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* Posts by Steve Davies 3

1670 posts • joined 24 Jun 2009

Jesus phone RAISED from DEAD. Watch iPhone 6 get BURNED, DROWNED, SMASHED

Steve Davies 3
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Facepalm

Re: Elf 'n Safety

Ok as long as you volunteer to stand underneath all the tests. Just so that we can have something to aim at you know!!!!

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Microsoft delays Xbox One launch... Big Trouble in Big China?

Steve Davies 3
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Need more time?

Perhaps the right people in the People's Party were not in receipt of the required [redacted] inducements?

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Poverty? Pah. That doesn't REALLY exist any more

Steve Davies 3
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The measure of Poverty

i.e. how many NGO's measure it is IMHO a bit suspect.

They use a percentage of average wage as a measure. Thus people with incomes of less than that percentage are living in Poverty.

This means that anyone living on the State Pension is living in Poverty and by quite a long way.

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Bono: Apple will sort out monetising music where the labels failed

Steve Davies 3
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Re: I used to think he was a tosser

Yeah but... He's worth a few Quid and probably never has to work again. Can you say the same for yourself?

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Buying memory in the iPhone 6: Like wiping your bottom with dollar bills

Steve Davies 3
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FAIL

And this is something we didn't know?

Sheesh!

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Reg bloke zips through an iPHONE 6 queue from ZERO to 60 SECONDS

Steve Davies 3
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Re: What losers, wasting their lives queueing up like that -

Or drinking beer? It is Friday after all....

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iPhone 6: The final straw for Android makers eaten alive by the data parasite?

Steve Davies 3
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Samsung's Business model

spend $14B marketing to make $6.9B profit. Unless the $6.9B is calculated after the $14B is taken out then this model is just not sustainable.

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Microsoft's axeman Nadella fills baskets with 2,100 fresh heads

Steve Davies 3
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Perfect description

We have seen it before with the likes of DEC/Compaq/HP and a few dozen other companies.

The perennial CEO problem. When their flagship product isn't selling very well the have to do something to appease the likes of Wall St. so they cut headcount. At leasy they can be seen to be doing something.

The problem for Microsoft (and others) is how they can release a product that will bring back the days of Windows-95 where people queued for the boxed containing the release.

Sataya must be looking at the iPhone 6 launch and wishing how he could shift 6 million Surface 3's in a week. That would take the pressue on headcount off his shoulders.

Sadly his response will be to go and buy a few more companies that will only pad out their headcount meaning that they will have to go through it all again in a few months times.

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Red Hat to Wall Street: I came here to chew FeedHenry and kick some ass. And I'm all out of FeedHenry

Steve Davies 3
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Re: rpm?

Oh how very 'apt'...

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Forget bonking, have ONE OFF THE WRIST with Barclaycard's bPay

Steve Davies 3
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Re: Which wrist do you put it on?

And where do you put it if you are armless?

Ok, I'm gone

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JINGS! Microsoft Bing called Scots indyref RIGHT!

Steve Davies 3
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Re: Yes

But would you want Salmond to be the President of Scotland?

Oh deep joy. He can have the Scottish share of our National Debt (largely thanks to a Scot, Gordon Broone).

To quote my Father In Law (from Leith, near the 'Trainspotting Towers'), 'The Wee Man dinnae have a clue'.

'He can promise us the Earth but he canna deliver it'.

Sadly, this sums up most politicians these days. But this time there is a lot at stake.

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Will Apple give Chinese iPhone workers cancer? THE TRUTH

Steve Davies 3
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Re: The blame game

Well, Mr 'I'm having such fun', let me tell you having any form of Leukaemia is no fun at all. I could pray that you become afflicted but I won't.

Just don't make fun of people with an illness. Many forms of Leukaemia have no know cause.

I'm in remission (you can't be cured btw) with 'Hairy Cell Leukaemia'. I got it aged 55. It has a development period of 5-7 years.

Leukaemia messes up your whole body something rotten, I still don't have a fully working sense of taste. Vindaloo's seem mild to me even now.

Please just stop making fun of anyone who has this terrible disease. You never know if you or a loved one will get it tomorrow.

