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* Posts by Natalie Gritpants

391 posts • joined 9 May 2007

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Sony Ericsson sues over Clearwire swirl

Natalie Gritpants
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Boffin

This is what you get from style boutiques

All your logos are belong to the swirl. And they all look alike and have nothing to do with your company. If SonyEricsson's logo was an imaginative blend of S and E this would not have happened and it might be more recognized.

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National Identity Card holding chumps have buyer's remorse

Natalie Gritpants
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WTF?

£20m!!!

Surely all those 30000 people are on the database and so their name and address have been verified. Just post a cheque for £30 to each one. job done for less than £1m

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iPad media apps: Stealthed hobbits thwart Google's flaming Eye

Natalie Gritpants
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FAIL

WW means world wide

There's a difference between the internet and the www. the world wide web is the killer app that made the internet popular. I'm sure these platform specific closed apps look attractive to media publishing companies because they enable more control than the www but they also lack the world-wide aspect.

What next? Some bright spark comes up with cross platform apps?

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Unfeasibly vast amphibian found croaked on video card

Natalie Gritpants
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Getting in was easy

It simply pressed the cdrom button, jumped on board and went for a ride.

Once inside it realized it had forgotten the USB to serial port adapter so it couldn't log in with it's smartphone.

Once it had finished eating all the bugs and spiders inside it croaked.

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This year's comedy Xmas No. 1 contender: Silent song 4'33"

Natalie Gritpants
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WTF?

How is this going to hurt Simon Cowell?

The X-factor single won't sell any less, the customers are completely separate. Who knows? the X-factor single may sell even more since the fans might be annoyed at the annoyed-at-X-Factor brigade.

Mind you it's probably going to be the best work from Billy Brag and Pete Doherty ever!

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BBC One HD to go live tonight

Natalie Gritpants
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Freeview and Freesat on channels 108 and 50, respectively!!!

I hope their upscaler is not the same as ITV's. My TV does a better job of suppressing the deinterlacing artefacts than theirs.

Can't wait for Strictly in HD, SD Freeview does very badly when the camera whizzes at the same time as the lighting is going mad.

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Rooney exits Man U with a few choice words

Natalie Gritpants
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WTF?

Bigger screenshot please

You cut the advert in the bottom right off just at the wrong point. Perfect what?? From the picture it looks like sodomy but I don't think that's likely on Fox Sports.

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Huge jobs loss to follow public sector cuts

Natalie Gritpants
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Accountants can't do maths

£46,000,000,000 savings for losing 500,000 jobs means a saving of £92,000 per job loss. Sounds like a bargain even if they all end up on jobseekers allowance.

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Logitech unveils first Google TV box

Natalie Gritpants
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Not good value

For £100 pounds more you can get a Sony 32" Freeview HD TV that does all of the above, plus does Freeview, Freeview HD and includes a nice HD screen. OK, it doesn't have a keyboard.

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Video vigilante site emerges from legal battles

Natalie Gritpants
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WTF?

Get back £1.50 for 60 hours

How does that fit in with the minimum wage?

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The 500 year archive

Natalie Gritpants
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If you want jaw-dropping impact

I humbly suggest goat.se

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Google ordered to pay out for automated defamation

Natalie Gritpants
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Coat

Happens to lots of people

Get over it.

Yours faithfully,

Ian Adequate

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Paris brushes off Japanese ejection over coke bust

Natalie Gritpants
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xoxo ???

Ejected for failing to know how to play naughts and crosses.

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Stallman storms in on Oz software patent conflab

Natalie Gritpants
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Rude and ungramatical

The placard should have read "Don't get caught in software patents, you thickets".

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Mobile phones for minimalists

Natalie Gritpants
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If you want to appeal to the oldies

better make the volume switch go Loud, Louder, Deafening

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Flaming work laptop toasts cottage

Natalie Gritpants
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Boffin

Note to support staff

If someone's laptop has overheated tell them to take it outside to cool down.

