* Posts by Swarthy

1059 posts • joined 24 Jun 2009

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Why a detachable cabin probably won’t save your life in a plane crash

Swarthy
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Trollface

Re: If weight is such an issue...

Simple: Person plus luggage. Women may weigh less, on average; but we all know that men pack less in their luggage. In terms of gender, it evens out.

Now, this plan does discriminate against techies. We who have to carry around the penalty weight of avoiding exercise being chained to a desk all day and tech gear which can be quite hefty...

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Patent Troll Unit set up by Virginia government to slay lawsuits

Swarthy
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You've seen things people wouldn't believe – so tell us your programming horrors

Swarthy
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WTF?

Re: "Access"? Not in this case.

Worst Access ever was a job I inherited that had to produce financials every year, with a preview every 6 months. The data input was comparatively sane, in that it was a CooldFusion web app that wrote to an Oracle DB. The retrieval... MS Access used ODBC to reach Oracle, it would then kick off VBA functions to create PPT decks based off of a template and then embed Excel spreadsheets into the slides, for graphs and charts. This was all done from inside Access. And then it would generate the actual full-fat document in Word, using another bit of VBA inside the Access "application".

My time was split between actually getting that to not break and agitating for permission to change it - Completely.

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Swarthy
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Re: Dates can be tricky...

PHP does not help make dates less tricky with this little gem either.

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JetBrains announces Project Rider, a cross-platform IDE for C#

Swarthy
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Happy

Re: Sorry....

I wasn't trying to say that they were better languages, or even good, that was the point of including VBA; rather I was pointing out that with the myriad options available for writing malware software for Windows, that case alone is not sufficient to keep a language 'alive'. Pascal was arguably the best language for teaching programming, but that was not enough to keep Pascal from falling by the wayside.

The point of including COBOL.NET is that owing to the plethora of ways to code for Windows, no language ever truly dies. C# may be in for a decline, but it will not be a terminal one. It will always have a place for those that need optimal behaviour in a Windows environment, and also by those who just like it. I know I prefer it to Java, because java is not just hideous on the UI, configuring its build environment can be the stuff nightmares are made of. C# project files in VS takes a large portion of the pain out of configuring build environments.

And I will absolutely agree with you about VS, that is quite possibly the best product MS has ever made.

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Swarthy
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Trollface

Re: Sorry....

The primary space I've seen C# being used is in ASP.Net web applications, those, I feel, are in decline, SharePoint, The Beast That Will Not Die, being the stand-out exception.

For Enterprise Windows Desktop development, that can be a mixed bag of anything, Java, C#, C/C++, VB.Net, VBA, Erlang, COBOL.Net, etc. If you can compile it, it has and will be run on a Windows desktop.

And just about everyone makes a Windows version/compiler for their IDE.

Enterprise Windows Desktops would not be enough to save C#.

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Discworld fans stake claim to element 117

Swarthy
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Devil

Re: Optional

No Opium?

What a shame. I know a guy down at the pub who could do you a deal....

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Swarthy
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Re: Because 117 is a halogen...

...neon, argon, krypton, xenon, radon and <118>.

Octiron. - I wonder if (a hypothetical, stable isotope of) 118 would have a high freezing temperature and form a very dark, almost infra-, black amorphous structure.

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Obama: What will solve America's gun problem? What could it be? *snaps fingers* Technology!

Swarthy
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Re: Huh? (Safeties could be made safer)

Safeties on guns are a lot like condoms.. they only prevent accidents if you use 'em.

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Seagate's new drives are so shiny, we should call them ... bling buffers

Swarthy
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Coat

BPUS pronunciation

I was reading, rather than bagpuss, as BuPUS, or after a few rounds "Bupkis".

It's a shame they went with "Backup Plus Ultra Slim", if they had just re-arrange the wording to "Backup Ultra Plus Slim" We'd have BUPS, which is still ugly, but could lead to "Backup Accent Plus Slim", or BAPS.

Then they would need to release the Backup Accent Compact Online Nexus, an add-on which when combined with the BAPS would make it a wi-fi enabled, uber-portable NAS.

