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* Posts by Jimbo 6

313 posts • joined 23 Jun 2009

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What can The Simpsons teach us about stats algorithms? Glad you asked...

Jimbo 6

Re: For real expertise...

The whole article reminded me of a favourite Dilbert cartoon -

Boss : Use the CRS database to size the market.

Dilbert : That data is wrong.

Boss : Then use the SIBS database.

Dilbert : That data is also wrong.

Boss : Can you average them ?

Dilbert : Sure. I can multiply them too.

(That and many more at http://stats.stackexchange.com/questions/423/what-is-your-favorite-data-analysis-cartoon )

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IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE! Google's secretive Omega tech just like LIVING thing

Jimbo 6
Terminator

"It can be hard to know what to do with it"

- Take off, and nuke the entire site from orbit !

It's the ONLY way to be sure !!!

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TSA to pull backscatter perv scanners from US airports

Jimbo 6

Re: Try a new recruitment strategy

...but now (judging by the example ATR images), their HR department will just need to sift out all the job applications from Fru T. Bunn, Master Baker ("Uh ! Uh ! Uh ! You gingerbread slut !")

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Amount of ice in Bering Sea reaches all-time record

Jimbo 6

Re: FYI...

1) Your claim of "£250m per year" is demonstrably utter BS. They get about £15m p.a. for climate research, (up from £13m two years ago), according to reasonably-reliable sources :

http://af.reuters.com/article/commoditiesNews/idAFL6E8FB4IX20120411

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/06/26/hadley_centre_for_climate_change_budget_cut_mod_funding/

2) All climate research depends on "modelling", because unlike most scientific research, we cannot repeat the experiment a thousand times to see whether a different outcome occurs when the conditions are changed. We don't have hundreds of planets to experiment on (or a time machine so we can change the past and see how it affects the present).

So if your disagreement is based on the fact that it is a model, then you seem to have a fundamental problem understanding the scientific method involved, and you may as well just stick your fingers in your ears and shout "la la la la it's not happening" for all the wisdom that you're bringing to this debate.

Maybe in your head, every piece of evidence is simply a scam by someone-or-other to make some 'profit' out of 'scaremongering', while the money that companies such as ExxonMobil pour into supporting 'sceptics' is just their way of being philanthropic, and they have *no vested interest* in persuading the world to continue using their products. No doubt if this was the 60s or 70s you'd say that lung cancer boffins only do it because they profit from "maintaining the fraud" that cigarettes are bad for you, whilst those nice tobacco companies are simply fighting for the little man's right to live life however he wants. Personally, I simply don't believe any of that.

At the end of the day, if the 'climate change lobby' are wrong, all that really happens is some people (different people from the current industrial-military status quo) make a few bucks for a while.

However, if the 'denial lobby' are wrong, millions of people (and animals) will die. And when people like yourself blithely say, in a coded way, "well I don't care if millions of people die, I want to keep my toys", I consider you nothing less than utter scum.

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Jimbo 6

FYI...

As far as I can find, absolutely *none* of the mainstream media have covered the report issued by the (UK) Met Office last week, "Industrial pollution linked to 'natural' disasters" (full report published in 'Nature', as "Aerosols implicated as a prime driver of twentieth-century North Atlantic climate variability").

Quote from one of the authors :

"Until now, no-one has been able to demonstrate a physical link to what is causing these observed Atlantic Ocean fluctuations, so it was assumed they must be caused by natural variability.

"Our research implies that far from being natural, these changes could have been largely driven by dirty pollution and volcanoes. If so, this means a number of natural disasters linked to these ocean fluctuations, such as persistent African drought during the 1970's and 80's, may not be so natural after all.

...When industrial pollution peaked over the Atlantic, this effect played a big role in cooling the ocean beneath; as pollution was cleaned up - for example after the clean air legislation of the 90's - the seas warmed."

But then the Met Office are obviously such a bunch of HIPPIES...and obviously *we* couldn't possibly be responsible for droughts that killed millions of people... that would be too much for *some people* to accept.