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Happiness: Yours for £50k a year

Natalie Gritpants
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https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Household_income_in_the_United_States

$75k puts you comfortably in the top end so it's not surprising that you're happy. Beyond that and you probably don't mix with enough poor people to stay grounded.

Can we have a "well, duh" icon?

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Twitpic pulls 50 Cent bum burger snap

Natalie Gritpants
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Getting shot nie times does not give you street cred

Getting shot at without getting hit might, but even better is having enough intelligence to not be around idiots with guns.

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Natalie Gritpants
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title

Add your own mayo

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Holiday snaps? Er, no - criminal porn

Natalie Gritpants
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I may not be Poirot

but I can guarantee that his missing son wasn't inside the PC.

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Iron-on armpit BO stench-filters 'ideal for modern lifestyle'

Natalie Gritpants
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FAIL

Not thought this through have you?

The smelliest people don't own irons.

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Energy-saving LEDs 'will not save energy', say boffins

Natalie Gritpants
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Re: Ten times more light

3D TV glasses do cut out some light so brighter lights will enable you to keep them on when you make a cup of tea. Plus any fule kno wearing sunglasses indoors is cool.

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Pay-off or lay-off: HP calls on 700 staff to heed redundo plea

Natalie Gritpants
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WTF is bestshore?

I can only guess it's what happens to your jobs when, not only are the people in India cheaper than you, they are better too.

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SanDisk launches Cruzer Blade USB thumblet drive

Natalie Gritpants
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Review Fail! - Can't go smaller

Of course they can, the limiting factor is the USB connector (there's room in there to put the chips). You will have to remember to tie a piece of string to it if you don't want to use pliers to extract it though (just like certain products for women)

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Withings Wi-Fi bathroom scales

Natalie Gritpants
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FAIL

Stand on one leg!

Waste of space. Your height does not change so all you need to remember is your weight to get your BMI. And your weight doesn't change much so remembering is easy. (Hint - it's probably the same as yesterday or maybe a bit more, never less). Once you move to remembering your weight you can type that in to any number of free computer/internet/iphone programs to track your increasing weight. Then you only need a cheap pair of analogue scales that don't require you to log in by hopping your user id in morse.

Alternatively jump up and down naked in front of a close friend and ask them if you wobble in the wrong places.

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Did ID card applications surge after scheme was scrapped?

Natalie Gritpants
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Antiques roadshow 2110

or flogging off as fake id.

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UK.gov unplugs Lane Fox digiquango

Natalie Gritpants
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"Given a more roving role"

Is that a euphemism for being shown the door?

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Mail my printer - I'm busy!

Natalie Gritpants
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No thanks

I'm guessing that the email will go to a server somewhere and the printer will poll it for print jobs. I don't want my print jobs being stored on someone else's servers and I don't want my printer to be open to anyone that can guess an email address.

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Sky snaps up Virgin TV channels

Natalie Gritpants
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Sauce for the goose

I think the BBC should put in a complaint to Ofcom.

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Freeview HD sacrifices surround sound for World Cup scramble

Natalie Gritpants
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WTF?

Tell us more

How do you use MythTV to watch Freeview HD?

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HP to fire 9,000 due to 'productivity gains, automation'

Natalie Gritpants
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$1bn / 9000 is..

~$111k - quite a generous redundancy package on average.

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BT quotes pensioner £150,000 to get broadband

Natalie Gritpants
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Agreed

I live in the countryside and I'm grateful I never have to listen to jazz anymore, I don't know how you put up with it.

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Can you give to charity and cost Microsoft money?

Natalie Gritpants
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Weird motives

Best way to give to charity is time or cash to a local charity. Time is better.

Don't do this just because you hate Microsoft. They get more publicity from every pound raised. And every pound raised costs them 50p (tax deductible). Just donate £1 to your own beer fund - you will feel better.