And then we would have a(n even better) reason to read about BACON on BAPS in The Register

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The Register's entirely serious New Year's resolutions for 2016

Swarthy
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Childcatcher

RE: ukgnome

Techies (and their publications) should be obscene and not absurd!

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Periodic table enjoys elemental engorgement

Swarthy
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Re: How about...

But we'd need to know more about their crystalline structure before risking using up that one.

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Cache-astrophic: Why Valve's Steam store spewed players' private profiles to strangers

Swarthy
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Re: Do we have any comment from the ICO?

Probably not, being as Steam is a US Corp (and therefore a person, but that's a rant for a different day) and the ICO is a UK Office. I don't think the ICO will have any more effect on this than the FCC has on UK Cell phone frequencies.

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Would sir care to see the post-pub nosh menu?

Swarthy
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Re: Bravo!

I got a kindle for Crimbo, and Robert's thoughts will be an excellent use for it.

I may also see about snaking the articles and compiling them into some sort of e-cook-book format for my own use, being sure to include the post-pub nosh deathmatches and the recipe for the V2 mead. If I go that far, I'll e-mail the book to Lester as it's his work anyway.

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US Marines kill noisy BigDog robo-mule for blowing their cover

Swarthy
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Re: "Warfighter"?

That's the point of "Warfighter" as a word: they are all soldiers, but the REMFs are not warfighters.

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Christmas comes early at US Patent office after massive IT outage

Swarthy
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Re: Christmas for who?

The IT staff spending this time working like mad...and getting double (holiday+working) time for their pains. I'd say it counts as Christmas for them, too.

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Feds widen probe into lottery IT boss who rooted game for profit

Swarthy
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Devil

This is kind of an eye-opener

"It reaffirms the fact that we've got to be constantly vigilant against people trying to defraud the system." He went on to say "It's the system's job to defraud the people!"

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No, Kim Kardashian's plump posterior's pixels did not break the App Store – just this El Reg man's mind

Swarthy
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Trollface

Re: Kartrashian claims to have broken something...

In her defence, she may have actually thought it was broken, it did have her a crack in it.

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Death Stars are a waste of time – here's the best way to take over the galaxy

Swarthy
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Facepalm

Alternate laws of physics?

I do wonder at the amazing potential of energy weapons in Star Wars. As the article mentioned, (with our laws of physics) a large mass at near-relativistic speeds be far more efficiency than any energy beam. But, what if the SW universe has either a) a higher c or b) runs on a different exponent(e.g.e=mc^4? In the first case, it would be much harder to get a mass up to near relativistic speeds, in the both you would have a lot more energy available for energy weapons.

Or, if we are monkeying around with the basic laws of physics, why not... And I just reminded myself that Star Wars is Science Fantasy; it would be about as feasible to re-create Arisia's Lens as to re-create the main beam of the Death Star.

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Surface Pro 4: Will you go the F**K to SLEEP?

Swarthy
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So it's a bit restless?

You should load this into its memory.

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Hello Kitty hack exposes 3.3 million users' details, says infosec bod

Swarthy
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Re: Different time, different place

I expect Mattel will be the next target, especially with the additional trove provided by NSA Barbie.

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NASA books second Boeing space taxi

Swarthy
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Re: 50 Years On ...

I would think that things would have changes in 50-odd (very odd) years; but, on the other hand, some things are just defined by what they do. Mayhap the engineers 50 years ago picked the ultimate best-function design, and as far as the shape and form, we've not had any significant updates to improve it.

It would be ungood to go changing things to make it look "more modern", that way lies joss sticks and whalesong, not to mention nasally fitted fire.

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T'was the night before Christmas, and an industrial control system needed an upgrade

Swarthy
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Re: "This is a skanky hack"

I have left that comment.

I have also left 3 lines of comment per line of code, just so that I could understand WTF I was smokingdoing when I wrote it, should I ever have to return to the scene of the crime.

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CES tech show adds new security checks after fears of violence

Swarthy
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Re: Exempting exhibitors?

Except that Booth Babe have been banned from CES. El Reg had a bit if coverage of the kerfuffle last year.