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First Irish boy band U2. Now Apple pushes ANOTHER thing into iPhones, iPods, iPads

Steve Davies 3
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Re: Apple is the reason some stuff happens

The networks could say 'Efff off you Fandroids. We ain't implementing Wifi calling'

Then the Behmoth that is called Apple says, "Excuse me chaps, will you be so kind as to enable WiFi calling?"

The networks bend over (fearing being ... well you know) and implement it benefitting not only Apple users but those peed off Android ones as well.

How exactly is that wrong?

If something that benefits all the network users gets done then great. If the network become so picky that they only implement it for apple users then I can see that the Android community would have something legit to moan about.

You have to ask why google hasn't asked the networks to implement it though?

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iPhone 6 will make you fork over with Apple Pay if you want to BONK

Steve Davies 3
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Re: As with anything apple...

Hmmm, isn't that the point of Apple Pay? i.e. it has to work with other bits of kit that has been made by lots of different copmanies?

Secnario:-

Walk into store with iPhone 6/6+. Merchant has Brand 'X' Point of sale. As long as it is NFC enabled, it will work with apple Pay.

Walk into next store and use yopur iPhone on Brand 'Y' POS.

rinse and repeat.

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OECD lashes out at tax avoiding globocorps' location-flipping antics

Steve Davies 3
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Wot? No (anti) Apple Angle?

Now that's a surprise. Mind you they must pay a lot in Business Rates for their Regent St Shop. Could that be more than Amazon paid in Tax? Now that would be news....

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Oi, Tim Cook. Apple Watch. I DARE you to tell me, IN PERSON, that it's secure

Steve Davies 3
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Politicians in the USofA

Are mostly Lawyers.

You would have thought that ....

Oh why bother, they are all S**theads and totally devoid of common sense about life outside their Country Club/Golf Course environment.

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Steve Davies 3
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Coat

Perhaps

Back in the USSR?

I'm forever blowing bubbles

'Time' followed by 'Money' and a chorus of 'Us and Them'

Yes it is home time.

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Steve Davies 3
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Alien

Points to wonder

1) Is there an election soon?

2) Is he asking vendors of Android Wear the same thing?

Perhaps he is indeed from another Planet.

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Is your cloud server in the same bit barn as your DR site?

Steve Davies 3
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Why not ask the NSA? (or GCHQ etc)

To host your backups/DR site. I'm sure they'll do it in return for unfetterd access to your Data?

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A SCORCHIO fatboy SSD: Samsung SSD850 PRO 3D V-NAND

Steve Davies 3
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Return of the Ramdisk?

gosh, it feels like the 1990's all over again.

As with all solutions of this type, what happens to all your lovely data if there is a power failure when it is still trying to write to the disk? If you are pitching this at consumers then not all of them have a UPS etc.

What price data corruption?

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'Windows 9' LEAK: Microsoft's playing catchup with Linux

Steve Davies 3
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Mushroom

Just you wait

Until they make you login via some minecraft wizzadry....

The likes of Eadon will go---> {see icon}

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Brit telcos warn Scots that voting Yes could lead to HEFTY bills

Steve Davies 3
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The 'roaming' in the Gloaming.

The mobile bosses will be impatiently waiting of the wonderful roaming charges they will introduce. As Ecosse will not be in the EU the EU wide agreements will ne null and void. Walking over the border (passport and customes inspection permitting) could lead you with a £1.00 a minute roaming charge.

The same will apply for the Scotts coming south to escape the Utopia that Salmont trying to create.

It will cost everyone in the Current UK a packet if there is a Yes vote. The charge will only be a bit less if they vote no.

Win-win anyone?

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Apple CEO Tim Cook: TV is TERRIBLE and stuck in the 1970s

Steve Davies 3
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Re: Maybe in the US

Perhaps Cable migh be the only way to get an internet connection? (discounting Cellular for the time being as it is being charged at rated that are just stupidly high). What is comcast runs the phone network or at least the only one that would give you more than what amounts to dialup speeds?

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Steve Davies 3
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Re: Maybe in the US

Spot on.

TV or Cable is being held back by the likes of Comcast. There is no competition for delivery of signals to the punter in most areas. For my friends, it is a choice between Comcast or a Satellite dish in the back yard. Sadly they almost all have t ogo with Comcast as they are the only supplier of Broadband in their area. The words 'over a barrel and being raped' come to mind. If you think Virgin or Sky is expensive then in many areas of the US they are paying close to $200 a month.

As for free to air channels? forget it. In many areas broadcast TV is on its last legs (and here if Ofcom has its way) and all the Satellite services charge. At least (for the time being) we have FreeView and FreeSat.

Then there are the UI's in the current crop of smart TV's/ They are in the main total and utter crap.

Perhaps the market could do with apple shaking it up good and proper. god knows they can afford it. Comcast (grrrrrrrr) need a good kicking is you ask me.

Remember it is the likes of Comcast that want to charge Netflicks, Amazon etc more money to not slow down the downloads you have paid for.

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Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer

Steve Davies 3
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Re: At the risk of being downvoted to hell

There are Android contracts at similar prices to iPhone ones.

for example

Vodafone 3g contract

Samsung S5 black £44.50/month Free phone,24 month 4Gb Data on 3G

apple iPhone 6 £48.00/month free phone, 24 months 4Gb data on 3G.

Not so different really.

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Steve Davies 3
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At the risk of being downvoted to hell

You could get an iPhone from Apple, John Lewis etc. Unlocked and sim free.

You get the updates from Apple and there is no carrier bloat.

Yes, I know this is heresy but the poster asked a question...

There are some Android equivalents that others will be sure to mention.

don't buy your phone from a carrier. go for SIM Only deals on say a 1 month rolling contract. Then when the carrier pisses you off, you can move to another without the unlocking hassle.

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Microsoft's rumoured $2.5bn Minecraft gobble expected on Monday

Steve Davies 3
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Coming soon

Your all new MS Minecraft

Lots of new features and ONLY available on Windows 8.1 or later!

Get your new PC/Surface/Windows Phone now while stocks last.

you heard it hear first folks.

You have to wonder if this is Sataya's grand plan for World Domination (aka kill off Google and Apple), step 1

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Oh noes, fanbois! iPhone 6 Plus shipments 'DELAYED' in the UK

Steve Davies 3
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Re: Nintendo Wii mania

You have a point BUT

I feel we need a new EL Reg unit here.

Lets say that '1 Weekend' is the number of Galaxy S5's that were sold the first weekend the nwe can judge the success (or failure) of the latest iPhone release.

If by some freak Apple sell say 10,000,000 and they are sold out for the next month then even the most ardent Apple Haters might (through gridded teeth) admit it was a success.

Just trying to get that number of devices into retailers hands for the launch is a logistics miracle. Only time will tell but one thing is certain, the people in Redmond can only look on and say, 'What if we got it right for once?'

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Steve Davies 3
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Re: APPLE STORE LIVERPOOL

Have you seen the scallies outside the Regent St Store? Many from less salubrious parts of the EU. The ones in Liverpool are city gents by comparison.

anyway, we should just stop speculating that they have sold (and not shipped to the 'channel' like some other makers) 100, 10000, or even 10,000,000 until Apple release the figures to Wall St.

The we can judge how much of a flop it has been. It can't be a success or there will be few commentards here needing lengthy hospital stays to get over their collective apopletcic shocks.

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Sellouts! Fans snap up iPhone 6 Plus pre-orders to avoid store queues

Steve Davies 3
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Case Logos?

There are literally hundered of cases for iPhones that don't have the Apple Logo on display.

There are even cases for Samsung phones that have the Apple Logo on sale in some places.

Cases for phones? Meh.

Apple will sell million of phones and generate a few billion $$$$ in profits. How many S5's did Samsung sell in the first week?

To me this is all moot as my Nokia 6310i does what I need from a phone but it is interesting to watch the Android and Apple camps slaggin each other off at every opportunity.

Phone cases at Dawn perhaps?

Seconds out round 2 Ding.

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Salesforce plan to rename London skyscraper 'Salesforce Tower' DEMOLISHED

Steve Davies 3
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Big Brother

Re: Of course! An April fool's joke!

Salesforce is an elaborate April fool's joke that I was just too dim to grok.

Just like SAP then?

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iPhone NFC: 'Apple, photos and security ... WHAT could go WRONG?'

Steve Davies 3
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Boffin

Grow up? why?

come on, give us a reason why we should? After all, we have act like grownups for 99% of the time?

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Apple iPhone 6: Missing sapphire glass screen FAIL explained

Steve Davies 3
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Using Saphire and Verbal shite

Apple did release a product that uses this not so mythical material, the Apple Watch.

There were lotos of indicateions earlier in the year that Apple was not gonig to be able to produce enough for this phone release despite these Analysists (a.k.a Crystal ball gazers) were saying.

It really isn't a surprise that this generatino of device does not have a Sapphire screen but hey, the idiots need to keep spouting forth a stream of verbal shite in order to earn a living don't they?

Perhaps Apple should encase a few of them in this wonderful material? After all this garbage can have a profiund effect on the share price.

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iPhone 6: Advanced features? Pah! Nexus 4 had most of them in 2012

Steve Davies 3
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Pint

Speak about your personal experience

and use and get downvoted. That is the ElReg way these days I'm afraid.

Your post was positive about your experience using **** products. The haters of **** take delight in downvoting you.

IMHO, these are rather sad people. The might be happier if they accept that their fav baby is not always the 'bees knees' and might be better in some respects for some people.

But it is Friday so it is time for a beer and think of the weekend.

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Order an iPhone 6 from midnight PT – if Apple's web store holds up better than its livestream

Steve Davies 3
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Alert

The real reason is....

All those lovely advertising clicks they'll get when they can come back and point to this article and say,

"We told you so. We said that the Apple Store would fail under the weight of off these Sheeple, and it did."

Then they can toddle off down the pub (it is Friday) with a smug grin on their faces and a good feeling inside.

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Ex-Autonomy execs: HP's latest wad blows apart fraud allegations

Steve Davies 3
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FAIL

Why? oh Why?

Aren't HP taknig the Auditors to Courst as well? After all they were the ones who gave HP the thumbs up after the obviously failed 'due diligence'?

HP are really taking the sauce here. Brown stuff all over the place only this time it is very smelly indeed.

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Apple Watch will CONQUER smartwatch world – analysts

Steve Davies 3
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The problem with your argument is

That IMHO a higher percentage of the Android users are

1) running old versions of the OS. For example new phones with Android V2.3 are suill be sold today.

2) The low end of the market is clearly not what this (and other wearable devices) are targetted at

3) Can't be rats aresed about bothering with wearables.

4) plus half a dozen other issues

Then you say thayt Android Wear will become the dominant platform?

The Apple offerings are clearly aimed at the top end of the market. In this segment they are the clear leaders. Samsung might sell a lot of handsets but there are nowhere near as profitable as Apple simply because the vast percentage is at the lower end of the market.

Simply quoting stats at people can make an argument. The % market share waw between Android andi iOS is long over. No one really cares anymore. The money in phones is at the top end. Apple makes lots of money here. Samsung profits have taken a nosedive in recent quarters.

Nothing that Samsung are offering at the present time will topple Apple (IMHO).

Oh, and the silly adverts that Samsung put out in the US are not going to win them market share.

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Would Apple godhead Steve Jobs have HATED the Watch?

Steve Davies 3
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FAIL

Extra, Extra, The Daily Sermon from Rev Jasper is here

Ah yes, the usual anti-Apple rant from the Pulpit I see.

Perhaps you might have been better asking if Steve (the devil incarnate) Jobs would like the offerings from Motorola, Samsung etc as a bit of balance?

Is that a no?

Will this get moderated off? Probably.

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Cloud? Nah, we're not bothering with that, say HALF of enterprises

Steve Davies 3
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Strike 1 for a bit of common sense

Just because there is a load of hype over something it does not mean that it suits everyone and every company. Now that the lokes of the NSA/GCHQ/FSB/GOOGLE/etc are into sniffing your data (and using for whatever rocks their boat that day) no matter how innocent it might be then I applaud companies who keep all their data in-house.

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Apple's Watch is basically electric perfume

Steve Davies 3
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Google Notifications?

Perhaps for some having as little to do with google as possible is regarded as a Bonus?

my phone is able to make calls and send Text's. That's it so what do I know about anything?

{Don't answer that!}

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It's a pain in the ASCII, so what can be done to make patching easier?

Steve Davies 3
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Re: Post patch patch

There will soon be a post here berating you for not using automated deployments/patching, eg WSUS.

