* Posts by Swarthy

1414 posts • joined 24 Jun 2009

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How-to terror manuals still being sold by Apple, Amazon, Waterstones

Swarthy
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Re: Books schmooks

MacGyver is only slightly more accurate than The Anarchists' Cookbook. At least what they left off in the show won't (likely) hurt/kill you, it just won't work.

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Drops the mic... Hang on, hackers could be listening through my headphones?

Swarthy
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Re: Bah!

Thank you for listing the three "Nuclear Options" together. Just naming them is enough to trigger the earworm. Fortuitously, naming them together, in a group, makes them compete and they each cancel out the other two.

Now I will be the bastard and point out the one you missed: MaNaMiNa

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Trial date set for Brit police 'copter coppers over spying-on-doggers claims

Swarthy
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And what are they watching from?

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Veeam kicks Symantec's ass over unpatentable patents

Swarthy
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WTF?

The '682 patent covers classifying files as desired or undesired and only including desired files in a backup snapshot
Didn't attrib +A|-A pretty much do that?

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Fallout from Euro Patent Office meltdown reaches Dutch parliament

Swarthy
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Re: Hummm...

"I know nothing about this other than what I've just read - but I note:"

I have read this story in El Reg (many articles) but I am Septic, so I haven't heard about this from any of "our" sources. But even then you've missed a fiar few points:

  • The unions do not like Battistelli
  • Battistelli does not like the Unions
  • No-one else likes Battistelli
  • The Administrative Council have told Battistelli to stop acting like a Tyrant
  • *Several* heads-of-state have told Battistelli to stop acting like a tyrant
  • Employees of the EPO are still saying that Battistelli is acting like a tyrant

This article just reads like the one Authority who can curb this EPO debacle and depose Battistelli is finally waking up, and threatening to count to three...

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Kids' Hour of Code turns into a giant corporate infomercial for kids

Swarthy
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Trollface

Re: Perhaps all that Hour of Code is really teaching is short attention spans?

Given the reference, I'm not certain that that rogue apostrophe wasn't intentional.

^An example of the convoluted NOT-logic that you sometimes need (and will see far more often) when coding.

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Hyperloop One settles hangman lawsuit

Swarthy
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Trollface

Re: How do you keep it from bumping into the tube?

You hire great people - the best people. these people will tell you it's not a hard problem. The weak, the losers, they will tell you it's a hard problem. It's not a hard problem, the solution is clear, and it's a great solution!

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Swarthy
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Coat

Re: An unfortunate choice of words

No noose is good noose!

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AI can now tell if you're a criminal or not

Swarthy
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WTF?

Two pages before a Constable Savage reference?! What is The Register Comentariat coming to?

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Swarthy
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Paris Hilton

Re: "Although the theory has generally been disbanded..."

Discredited to the point that all adherents have disassociated from the theory?

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Quantum traffic jam of atoms could unlock origin of dark energy, physicists claim

Swarthy
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Re: Does this explain...

And filling part of the dark sigil Odegra.

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Zuckerberg says just one per cent of news on Facebook is fake

Swarthy
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Reminds me of reading about Goebbels and the "Big Lie". "when one lies, one should lie big, and stick to it."

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2016 in a nutshell: Boffins break monkeys' backs to turn them into tragic shuffling cyborgs

Swarthy
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Trollface

Re: Feel sorry for the monkeys

But why monkeys? Why not use a critter that no-one would feel empathy with? I mean, we have plenty of lawyers and politicians; even PETA would approve of testing on them.

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A British phone you're not embarrassed to carry? You heard that right

Swarthy
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Re: "Not strong on names, are they?"

Anglophone?

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Dark matter? More like diet matter: Super-light axions may solve universe's mass riddle

Swarthy
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Re: No mention of MACHOs either

I think it was shown that the MACHOs would just be WIMPs putting on a show....

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Swarthy
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Re: "Topological quantum fluctuations in quantum chromodynamics"

"Space is bent and creates a rainbow."

-M Khan

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Five-a-day energy drink habit turned chap's eyes yellow, urine dark, caused anorexia

Swarthy
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Mushroom

I loved Ripped Fuel! Two of those and a MOAC (Mother Of All Coffee - 8oz of espresso and 16 oz of drip-brew) would have me good for the day. A dirty chai latte would be a nice wind-down in the evening.

Yes, I did have headaches when I got home, why do you ask?

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Swarthy
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Headmaster

Re: What's wrong with coffee

"It's probably going to hit the liver a bit at some point though."

Nope. Coffe is actually good for the liver, 2-3/day cups seems to reduce your risk of liver disease significantly. Your kidneys on the other hand... too much coffee and you will be throwing stones.

