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* Posts by Natalie Gritpants

404 posts • joined 9 May 2007

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Bishop to bless road salt supplies for added winter safety

Natalie Gritpants

I'd be more comfortable with Morris Men doing their thing.

After all I don't think God will mind if you don't get to work a couple of times this winter.

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Eleven - if you will - rocktastic music movies

Natalie Gritpants

You can't beat Flashdance

The post is required, and must contain letters.

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Eurozone crisis: We're all dooomed! Here's why

Natalie Gritpants
Thumb Up

Time to thank Goerge Soros

For costing us so much in the ERM that we never joined the Euro.

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Peat bogs will not cause runaway global warming

Natalie Gritpants
Happy

Bog means wet

And it's wet because it's at the bottom of a hill or somewhere where water doesn't drain away well. Surely a rise in global temperatures will result in more rain or rising sea levels so the bogs will get bigger or wetter not drier?

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Ofcom proposes new rules on advertising deals

Natalie Gritpants

How flexible is your PVR/remote?

Why not arrange for the skip button to mute? I think I can arrange for MythTV to mute for a couple of seconds every time skip is hit so I won't even have to hit unmute after the break.

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It's time to end the Windows Wait

Natalie Gritpants
Boffin

I'll tell you where they are.

My previous contract was at Intel and the whole place is run on SSD laptops (with Linux server farms for the real work). There did not appear to be any desktop machines. Unsurprisingly the SSDs are all Intel.

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Nipples and teen lesbians sexy even when ironic, ASA rules

Natalie Gritpants
WTF?

What's with the pixelated bottoms

I anybody really offended by a bum? I'm not talking about goatse but just normal buttocks. They even did it on the X-factor, whereas I would rather they pixelated Louis Walsh into oblivion.

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C and Unix pioneer Dennis Ritchie reported dead

Natalie Gritpants
Headmaster

Drop the exit(0);

That way you pass back the return value of printf().

You never know, he might have taken stdout with him.

Many thanks to DMR who has enabled me to make a nice living - sort of, I write Verilog.

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Brit micro-biz needs tax breaks, promotion, cuddles

Natalie Gritpants

We need less weird tax rules not more.

Agreed - why not just make things simpler by just not having to pay Employers NI on the first ten employees, or no corporation tax on the first £50k of profit.

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Google plants self on Silicon Roundabout

Natalie Gritpants
Stop

Please stop calling it Silicon Roundabout

There is no Silicon being produced there. There isn't even much Silicon being produced in Silicon Gorge or on the Silicon Fen but they do stuff that is close enough.

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Second-hand E-m@iler spews old emails, passwords

Natalie Gritpants
WTF?

Both emails?

Can't believe it. There has only ever been one email sent to an emailer and that was from Alan Sugar complaining about the lack of emails.

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Hardware-happy HP has swallowed a Sun death pill

Natalie Gritpants

You can still buy HP test equipment

It has an Agilent sticker on it but it's designed and build by the same people who made it at HP. They have Agilent badges now. It's still really good.

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Sky Movies too expensive, says Competition Commission

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Man builds gadget to silence annoying TV pundits

Natalie Gritpants
WTF?

MythTV is designed to record TV not watch it

I don't record stuff I don't want to watch. Don't watch TV in realtime very often and when I do I really miss the 30s skip button.

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Natalie Gritpants

90% flawlessly

Not sure you realize how bad that sounds.

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Average sozzled Brit sinks 5,800 pints during life

Natalie Gritpants
WTF?

Why do you even need to do a survey

Surely you just divide the output of the drinks industry by the size of the drinking population.

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HP chief bows to Jobsian cult

Natalie Gritpants

Definite pseud

Thanks for the memories that word brought back.

I think he means gizmos are subject to the vagaries of fashion and HP are not fashionable. - worthy of a NoShitSherlock icon.

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Fort Knox military cops disgusted with solar patrol carts

Natalie Gritpants

It's approximately one Fort Knox

See title.

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Natalie Gritpants
Thumb Up

> United States Mint Police, who are equipped with bicycles

They are also equipped with a handy army base complete with soldiers, guns and helicopters etc.

I don't imagine they are going to have a problem with looters any time soon.

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TalkTalk, Tiscali fined £3m in bogus billing smackdown

Natalie Gritpants

So can I sue the blood-sucking ambulance chasers they set on me

after they tried to bill me for services after I had left?

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Explaining the Chocolate Factory's Patent Panic

Natalie Gritpants
Headmaster

As taught to me by my Grandmother

Two beans and a bean; a bean and a half; and half a bean

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Sony prices up PlayStation telly for UK

Natalie Gritpants
WTF?

Holy CRT Batman!

See title

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Google plus Google Plus: You give us info, we sell it!

Natalie Gritpants
Happy

I've got 1 fake out of 1 attempt so far.

Or do you really think my name is Aaron Aardvark?

Kind regards,

Barry Biscuit. (next months ID)

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iLuv iPad 2 case and Bluetooth keyboard

Natalie Gritpants
WTF?

Turn your Ipad into a laptop

And have two batteries to worry about.

While on the subject of worries: padding usually makes a good thermal insulator as does the glass screen. How does the heat from inside the iPad get out? Did you check the temperature is gets too when playing video / minting bitcoins?

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DARPA drops another HTV-2

Natalie Gritpants
Thumb Up

It is rocket science

The R in DARPA stands for research, that means things won't be predictable. This is how we make progress or are we all so old we have forgotten that we had to learn what we know.

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Bankers plot telco bypass for payments

Natalie Gritpants
WTF?

I'd prefer NFC outside my phone.

Why does this have to be in a phone or use the phone network. I'd like a little tag on my keyring that works when I've driven to a cream-tea shop in Cornwall with no mobile coverage.