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Let's shut down the internet: Republicans vacate their mind bowels

Swarthy
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Re: The GOP candidates weren't talking to you

I agree with what you wrote. I think that your particular form of cynicism, coming from your handle, has just won an Internet (Unfortunately, it's one of 'their' Internets, not 'our' Internet).

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Swarthy
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Paris Hilton

Re: None of you morons

If only they had quoted all the well-reasoned eloquent stuff they said too.
The Register did report on the intelligent things said, it's on page 2. ...Rather, it would have been on page 2 had anything intelligent been said.

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Lettuce-nibbling veggies menace Mother Earth

Swarthy
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But where will the raw materials for our food grade 3D printers come from?

From compressed and processed ocean-bred algae. Not at all from people.

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Windows' authentication 'flaw' exposed in detail

Swarthy
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Boffin

Re: Have I missed something?

Seriously, no OS is really secure
No OS is inherently secure, but with a few simple steps one can secure any computer:
  • Apply all tested and verified security patches
  • Disconnect the network
  • Power off the machine
  • Disconnect the power supply
  • fill the case with concrete(Or thermite, provided you then ignite the thermite)
And there you have it - a perfectly secure computer.

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Apply online to go to Mars. No, seriously

Swarthy
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Facepalm

Almost half tempted

...and almost qualified.

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Hacked Japanese space probe sends back first pictures of Venus

Swarthy
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Re: Gotten...

A good old English word used in the USA but not in the UK. Apart from "ill-gotten" that is. And "forgotten".
Don't forget misbegotten, one of my favorites.

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HPE's private London drinking club: Name that boozer

Swarthy
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The Space Bar

The Any Key (Finally an answer to "Where's the Any Key?" - 1 Aldermanbury Square, London)

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US Navy's newest ship sets sail with Captain James Kirk at the bridge

Swarthy
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Facepalm

Re: What do it do?

Yes, you could keep a site under constant surveillance. Following a moving target with a satellite in GEO would be ..impractical. And as this is about a stealth-ish ship, I would assume it's going to move.

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Russia's blanket phone spying busted Europe's human rights laws

Swarthy
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Go

Re: And Russia's response...

This is from the ECHR, not EU. I believe that Russia is answerable to the ECHR.

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From Zero to hero: Why mini 'puter Oberon should grab Pi's crown

Swarthy
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WTF?

Click-Bait much?

While I do remember Pascal, fondly even, it's what I learned to program in, and this OberonStation sounded cool in the article. What with the article talking about it along with the RasPi and being a competitor to the PiZero, I expected a board and OS for somewhere between 5 and 50 USD. I did not expect the board to run 140USD; that doesn't even cover the OS, Networking, serial port connector (3.3v, not USB - which doesn't exist), or charging cord, each of which run about the same price as the PiZero.

Throw in that it's got a D-Sub (VGA) connector for video, and that the keyboard and mouse connectors are PS/2... I've been looking for something to do with a few old PS/2 keyboards, but not for 140USD.

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Bringing discipline to development, without causing pain

Swarthy
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WTF?

Re: I’m traveling in a car at the speed of light and I turn the headlights on...?"

A photon has no mass, they have mass equivalence. IE: They have so much energy that it can be detected as mass.

Or is it that they are Protestant (no Mass) but they do partake of Sacraments (Mass equivalence)?

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Swarthy
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Trollface

Re: meaningless buzzword soup

"There is no 'I' in team"

"True, but there's also no 'F' in way"

...When my supervisor figured it out, he was not happy with me.

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Swarthy
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Re: re: We can say with some certainty that developers like using Git as a repository manager.

We can say with some certainty that developers like using Git as a repository manager.

ObligatoryBetter XKCD reference

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Swarthy
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Re: meaningless buzzword soup

Okay, so it's not just me that found this article pretty much meaningless?

From the headlight question on, I was trying to figure out the meaning, and failing; this commentary reads like someone shifting paradigms without a clutch.

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Pentagon gets green light for WAR ... of web propaganda against IS

Swarthy
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Re: Money Wasted

I'm a bit torn on this. The US knows how to do propaganda - I mean, look how long the US Gov't had everyone convinced they were the good guys.