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Facebook chokes off car insurance slurp because – get this – it has privacy concerns

Swarthy
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Re: Well thought out idea.

That's... actually a good idea. If I could stomach slogging through the inane drivel of the kind of people who would benefit from "curation" it could be a decent little money spinner. - One that AI won't be any good at for several years. Once AI is good enough (When/If) I expect to see it as a Facebook Premium option.

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Rhode Island sues HPE for making its DMV even more miserable

Swarthy
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FAIL

I've seen it go both ways (sometimes in the same project): The client constantly shifts goal posts, and the contractors making up their own. It takes a lot of proactive communication and a desire (on both sides) for a successful completion for a project to not suck.

Based on the soundbites in the Article, I'm guessing RI changed some specs (or requested nice-to-haves/stretch goals) mid-work, and HPE said "Sure!"; then HPE "re-allocated resources" to cover the new work, and used that re-allocation as an excuse to skip work they didn't want to do - without telling RI that their requirements were getting run-over by the new nice-to-haves.

Plenty of Fail to go around.

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Want to spy on the boss? Try this phone-mast-in-an-HP printer

Swarthy
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Pirate

For added awesome

Could this faux-base be made to link to the printer's NIC, potentially using the company Internet for back-haul?

Having worked in a second sub-basement surrounded by dirt, concrete, and steel I could see the benefit of a small portable base-station; but the Networks guys usually object to something like that. It may take them a bit longer to identify the strange and excessive packets coming out of the printer than it would take them to see a new, unauthorized device on the network.

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Supercomputers crack Saturn's ice-cold ring

Swarthy
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WTF?

Re: Solar system formation

Really, that set-up and you didn't go anywhere near a "knocked Uranus on it's arse" joke?

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Smut site offers to buy Vine

Swarthy
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Re: Can't we just do it normally for once?

It's easier than trying to look more pixelated.

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F-35 'sovereign data gateway' will stop US reading pilots' personal data? Yeah right

Swarthy
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Coat

Re: ALIS?

ALIS? ALIS?

Who the fuck is ALIS?

Don't where she's going, or what she's gonna do

I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't want to know,

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Trick not treat: 123 Reg down on Halloween, DNS borked by DDoS

Swarthy
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Re: 123Reg borked?

Well, they do still report on Flash updates/vulnerabilities.

Although they have stopped reporting Adobe Creative Cloud TITSUPs.

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'Hacker' accused of idiotic plan to defraud bank out of $1.5 million

Swarthy
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Black Helicopters

Re: Well, no one ever said crooks had to be smart...

So, whereas he had provided his home address, email address and even his Paypal details, doesn't that slightly show how dumb the FBI are, that it took them a month to track him?
It probably took them a month to make sure it was him, and not someone who had snaffled his account info. Because you would only be that obvious if you were using Someone Else's Identity.

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Birmingham sperm bank pulls plug after just a handful of recruits

Swarthy
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This is almost Guillbert & Sullivan quality

The main thing I pulled from this article is that London (and the South-East) is populated by a bunch of Wankers.

Nice! Although that observation my rub some the wrong way, I appreciate the effort El Reg went through to bash this one out.

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Crashed Schiaparelli lander's 'chute and shields spotted

Swarthy
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Joke

Re: This is what happens

When you plan your missions without Kerbal Space Program.

TFTFY

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Web devs want to make the Internet of S**t worse. Much worse

Swarthy
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Mushroom

Re: Wrong

You thought those Flash ads auto-playing videos was bad, wait until the advertisers can ping your phone/fitbit/watch.

1) Tracking by devices - Ghost/Privacy mode won't help, They could ID your device and ID you at any machine, no FB login, no cookies required.

2) Ad now plays on your phone/BT speakers - across the room so you have to get up to make it shut up.

3) Malvertisements can now connect to your phone, send a subscribe text to a premium-rate "service" and you are a proud member of the £24.99/month Flagellation Of The Day message service.

3a) Malvertises can call premium rate numbers - £5.99/minute (or part thereof) - Dial, connect, hang up, repeat, all of the audio cues happen over BT this can go on for as long as you have that tab/window open (unless something gets borked in the implementation and closing the tab/window doesn't close the BT connection) and you may have no idea.

This is a very bad idea.

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iPhone fatigue and fading Samsung. This planet is bored with big brand phones

Swarthy
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Upvote for the Phoenix quip.

It made me chuckle.

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I've arrived on Mars. Argggh, my back!

Swarthy
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Trollface

Re: God particle

"In most of the civilized world you can't patent ideas only implementations"

So you patent it in the US - Job done.

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Did Apple leak a photo of its new Macbook Pro in an OS update? Our survey says: Yes

Swarthy
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Re: What about VI users!

