who was downloading smut in the office while eating ice cream?

Pete65

Metal or plastic spoon???

There is no spoon...

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Windows 10 MURDERED your Lumia? Microsoft says it may have a fix

Pete65
Stop

Updates.

I won't be allowing any Windows 10 updates on my 930. Ever.

It ain't broke - it don't need fixing.

1
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You! GOOGLE! HAND OVER the special SAUCE, says Senate (of France)

Pete65

Re: Competition?

...it disappeared with a whimper...

That's probably for the best, "Quaero it" doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

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Telly chef Jamie Oliver in embarrassing infection double shocker

Pete65

Just drown the server ...

In a gallon or two of olive oil, same as he does with all of his dishes.

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DAMN YOU! Microsoft blasts Google over zero-day blabgasm

Pete65

That's a bit low ...

... even by Google standards.

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Fancy a .trust domain? How's $150,000 sound?

Pete65
Pint

Re: Wonder if ...

It took me a moment but have a beer and an upvote.

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

Pete65
Pint

Thank you.

Less white and red vlinks have made a vast improvement - yeah, I'm easily pleased.

Have a beer or 12 for listening!

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Pete65

Re: For anyone who cares....

Me again. Thanks for reminding me about userContent.css - a quick fiddle removes the whitespace either side of the main div.

@-moz-document domain(theregister.co.uk) {

body {

background-color:#aaa;

}

}

It's a bit rough I know, but at least my eyes have stopped bleeding! As you say though - this really shouldn't be necessary.

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