On the other hand, does the US Gov't actually want a peaceful resolution (by choking off recruitment)? And also given the US Gov't history of dealing with other cultures and minorities, will they just end up disenfranchising, marginalizing, and radicalizing moderate Muslims with "Islam is bad, MmmKay"?

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Hate your broadband ISP? Simply tell your city to build one – that'll get the telcos' attention

Swarthy
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Re: We all know how this song goes...

But try taking Amtrak anywhere outside of New England. Or, just look at the booking prices/travel times/available times.

Your position is akin to saying that ComCast is a worthwhile company because they have good service and price in Kansas City.

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Swarthy
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Re: We all know how this song goes...

Ah, Amtrak.. all of the speed of driving, combined with the inconvenience and cost of flying. Verily, the worst of both worlds.

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Swarthy
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Re: Welcome to Municipal Broadband.

Welcome to almost all broadband in the US (I can't speak for UK/EUR, but the rampant capitalism that has bred this coil seems to be a particular ailment of the US, or at least exemplified therein). This is exactly the thing that the current status quo supports that the municipal broadband (MB) movement is hoping to alleviate. Yes, in the OP's case, the MB is the incumbent monopoly, but in most places in the US, the addition of MB would add a competitor where there is none, or - at best - one.

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Estonian vendor sparks Li-Fi hypegasm with gigabit demo

Swarthy
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Lemme see if I have this....

You have light bulbs broadcasting data to receiving devices in a room, the devices cannot leave the room, or else they'll be listening to (watching?) a different light bulb; but, this limitation is also a benefit, because the lights in room A will not permeate to room B and cause interference. So you have (semi-?)static placement for devices to receive a data signal... why not use cables then?

The main use I could see for this would be to replace Bluetooth in stores/other indoor locations to broadcast alertsMarketing guff.

I mean, you could encode the modulation of the light to address specific devices, and have devices return signal via a LED mounted with a clear line of sight to the lights above...But then everybody would be walking about with a (LED circuit) chip on their shoulder.

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Microsoft whips out PowerApps – now your Pointy Haired Boss can write software, too!

Swarthy
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Re: Done before, failed before

And ColdFusion...

Yes, non-developers can make apps, but can they make apps that are usable, maintainable, or even work?

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VPN users menaced by port forwarding blunder

Swarthy
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Re: sshuttle for the win!

That's actually what SSHuttle is; it relays other services (VNC, etc) through the SSH ports.

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Millions of families hit in toymaker VTech hack – including 200,000+ kids

Swarthy
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Re: Easily fixed

I had to give you an up-vote, but her name is Mrs. Roberts, Bobby Tables is her son's nick-name.

Much like her daughter, Help I'm trapped in a driver's license factory, is called Elaine, which is her middle name.

..I may have spent too much time reading XKCD.

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Android's accessibility service grants god-mode p0wn power

Swarthy
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Pirate

Re: Back Orifice

Back Orifice didn't require Back Office to work, I think it was actually designed to emulate MSBO in terms of remote administration(RA) of machines. BO just did it on the sly; there were extensions like Silk Rope that would bundle the BO Server into other executables, so that it would install when the victim ran the tainted .exe.

If if properly configured it was a great RA tool, using strong (for the 90's) encryption and could be set to use authentication. I used it as a free RA tool for several machines.

Admittedly, I did use it on some machines that were not mine, as well.

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Kids' tech skills go backwards thanks to tablets and smartmobes

Swarthy
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Re: SET BLASTER=A220 I7 D1 T3

Ah. I stand corrected. I knew I remembered IRQ7 for a reason. I thought it was the reason stated, but I guess a decade or two can cloud the memory.

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Swarthy
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Re: SET BLASTER=A220 I7 D1 T3

Oh, wow.. That caused some flashbacks.Although, I think I usually used IRQ 5, as a lot of the other random peripherals I had assumed nothing else was using 7, so they did.

"Fond" memories of installing a new modem and finding out my CD ROM no longer worked (IRQ conflict 'twixt modem and Sound Card, and the sound card was the CD-ROM controller).

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Belling that cat: Oz boffins pass entanglement test

Swarthy
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Re: "Two-cubit operations"

I find your comment really humerous.
Nice ulnar-nitive take on the pun run! A radial take like that is creative, no bones about it.

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