"Normal" sales would be of the MacBook Air and the like - this is the Pro version, which should bear in mind computing professionals.

This is not a home/consumer tool.

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Uber's robo-truck makes first delivery of ... Budweiser in Colorado

Swarthy
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KOOOHHHHNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

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No NY love for Airbnb

Swarthy
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Big Brother

Interstate commerce Clause

Since the Interstate Commerce Clause can be applied to a farmer growing wheat to feed their own chickens (because otherwise said farmer would be buying wheat, which would probably come across state lines), I can see it being applied to person-to-person transactions. The 14th Amendment bit is a bit harder for me to wrap my head around.

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Google flying car spotted?

Swarthy
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Re: Make mine a Moller

I thought Moller had pretty much been exposed as a bit of a fraud in the flying car department. I would rather go for the PAL-V One, or the Terrafugia (Transition, if I must; but the TF-X would be much cooler, if it can get off the ground)

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Clinton, Trump actually agree on something – blocking AT&T's Time Warner mega-buy

Swarthy
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Pirate

Re: Can we break them up instead?

ATT has already donated at least $200,000 to HRC.

So, they missed a few zeros...

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Musk outlines plans for Mars

Swarthy
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Stop

Re: Heart of Gold spacecraft's 42

Or, perhaps after Engineering designed a rocket with 42 engines, for engineering reasons, Mr. Musk decided that it just had to be called Heart of Gold.

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New measurement alert. The Pogba: 1,200Pg = NHS annual budget

Swarthy
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Paris Hilton

Re: Pg and pg

"Are we venturing into Quantum Theory? Chaos Theory? BOFH Theory? Friday Pubtime Theory?

Bistromathics?

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'Doubly unacceptable' Swiss vegan forces his way into the army

Swarthy
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Re: Now enlist him in special forces training

All right, how about fava beans?

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Third of Donald Trump's debate deplorables are mindless automatons

Swarthy
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Go

Re: Hmmm ... possibilities

"What makes you think that be an obstacle to USPTO granting you a Patent?"

Just be sure to include "On a mobile device" and/or "in the cloud" and you're in.

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Whinge on: T-Mobile US docked $48m for limiting 'unlimited' data plans

Swarthy
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Devil

Re: Wrong!

But then the congress-critters would have to be honest and up-front in their ads - and none of them want that.

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Swarthy
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Meh

Re: Really??

What's fun about this is Verizon's new advertising campaign: "Don't be limited by an Unlimited plan, Verizon offers 20GB of Unlimited data...."

After hearing that ad, all I could think of is "War is Peace! Freedom is slavery! Ignorance is strength!"

T-Mo has changed their marketing, while the plan is still "Unlimited*" the not-so-fine print is clear that the top 3% will get throttled, and the current cap is 35GB. Said qualifier is easy to see and is put very near any and all usages of "Unlimited*" So, yeah, a mea culpa and a promise never to do it again, and a fine.

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Soz, folklore fans! Negligence, not Nessie, sank WWI German sub

Swarthy
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Coffee/keyboard

Having been around some submariners...

Sailors call the toilet the head, submariners use the colloquial term "freckle locker" because there is a chance (if a valve is open, or the person flushing doesn't follow procedure) that it will flush backwards - giving the occupant new freckles, of a disturbing nature.

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Microsoft tries, fails to crush 'gender bias' lawsuit brought by its own women engineers

Swarthy
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Re: It should go to court. (@sabroni)

'Tis a shame I only have but one upvote to give you.

That is the whole reason for going to court - to assemble the evidence, look at it all together, and then determine guilt/innocence. Pre-judging the case based on soundbites and opening statements is an excellent way to display your own bias.

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Swarthy
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Unless, of course, only 10% of females were promoted....

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Spinal Tap’s bass player sues former French sewer

Swarthy
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WTF?

Re: It just seems a bit rich to me.

So, he gets paid a contractually agreed rate, that both parties deem as fair, that you feel is "ridiculous". Because of this, he should give money away ( To whom? You, perhaps? Everyone?) so that he can then earn the right to complain that a separate company, on a separate contract did not pay him the contractually agreed amount.

You're the type that won't pay back a $20 loan from a family member because "they make more than me, they don't need it like I do", aren't you?

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Basic income after automation? That’s not how capitalism works

Swarthy
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Re: Calculations

There is an article on Basic Income that includes numbers. Published right here on El Reg, even.

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Swarthy
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Re: Err

Welcome back, Tim.

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Mysterious algorithms, black-box AI recruiters are binning our résumés

Swarthy
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Trollface

Re: First, the Gross Edit

And then take about half of them, out of the middle of the stack and bin 'em - after all, you wouldn't want to hire someone who is unlucky, would you?

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