Where did the hand grenade icon go, cos that's what I'd like to do to climate change deniers.

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Matt Groening reveals location of Simpsons' Springfield

Jimbo 6

Re: Indeed

...even more ancient when you can remember the days when popstars dressing as schoolgirls was just harmless fun

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BDLcutLekU

(go on, you know you want to)

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Fake cop Trojan 'detects offensive materials' on PCs, demands money

Jimbo 6
Windows

Re: you'd have to be terminally thick to fall for them

Luckily for the scammers, one thing of which there will never be a shortage, is terminally thick people. (Average person = pretty thick; ergo, 50% of population is more thick than that.)

Windows user icon, natch.

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Ice age end was accelerated by CO2

Jimbo 6

@ Uncle Slacky

IIRC (from ep.2 of 'Orbit') the third factor is the location of the perihelion on the orbit ? But yes, the next Ice Age will be along in 60k years, for definite.

But more importantly, has anyone else noticed the *apparent correlation* between rising global temperatures, and the rising number of really HOT tv boffinesses like Helen Czerski and Alice Roberts ? This needs further investigation, I think.

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Browsium rescues HMRC from IE6 – and multimillion-pound bill

Jimbo 6

Re: Telford

"Good news, everybody !

We're moving to Mansfield !"

Oh....

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Condom compartment hidden in iPhone case

Jimbo 6

Re: normal behaviour

Good job he didn't chuck his car keys in the fruit bowl.

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Terrafugia flies first prototype: Flying cars 'within a year'

Jimbo 6
Trollface

Screw the jet-packs !

- wake me up when robot wives are cheap and reliable

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Use the holy word of God to stay secure online, says bishop

Jimbo 6
Angel

IdetBs!Etstctos!-NFSs8e8

I've done everything the Bible says! Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff !

- Ned Flanders, ‘Simpsons’, series 8 episode 8

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Chinese to burn iPads in upcoming celebrations

Jimbo 6

"cutting out some of his own thigh to make Chong'er a meat soup"

And I thought the boss expecting me to give him my Facebook password was bad...

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Republicans shoot down proposed ban on Facebook login boss-snoop

Jimbo 6
Devil

Re : HR drones

Do they do anything *apart from* use their Facebook accounts ?

(Read 'Hello' and paint their nails, I suppose...)

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Sky boffins: The Moon is not Earth's only natural satellite

Jimbo 6
Boffin

Pronunciation

It's pronounced 'Krin-ya'

(In the same way that the Irish lame hippy chanteuse Eithne has her name anglicised as 'Enya')

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Sitting down all day is killing you

Jimbo 6

Re: More Tea!

I used to get up every half an hour or so, when I was a teenager. These days I really need Viagra.

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Judge orders O2 to name suspected smut burglars

Jimbo 6

Fair play to the beak

At least he didn't let any Daily-Mail-faux-prurience obscure the legal issue.

There was an instance a few years ago where a UK court refused to let a plaintiff pursue a case of blatant false advertising relating to adult services, and basically said "well if you're a perv it doesn't matter if you get ripped off ".

(The facts of the case : the plaintiff rang a premium rate phone line that was advertised with a picture of a busty young lady, and the text "HEAR ME MOAN !!!". The actual product consisted of five minutes of "When are you going to do the washing up and take out that rubbish ? You just sit round the house all day doing nothing ! I should have listened to my mother...")

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Goldman Sachs in email muppet hunt

Jimbo 6
Devil

My thoughts entirely

His op-ed piece didn't state that GS was a sh1t place to work, it stated that it *treats its clients like sh1t*.

No doubt the 99.99% of GS employees who aren't "disgruntled" are the 99.99% who would sell their own grandmothers into slavery if they needed the capital to cover a margin call.

Spawn of Satan icon, natch.