Out of the two things that you always take when going out, which one always works? Your keys or your phone?

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Lightning strikes cloud: Amazon, MS downed

Natalie Gritpants

Is this ironic?

All these cloud service providers felled by something that came out of a cloud?

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Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1

Natalie Gritpants

One handed

I find that with the right website I only ever need to 20 seconds of one handed holding.

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Twitter-control botnet mines Bitcoins

Natalie Gritpants
WTF?

Is this a bad thing?

So you've left your machine connected to the internet and some use is made of it to benefit someone. Sounds just like SETI but without the hassle of installing it. If you actually need the CPU cycles you will notice it and remove it surely?

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Truck nuts swing onto US freedom of speech agenda

Natalie Gritpants

Those are my bollox!

I claim copyright even though they are scaled down by about 50%.

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World first: UK boffins print out working 3D aeroplane

Natalie Gritpants

I guess the leave the unsintered powder around to support the layer above.

Otherwise this would only be good for making pyramids and bricks.

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Google erects Colombian 'g.co' URL shortener for Google+

Natalie Gritpants

Twitter should talk to someone in Italy

I'm sure the t.it domain is available.

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Google muzzles political dissidents with YouTube ID tweaks

Natalie Gritpants

And this month Mathew, my real name is Aaron Aardavrk

Yes it really is, well at least it was when I cleared out my Google cookies and set up a new account. Since then my real name has reverted back to what it was before. Next month I think I'll be Barry Bignob for a few minutes.

Here in the UK your real name is what you chose it to be and you don't have to go through any hoops for it to be so. It may be illegal to drive if you don't update your driving license, and you should inform the taxman etc but you can call yourself anything you want at any moment.

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Bug-Byte Manic Miner

Natalie Gritpants
Thumb Up

Please do Chuckie Egg

Or tell me where to get hold of it again.

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Volvo S60 DRIVe

Natalie Gritpants
WTF?

So now it's OK to drink (coffee) and drive.

And by the looks of the video it's OK to stare out of the side windows while driving around busy urban streets. And that's some serious smearing when the wipers operate, pretty bad for a new car.

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Ofcom slaps Channel 5 for loud PlayStation ads

Natalie Gritpants

Please Ofcom mandate some signalling around breaks

I don't care how you do it (mpeg stream meta-data, blank video frames, beeps, subtitles). Then I can program MythTV to cut them all out.

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Moderatrix kisses the Reg goodbye

Natalie Gritpants

Left handed eh?

That explains a lot.

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Google in preemptive strike on Microsoft Office 365

Natalie Gritpants

I just don't trust this bloke

Can't put my finger on it, prolly the backstory, but he just comes across as a motormouth more suited to a car showroom.

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Dam Busters dog dubbed 'Digger'

Natalie Gritpants

In the interests of inclusivity

they should rename the dog "Cunt", then we can all be offended.

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Pirate-bothering ACS:Law lawyer goes bankrupt

Natalie Gritpants
WTF?

Maths

ACS:Law was fined £200,000 but it was reduced to £1,000 because it had ceased trading. Yet here we find Andrew Crossley has a house worth £700,000 and he had gone bankrupt. I would have thought he could sell the house to pay the fine and still have £500,000.

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Smart Fortwo Electric Drive e-car

Natalie Gritpants
Thumb Down

Not funny

You're moving half a ton of metal silently, you'd better make sure you can stop or they notice you somehow.

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Sandi Toksvig puts the 'n' into cuts - on the Beeb

Natalie Gritpants
Coat

"That word is way out in front"

Doesn't know his biology - way out in front is cock

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Gordon Ramsay menaced by enormous TURKEY

Natalie Gritpants
WTF?

Wooton Dusset ???!!!?!?!?!!?

Come on if you're going to make up English village names at least make them suggestive.

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Designer punts ultimate customisable keyboard

Natalie Gritpants

Help

My darling daughter has figured this keyboard out and all I have now is four giant keys: P, O, N and I. They cover everything including the "arrange" button and I can't get it back.

Posted from my Iphone.

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VIA double stuffs x64 clone chips

Natalie Gritpants
Thumb Down

I used to be a VIA fan

back in the days when they were the only way to get a fanless system to play MPEG2 but they have dropped the ball too many times for me to like them anymore:

* Rubbish opensource support.

* Vapourware announcements .

* Slow IA32 exection.

And now I'm using an ASUS AT3IONT-I to drive my TV, it does H.264 at 1080p60 with real de-interlacing.

So this is 23% better power? - not if you can't buy it yet.

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Panasonic DMP-BDT310 Blu-ray player

Natalie Gritpants

Sounds like junk

If you think that UI is razor sharp you must be a beardy. Transparency is bollocks as your screen grab shows, even the huge word "Thor" is hard to read and the visible bits of people confuse the UI. Making 2D into 3D on the fly is just stupid as your review shows, So it's a blu ray player - so what?

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Citroën lifts lid on looming diesel hybrid

Natalie Gritpants
WTF?

That's not four wheel drive

Good luck trying to get out of a muddy field.

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Wii 2 announcement in June

Natalie Gritpants
Thumb Up

And there was me thinking about buying one

Seriously late adopter, but we just borrowed one for Wii fit after an ankle injury and will buy one when the lenders return. Now we'll wait.

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Viking Modular plugs flash chips into memory sockets

Natalie Gritpants
Boffin

RTFA you nutters

It's just using the DIMM socket for power and mechanical mounting. Nice if you are tight on space and have spare DIMM slots.

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MYSTERY of huge Canadian chicken-shed EXPLOSION

Natalie Gritpants
Headmaster

"used to be part of the landscape"

"It was like somebody chopped it up into little pieces and just flung it everywhere,"

Surely that means it is still part of the landscape?

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