Feeds

* Posts by Witty username

133 posts • joined 23 Jun 2009

Page:

Man's car warns of AIR RAID OVER LONDON

Witty username
Thumb Up

Brilliantly written

If i drunk coffee, i'd need a new laptop

2
0

Inside the Skynet ghost town built by bunker-based boffins

Witty username

The truth

I'm going to be vastly disappointed when it all turns out to be exactly as they said and there's no conspiracy theories involved.

1
0

iPhone fanbois enraged by Instagram's Android triumph

Witty username
Trollface

Re: Great conversion.....

Rooted phone, installed an app to enable moving all apps to SD card, installed instagram, 2 days later an update comes out that lets you install it to SD card.

Instagram = ultimate trolls. At least i have a rooted phone now though eh

1
0
Witty username
FAIL

Great conversion.....

32gb of SD card goodness in my phone and this POS installs straight to the phone memory, making my poor galaxy ace almost brick itself.

6
0

Vote now for the WORST movie EVER

Witty username
Thumb Up

Madness!

Megashark vs giant octopus was a cinematic masterpiece!

Surely would have been easier to do a Worst film 2011?

0
0

Lingerie-clad she-devils romp past watchdog

Witty username
Thumb Up

Clearly fictional?

This doesn't happen all the time?!

2
0

Google plots Chrome web password maker

Witty username
Trollface

Wait a minute

Did Google just call Sony "incompetent"?

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

2
0

Virgin Media sees 36,000 cable customers scarper in Q2

Witty username
FAIL

Brilliant piece of PR

"Its ok, they were poor anyway"

Daily Mail : VIRGIN MEDIA DOESN'T CARE ABOUT POOR AND NEEDY, VILE IMMIGRATION NEW LABOUR ETC

0
0

Virgin Media frustrates customers with 'intermittent' routing blues

Witty username
Trollface

Still got issues

VM/Telia failing as usual.

Weirdly enough, Spotify still works. so thats a bonus.

for now.

0
0

Fukushima's toxic legacy: Ignorance and fear

Witty username
FAIL

How unsurprising

I assumed you'd be posting your uninformed drivel all over this recent even.

You may be interested to know someone has mentioned the word "eurofighter", so i expect you'll have even more crap to spew about it?

4
2

World of Warcraft: Cataclysm

Witty username
FAIL

Oh the irony

the irony in people on an IT website calling other users sad for playing WoW, when they're usually creaming themselves over the latest ifad or whatever.

Also cataclysm is awesome

1
1

iPad 2 to arrive around Valentine's Day - Taiwanese reports

Witty username
Thumb Down

I actually laughed

Guess all the people spending £600+ on the original are a tad underwhelmed by this? i wonder if stepehen fry will be borderline orgasmic over this one as well

0
0

Leslie Nielsen dead at 84

Witty username
Joke

Brilliance

The internal monolouges were epic.

"she asked to meet me at the club right away. I told her i didnt know where the club right away was, so i suggested the Club Flamingo. she agreed"

1
0

PARIS joins the 17-mile-high club

Witty username
Thumb Up

This,

if you'll excuse my french, is fucking awesome.

well done guys :D

0
0

Hells Angels slap London dressmakers with trademark suit

Witty username

BRB..

..cornering using all 4 wheels

:P

0
0

419ers threaten terrorism charges

Witty username
FAIL

hehehe

ive had this email before, slightly different, they were informing me that the transfer was valid and i should go ahead with it.

ive also had one from Ban Ki Moon himself confirming it.

0
0

DARPA fashions miracle robotic attachment from balloon, coffee

Witty username
FAIL

yes but

the orthotic machine didnt then pick you up by your foot and parade you around like a rag doll (i hope)

0
0

Robot teddy bears attack Alzheimer's

Witty username
Grenade

Only a matter of time

"and of course, these robots do not bite."

yet

>_>

<_<

2
0

Little Chef in 'I ♥ Charlie' t-shirt outrage

Witty username
Thumb Up

Buy em before they get banned

ebay for victory!