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On-demand TV subject to broadcast ad rules

Natalie Gritpants
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FAIL

Warnings on the screen?

How is that supposed to work then? It's only the kids that can work this technology in most families.

I know it's going to be expensive but the VOD companies are going to have to either restrict all ads to be suitable for children or stitch in adverts to the stream based on the time of day (at the receiving end).

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Google TV: Android and Chrome on your boob tube

Natalie Gritpants
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You don't know what a boob tube is do you?

The post is required, and must contain letters.

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NFC will help you find your car - if you're next to it

Natalie Gritpants
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Immobilisers might be a better application

Just have the immobiliser tag on you keyring and it will be near enough when you insert the ignition key to work. Better than fumbling in the dark for the place to insert the magic doobrey.

Speaking of which, if I'm in a restaurant I'll be concentrating on loosening the knickers of the other person and not wanting to edit my playlist or roast my dog.

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Samsung NaviBot robot cleaner

Natalie Gritpants
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Boffin

Humans are much better

Bedroom shame indeed! (not the first time you've heard that phrase I guess)

You call that clean? For that amount of money you can get at least 40 hours of cleaning time from a human, probably enough for you flat for a year, which is probably longer than that robot will last. Or you could just do it yourself

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Germans plan to make 'synthetic natural' gas from CO2

Natalie Gritpants
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Stop

Re: Propane is very similar to methane chemically

I suspect you were sleeping during chemistry, they're about as similar as oxygen and chlorine are, just a few numbers. And please don't try to distil your own whisky.

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Sharing bank PINs leaves consumers at risk

Natalie Gritpants
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"unmeetable burden"

From a Cambridge don??? Surely that should be unbearable

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Reverse-engineering artist busts face detection tech

Natalie Gritpants
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David Bowie - ahead of his time

Aladdin Sane

nuf said.

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Official: Apple iPhone is a chick magnet

Natalie Gritpants
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Jobs Horns

It just means you're more

Suggestible.

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Death row inmate claims allergy to lethal injection

Natalie Gritpants
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Go

Should have a word my my vet

He assures me that when the time comes to kill my horse he's got an injection that will do it in seconds. He says it's so effective that he's no longer carrying a gun around (in case of emergency call-outs, not bill collecting).

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French city in pedestrian-powered streetlight plan

Natalie Gritpants
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Amen

Head mounted LED lamps are great and last for ages. You could switch off the lamps and give everyone in the country one with the first months savings.

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Lib Dems demand niceness, ignore technology

Natalie Gritpants
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IR35 - pah that's nothing

Listening to Radio 4 this morning it sounded like they're after any tax avoidance of any shape or form. Without actually specifying which tax avoidance they mean though so pretty vague.

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Adobe mulls changes to close hole in PDF apps

Natalie Gritpants
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Stop

In the old days

Programs would expand until they could read email. Now they expand until they can form a botnet.

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Giant solar-powered aircraft takes to the skies

Natalie Gritpants
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Boffin

Flying where there is no night

Maybe they're planning on flying inside the Arctic circle in the summer. Would that count?

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How Labour’s Web2.0rhea cockup helped the photographers

Natalie Gritpants
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WTF?

Not sure who's copyright has been mugged.

It's a photo of a git on a Quattro. Surely the politician won't object since all publicity is good publicity. Audi might be embarrassed but they probably don't own that car.

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New Reg comments system ready to launch

Natalie Gritpants
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Grenade

Nearly had me going

The250wordLimitDidn'tPhaseMeAtAll.ItWasWhenYouGotToChargingForComments_I_smelled_a_rat.

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Brown's website as mad as he is

Natalie Gritpants
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The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

Every day is Linda Lovelace day.

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'Health and safety killjoys' kill cheese-rolling race

Natalie Gritpants
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Is Hallerton bottle kicking still going?

That was thought to be dangerous in the seventies.

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