IMHO, WSUS is fine for some places. Others (eg the 'S' in 'SME') really don't have the time/inclination/money/experience to use tools like WSUS.

If MS would get their patching act together there wouldn't be the need for all the rebooting.

My pet PITA is the frequent re-appearance of Slitherlight (Silverlight) in the list of optional patches. Despite hiding it, like a bad penny, it comes back. If someone can tell me how to remove (forever) this bit of nastyness (why do I need slitherlight on a server that is never going to display anything other than a few help pages and certainly not via IE {rant, rant,rant}) I'll be very happy.

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Payment security bods: Nice pay-by-bonk (hint: NO ONE uses it) on iPhone 6, Apple

Steve Davies 3
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Joke

Re: Too late

Isn't Palo-alto the hipster capital of the world? Have you beein infected? Are you in danger of becoming a 'hipster Zombie'?

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Steve Davies 3
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Re: The technology is compatible with the upcoming Apple Watch as well

Only if they are holding their phone the 'wrong way' {sic}

apparently (and I could be wrong) you have to have:-

1) Selected a card to use from the wallet

2) Have your 'key' finger over the correct place on the handset so that 'secureID' can validate it.

The Watch would no doubt be paired with the phone and then hopefully and payment related comms between the devices would be encrypted. The jury is decidedly out on that one though.

I fully expect that there are a lot of so called security experts out there just itching to get their hands on these devices so that they can try to find the holes in the Apple approach and then tell the world by shouting it from the rooftops.

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Apple's ONE LESS THING: the iPod Classic disappears

Steve Davies 3
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Pint

On a cloudless day...

Quote

Obituaries for the device may therefore come to the conclusion the iPod was killed by the cloud.

And what happens when

1) You go roaming and every Mb of data costs £1?

2) You are in a place that has no mobile signal nor WiFi? There are places within 5 miles of the M25 that have no coverage at all.

What price streaming then eh?

sure the device was old and there are others to choose from but from my experience, my old iPod touch runs for a lot longer when compared to any smartphone I have used even when the phine is in Airplane mode.

Being an 'Old Git', I already have copies of all the music I want to listen to so why would I want to stream it? If someone can sensibly explain and persuade me that I should stream suff I already have then I'll happily buy them a pint.

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SAP chaps cook up Glass Glass style apps for ...WHERE are you off to with that FORKLIFT?

Steve Davies 3
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Re: Figures

Is that a 'clip-on' polyester tie?

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Even better than the iThing: Apple's Cook is strictly pro Bono

Steve Davies 3
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Coat

Shouldn't that be

Throwing a 'Bonio'?

Mines the one with an iPod touch Mk 2 in the pocket. No 'U2' allowed thank you very much.

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BONEHEAD FANBOIS encamp outside Apple Stores

Steve Davies 3
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Re: The next Apple product I own

Send this person to the Loony bin. They are showing far too much common sense for this site.

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Steve Davies 3
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not a Delivery?

Well Mr Hammil, would you care to try accesing the Apple On-Line Store?

It is down for update. They normally only do that (not that I will be buying anything) when they are about to start selling the new tarted up bits of 'shiny-shiny' right away.

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Applelutely fappulous: Fashionistas bow down before the JESUS PHONE

Steve Davies 3
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Re: I think i remember this.

Nah,

It should be:-

anyone who uses the word 'Cool' to describe themselves as being such is decidely Un-Cool.

me?

I'm a grumpy old Git who probably hasn't been cool more than once in his life.

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15 MEEELLION malware-infested mobiles worldwide – report

Steve Davies 3
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Enough with the Click-bait headlines please

From the report itself

60 percent of infected devices are Android .

• 40 percent are Windows PCs connected to the mobile network .

• Less than 1 percent of devices are iPhones, Blackberrys, Symbian and Windows Mobile .

Clearly the Android platform is the biggest malware target in the mobile space, followed by Windows

PCs, which are still the favorite of hard-core professional cybercriminals .

Why would the people out the want to hide their iPads? Can we have an explanation please?

disclaimer. I own a Kindle Fire HD but it is rarely connected to any network outside my home and when connected I would certainly not load any 'suspicious' applications or visit sites that I don't already use from say my PC. most if the time it is used as an e-boo kreader and running in flight mode.

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