0
0

HABITABLE ALIEN WORLD discovered 20 light-years away!

Witty username
FAIL

Great

"Our bodies are made of bones ... We have senses. Smell, Taste, Sight and Touch. Without any of these things, we wouldn't live. "

"right lads, blind em and steal their bones, that should stop their "web two point oh"

0
0

iPhone fanbois run off road in CoolBrand race

Witty username
FAIL

slightly obvious result

"Hi, i own an iphone" compared to "hi, i drive an aston"

you're right, the phone should clearly win...

0
0

Jailbreak hole in iOS 4.1 will be hard to close

Witty username
Thumb Up

Simple solution

Let people jailbreak it, when it goes wrong - tough shit, buy a new one.

simple?

0
0

ROBOT KILL-CHOPPER GOES ROGUE above Washington DC!

Witty username
Jobs Horns

They didnt loose control at all

its just the software reporting that it did

0
0

Google pulls trigger on 'Instant' search engine

Witty username
FAIL

OHHHH

i thought i was going mad, or just over tired.

1
0

Think tank rages at NHS' £700 bill for fertility clinic porn

Witty username
FAIL

Thanks American culture!

"is potentially harmful to the men exposed to the material"

Violence, Gore, Torture, guns = Good, wholesome american values

Breasts = HEATHEN! BURN THE HERETICS! THINK OF THE CHILDREN etc

Glad to see we have adpoted the american school of thought.

also i read somewhere (citation needed because im lazy and forgetful) that certain porn..people (creators? manafacturers? producers?) donate magazines et al to hospitals for their fertility spank banks.

1
0

USB stick with anti-terror training found outside police station

Witty username
Thumb Down

Wouldnt worry about it

Its not like our police force are actually any good at anti terror training is it.

i imagine it just says "if they got a tan and a funny accent, beat them up then bill the tax payer"

11
2

Symantec Snoop Dogg rap contest site rickrolled

Witty username
Coat

laptop running Norton Internet Security 2011

Bogus prize? :D

1
0

Front End / Client Side Web Developer

Witty username
Coat

i can use frontpage

and i expect 80k +

when do i start? :D

0
0

Lady vicar tells Anglicans to learn from Black Sabbath

Witty username
WTF?

facepalm

i know that you dolt, hence why i...oh nevermind. I ment people (read: idiots) tend to think metal is the same thing over and over.

other examples of what they deal with include evil tyrants, abusive fathers, killings/killers in the news (Andrea yates etc), japanese/greek mythos etc

0
0
Witty username

Silence heathen!

Else the Budgerelephant will smite thee!

on a side note, AC/DC = not metal. AC/DC does not deal with the devil, satanic rituals or all the other stereotypical crap that people think metal deals with, AC/DC deal with getting pissed, getting laid, people/things called Jack, and getting pissed. again.

0
1

Apple goes social with musical Ping

Witty username
FAIL

"except that they run on mobile devices rather than clunky consoles."

i lol'd

0
0

Nandos 'village bike' ad not sexist, rules ASA

Witty username
Thumb Up

Fatality

Common sense - 1

Daily mail esque NIMBY's - 0

also women taking liberties etc

3
1

Boffins baffled by mysterious Martian crater

Witty username

Interstellar insurance claim

"it came out of nowhere guv"

1
0

Apple to reveal musical something on September 1

Witty username
Thumb Up

Perhaps

www.orangeamps.com

they are going to compete with them?

"the new apple iAmplifer". Only plays indie and starbucks rock. Or it soley does high gain metal. "the iMosh. Circle pits made simple!"

0
0

Data protection and surveillance: Swapping the speed camera for ANPR?

Witty username
Flame

re:

Speed != accidents

Inappropriate Speed + inexperiance + loss of control = accidents

i wasnt advocating treating town centers like a race track (an urban location that wont be effected by average speed cameras unless they are literally in every square inch of the town), what i mean is 90~ mph on a empty motorway in a properly serviced car driven by someone who isnt a fucking tool shouldnt be a problem, yet its that example that will get punished.