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Google asked to bin autocomplete results for Japanese man's name

Jimbo 6

Re: if someone offers me a job, I am obliged to take it

Slightly off-topic, but 'Class War' newspaper pointed out some years ago that whilst it is an offence to hide any unspent convictions in order to get a job, there is no specific law about spicing up your CV with a few convictions you don't have, in order to *not* get a job...

"Public obscenity, namely, bestiality with a llama in a convent" should probably do the trick.

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Jimbo 6

Re: I don't see the issue

That's because :

Hiroyuki Tomita is *the man's lawyer*, not the affected person.

Read twice, post once.

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Barclaycard pay-by-bonk fraud risk exposes Amazon's security

Jimbo 6
Black Helicopters

Re: tin foil lined wallet

Have you never heard the phrase "keep it under your hat" ?

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Jimbo 6
FAIL

@ Irongut

So if you are Mr Jones of Exeter, and someone places an order using your card number with the details of Miss Smith of Newcastle, you actually expect a retailer to say "oh well it *could* be legitimate, let's send that Fondleslab2" ? You might not care as Amazon are picking up the tab, but if they allowed this and *you* had to pay, you'd be pretty pissed off, I believe.

If the CC number was not connected to any existing Amazon account, then the *initial* transaction (at least) should be subject to a 'Code 10' check (i.e. the customer must enter the address *exactly* as it is on the bank statement, and the retailer verifies this with the bank before the goods are sent. Mismatch = possible fraud. This does not prevent the retailer from accepting a different *delivery* address.)

"Would you prevent a family having separate accounts on the same CC" ? - Yes, absolutely. This may come as a shock to you, but your family do NOT have the right to use your credit/debit card, any more than they have the right to write (and sign) a cheque in your name. At my former job (games + peripherals, mail-order: ergo, highly sellable down the pub), we were endlessly having to tell wives that they are not allowed to use their husband's card details. If you trust your spouse (or your kids) with your credit card, it's a simple enough process to get them a *separate* card, payable on your account, but with their name on it (& if the kids are at a different address - off at college, presumably - registered to their address).

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Jimbo 6
Holmes

Re: "shunning of new technology"

Because :

new =/= (useful, reliable, trustworthy...)

I presume you haven't noticed that some other articles on El Reg highlight *problems* with technology ? Particularly, problems that the profit-takers are happy to sweep under the carpet ?

As the Native American saying goes, "Only an idiot tests the depth of the water with both feet..."

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Americans resort to padlocking their dumb meters

Jimbo 6

All the symptoms described...

....(insomnia, ringing in the ears, heart palpitations - and irrational technophobia) could also be explained by them watching too many Republican Party nominees' speeches.

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Facebook: Your boss asks for your password, we'll sue him! Maybe

Jimbo 6
Devil

Re: All this seems kind of illegal to me

IANAL, but I think previous posters saying that they would take the line “I presume this is some sort of test” are missing a trick.

Given that accessing the account would be a breach of the Communications Act (in the UK), surely the very act of asking for your login credentials is a criminal act in itself ? Not sure whether it could count as blackmail (if you don’t do X, then we won’t give you a job), or bribery (we *will* give you a job if you do X), but it’s certainly ‘social engineering’, to get unauthorised access to a system.

I don’t see how it is therefore any different from the interviewer saying “one last thing…suck my cock”. He has committed a criminal act, and this isn’t negated by him backtracking and saying “oh that was just a test to see how you’d react, hahaha”.

Interested in people’s opinions on that… but if I’m correct then the appropriate response would be to advise them that they have just committed an offence, and you *are* going to report it to the authorities – and then walk out.

Personally I’d also contact media such as El Reg and the Grauniad, and as you didn’t get the job, there should be no problem naming company names, either…

(Thinks : I’m not actually looking for a job at the moment, but I might just start applying for a few, just for the laughs mwahaha…)

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Florida man 'fesses to naked Scarlett Johansson outrage

Jimbo 6

Re: SP

He looked, but the only beaver shots on her account just involved semi-aquatic quadrupeds and heavy-calibre rifles.

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Hard-up Iceland plumps for cheaper open source

Jimbo 6

Saw the headline...

"Iceland... plump... cheap... "

...and all I could think of was Kerry Katona.

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Space probe in orbit above Mercury sees signs of polar ice

Jimbo 6

That place reminds me of my ex-wife.

Hot, but no sign of any intelligence.

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Scammers exploit new Dr Who girl with Twitter smut video

Jimbo 6

@ very sad people

Indeed. But happily our fellow El Reg readers are all upstanding members of society, and not a single one of *them* is currently staring vacantly into space, imagining what this hypothetical grumbleflick involving the new Dr Who assistant (and/or the old one) would entail.

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You're crap and paid too much for the little work you actually do

Jimbo 6

Re: suppositories

We all (occasionally) want to tell the boss where he can shove it, but did you mean 'suppositions' ?

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Report: Feeble spam filters catch less junk mail

Jimbo 6
WTF?

Re: Seems Yahoo is the big culprit here

Anecdotally... I've noticed on my Yahoo account in the last 7 days, that one mail *from Yahoo customer services* (confirmation of a change that I'd made) was sifted into my Spam box. While one with 'Viagra' (not even 'vigara' or 'viagara') in both header and body happily passed straight into my Inbox. Go figure.

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Nokia invents teeny throbbing tattoos to make your skin crawl

Jimbo 6
Facepalm

March Of The Cretins

Given that you would still need to actually pick up the associated phone to receive any incoming message...so you probably wouldn't leave it that far away from your own location in space (especially if it had a high fondle-rating)... are that many people so *stupid* that they actually need a vibrating tattoo to tell them when a text message arrives ? Or when the phone needs recharging ?

Oh, right, bit of a silly question really.

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Smartphone users sue Apple, Facebook over mobile app privacy

Jimbo 6
Thumb Up

Cry 'Havoc' !

Let slip the dogs of Law !

Let their parts-most-private be consigned to a Rutland tree !

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Lawyers of Mordor menace Hobbit boozer

Jimbo 6
Joke

Best suggestion I've heard...

...turn it into a "replacement parts for cookers" themed-pub.

Call it 'The Hob Bit'.

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Council spunks '£100k on how to wash your hands' vid

Jimbo 6
Flame

Re: work as a chemist...wash your hands BEFORE using the toilet

Yeah, one of my mates made that mistake when preparing a 'five-alarm' chili. Ooooh oooh ooh the ring of fire....

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Jimbo 6
Boffin

Re: There are plenty of blokes...

My thoughts entirely - so many people seem to be baffled by the concept of hand-washing that I'm suprised WSCC didn't get Professor Cox in to explain it.

In fact I think the aforementioned council could produce a lot more videos, such as "When to use the indicator lights on the car you're driving", "How to put used teabags in the bin", or "Wet towels - hang them up !" and none of them would be a waste of money.

(I can only hope that trusted colleagues are, in fact, "wiping their arses", and don't need an instructional video on how to do *that*.)

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That steady diet of EastEnders IS turning her into a shrew

Jimbo 6

Re: video games having the same effect

Of course, video games could probably be shown to have the *opposite* effect, if anyone ever released a TV-tie-in first-person-shooter entitled "Mockney Moron Massacre" or "Grand Theft Walford". That would calm me down no end.

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Solar storm has a 'sting in its tail', warn space weathermen

Jimbo 6

Re: ideal job

*and* you get to go to parties with the weather girls.

(Not to be confused with The Weather Girls. Though I'm sure they know how to party big-style.)

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Jimbo 6
Terminator

Re: Transformers blowing up

Wow, I thought they only existed in the movies ! Does Megan Fox live near you, cos if so I'm moving there

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Restaurant takes the piss, recycles it as fertiliser

Jimbo 6

Re: Romans collected it to use in their laundries

They also used it to brush their teeth.

No wonder they had very little sense of humour.

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Anonymous takes down Vatican website

Jimbo 6

Now, time to attack the Government of Mongolia's website

This is for building a vast empire that reached from the Pacific to the Dnieper in the thirteenth century ! Bastards !

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The true, tragic cost of British wind power

Jimbo 6
Boffin

@ Kubla Cant

Don’t know where you’ve got your info from but there’s a lot of factual inaccuracy there - I think you’re trying to conflate the two sites just because of their *relative* proximity (there are actually a good couple of mountain ranges between them). Dinorwig (still very much in use) is linked directly to the National Grid, it’s nothing to do with Trawsfynydd (which hasn't produced any power in 20 years).

Dinorwig simply uses the spare overnight capacity of the NG to pump water uphill, ready to release during the advert break in Coronation Street (for example) when most of Britain decides to have a nice cup of tea. From zero, to 1800 Megawatts in 16 seconds, now that’s what I call acceleration. (The most powerful station in Europe – Drax – produces just over twice that, so Dinorwic gives us the ability to effectively add a sizable power station to the Grid at will, run it for up to 5 hours, but then switch it off again in seconds. BTW It gives about 75% efficiency – i.e it takes about 33% more crackle-magic to pump the water back uphill again, than is produced by letting the water go downhill through its turbines.)

Not having ever decommissioned a Magnox power station myself, I can’t speak from first-hand experience, but I’m pretty sure that any electrical requirements they still have at Traws similarly comes down a cable from the rest of the Grid.

Pumped storage wasn't expanded further because (in the early 80s) the UK cancelled a lot of its planned nukular stations; output from 'conventional' (fossil-fuel-fired) stations can be increased or damped down to allow for seasonal variations in demand, whereas a nukular plant produces about the same output for its entire operational life. So, fewer nukes means less requirement for ‘on demand’ production capacity.

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Jimbo 6
Joke

PPE degrees ?

Module 1: Hard hats, goggles, and hi-vis jackets.

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Social networks breeding spatial junk

Jimbo 6
Boffin

Re: Newsflash: Crowdsourced data is inaccurate...

My ogglefloggle needs fleening ?

Damn that IT guy, he told me I needed a new flux capacitor.

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Stolen iPad leads to 780lb crystal meth seizure

Jimbo 6
Devil

Re: didn't want to give any money to Apple

I suppose even crystal meth manufacturers have *some* scruples about the sort of low-lives they want to do business with.

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Lithuania rules beer brewing 'vitally essential' to life

Jimbo 6

Re: saved many marriages

*caused* many marriages, surely ?

It's certainly caused a lot of pregnancies over the years.

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Manchester biz raided in text message spam clampdown

Jimbo 6
Joke

Have YOU been injured by a flying book ? Ring our helpline NOW to speak to a claims specialist...

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Weeing Frenchman sues Google over Street View photo

Jimbo 6
Coat

Re: pissoirs

One essential difference though, is that pissoirs are actually designed for pissing in, unlike a garden.

We've all taken a leak somewhere in public, behind a tree or in a shop doorway, if we're nowhere near an available toilet, but you have to be one lazy-ass mo-fo if you *can't be bothered to walk into your own house* to take a slash.

I imagine his neighbours' mockery is based more on his laziness, than on his violation of the acceptable rules of French behaviour (which I understand to be somewhat more 'relaxed' than those of the average Daily Mail reader).

Mine's the one with the funnel and plastic tubing in the pocket.

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Election hacked, drunken robot elected to school board

Jimbo 6
Black Helicopters

Re: Secure?

A friend has parents who are both Salvation Army officers (pretty upstanding & reliable members of society, I think we'd all agree), and they have frequently (and for many years) been involved in the physical process as monitors at the polling stations. However they have *never* been invited to join in the teams that actually count the papers, and say that they have *no idea* who those people are...

If anyone knows how the counters are recruited, I'd be interested to hear.

(Personally I think all 'representative democracy' is like giving sheep the choice of which wolf they want to be eaten by... it doesn't really matter which one wins)

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Indian ministers quit in parliament smut flick scandal

Jimbo 6

"The BJP...has stood behind the men"

No doubt to get a better view of the video in question.

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