This wont stop Billy the generic chav racing past a school in his bangin' 1.2 corsa and plowing through some pedestrians, this will simply serve as another money making scheme to rip off innocent members of the public.

daily mail esque rant over. On a side note, would James Bond style revolving numberplates render you immune to this? =D

6
0
Witty username
Flame

awesome

So millions of pounds of public money will be spent, people will still die in car accidents as speed is rarely the deciding factor (hitting something usually is), more people will get pointless fines thus pushing them further into debt (some to the point of suicide, as demonstrated recently), pushing the country futher into debt and depression, all because some mary whitehouse esque sheltered NIMBY retard is looking for a scapegoat.

Brilliant job guys. What about all the accidents caused by drink, drugs, mobile phones, loss of concentration, tiredness, worn components (tyres/brakes etc), people driving the wrong way up motorway sliproads, poor road conditions (potholes (thanks local council!), no lights on fast roads etc), poorly thought out roadworks, getting run over by police cars (look it up), etc etc etc.

i wonder what the accident rate is like on the german autobahns?

7
1

Iran unveils 'robot bomber'

Witty username
Coat

The aircraft can gain altitude?!

one would assume its a rather basic requirement of an aircraft, getting off the ground an' all

5
0

Orange gives the green light

Witty username
Flame

Orange are retards

and im not even a customer. between their EPICLY shite firmware "customisation" that has rendered my other halfs HTC desire useless, to their brilliant technical support and shop staff - "its connecting to 3G, its just not showing the symbol" (a month later) "yeah your account isnt enabled for 3G"

im on vodafone, who are almost equally as shit, with their fantastic technical support "my phone wont download MMS's, tried 2 handsets" "RESTART YUR PHONE HUR HUR" "but its two diff.." "TAKE IT TO VODAFOEN SHOP LOLZ".

Im going to o2. if they're just as shit, im going to launch my own fucking satelite and use that.

0
0

Sony confirms 160GB, 320GB PS3s coming to Blighty

Witty username

So

...the 80gb one will be getting cheaper?

:D

0
0

119 iPad apps for admins, coders, and geeks

Witty username
Thumb Down

erm

what do ipads have for power sources then, unicorn tears?

0
0

NASA 'nauts wrap ISS pump job

Witty username
Thumb Down

Or

Just crack a window open

...oh yeah, its in space.

0
0

Police told terror ads too terrifying offensive

Witty username
FAIL

No Area 51?

So Groom Lake air base is just a myth?

1
0

First SMS Trojan for Android is in the wild

Witty username
Coat

Dont install it then

Not that big of a deal

- Sent from...erm...firefox

0
0

Microsoft digs Macs in back-to-school ads

Witty username
Gates Horns

Just watch DVD's

No big deal.

hur hur.

in all seriousness thats a crock of shit, and thats coming from a PC user. Mac's not avalible in luminous pink? OH NOES!

1
0

Apple iPhone exec falls on sword

Witty username
Coat

must be part of the reggate scandal

*leaves*

1
0

UAE to cut off BlackBerry users

Witty username
Joke

And yet

Jack Bauer still uses some shitty flip phone from ~2001

0
0

UK population to be guaranteed mobile 768Kb/sec service

Witty username
FAIL

And up goes the cost

previously, service providers can hide behind the contract, especially the part stating it is not a guaranteed service.

Take this away from them and the only way they will respond is jacking the prices up to compensate for the extra bandwith.

0
0

Swiss do lady-friendly iPhone 4 launch

Witty username
Joke

i shouldnt laugh

but "cover themselves in a small tent" made me giggle.

As for female discrimination, we can still urinate on things, open jars and find flatuance hilarious, so try not to dwell on it ;)

0
0

Police chief: Yes, my plods sometimes forget photo laws

Witty username
FAIL

"The Metropolitan Police Force cannot be guaranteed to abide by the law "

Says it all really

0
0

Russians quizzed over parasailing donkey

Witty username

This calls for

The ironic punishment division!

tie the people responsible to weather balloons, and let them float about at X ammount of feet (anyone want to chip in how high they go?) for a bit!

0
0

Page: